Finale
The cold night
It was evening that is filled with laughters and a delicious smell of street food that seem hot that can warm onesbody. The coffee is smell is really addicted here. Almost everyone is holding a cup of coffee. Looking at the sky i think the snowflakes will fall. Proberly i’ll be dead by then.
I was waiting at the park with my hands tightly inside my jacket. Its so cold Afterall. I can hear peoples laughter and everyone has a partner today but where’s mine. I guess i can’t do anything but wait. My stomach growled.
Okay now I’m hungry... It won’t be a big deal if i eat something right now... I mean its not my fault that guy told me to meet here.
I standup from the bench and i feel so cold mostly on mynose. I rushed to one of the food stalls and asked the man to give me spicy rice cake. The man smiled a little before doing his work. I finished it in no time.
Again i endup in the waiting place. My body wasn’t feeling so cold after eating spicy rice cake... Its the first day of year, he told me we’ll meet here by 5pm and now its 7:49 pm... I’m so angry with him now and no... If you think i’ll wait for him anymore then a big no... Why should i even wait for this nonsense guy.
My eyes fell on the mall that was a few meters away. I smiled and walked towards it without thinking twice.
I made my way to one of the chairs and sit. Now you’re asking why i come here? Seriously i don’t no myself. After doing nothing for fifteen minutes, i thought to eat something... Again. I mean what else could i do. I’m not in mood of shopping in such a cold weather so food it is.
I order some fries and and burger munching on them happily. After throwing the trash in bin i thought to walk around.
I was walking without looking infront. My head down with very slow steps. Why would i walk faster... I mean i’m not in rush right.
“OKAY I’LL BE BACK RIGHT NOW!!”
I heard someone’s voice. Seriously why this person is shouting. I didn’t bother and kept my head down.
In next second i don’t no what happened or how it happened. All i know is i’m down with someone else body beside my mine. I try to move my head that hit the floor. I was feeling dizzy until the person who bumped me immediately checked my head. Woah his hands are warm.
“Are you okay? I’m so sorry i was in rush... Did you get hurt anywhere?” He asked worriedly while helping me getting up from the floor.
“Yeah i think just a little bit headache...” I muttered. Normally i would teach the person who bumped into me a lesson. But this guy isn’t rude like them... He's helping me as well.
He take me to the benches and i stare at his face for a while... He’s handsome and tall... A slim body with his hair like a mushroom.
“My name is Chanyeol. Sorry i was in rush so i bumped in you mistakenly.” he mumbled.
I smiled. “My name is Jiyeon. You can go I’m fine now... You’re in rush right? So go and finish it.” I politely asked him to go.
He laughed a light one before shaking his head a little. “I guess its too late now... I just wanted to apologize from the girl but she was mad and didn’t bother to listen... So when i bumped you... After that i try to search her figure but it was gone so i might as well help you because i was the one who make you fall...” So he was chasing someone. I feel sorry for him though even if he didn’t say how he’s feeling i could see the sadness in his eyes.
Then i blurted out my thoughts. “Is she yourgirlfriend?”
Now i was here eating again with this Chanyeol guy. We went to Italian restaurant and he ordered me an expensive pizza even when i said it was okay but he said he don’t like to causetrouble for other’s and run. I guess this is sure a rich kid but he’s nice as well. Now i know not all rich people are same.
We were eating in silence... I mean what should we talk... We’re still strangers for each other...
I was full but the pizza was incredibly awesome that i couldn’t stop myself... I’m so gonna have stomach-ache because of this guy who introduced me to this amazing pizza. Why should he have to eat here from all the places.
I was trying to finish the last piece when i hear a familiar voice. Isn’t it’s him. I turn around to check who enter and my eyes widened. I stare at both figure until the guy eyes meet mine. He smiled brightly and came closer to my table. I didn’t move.
I should’ve greeted him but i’m shocked.
“You’re here. I’m sorry i asked you to come but i didn’t show myself then... I was dealing with her.” He show me the girl who was smiling. I really don’t want to believe what I’m thinking but I’m left with no choice but to confirm it.
“Ehem... Is there’s something wrong?” Chanyeol who just came after paying the bill asked. Why i feel it become so tensed when Chanyeol come... Its not good. I stand up hastily.
“Um Chanyeol... This is Kai my friend and Kai this is Chanyeol...” I stopped saying anything more because i don’t no what should i say about Chanyeol and i don't no about the girl that stand beside Kai. Wait is kai glaring at Chanyeol? I thought.
“Lets sit first okay... Then talk.” I hesitantly sit down following Chanyeol, Kai and that girl who I’m so curious to know.
“So... I want to announce something to you Jiyeon.” Kai told me. Why he feel like he’s mad... There’s something different in his eyes. I nodded and he continued.
“This is Taeyeon. My girlfriend.” He gently her hands with his thumb. They looked in each others eyes lovingly. My world stopped... My heart become to race faster in such a speed i couldn’t describe. Its like someone stab my heart... Why its so painful... Is it because Kai has a girlfriend... Then what about me... How? when? why? I don't no what to say but this is the worst feelings i had ever feel in my life... Believe me its like I’m dying from inside. I don’t no what to do but i couldn’t show Kai how i feel at the moment... What he’ll think about me. He’ll hate me forever if i make a scene here. Good think they both are busy staring at each other to even give me a glance... My eyes went to Chanyeol who had the worried look in his face... I don’t no but if i didn’t leave now i’ll endup showing myself weak infront of kai and other people while exposing my feelings.
I abruptly standup and try to hide my face that isn’t happy from Kai and his... Girlfriend who both has their all attention on me at the moment.
“I remembered something and i've to go now... Bye.” I managed to say without stuttering and dashed out. I hear Kai shouted my name twice but i could careless. I should go somewhere where i could be all alone and cry my heart out.
I ran and ran where my feet take me. I endup in the valley and without thinking i slumped down on my knees and my tears fall like a river. The only think my heart pray was no one could hear my heartbreak cries.
My heart is aching so much and i couldn’t do anything about it but cry. Its even more hurtful then someone’s beating. I hope there’s someone who could ease my pain. I know i wasn’t not good enough for him but why i’m so heartbroken now... Taeyeon that girl is so pretty and what i’m? Just Jiyeon. A girl who no one give a second glance to. I know i’m not beautiful and all but does this world only accept pretty things. A perfect guy for perfect girl. Then what about peoples like me... Are we in this world for getting humiliation by them...
I’m so loud in my cries. I clutch where my heart is located... I try to press it harder in thought of easing the pain... I keep sobbing and my head began to ache in pain and even in such a cold night my body temperature is hot. More like my blood is hot but my body is numb from coldness... I’m feeling like vomiting. Who cries after eating so much... I guess i shouldn’t eat that much so it won’t be this bad now.
After hours of crying to the point my tears dried. I keep seating in the same place not knowing what to do but cry. Even i realized this is alley and its dangerous for a girl to stay here but why would someone care about me. I’m not pretty for peoples to look at me... Maybe they’ll feel disgust. Yet its better to be away and the case is i’m not ready to move. I closed my eyes... After crying which seems like a whole day i think my heart pain has reduced.
I still freshly remembered when we met for the first time in the garden before two years... I was trying to play violin but failed miserably. Kai came to me and it felt like he knows how to play. He asked me to hand it to him and i did with no objection. He played so calmly and gently that i couldn’t say anything even comment about this... So i just keep listening. At that time Kai was just an ordinary kid like everyone at his age. He always put others before himself so no wonder if everyone liked him. I too just liked him as a friend... Nothing more... We were good friends but not best... I don’t no when but suddenly one day i found out i had a feelings for him... I try to get rid of those feelings but everytime i see him i become selfish and liked him even more... I know it was one sided love yet i hoped a little bit that he would feel the same way towards me... Yet it all get vanished. Me ending up in my own painfultears.
I smiled bitter sweet remembering about that... What could i do anyway... My love won’t be completed or maybe he wasn't the guy for me in the first place.
Suddenly something drop on my face. I didn’t bother to open my eyes as i feel so weak at the moment. Again something fall.
I weakly opened my eyes. The snowflakes... They’re falling. My eyes sparkled at the beautiful view. My tear stain face is so cold, my teeth are beating each other and i'm not feeling my body. I guess its not all bad day hmm.
I closed my eyes again... Hoping to die in this cold so i don’t have to face the painful reality. My eyes were closed feeling the breeze ticking my face resulting me shiver uncontrolly. At this point i felt like everything is going to end. It’s 1:22 am... Nobody should be outside at this time in such a weather. Everything become to blur in my eyes. I smile or atleast try because its seriously so hard to move my face muscles.
“Omg what’re you doing here. Come on lets go...” i think i know this voice belong to who but as weak as i was i didn’t move an inch because i don’t want to, who ever is my savour i already hate him for taking my forever freedom away. That guy wrapped me in warm fabric. Ouh its feel so good... I love this warm feelings. I feel the guy lift me up in bridal style and placed me in his car or whatever because i can’t see or think properly. After that i feel he start and drive the whatever it is. It was hard to keep open my eyes so my eyes slowly closed itself making me numb from any feeling...
I stirred in my sleep. Ah why my body hurt so much... Yet i tried my best to open my eyes and stare at the familiar room. No, its not my room... Its belong to kai... So he came to me last night but how come he was out at this hour and to that place... This is so not like Kai... He never walk out from his house after 12 am. Whatever maybe he... Argh what i’m talking about... I Proberly know I'm making myself to believe this...
The door knocked softly twice and i stare at it. Finally it opened and Kai was there struggling with tray and the door. That was funny, i know I’m suppose to help him instead of laughing but i couldn’t help myself... maybe this was the reason i fall in love with him.
When i stop thinking then i saw kai’s hand on his hips while glaring at me. I know he want an explanation.
“So how are you feeling? Good? I see because you're laughing too. Was it that funny.” he sighed and came to sit on the chair. I smiled he’s still the same guy but it hit me... He have his girlfriend... What I’m doing here in his room. I should leave as soon as possible.
“What were you doing outside at that time? You could’ve died if it weren’t your Chanyeol friend.” Why i feel hint of sarcasm from him when he said Chanyeol. Is it me or kai is bothered with Chanyeol... And chanyeol was the one who save me... I don’t believe this... I’ve to ask again for confirmation.
“So Chanyeol saved me? Wasn’t it you?” i asked with a hope it was kai.
Kai looked at me annoyed. “Yeah it was him... He called me with your phone and i give him address of my house.” He softly replied.
I nodded. This ruined my mood. He wasn’t there for me, it was Chanyeol.
“I ask you to come last day at the mall because i wanted you to meet my girlfriend. I just ask her yesterday to go out with me.” He excitedly chirpped out of the blue. I give him the kind smile which comeout good. He didn’t suspect on anything. But i’ve to put up on act so he won’t think much. I pouted.
“Yah... You’re so happy good then but why you make me wait for hours in the cold you freak? You should’ve told me you’ll be late but no, you wanted me to wait in the cold until i don’t die... Really Kai really...”
He burst out in laugher which means he don’t suspect anything... I’m good in acting. I admitted to myself proudly.
Its been three months and nothing changed. The only thing that changed is that before i use to spend my free time with Kai but now i spend it with Chanyeol. He’s funny and cute also gentleman, well only with female he’s kind but when he’s with his male friends believe me he’s like some gangster or wild person. Which explain he’s not good with Kai nor Kai like him. Infact i think kai hate him. They both don’t like each other. But Kai is really too much, i mean Chanyeol is just being himself but Kai he never began fight with anyone except Chanyeol. I don’t understand nor i want to understand. I’m keeping my distance from Kai... So i could move on. I mean i’ve to whether i like it or not and its not like Taeyeon isn’t good person... She’s kind and understanding person so i really don’t mind her being the lucky girl. She even become my friend and help me in many things. Once a girl was shouting at me because i spilled my coffe on her shirt mistakenly. It appeared Taeyeon was there as well so she stop the girl and take me away. She deserve to be his girlfriend. Did i mention Chanyeol know about my feelings towards Kai... I told him everything after the incident that i almost freeze to death that night.
“Jiyeon are you coming or what?” Chanyeol roared from the car.
“Yeah yeah hold on, I’m coming wait a minute.” I told him and ran while getting my purse.
We drive to where Chanyeol asked me to accompany him. It was a long ride. Until finally we reach to the destination. I looked weirdly towards Chanyeol who grinned from ear to ear. I wanted to ask but he dragged me inside the... Night club. Its already 6 pm but i trust Chanyeol. He won’t make me to accompany him in such a place then leave me. Yet i feel a little insecure because everyone seems like animal and... Disturbing for my eyes. Like chanyeol feel my discomfort he hold my hand and take me inside. I try to avoid everyone with my head hung low.
When i was being dragged by Chanyeol someone accidently push me make me loose my balance. Chanyeol looked behind and helped me by pushing those bunch of boys and girls from my way. My eyes went to the figure that was sitting in the chair on bar staring right at me in the eyes. I widened my eyes. Everything in my eyes move in slowmotion. The loud bursting music, peoples dancing bodies, clicking of glasses which contain alcohol. Everything was in slowmotion until i was out of crowed with Chanyeol’s help. Then i realize the figure is storming to me. I believe this won’t end peacefully today.
The guy came snatched my wrist from Chanyeol’s, i moaned in pain. Chanyeol looked and he glared at the guy.
“What’s wrong with you? You hurting her.” Chanyeol asked eyes fixed at the guy while trying to release my wrist from him.
“Damn you Park Chanyeol! You befriend her to bring her in such a place. How dare you thought its so easy to get her.” The guy who’s no other then Kai burst out. Then i saw Kai’s fist flow to Chanyeol’s jaw making him to bent down in pain.
“KAI STOP IT!! ITS NOT LIKE WHAT YOU THINK!” I shouted at Kai to stop him and went to Chanyeol who was grabbing his jaw in pain frowning eyebrows.
Before i could check his jaw or say something Chanyeol was fast and he kicked Kai in the stomach. My eyes widened, its scary to see them fight like this... The people stand a side while some try to stop them. My tears threatened to fall. I know what I’m doing right now might hurt kai but Chanyeol is totally innocent here.
I went to Chanyeol making him to look at me and that’s when he calm down. Then i stare at Kai who’s eyes widened.
“What do you think you’re doing? Don’t you dare to take a hand on someone when you don’t no what’s happening.”I'm so mad at him right now, what did Chanyeol did to deserve this. He just ask a help. When i needed someone beside me when Kai and Taeyeon began dating he was with me and now when he needed someone I’ll stand beside him.
Kai scoffed angrily with bitterness. “So it that how close you guys are that you choose that guy over your best friend. Seriously do you even know his motivate of making you come here. He might wanted you to get drunk and take advantage.” Kai bitterly stated while glaring at Chanyeol. The crowed stopped looking at us and started to do whatever they were doing before.
Chanyeol jaw dropped at his word and now when he think again that would be true but atleast not for himself. He’s not this kind of person. He smiled softly knowing the real reason of kai’s hateness towards himself after a long time.
My eyes filled with anger. Now he dare to accuse Chanyeol. When i was going to snap at Kai Chanyeol tap my shoulder. I turned to him but instead got a surprise looking at him smiling so brightly. Then his gaze went to Kai who seem boiling in anger as well. Now I’m so confused. Why he’s smiling like a creep when its tensed atmosphere.
He cleared his throat. I give him my full focus yet before that i take a look at Kai who had a disappointment, sad and anger mixed look. For a while i’m thinking if i did good taking Chanyeol’s side on him...
Chanyeol coughed and began. “Kai... I don’t no what to say but you sure had strong knuckles. Anyway i can approve you i don’t want to do anything inappropriate with her... You know i asked her to accompany me because...”
He paused to read Kai’s eyes but its still filled with anger. “Because of my girlfriend.”
Just when he finished his sentence kai eyes were almost popping out. He still doubt if Chanyeol is telling the truth. He could lie and why would he want her to accompany him when he’s going to meet his girlfriend and why in such a place.
“My girlfriend is mad at me for three months... She has to go to other country as requested by her parents. Last time when we were talking before she could go... I just said if she leave me I’ll stop loving her. Then we argued and she left. After that i couldn’t meet her at airport because i didn’t sleep and kept on walking until i meet Jiyeon on valley and call you... Now that my girlfriend finally come, i’m afraid to face her alone. I needed some help from Jiyeon. Yeah my girlfriend is mad so i know she came here to drink... Is that explain everything?”
Kai guilty held his head down with shame. How could he not.
I smiled at Chanyeol then went to Kai. Without wasting a moment i hugged him, a friendly one. Not wanting a more skinship i pulled back and patted his back.
Kai was staring at Chanyeol so i turn my head to look at Chanyeol too but he had wide eyes sparkling and he was staring at somewhere else. Me and Kai darted our eyes where he was staring and then i know what’s happening, he showed me his girlfriend photo before when we first time met in mall so i know her. But i guess kai was confused and i whispered in his ears for him to know.
“You... When i saw before i while i thought you cheat on me but hearing the story i guess... You didn’t and it doesn’t mean i forgive you. Not easily.”
“Jessica i can explain please... I was desperate for you to not leave...”
I and kai smiled at each other and leave the place. Giving the couples times to understand each other.
When we were in his car, he looked at me. I raised eyebrow at him.
“I have something to say. Please listen... Don’t talk before i finish okay.” I nodded and he take a deep sigh.
“I breakup with Taeyeon... No no not me but we broke up. Its because she loved other guy while i someone else...” He muttered.
Okay now he’s confusing me. Does he like other girl or what’s the problem. And why did Taeyeon leave him.
“I... I-i love you..” he shyly looked at me.
Okay now i’m beyond confuse. Why would he suddenly love me. Ofcourse he just lost his mind and that’s all he needed to rest. Again i smiled bitterly.
“You’re not okay lets go... You’re tired and exhausted after Chanyeo’s kick. Comeon lets go.” I totally ignored him because i know he’s not in the right mind so he’ll Proberly gonna say it again and plus i don’t want to give myself false hope.
I felt a harsh grip on the side of my face and the next thing i know i was kissing him back. I don’t no what to feel... he was harsh but i felt excited and nervous yet disappointment. Disappointment because it was harsh... I wanted him to kiss me gently if that ever happened. After a while he pulled back. I don’t no what to say so i awkwardly looked down on my fingers.
“I know its out of everything but i fall in love with you when i saw you with Chanyeol... Normally you don’t hang around guys so i don’t no... I got mad and each time i would see him all i think to get my anger on him... The fact is Taeyeon was no different. We’re more like best friends. We had a fun as friends not like couples... She liked some guy from our school named Chen yet we tried to make it work then eventually we both gaveup and today and i was going to confess but got mad when i saw you with Chanyeol... I’m sorry but i don’t mind to wait if you need time... I’ll give you as much as you want or better i can make you fall in love with me.” He explained everything.
Honestly i couldn’t be more then happy at the moment. “You’re stuped,” i began and just as i said it i can see the disappoint eyes of his. I smiled before saying it.
“I love you too... For maybe a year or half... But you’re blind to know that...”
Kai expression was really something that i couldn’t explain, its priceless. He smiled and this time he leaned in and this was the best kiss of my life... I guess he didn’t give me my first kiss but he atleast give me the best kiss and worst kiss. I giggled at the thought. When he harshly kissed me, i admit it was the worse but again the second kiss was the best kiss ever.
There our love bloom.... Afterall i didn’t done anything... He come to me by himself even when he don’t no my feelings towards him...
I was waiting at the park with my hands tightly inside my jacket. Its so cold Afterall. I can hear peoples laughter and everyone has a partner today but where’s mine. I guess i can’t do anything but wait. My stomach growled.
Okay now I’m hungry... It won’t be a big deal if i eat something right now... I mean its not my fault that guy told me to meet here.
I standup from the bench and i feel so cold mostly on mynose. I rushed to one of the food stalls and asked the man to give me spicy rice cake. The man smiled a little before doing his work. I finished it in no time.
Again i endup in the waiting place. My body wasn’t feeling so cold after eating spicy rice cake... Its the first day of year, he told me we’ll meet here by 5pm and now its 7:49 pm... I’m so angry with him now and no... If you think i’ll wait for him anymore then a big no... Why should i even wait for this nonsense guy.
My eyes fell on the mall that was a few meters away. I smiled and walked towards it without thinking twice.
I made my way to one of the chairs and sit. Now you’re asking why i come here? Seriously i don’t no myself. After doing nothing for fifteen minutes, i thought to eat something... Again. I mean what else could i do. I’m not in mood of shopping in such a cold weather so food it is.
I order some fries and and burger munching on them happily. After throwing the trash in bin i thought to walk around.
I was walking without looking infront. My head down with very slow steps. Why would i walk faster... I mean i’m not in rush right.
“OKAY I’LL BE BACK RIGHT NOW!!”
I heard someone’s voice. Seriously why this person is shouting. I didn’t bother and kept my head down.
In next second i don’t no what happened or how it happened. All i know is i’m down with someone else body beside my mine. I try to move my head that hit the floor. I was feeling dizzy until the person who bumped me immediately checked my head. Woah his hands are warm.
“Are you okay? I’m so sorry i was in rush... Did you get hurt anywhere?” He asked worriedly while helping me getting up from the floor.
“Yeah i think just a little bit headache...” I muttered. Normally i would teach the person who bumped into me a lesson. But this guy isn’t rude like them... He's helping me as well.
He take me to the benches and i stare at his face for a while... He’s handsome and tall... A slim body with his hair like a mushroom.
“My name is Chanyeol. Sorry i was in rush so i bumped in you mistakenly.” he mumbled.
I smiled. “My name is Jiyeon. You can go I’m fine now... You’re in rush right? So go and finish it.” I politely asked him to go.
He laughed a light one before shaking his head a little. “I guess its too late now... I just wanted to apologize from the girl but she was mad and didn’t bother to listen... So when i bumped you... After that i try to search her figure but it was gone so i might as well help you because i was the one who make you fall...” So he was chasing someone. I feel sorry for him though even if he didn’t say how he’s feeling i could see the sadness in his eyes.
Then i blurted out my thoughts. “Is she yourgirlfriend?”
~ * ~
Now i was here eating again with this Chanyeol guy. We went to Italian restaurant and he ordered me an expensive pizza even when i said it was okay but he said he don’t like to causetrouble for other’s and run. I guess this is sure a rich kid but he’s nice as well. Now i know not all rich people are same.
We were eating in silence... I mean what should we talk... We’re still strangers for each other...
I was full but the pizza was incredibly awesome that i couldn’t stop myself... I’m so gonna have stomach-ache because of this guy who introduced me to this amazing pizza. Why should he have to eat here from all the places.
I was trying to finish the last piece when i hear a familiar voice. Isn’t it’s him. I turn around to check who enter and my eyes widened. I stare at both figure until the guy eyes meet mine. He smiled brightly and came closer to my table. I didn’t move.
I should’ve greeted him but i’m shocked.
“You’re here. I’m sorry i asked you to come but i didn’t show myself then... I was dealing with her.” He show me the girl who was smiling. I really don’t want to believe what I’m thinking but I’m left with no choice but to confirm it.
“Ehem... Is there’s something wrong?” Chanyeol who just came after paying the bill asked. Why i feel it become so tensed when Chanyeol come... Its not good. I stand up hastily.
“Um Chanyeol... This is Kai my friend and Kai this is Chanyeol...” I stopped saying anything more because i don’t no what should i say about Chanyeol and i don't no about the girl that stand beside Kai. Wait is kai glaring at Chanyeol? I thought.
“Lets sit first okay... Then talk.” I hesitantly sit down following Chanyeol, Kai and that girl who I’m so curious to know.
“So... I want to announce something to you Jiyeon.” Kai told me. Why he feel like he’s mad... There’s something different in his eyes. I nodded and he continued.
“This is Taeyeon. My girlfriend.” He gently her hands with his thumb. They looked in each others eyes lovingly. My world stopped... My heart become to race faster in such a speed i couldn’t describe. Its like someone stab my heart... Why its so painful... Is it because Kai has a girlfriend... Then what about me... How? when? why? I don't no what to say but this is the worst feelings i had ever feel in my life... Believe me its like I’m dying from inside. I don’t no what to do but i couldn’t show Kai how i feel at the moment... What he’ll think about me. He’ll hate me forever if i make a scene here. Good think they both are busy staring at each other to even give me a glance... My eyes went to Chanyeol who had the worried look in his face... I don’t no but if i didn’t leave now i’ll endup showing myself weak infront of kai and other people while exposing my feelings.
I abruptly standup and try to hide my face that isn’t happy from Kai and his... Girlfriend who both has their all attention on me at the moment.
“I remembered something and i've to go now... Bye.” I managed to say without stuttering and dashed out. I hear Kai shouted my name twice but i could careless. I should go somewhere where i could be all alone and cry my heart out.
I ran and ran where my feet take me. I endup in the valley and without thinking i slumped down on my knees and my tears fall like a river. The only think my heart pray was no one could hear my heartbreak cries.
My heart is aching so much and i couldn’t do anything about it but cry. Its even more hurtful then someone’s beating. I hope there’s someone who could ease my pain. I know i wasn’t not good enough for him but why i’m so heartbroken now... Taeyeon that girl is so pretty and what i’m? Just Jiyeon. A girl who no one give a second glance to. I know i’m not beautiful and all but does this world only accept pretty things. A perfect guy for perfect girl. Then what about peoples like me... Are we in this world for getting humiliation by them...
I’m so loud in my cries. I clutch where my heart is located... I try to press it harder in thought of easing the pain... I keep sobbing and my head began to ache in pain and even in such a cold night my body temperature is hot. More like my blood is hot but my body is numb from coldness... I’m feeling like vomiting. Who cries after eating so much... I guess i shouldn’t eat that much so it won’t be this bad now.
After hours of crying to the point my tears dried. I keep seating in the same place not knowing what to do but cry. Even i realized this is alley and its dangerous for a girl to stay here but why would someone care about me. I’m not pretty for peoples to look at me... Maybe they’ll feel disgust. Yet its better to be away and the case is i’m not ready to move. I closed my eyes... After crying which seems like a whole day i think my heart pain has reduced.
I still freshly remembered when we met for the first time in the garden before two years... I was trying to play violin but failed miserably. Kai came to me and it felt like he knows how to play. He asked me to hand it to him and i did with no objection. He played so calmly and gently that i couldn’t say anything even comment about this... So i just keep listening. At that time Kai was just an ordinary kid like everyone at his age. He always put others before himself so no wonder if everyone liked him. I too just liked him as a friend... Nothing more... We were good friends but not best... I don’t no when but suddenly one day i found out i had a feelings for him... I try to get rid of those feelings but everytime i see him i become selfish and liked him even more... I know it was one sided love yet i hoped a little bit that he would feel the same way towards me... Yet it all get vanished. Me ending up in my own painfultears.
I smiled bitter sweet remembering about that... What could i do anyway... My love won’t be completed or maybe he wasn't the guy for me in the first place.
Suddenly something drop on my face. I didn’t bother to open my eyes as i feel so weak at the moment. Again something fall.
I weakly opened my eyes. The snowflakes... They’re falling. My eyes sparkled at the beautiful view. My tear stain face is so cold, my teeth are beating each other and i'm not feeling my body. I guess its not all bad day hmm.
I closed my eyes again... Hoping to die in this cold so i don’t have to face the painful reality. My eyes were closed feeling the breeze ticking my face resulting me shiver uncontrolly. At this point i felt like everything is going to end. It’s 1:22 am... Nobody should be outside at this time in such a weather. Everything become to blur in my eyes. I smile or atleast try because its seriously so hard to move my face muscles.
“Omg what’re you doing here. Come on lets go...” i think i know this voice belong to who but as weak as i was i didn’t move an inch because i don’t want to, who ever is my savour i already hate him for taking my forever freedom away. That guy wrapped me in warm fabric. Ouh its feel so good... I love this warm feelings. I feel the guy lift me up in bridal style and placed me in his car or whatever because i can’t see or think properly. After that i feel he start and drive the whatever it is. It was hard to keep open my eyes so my eyes slowly closed itself making me numb from any feeling...
~ * ~
I stirred in my sleep. Ah why my body hurt so much... Yet i tried my best to open my eyes and stare at the familiar room. No, its not my room... Its belong to kai... So he came to me last night but how come he was out at this hour and to that place... This is so not like Kai... He never walk out from his house after 12 am. Whatever maybe he... Argh what i’m talking about... I Proberly know I'm making myself to believe this...
The door knocked softly twice and i stare at it. Finally it opened and Kai was there struggling with tray and the door. That was funny, i know I’m suppose to help him instead of laughing but i couldn’t help myself... maybe this was the reason i fall in love with him.
When i stop thinking then i saw kai’s hand on his hips while glaring at me. I know he want an explanation.
“So how are you feeling? Good? I see because you're laughing too. Was it that funny.” he sighed and came to sit on the chair. I smiled he’s still the same guy but it hit me... He have his girlfriend... What I’m doing here in his room. I should leave as soon as possible.
“What were you doing outside at that time? You could’ve died if it weren’t your Chanyeol friend.” Why i feel hint of sarcasm from him when he said Chanyeol. Is it me or kai is bothered with Chanyeol... And chanyeol was the one who save me... I don’t believe this... I’ve to ask again for confirmation.
“So Chanyeol saved me? Wasn’t it you?” i asked with a hope it was kai.
Kai looked at me annoyed. “Yeah it was him... He called me with your phone and i give him address of my house.” He softly replied.
I nodded. This ruined my mood. He wasn’t there for me, it was Chanyeol.
“I ask you to come last day at the mall because i wanted you to meet my girlfriend. I just ask her yesterday to go out with me.” He excitedly chirpped out of the blue. I give him the kind smile which comeout good. He didn’t suspect on anything. But i’ve to put up on act so he won’t think much. I pouted.
“Yah... You’re so happy good then but why you make me wait for hours in the cold you freak? You should’ve told me you’ll be late but no, you wanted me to wait in the cold until i don’t die... Really Kai really...”
He burst out in laugher which means he don’t suspect anything... I’m good in acting. I admitted to myself proudly.
~ * ~
Its been three months and nothing changed. The only thing that changed is that before i use to spend my free time with Kai but now i spend it with Chanyeol. He’s funny and cute also gentleman, well only with female he’s kind but when he’s with his male friends believe me he’s like some gangster or wild person. Which explain he’s not good with Kai nor Kai like him. Infact i think kai hate him. They both don’t like each other. But Kai is really too much, i mean Chanyeol is just being himself but Kai he never began fight with anyone except Chanyeol. I don’t understand nor i want to understand. I’m keeping my distance from Kai... So i could move on. I mean i’ve to whether i like it or not and its not like Taeyeon isn’t good person... She’s kind and understanding person so i really don’t mind her being the lucky girl. She even become my friend and help me in many things. Once a girl was shouting at me because i spilled my coffe on her shirt mistakenly. It appeared Taeyeon was there as well so she stop the girl and take me away. She deserve to be his girlfriend. Did i mention Chanyeol know about my feelings towards Kai... I told him everything after the incident that i almost freeze to death that night.
“Jiyeon are you coming or what?” Chanyeol roared from the car.
“Yeah yeah hold on, I’m coming wait a minute.” I told him and ran while getting my purse.
We drive to where Chanyeol asked me to accompany him. It was a long ride. Until finally we reach to the destination. I looked weirdly towards Chanyeol who grinned from ear to ear. I wanted to ask but he dragged me inside the... Night club. Its already 6 pm but i trust Chanyeol. He won’t make me to accompany him in such a place then leave me. Yet i feel a little insecure because everyone seems like animal and... Disturbing for my eyes. Like chanyeol feel my discomfort he hold my hand and take me inside. I try to avoid everyone with my head hung low.
When i was being dragged by Chanyeol someone accidently push me make me loose my balance. Chanyeol looked behind and helped me by pushing those bunch of boys and girls from my way. My eyes went to the figure that was sitting in the chair on bar staring right at me in the eyes. I widened my eyes. Everything in my eyes move in slowmotion. The loud bursting music, peoples dancing bodies, clicking of glasses which contain alcohol. Everything was in slowmotion until i was out of crowed with Chanyeol’s help. Then i realize the figure is storming to me. I believe this won’t end peacefully today.
The guy came snatched my wrist from Chanyeol’s, i moaned in pain. Chanyeol looked and he glared at the guy.
“What’s wrong with you? You hurting her.” Chanyeol asked eyes fixed at the guy while trying to release my wrist from him.
“Damn you Park Chanyeol! You befriend her to bring her in such a place. How dare you thought its so easy to get her.” The guy who’s no other then Kai burst out. Then i saw Kai’s fist flow to Chanyeol’s jaw making him to bent down in pain.
“KAI STOP IT!! ITS NOT LIKE WHAT YOU THINK!” I shouted at Kai to stop him and went to Chanyeol who was grabbing his jaw in pain frowning eyebrows.
Before i could check his jaw or say something Chanyeol was fast and he kicked Kai in the stomach. My eyes widened, its scary to see them fight like this... The people stand a side while some try to stop them. My tears threatened to fall. I know what I’m doing right now might hurt kai but Chanyeol is totally innocent here.
I went to Chanyeol making him to look at me and that’s when he calm down. Then i stare at Kai who’s eyes widened.
“What do you think you’re doing? Don’t you dare to take a hand on someone when you don’t no what’s happening.”I'm so mad at him right now, what did Chanyeol did to deserve this. He just ask a help. When i needed someone beside me when Kai and Taeyeon began dating he was with me and now when he needed someone I’ll stand beside him.
Kai scoffed angrily with bitterness. “So it that how close you guys are that you choose that guy over your best friend. Seriously do you even know his motivate of making you come here. He might wanted you to get drunk and take advantage.” Kai bitterly stated while glaring at Chanyeol. The crowed stopped looking at us and started to do whatever they were doing before.
Chanyeol jaw dropped at his word and now when he think again that would be true but atleast not for himself. He’s not this kind of person. He smiled softly knowing the real reason of kai’s hateness towards himself after a long time.
My eyes filled with anger. Now he dare to accuse Chanyeol. When i was going to snap at Kai Chanyeol tap my shoulder. I turned to him but instead got a surprise looking at him smiling so brightly. Then his gaze went to Kai who seem boiling in anger as well. Now I’m so confused. Why he’s smiling like a creep when its tensed atmosphere.
He cleared his throat. I give him my full focus yet before that i take a look at Kai who had a disappointment, sad and anger mixed look. For a while i’m thinking if i did good taking Chanyeol’s side on him...
Chanyeol coughed and began. “Kai... I don’t no what to say but you sure had strong knuckles. Anyway i can approve you i don’t want to do anything inappropriate with her... You know i asked her to accompany me because...”
He paused to read Kai’s eyes but its still filled with anger. “Because of my girlfriend.”
Just when he finished his sentence kai eyes were almost popping out. He still doubt if Chanyeol is telling the truth. He could lie and why would he want her to accompany him when he’s going to meet his girlfriend and why in such a place.
“My girlfriend is mad at me for three months... She has to go to other country as requested by her parents. Last time when we were talking before she could go... I just said if she leave me I’ll stop loving her. Then we argued and she left. After that i couldn’t meet her at airport because i didn’t sleep and kept on walking until i meet Jiyeon on valley and call you... Now that my girlfriend finally come, i’m afraid to face her alone. I needed some help from Jiyeon. Yeah my girlfriend is mad so i know she came here to drink... Is that explain everything?”
Kai guilty held his head down with shame. How could he not.
I smiled at Chanyeol then went to Kai. Without wasting a moment i hugged him, a friendly one. Not wanting a more skinship i pulled back and patted his back.
Kai was staring at Chanyeol so i turn my head to look at Chanyeol too but he had wide eyes sparkling and he was staring at somewhere else. Me and Kai darted our eyes where he was staring and then i know what’s happening, he showed me his girlfriend photo before when we first time met in mall so i know her. But i guess kai was confused and i whispered in his ears for him to know.
“You... When i saw before i while i thought you cheat on me but hearing the story i guess... You didn’t and it doesn’t mean i forgive you. Not easily.”
“Jessica i can explain please... I was desperate for you to not leave...”
I and kai smiled at each other and leave the place. Giving the couples times to understand each other.
When we were in his car, he looked at me. I raised eyebrow at him.
“I have something to say. Please listen... Don’t talk before i finish okay.” I nodded and he take a deep sigh.
“I breakup with Taeyeon... No no not me but we broke up. Its because she loved other guy while i someone else...” He muttered.
Okay now he’s confusing me. Does he like other girl or what’s the problem. And why did Taeyeon leave him.
“I... I-i love you..” he shyly looked at me.
Okay now i’m beyond confuse. Why would he suddenly love me. Ofcourse he just lost his mind and that’s all he needed to rest. Again i smiled bitterly.
“You’re not okay lets go... You’re tired and exhausted after Chanyeo’s kick. Comeon lets go.” I totally ignored him because i know he’s not in the right mind so he’ll Proberly gonna say it again and plus i don’t want to give myself false hope.
I felt a harsh grip on the side of my face and the next thing i know i was kissing him back. I don’t no what to feel... he was harsh but i felt excited and nervous yet disappointment. Disappointment because it was harsh... I wanted him to kiss me gently if that ever happened. After a while he pulled back. I don’t no what to say so i awkwardly looked down on my fingers.
“I know its out of everything but i fall in love with you when i saw you with Chanyeol... Normally you don’t hang around guys so i don’t no... I got mad and each time i would see him all i think to get my anger on him... The fact is Taeyeon was no different. We’re more like best friends. We had a fun as friends not like couples... She liked some guy from our school named Chen yet we tried to make it work then eventually we both gaveup and today and i was going to confess but got mad when i saw you with Chanyeol... I’m sorry but i don’t mind to wait if you need time... I’ll give you as much as you want or better i can make you fall in love with me.” He explained everything.
Honestly i couldn’t be more then happy at the moment. “You’re stuped,” i began and just as i said it i can see the disappoint eyes of his. I smiled before saying it.
“I love you too... For maybe a year or half... But you’re blind to know that...”
Kai expression was really something that i couldn’t explain, its priceless. He smiled and this time he leaned in and this was the best kiss of my life... I guess he didn’t give me my first kiss but he atleast give me the best kiss and worst kiss. I giggled at the thought. When he harshly kissed me, i admit it was the worse but again the second kiss was the best kiss ever.
There our love bloom.... Afterall i didn’t done anything... He come to me by himself even when he don’t no my feelings towards him...
THE END
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