Once upon in a time in an awful smelling apartment due to lack of cleaning, there was a short guy with very big eyes named, Do Kyungsoo.

 

See, Do Kyungsoo believes in fairytales and happy endings so every time when our fair Kyungsoo is swept off by his feet, he loves his Prince Charming with all his heart. However, Do Kyungsoo was not taught by Cinderella, Snow White, and the Lion king that the population of Prince Charmings are fairly almost non-existent.

 

Apparently, Belle from the Beauty and the Beast, Lilo and Stitch, and Aurora from Sleeping Beauty, did not also taught him that not all charming people belongs to a royal family and are crowned princes. Some of this charming people are commitment phobics, chauvinists, megalomaniacs, emotional wits, and some of them are ty people were in a relationship or married.

 

Also, Elsa and Anna from Frozen, Bambi, Mickey Mouse, and all ing Walt Disney's characters forgot to tell Do Kyungsoo that not all men who makes you feel like a princess, those people who on first dates had firework shows, gives you a thousand roses, and protects you from witches like Byun Baekhyun are not apparently 'the-ing-one' because for example, Do Kyungsoo thought Kim Junmyeon was 'the-ing-one' until he had learned that Kim Junmyeon was 'ing-two-people-in-their-entire-relationship-and-Kyungsoo-find-them-ing-in-Kim-Junmyeon's-office-when-he-tried-to-surprise-him-for-their-second-anniversary-and-the-ee-was-Zhang-Yixing-who-was-Kyungsoo's-bestfriend.'

 

Apart from Kim Junmyeon was cheating on him with Zhang Yixing, lost work because those two cheating bastards is working with him in the same company, and had to transfer into a stinky apartment because he was living with Junmyeon, Do Kyungsoo's childhood is ruined because Walt Disney had lied to him and caused him an awful love life.

 

However, Do Kyungsoo did not know that his true love will be met in the most unexpected way.

 

"Oh my god. You look like somone had cheated on you with your best friend, lost work, and had been stolen everything good in your life." The witch or as everyone knows Byun Baekhyun said.

 

"Because Byun Baekhyun those things you said apparently happened to me." Kyungsoo replied dryly. It just happened four days ago and he is not proud of what happened but he could not think of other witty retort to say.

 

"I told you that Zhang Yixing isn't the good messenger of God he proclaims to be because he is a Chinese."

 

Do Kyungsoo reflects for a second why of all people he decided to go Byun Baekhyun after his tragic heartbreak.

 

"That's just plain racist." Kyungsoo replies and takes a sip of his coffee which is bitter which is like him and his broken heart torn into tiny little pieces stomped by tiny little Junmyeons and tiny little Yixings.

 

Kyungsoo's reflection over Byun Baekhyun turned out to be a series of remembering of Baaekhyun constant loud knocking on his new door and saying, "I have come to save the day you broken baby! Baekhyun is here to give light to your dark life!" and a constant dragging and threatening.

 

"No, it is not." Baekhyun says smugly, who crosses his legs and crosses his arms. Kyungsoo thought he would also make the sign of the cross but he remembers Baekhyun is the great great godson of Hitler and Red Skull (who is Captain America's archenemy, Kyungsoo learned, over Marvel movie marathon because he does not trust Disney anymore)

 

"You know that you are not good with Chinese people. Remember Luhan? The guy who proclaimed his love for you in a party and after a week broke up with you because of that stoner Oh Sehun?"

 

Kyungsoo remembered how everyone cheered for them and clearly gave them the title of 'Couple of the Year' which was practically stupid because they were only freshmen in high school but Kyungsoo loved Luhan until the Chinese blurted, "Its not you, its me.", which was a lie because Luhan should have said, "Its not you, its not me, its ing Oh Sehun the largest stoner of the batch who will be."

 

"Remember Wu Yi Fan? The guy you dated in college who was sent to Canada for exchanged program? Who promised you that you would defy long distance relationship failures and after a month dumped you for another Chinese guy, named Zi Tao?"

 

Kyungsoo remembered Wu Yi Fan who was the very epitome of perfection. Kyungsoo thought he would be finally the guy because Yi Fan was perfect every inch (well except his drawing and painting skills) until Wu Fan broke every promise and said "I'm sorry but I need space.", which was a lie because it should have been, "There's too much space between us I decided to cheat on you Do Kyungsoo because you are fabulous but Huang Zi Tao is more fabulous like a diva."

 

And then, Do Kyungsoo remembers every single one of his relationships where everything was alright, perfect even, until someone leaves him for reasons he could not fathom, for things he did not expect.

 

Do Kyungsoo is good, he believed, many had said. He does not even slap a mosquito because mosquitos only wants blood which is their food. So he lets them sip from his skin because Do ing Kyungsoo thinks if he gets hungry, his refrigirator does not slap his whole body when he tries to get his sandwich.

 

In one explicit moment, every fragment of memories of broken love had surged into his brain and he had an epiphany, "Something is ing wrong with me." Kyungsoo mutters aloud.

 

"Of course, there is. I've been talking for almost an hour and you're just staring into space and -."

 

"What is wrong with me, Baekhyun?" Kyungsoo finally cries.

 

"Oh my god! You're eyes are leaking! Kyungsoo! Why are you crying?!" Baekhyun shouts which only steals more attention from people than Kyungsoo's crying. "Is this because of how glorious I look today?! Do not ing cry over that!"

 

Kyungsoo nearly laughs, only that everything seems to change in his perception. People don't leave him because they are making the wrong decisions nor Kyungsoo is too good to be true nor they have been raised by their parents in a wrong way and they must be ashamed nor they are some bastards. There was nothing wrong with those people, something is wrong with him.

 

Something is wrong with Do Kyungsoo.

 

"Listen Do Kyungsoo,"Kyungsoo does not know how Baekhyun managed to sat beside him, shook him up from his trance, and looked at him right in the eye. "Even though you don't look as phenomenal as me and -."

 

"Ah, I'm not really thinking about that Baek-."

 

Baekhyun shook him up again. "Shut up! And if you do not get to shag hot men as much I do and -."

 

"Baek, really, there's no need to -."

 

"And even though you are short as an elf, and -."

 

"Um, Baek, we're practically the same height and -."

 

"Even though you did not finish medical school and your parents were disappointed at you and -."

 

"No, mum and dad, are actually okay with it now."

 

"And though, my mom still thinks you are a lesbian -."

 

"What the actual ? Your mom thinks I'm a lesbian? I'm a manly man!"

 

"Because Kyungsoo you look like a fragile little girl who skips in the pink brick road on the way to save Oz and -."

 

"It's actually yellow, Baek."

 

"Shut up! The glorious one is talking!" Baekhyun proclaims and additional heads turn into their place. "What I'm trying to say here is you are not perfect, Do Kyungsoo, and I am!"

 

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes and face palmed. He thought, Baekhyun was actually making a coherent point that will actually make sense. Who is he kidding? He's talking to Byun Baekhyun.

 

"And I am a genius. What you need, darling, is sugar, spice, and -." Baekhyun stands up and Kyungsoo wants to tear every fiber of his being.

 

"Is to sign up with online dating!" Baekhyun says as if he discovered the cure for ebola which is completely the opposite.

 

"Okay, now, Baekhyun. I'm going home now, sulk, mourn, nurse my broken heart, and reflect over my miserable life. I'm jusy going to imagine that you did not just said the most outrageous thing and lost my tiny respect over you in this conversation." Kyungsoo says and drinks the coffee he odered before, cold and bitter in his mouth.

 

"Why is it not a good idea?" Baekhyun says questioningly.

 

"Because it is online dating"

 

"And?" Baekhyun's left eyebrow shots upward, gloriously.

 

"And what?" Kyungsoo retorts.

 

"And what is wrong with that?" Baekhyun asks smugly and . . gloriously.

 

"Its online dating, Baekhyun. Its self-explanatory." Kyungsoo feels he had woke up the Smaug inside Baekhyun because Byun Baekhyun is not acting glorious at the momment but rather more like a dragon.

 

"You know, now that I actually think about it, there is nothing wrong with you." Baekhyun says as a normal person would say and Kyungsoo something he said is wrong because Baekhyun is neve normal. "It's what you believe in. The fairytale of love but sorry to say honey, this is reality. And reality is not an orchestrated story, the story in here is the person, it is you."

 

Kyungsoo thinks Baekhyun might be Confucius at his last life.

 

"And stop being a , you dickhead. You need to move on and get laid."

 

And then, maybe not.

 

Kyungsoo does not know why he is at home,sitting while his laptop is on his lap, and logging in a website which has a banner that says, "YOU ARE LONELY AND MISERABLE. YOU ARE HERE TO EITHER FIND TRUE LOVE OR JUST TO SHAG SOMEONE."

 

Baekhyun has taken up of being friendly enough of creating Kyungsoo's account and this is what it contains:

 

USERNAME: shaggingmen

PASSWORD: shaggingmen12345

 

Name: Do Shagger Kyungsoo

Age: 23

Gender: Male

Relationship Status: Shagging men

Hobbies: Shagging men

Job: Shangging men

Favorite Food: Shagging men

 

And other more part of the profile that is entirely answered as 'Shagging men'. It seemed that Baekhyun has created a profile which seemed to be a target for internet predators.

 

Kyungsoo deleted the account and tried to make a new one because he could feel Baekhyun's eyes are staring on him even though Baekhyun is far away, maybe shagging men gloriosly. Kyungsoo thinks he needs a new friend.

 

You have three messages.

 

bonergarage: HELLO EARTHLING! DO YOU NEED A FRIEND?! I COULD BE! WITH BENEFITS TOO!

 

Kyungsoo deletes the message.

 

barrelrider: Do you watch The Hobbit? I saw it on your profile. If yes, then darling, you are in for a surprise because I can do every position, Middle Earth style.

 

Kyungsoo deletes the message and loses hope.

 

dancingchicken: Hi ;)

 

Kyungsoo thinks maybe he could give it a try.

 

**

 

Kyungsoo doesn't really know how he and 'dancingchicken' manage to hang out this very night. Kyungsoo doesn't really know why is he laying down in bed of Kim Jongin's (dancingchicken's nickname) apartment and apparently having a make up session. 

 

Maybe because because Kim Jongin is funny. Maybe because Kim Jongin looks like a Greek God. Maybe because Kyungsoo really feels alone. Maybe because they're equally drunk and being drunk could could make you . Maybe bcause Kim Jongin is just really a good kisser.

 

Or just maybe Byun glorious Baekhyun is right, he really needs to get laid.

 

Kyungsoo abruptly stops kissing Kim Jongin because what-the--horsey-christy, why would he think of a disgusting thought (Byun Baekhyun) ? Maybe this is a bad decision after all because when it comes to Baekhyun, there will be always, always, always wrong.

 

Kim Jongin looks at him kind of questioningly, kind of unsatisfied, kind of want to rip Kyungsoo's clothes right now, and kind of Kyungsoo drowning on Jongin's brown eyes. "What's wrong?" Kim Jongin asks, his voice kind of hoarse, kind of husky, and kind of makes Kyungsoo's insides melt.

 

"Maybe we're doing this pretty fast." Kyungsoo difficultly finds his voice because when some god is hovering above you, everything is not easy to do.

 

"Maybe." Kim Jongin answers but continues to kiss Kyungsoo's neck and Jongin's hands already slipping under Kyungsoo's shirt. "Maybe we are." Kim Jongin says.

 

Kyungsoo thinks he needs to wesr a turtleneck tomorrow for the hundred hickeys he will be having.

 

Do Kyungsoo's senses malfunctions maybe because of the alcohol or just maybe because of Jongin's kisses and magical touches. "I don't actually do this kind of thing. You know what I mean?" Kyungsoo hardly says and lets out a moan.

 

He feels Kim Jongin's lips forming a smile in his collarbones, left hand already managed to land on Kyungsoo's pants' crotch area. Kim Jongin kisses him on the mouth, soft enough to make Kyungsoo senseless, and short enough to make the latter, gasped for breath and asking for more.

 

What happens next surprises Kyungsoo because Jongin this time, really stops, still hovering at him, wearing a smirk on his face that makes Kyungsoo agonize. "I know. Its my first time too."

 

Jongin's words doesn't register immediately on Kyungsoo's head. "What?" Kyungsoo asks.

 

"This thing," Jongin says as he opens the first two top buttons of his shirt. Kyungsoo swallows. "What we're doing, it's my first time." Jongin opens the third button. Kyungsoo wants to faint.

 

"Getting your heart broken, your friend forcing you to sign up at online dating, internet predators targetting your profile, choosing one charming chicken to chat with, meeting him the very same night, drinking too much wine that makes you kind of , making out with the chicken guy, saying too many words right now, and apparently will be having after the chicken guy?" Kyungsoo knows his blabbering things he shouldn't say out loud but Jongin was ing his shirt and Kyungsoo's brain just malfunctioned because topless Jongin could be a demigod.

 

He doesn't know which God is Jongin's father but he thinks that one who is the iest who has fine abs that could make girls shriek "OH SON OF THE GOD, KIM JONGIN, HAVE A FEAST IN MY BODY, CONCEICE A CHILD IN MY WOMB, SO I COULD ING MARRY YOU." just by merely looking at it. 

 

Kyungsoo wants to shriek.

 

Jongin was just looking at him intently with lidded eyes and suddenly, Jongin just laughs and maybe Kyungsoo hears heaven because again, Jongin is a demigod, who's laugh is unrestrained and wonderful. 

 

Kyungsoo wants to kiss him.

 

"Yeah, not that specifically, but yes." Jongin says and hovers down, kisses side of Kyungso's lips, jawline, and grazes his teeth along the latter's collarbone.

 

Jongin stops again, this time, face an inch away just away from Kyungsoo. "So want to stop and take it slow?" Jongin says, grinning.

 

Kyungsoo's brain malfunctions entirely because Jongin's face is so near and Jongin is more beautiful up close that Kyungsoo thinks it's unfair to be that attractive. Kyungsoo doesn't think anymore because how could he? His brain is malfunctioning and his body wants Jongin. 

 

No, he needs Jongin so badly.

 

Or Kyungsoo just really needs to get laid tonight.

 

"You're saying this because it's the truth or you just want to get in my pants?" Kyungsoo asks, holding his breath.

 

"Maybe both." Jongin answers, grin still in his face. And that was enough for Kyungsoo to reach Jongin's neck and pull the latter down for a full kiss.

 

Kyungsoo didn't know as he kisses Kim Jongin, possible demigod, is that Do Kyungsoo already found his real Prince Charming.