[CONTENTID1]

Seulmi was out of the school premises luckily, without any fresh cuts. Well, except from the incision that she made on herself in of the stall in the school’s comfort room. There wasn’t any chief occurrence and she was delighted that one more day was over. As she hiked back to her residence, the closer she became, the slower her strides happen to be. She enjoys the diminutive liberty she experience outside school and her house.

It wasn’t always like this, Seulmi notioned. It had grown to be her daily routine to reminisce and dredge up during her walk home from school about certain happenings in her life, when it was all fine and well. She remembered that their family used to be happy and complete. Her mother was there to take care of her and her father never once laid a hand on her. It was the best she could ever have.

The smell of fried eggs, freshly cooked rice and hot chocolate, spread across their whole house from the kitchen where Seulmi’s mother was making breakfast. Seulmi, hurried her steps from her room upstairs down to the kitchen, not minding if she’s still wearing her sleeping clothes. She spotted her father sitting in the dining table reading the daily paper.

“Good morning mom.” She sing-songed as she stole a small piece cut of fried egg from the platter. Her mom swatted her hand away lightly and chuckled, “Good morning sweetheart. Sit down. This will be cooked in a few minutes.” She said, the edge of her eyes wrinkled as she smiled.

Seulmi pounted but then defiantly took another piece, quickly stuffed it inside , her finger and went off to hug her dad from the back as he was reading the headline news, “Morning dad.” Seulmi pecked his cheeks.

“Good morning Seulmi, what time does your classes start?” His dad asked randomly. His eyes still fixated on the morning paper. The steam of the coffee he was drinking was creating condensation on the paper.

Seulmi tapped her lower lip with her point finger, “8:30. Why do you ask?” she wondered and thought maybe her dad wanted to give her a ride to school.

His dad raised his wrist up to show Seulmi the time from his wristwatch. It showed 8:34 am and as soon as Seulmi saw the time and allowed the information to sink in, a loud shriek echoed in the Park household.

“I’m late! Dad, you could’ve told me earlier!”

His dad laughed heartily, “Well, I couldn’t exactly break your morning bubble.”

“Ugghh! Great! It’s the first day of school and I’m late.” She bellowed and another wave of laugher could be heard from her parents in the kitchen.

When Seulmi finished dressing up for school, her hair tied up in a clean bun, she went downstairs to bid her parents goodbye. She saw her dad hugging her mom from behind as her mom washed the dishes with contentment in her eyes. 

Someday, she thought. Someday she wanted to have a family like the family her mom and dad built. 

They were so happy.

She cleared and when her father turned his head to look at her daughter, "You look beautiful darling. Just like your mother."

"I know." Seulmi proudly responded.

She kissed the both of them goodbye and went off to school.

She hopped towards school, wondering how the rest of the day would go.

Seulmi smiled bitterly, if she could go back to that last morning where she could see her mother and father together, she would’ve told them how much she loves the both of them. She could’ve tried hard to keep them together. She could’ve begged for her mother to stay. Especially that day…

“Mom, don’t.” She pleaded as she held her mother’s hand. Her dad was on the other room, drunk and finally, asleep. “Don’t leave me. Don’t leave us. Don’t do this to our family.” She cried out. She couldn’t care less if her nose was running; her mother not leaving was her top priority.

“I’m sorry, Seulmi. I don’t love your dad, at least not anymore... and I’m tired of pretending that I do. I found the man for me, Jiyong, he makes me feel… alive, young and… I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Her mom answered as she pulled her hand away. She continued packing her clothes in her luggage.

Seulmi cried out loud and started to grab her mom’s clothes from the luggage and threw it out on the floor. “No! No! You can’t do this to me! You can’t leave me! Mom, mom, listen to me…” She begged with tears continuously flowing out of her eyes. “Listen to me, mom, I’m more than willing to forget that you cheated on dad. That you like someone 20 years younger than you. We could just forget it all and go back to the way we were before. Please… Please…Look at him. He’s a wreck. Don’t you feel bad?” She held on her mother’s shirt desperately for a brief moment before kneeling down and hugging her from her waist. “Please, mom… Please!” She held on tightly, afraid that if she let go, her mom would disappear.

Her mom just stood there for a moment, with silent tears in her eyes, “I feel bad. Trust me. That’s why I’m leaving. So both of you can move on from the pain I caused. Seulmi, take care of your dad.”

She looked at her daughter and wanted to stay but she knew that her heart wanted herself to be free. Free of obligations in this family, free from her husband, free from a daughter that demands her attention all the time. For 16 years, she devoted her time for Seulmi. She wasted her youth so now she craved it. She wanted freedom and her man, Kwon Jiyong, gave her just that. Whenever she’s with Jiyong, she feels young again, she feels free from the chains binding her from life. She feels all the adrenaline rushing on her veins. She feels alive, something that her husband never made her feel or at least, couldn’t make her feel anymore.

Call her selfish, but she had never wanted anything this much.

When her husband found out, admittedly, it was only pity she felt for him. She wasn’t heartless and she really did love her husband but as years gone by, the love she once strongly felt faded. It was revived when she met Jiyong though. So, even if it was against the virtues she grew up with, she cheated on her husband.

“I’m sorry Seulmi. Someday, you will be able to understand me.” She said as she smiled on her daughter. “I will face you again, when I’m ready and when you’re ready to forgive me. I’m sorry.”

She pried Seulmi’s arms off her waist and kissed her forehead. Seulmi just continued crying as her mother finished packing her bags and other stuff. For one last time, she kissed Seulmi again on the forehead and said softly, “Take care of your father, okay? Study well and don’t let your grades drop. I love you always.”

“No.” Seulmi said amidst her cries.

Her mother stopped at the front of the room’s door and waited for what her daughter has to say.

“No, mom.” She repeated before turning to her mother and looked at her straight in the eyes. “I will never be able to face you again and I will never forgive you if you leave me and dad for that guy. And no… you don’t love me.” She said while wiping her eyes. She’s still on the floor kneeling.

“Because if you love me, you won’t leave. You know who you love? You love yourself.” Seulmi’s voice was full of poison from the anger filling her up.

Her mothe