I saw you in a pile of books

You are my new dream

Playlist:   

Ed Sheeran – U.N.I

Ed Sheeran - Lego House

1987 - bomb


 

Junhong’s POV

I woke by the light from the curtains. A small score between the windowsill and the curtain let a small ray of sun hit my face. It was like sleeping with a really bright light in the room. After a few minutes of trying to fall asleep again I gave up. I was now wide awake.

 

I kicked of the blanket and laid my arm over my face. I yawed and scratched my chest as it felt a bit itchy. I felt groggy like you usually do during the mornings. I took me a few minutes to take a grip around reality. Now I finally understood what day its was and what was happening. My brain was also awake now.

 

The pillow and sheets felt extra soft this morning and I really wanted to go back to sleep but the sun didn’t agree with me. I reached for my phone to see if I had any notices. Nothing. I looked up on the screen and saw that it was 10.32. I groaned, I hate to sleep so long. I like to wake up early so I don’t sleep away the whole forenoon. 

 

I slowly kicked away the blanket so I was all exposed. I stretched my body and stood up. I went to the window and just stood in front of it. my brain was working really slow, I’m pretty much not a morning person. I’m a anti-morning person who liked to wake up early, a applause here please.

 

I rubbed my hands all over my face to wake up a bit more and corrected my underwear with my right hand as it was giving me a wedgie. I reached my hand to the strap to pull up the curtains and let in some sun light and make the room brighter.

 

The light from outside hit me like a headlight.

“agghh” I turned around my head and squeezed my eyes in pain. The light was to bright for my tired eyes and I wasn’t ready for it. It’s freaking September morning, why is it so bright? I couldn’t see the world outside because it was like staring at a white wall. My eyes slowly adapted to the light and I could finally see.

 

It was a beautiful day today though. It was a clear blue sky and it almost looked like summer even though it was in the middle of fall. I felt like I was the only one who slept until now because the streets were full and it was life everywhere. People walking their dogs, girls and boys walking around, adult walking to their work, cars pretty much everywhere and old men loading on big boxes onto trucks.

 

Turning around I walked towards my wardrobe to put on sweatpants and a t-shirt. My stomach made a grumbling sound and it felt like I haven’t eaten food in days. Lets make breakfast.

 

I made a egg and bacon sandwich with a glass of juice. I got the newspaper from the mail drop in my door and sat down in my kitchen.

 

My apartment has one bedroom, a kitchen and a bathroom. It sound small but the rooms, especially the kitchen is really big. I’ve a TV in my kitchen and I always do my paperwork, homework and work overall at my kitchen table. I’ve a portable speaker that you connect with your phone through Bluetooth that I play all my music on. I use it while studying and if I want to practice some cerography from my dance lessons.

 

I flipped through the newspaper to see if something interesting happened during the night. Nothing special nor important was going on so I fold the papers and put it on the counter. I would read it later.

 

I reached for the TV remote and the TV. MTV had a Kpop MV marathon and even though I prefer American music I didn’t bother to change the channel. I like kpop quite much, especially the rap groups like BTS.

 

While I let the music in the background play, they were currently playing I Swear by Sistar, I took my MacBook from the counter and turned it on. I put it in front of me and waiting for it to warm up. This is one of the reasons why I think Apple is lacking. Sure, great product but why do every single one of them start so slow?

 

As I waited for it I watched Sistar on the TV. They had done some ‘Indie’ kind of music videos. Not like all those traditional when they dance around in colourful outfits and have glowing backgrounds. This one was about them living a life in America together. They dances on some rocks with a beautiful sunset in the background and you saw different clips of what seems to be their daily life (or vacation I don’t know).

 

I rather like Sistar, I must say. They all are really talented and good looking. I always keep an extra eye on Hyorin. She’s my favourite. Their songs are always good but lately they have begun releasing more ‘Indie’ songs instead of following the typical kpop soundtrack. I really like that, ‘I Swear’ and ‘Touch My Body’ are so far my favourites.

 

My laptop screen shine up and I turned my gaze towards it. I entered my password and open Safari to check my mail. A few mails from facebook that someone liked my picture, a mail from school and a chain mail.

 

I deleted all facebook mails and the chain mail. Then I read the mail from my university. It was a mail from our professor that we had to complete a task until next week. I was already done with it, I completed it last week, and then I deleted that mail to.

 

I ate the rest of my breakfast and turned off my computer. I didn’t have time to use it much longer since I wanted to be at the library at 11.30 am.

 

I stood up and put the laptop in one of the counter trays and cleaned of the table. I bent down and put all the dishes in the dishwasher. Then I turned off the TV and went into the bathroom.

 

I dragged my feet into the bathroom and saw myself in the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyes from tonight. I watched a movie past 02:00 and I really regret it now. You could really see that I lost some sleep this night.

 

I splashed some cold water in my face and dried it with a towel. I reached for my toothbrush and toothpaste and brushed my teeth.

 

I pulled my fingers through my hair and examined my scalp. The outgrowth was about 1 cm and I really needed to re-dye my hair. I had some thoughts on changing the colour instead of dying it silver again. Maybe dark blue or blonde. I’ve always been like this. Not liking to fit in. I started to dye my hair when I was 15 and I think I’ve had most of the colours in the rainbow. Fitting in in the society is hard since however you act you will always be judge. It doesn’t matter if you are “totally normal”, people will still look down on you and find something tahts wrong with you. You’re either to fat or to skinny, to tall or to short, to weird or to boring, to that to this. So I decided that whatever I do people will still look down on my in some kind of way, so I dyed my hair. Life is to short to have boring hair you know.

 

Society scares me sometimes. Or most of the time. We look down on people just because they don’t fit in to the “normal standard”. Just because they have their own style we think that they aren’t like everybody else. We blame society when WE ARE the society. We wonder why people just cant accept the way we want to be, but then we judge the ones who don’t think the way we do.

 

Whatever you do, however you dress, whatever you say there always someone who have another opinion. That’s why I don’t care about what people think of me anymore. I’ve noticed that I’m much happier ‘cause of that. In some peoples eyes I’m strong and self-confident, and in others I’m just different. Different in some way that people decide not to talk to me because they already have a determined way of how I’ll act, a stereotype. We have stereotypes that everyone who has tattoos, piercings and colourful hair are addicts who rob and steal things. Have bad grades, not giving about family and such.

 

The same thing about the human race. We judge different skin colours without even bother to know the person. My father used to say that if everyone went into a dark room , the only thing we could actually see is the gender of the person in front of us, and nothing else. Not if the person had tattoos, the persons skin colour, not the way they dress. Because, in the end we’re all humans. We were born , and will die .

 

When I was done in the bathroom I went to my bedroom. I open the drawers and picked a clean set of underwear and socks. Then I walked over to the wardrobe and took out a pair of dark blue jeans and a knitted dark blue sweater.

 

I sat down at the edge of my bed and put on my socks. Then I changed my underwear, carefully checking all the windows so no one outside could see in, and put on my pants. I took of my t-shirt and put on the sweater. I stood up and went over to the body mirror. I saw my self in the reflections. I fixed small details that probably one I would notice. I bent forward a bit to have some last polish on my hair before I walked over to the drawer. I open one of the trays and picked up my favourite perfume from Calvin Klein. Now I was ready to make my weekly visit at the library.

 

 

Yongguk’s POV:

 

I parked my car in front of the big old building. The library was about to open in a few minutes and I was a bit late. The traffic in Korea is insane and it felt like it was a red light at every block.

 

I half ran around the building to the backside entrance. All employees entered on the backside instead of the main doors. All employees has keys to the backside but only the owner, Mr Jung, has the keys to the front door. He owns the whole building and I guess that the library is some kind of inheritance in his family.

 

I’ve been working at the local library for about 5 days. Its not a exhausting job really from what I’ve experienced. I mostly pack up books, place them where they should be, take borrowed books from the filing box and register them so we know that they’re back and take care of the computer to write down and register all the books to be lent. I also help people to find books and check the computer to see if they are on loan or if we even have the book in our storage.

 

I cant say that it’s a fun job but its relaxing in some kind of way, and its easy money. It’s a nice variety from my other work. I also work at a restaurant during the nights. I work there between 3 pm – 8 pm Monday to Friday. The restaurant business is pretty hectic so this is calming. Here I work during the days and mornings. I work Saturday to Wednesday, 10 am – 2 pm.

 

Both jobs aren’t really what I thought I would work with. I’ve always wanted to work in the music industry and own a company and produce music, but I guess I haven’t really tried to fulfilled my dream. 

 

After collage I didn’t have any money to stay in my apartment so I needed a job fast, so I sent a application to a restaurant (I found out from the newspaper that they searched for new waiters) and they accepted it. I worked there for almost 2 years but got tired of it and searched for a new job. It all ended with me working at this restaurant instead. I was in need for some extra cash so I found this job and well, now I’m here.

 

As I stepped in through the door I meet my only colleague for today today. We work three at a time (if you count Mr. Jung who’s always here). His name is Heelbeum if my memory is correct. I nodded to him as he disappeared up the stairs. He lifted his right hand in answer.

 

I put all my things in the locker. I only kept my phone in my back pocket.

 

Unlike the restaurant, we don’t need to wear anything special. Only a badge with a sign of the library symbol to show that we work here.

 

I went to the bathroom to clean my hands real fast before I had to work. I checked myself in the mirror to see if I looked good, only if I would see any cute guys and had to look decent. I corrected my bangs and the collar of the black long-sleeved shirt I wore. I kept it simple and classy.

 

And yes, I’m gay. I’ve always been. I never had any interest in girls further than friendship. I can’t even remember if I ever had a crush on a girl in my younger age. I was very depressed over that because I thought I was intricate when I was younger. But the older I got the more I realized that it was normal to like someone of the same and I stopped being depressed. At the age of 15 I found out that more guys then I though felt the same way and I started dating. Most of them was just confused or in a phase, so no one of them led to something more.

 

But you can’t really see that I’m gay. Most people becomes surprised when I tell them about my uality because “you don’t look gay”. There’s a difference between being gay and being gay. You can either be really feminine and look gay, or you can be like me and just be attracted to men.

 

I walked up the stairs and into the staffroom. I open the door into the library and closed in behind me. “Staff Only” it said.

I went over to the counter where Heelbeum and Mr. Jung were talking. They both turned around when they saw me.

 

“Good morning, Yongguk!” Mr. Jung greeted me. To me honest he’s one of the best bosses I have ever had. He’s always cheerful and he really cares about the few of us that work here.

“Good morning!” I smiled. I saw the clock on the wall and realized that I was right in time.

“So, Heelbeum will start at the computer today and then you can swap in an hour or so” He told us.

“Okey, no problem” I rubbed my hands together. “What will I do meanwhile?” I lifted my eyebrows.

Mr. Jung bent down under the desk and picked up three big boxes of books.

“This is some books we received yesterday” He patted the pile of books with his right hand. “We’ve a few more in the staffroom. You can begin with this three. And as you already know..” He gave me a paper “Here’s the list of which section the books will be in”.

“Yeess~” I said as I checked through the paper.

 

I nodded at Mr. Jung and Heelbeum and disappeared into the Staff room to get a cart to carry all the heavy books. Mr. Jung cares a lot about us, like I said before. He bought a bunch of carts for us employees so we don’t harm our backs while lifting the books

 

I took the first cart in the line and pushed it outside.

 

I loaded all the boxes and started my order.

 

After about 30 minutes, with one and a half box left more and more people entered the library.

 

I turned around while writing small ‘x’ next to the books that were done I saw a tall boy next to Mr. Jung. He was impressively tall and had silver, almost light brown dyed hair. He wore a dark blue sweater. I couldn’t se his face but of what I saw on his neck he was very pale, almost milky.

 

I stared at him until I felt someone tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Heelbeum stand there. I lifted my eyebrows.

 

“Its your turn at the computer” he said simply.

“What, already?” I said surprised. I turned around and saw the clock on the wall. “It have only been 40 minutes”

“Yeah, but Mr. Jung told me so” He lifter his shoulders.

“Okey, here’s the list” he said and gave him the list”

“Thanks” He said and took it from my hands.

I glanced at that boy and was about to leave Heelbeum and his cart before I heard him say something. I turned around.

“Ehmm..” He said awkwardly. “I know you’re gay and stuff..” He scratched his backhead.

I lifted my eyebrows in surprise. “Wha-“

“Wait, let me talk” He cut me off. “But you shouldn’t stare at that boy so much”

“Which boy?” I acted dumb.

“The tall one who’s talking to Mr. Jung. Don’t act stupid, I saw you” He said and almost smiled.

“Why, if I can ask?” I wondered.

“Well..” He begun. “I saw, from standing next to them, how much you looked at him. It was like you were undressing him Yongguk!” He chuckled. “And they probably saw that to because they are both looking at us right now and Mr. Jung pointed at you a minute ago”

“..” my checks turned light pink. “Please, don’t let me go over there, can’t you stay with the computers a few minutes more until he leaves?”

“No, Yongguk be a man for gods sake!” He laughed “And by the way, he won’t leave for a while..”

“What, why?”

“He’s always here on Saturdays. He usually stays for two-three hours and read some books. Then he borrow some of them and goes home” Heelbeum started to place out books in the bookshelf next to us.

I sighed. “Well me then..” I said and turned around.

“Good luck” He teased.

I gave him a quick ‘ you’ before I walked towards the counter aka that boy and Mr. Jung.

 

They didn’t look my way and were in the middle of a conversation.

 

I walked behind the boy, around the counter and between the gap to get behind the counter. I went over to the computer, looking at my feet the whole time, and start to organize some books next to it, hoping that the boy didn’t notice me.

“Ahh, Yongguk” I felt a hand on my back “Come here~”

 

I followed his movement and looked up from my pile of books. He placed me in front of that boys.

 

“This Junhong, is Yongguk, my newest employee” Mr. Jung said almost proudly.

I studied the boys face and came up at a conclusion that he wasn’t a boy. He’s a dude. He cant be many years younger than me.

He had a very cute face. We got eyecontact and he looked over to Mr. Jung. He had a strong jawline and very nice collarbones. He had, like I thought, milky white skin and pink lips. He was, very, attractive.

I bowed at him “Bang Yongguk, nice to meet you” I smiled.

“Choi Junhong. Nice to meet you to” He smiled and bowed back. He had a rather high voice. Not like a boys but quite high for someone in his age. But like I said, very attractive.

My thought got cut off from Mr. Jung. “At the very first moment I saw Yongguk I knew that he would be great” Mr. Jung laid his arm around my shoulders.

I chuckled deeply. “You really thoughts so?” I joked with him.

“Of curse I did!” He smiled.

I glanced at Junhong and saw him smiling at Mr. Jungs comment. We got eyecontact and I quickly looked away. My stomach tingled a bit.

“It was nice to meet you, Yongguk” He smiled. “But I’ll go away and read some if it okey”

I smiled and nodded. Out conversasion were over and I went over to the computer again.

“See you soon, Junhong” Mr. Jung smiled.

 

 

I registered some of the books and worked at the computer helping people for about an hours and 30 minutes. About 30 people, mostly students, lent some books. Now and then I glanced at Junhong who sat in the middle of the room.

He read a ton of books. I studied the way he carefully choose the books he wanted to read. Smiling now and then when he found a section in the book he liked. He read only a few chapters until he knew if he wanted to lent the book or not. He had two piles, one with bokes he wanted to take home, and one he didn’t like. I figured out that the right pile was the books he liked because every time he added a book he smiled. He had such a cute smile. Small dimples at each side of his lips. He seemed to be so carefree and peaceful, only caring about the books in front of him. He was completely lost in the book, and I was completely lost in him. Nothing around him seemed to exist except the pile of books.

 

I supported my self on the edge of the counter and watched him. I tiled my head a bit.

 

After a while he disappeared with the left pile. Normally people would just leave the books and let the workers take care of them, but not Junhong. He replaced all the books where he got them and he insured that the books where at the right place. Soon he came back with a new books.

“He’s interesting, isn’t he?” A voice beside me said. I jumped up from my position since I got pretty scared. It was Mr. Jung.

“Oh sorry I scared you” He chuckled.

“No problem” I hold my hand over my chest and smiled.

“You know..” Mr. Jung started. “I’ve known Junhong since he was 8 years old. His family and I were really good friends” I nodded while he talked to show him that I’d listen. I was quite curious about this boy.

“We used to celebrate Christmas and new years together, and a lot of times we used visited each other. Junhong was a very lively and good boy. Always happy and energetic”

“Ah” I said, mostly to myself and glanced over to him at the middle of the library.

“He’s a strong soul.. He’s been going through a lot..” Mr. Jung talked lower.

“Why?” I turned around and frowned “If I may ask”

“His father died when he was 14.. He had a and past away after a week”

My heart sank.

“His father was a wonderful man, Yongguk. When he died Junhong took it pretty hard. But who am I to blame him?” I listened carefully to what he would say.

“He didn’t go to school for weeks and he never went outside. After a months something must had happened because from nowhere he went back to the old self. He must had realized what his mother needed him and that nothing would be better of him just hiding in his room. Sadly, the world moves on. He helped his mother a lot at home. I almost felt sorry for him because he took responsibility a 14 year old shouldn’t have to take, but what should I say. When a family member passes away it truly leaves its marks.” Mr Jung sighed and paused.

“Then he decided to move here to Seoul and study engineering. His mother and I decided that I would keep and extra eye on him. He comes here every Saturday to read. He have always loved books. It think its his escape from the rough reality.. Reality is a prison for him sometimes”

I watched Junhong. Letting the story Mr Jung just told me sink in. Being a 14 years old a loose someone that close must be so hard.. I can’t even imagine of it would feel. My heart felt heavy. He was so innocent in some kind of way, almost angelic. It must’ve been such a trauma for a young boy go through something like that. Feeling alone, like you’re the only one in the world. I almost felt proud of him that he helped his mother. That he won over his depression and instead of hiding he did the right thing and took care of his mother.

He looked up, almost like he felt my gaze on him. Our eyes met and it felt like it was only him and I in the room. 


Thank you for reading! Almost 4300 words in this chapter!

Please subsrice and comment what you think^^

I hope you liked this chapter, I felt like I rushed it to much though >< 

 

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Comments

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MinHae
#1
Chapter 2: Aww this is so sweet already ^^
BlueBlossomXX
#2
Chapter 2: Very nice author-nim~ please update soon ^w^
bambi97
#3
Chapter 2: I love his work really.. banglooo god
sarabang #4
Omg i cant believe yongguk is the gay usually zelo the one wow that's crazy but I love it plz keep going i love this fic ^_^
bambi97
#5
Chapter 1: That realistic .. your work is perfect I'll be following this fanfic .. I love is like watching a kind of anime or series .. good job.