Irene sat alone in a café near the company. She had her hood up to cover her face, but she didn’t care if anyone saw her. She watched as droplets of rain slid down the shop’s windows. Irene was stuck. The company’s plan was in motion.

To say that she was sad was the understatement of the year. She was in anguish, and yet she could only imagine how Wendy, her Seungwan felt.

It was already three days after that terrible night, and she could still see Wendy’s questioning eyes, that terrible night in which she had broken Wendy’s heart. Time seemed to be moving faster than it ever had before.  What a villain she must seem to everyone, including herself.

The choice she made was not really a choice. She remembered bits and pieces of the conversations she’d had with company leaders before Wendy even knew. She was promised a lifetime of shame for herself. This she could have handled, but then they’d brought her family into it.

She felt tempted to tell them all to go to hell because she remembered the rough visit she’d made Wendy endure to her childhood home and her parent’s not so subtle hints that they didn’t approve of her and Wendy’s relationship, even so she held back.

And then they’d threatened Wendy. Deplorable threats that Bae Joohyun despised hearing. This was the final straw and Irene agreed to go along with their plan.

So the choice was not really a choice she’d wanted to make, more of a forced choice, an order. She still thought herself weak for going along with the threats, but she didn’t want to find out if they were real or not. She was told to keep quiet for the group’s sake. What a joke. She would have to endure the plans they’d made if she was ever going to get Wendy back. She wasn’t even sure that Wendy would take her back. She must have looked like a traitor. She planned on fulfilling her new required duties, and then spending a lifetime crawling on her hands and knees to win Wendy back. To make Wendy fall in love with her again.

Irene remembered one of the moments where  she’d slowly begun to fall in love with Wendy:

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It was a Wednesday after the girls had prepared all night for a music show. The four of them half walked/half crawled to their van to head to the recording.

Usually Irene sat in the very front seat, but today Seulgi called it first and Joy was slumped in the next seat taking up all the space, she was already fast asleep. Wendy and Irene found themselves together in the back, the coldest part of the van. After a few minutes Irene seemed to unconsciously take this a chance to get closer to Wendy, and she began to whine and complain about how cold she was, and with Seulgi and Joy wilting in exhaustion, her complaints were only heard by Wendy…

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“Wendy…” Irene said in a low voice still tinged with annoyance, “help your Unnie get warm.”

Wendy laughed lightly at Irene’s pouting face, “Honestly Unnie, shouldn’t you be getting me warm? I’m not used to you acting this way.” Wendy scooted toward Irene and gently took her hands with her own.

Wendy rubbed her hands together with Irene’s, “You are really cold, may I try something?” Wendy’s face seemed innocent but her voice seemed sly.

Irene nodded.

Wendy began to move Irene’s hands towards , and started blowing hot air between her lips and onto Irene’s frozen fingers.

“Is this helping, Unnie? I want to try something else.” Wendy’s eyes were dark, darker than Irene had ever seen them.

Wendy’s mouth began to move so close to Irene’s hands that her lips constantly brushed against her fingers. “Is she kissing me?” Irene thought to herself.  

She wanted Wendy to keep doing this, whatever it was. Then she wondered if Wendy knew what she was doing. It seemed like it. But hadn’t she asked for help to keep warm? Was this just Wendy trying to help?

Wendy continued to kiss Irene’s hands, even moved toward the sensitive finger pads. She used the tip of her tongue to brush over Irene’s fingerprints. Wendy was kissing her hands, wasn’t she? Irene felt a jolt to her senses when she realized that she liked what Wendy was doing.

“Don’t stop, Seungwan,” she heard herself whisper.

Irene was stunned with the thoughts she’d said aloud, tried to pull her hands away, but Wendy had a tight grasp on them…

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“Don’t stop what, Unnie?  You’re hands are cold, want me to warm them up for you?”

“Haven’t you already been doing that, Wendy?”

“Bae Joohyun, you’ve been asleep and you suddenly grabbed by hands, are you okay?” Irene nodded her head in agreement. When had she fallen asleep?

“What were you dreaming of?” Wendy asked.

You. You and your beautiful lips. “Oh, I’m not sure,” she answered, “it’s all a blur.” Irene lied.

Wendy smiled. “It’s still cold back here, let’s keep each other warm. I’m going to keep holding your hands, is that okay?”

Irene smiled back, nodded once. Inside she was a mess of emotions

What was this feeling? Happiness that what she’d just experienced was a dream, or disappointment that it wasn’t real?

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Irene had meant to ask Wendy if those moments in the van really were real, but she hadn’t gotten a chance. Had she really been dreaming that day? Why had she only remembered that in this moment? That was the beginngin of her love of Son Seungwan. Irene’s happiness was nowhere to be found though, and she was now left with bitter disappointment.  Wendy, whose lips she craved, who she wanted so desperately to hold. Wendy, so unaware that Irene’s feelings were more real now than ever. If only she could tell her. Wendy: her happiness.

Just then, as her mind’s eye was studying Wendy, Irene heard the bell on the café door jingle, and in walked a very handsome man. He glanced around the place and seeing that there was just one person seated, his eyes landed on that beautiful girl next to the rain-drenched window. Irene put on a brave face and waved him over. She took down her hood and stood up.

“Hi.” The man slightly waved.

She smiled and put her hand out.

The man smiled in return, took her hand and shook it, “Thanks for meeting me here,” he said, “I wasn’t sure if you liked coffee, they told me to pick someplace close.”

“Coffee’s fine, don’t worry,” Irene laughed lightly, fakely.

“I’m really sorry about this, but what’s your name? They didn’t tell me who I would be meeting. I’m glad it’s just you here.” He looked around and then smiled apologetically.

“Oh, I’m Irene, the company didn’t tell me who I would be meeting either. ” she said, “You must be my date?”