#04

Jackson enjoys the atmosphere of the house, whenever all of them together whether just to rest or chat, but he enjoys it more when the song Mamma Mia being played and there she is, dancing full of passion and never lost her charm. He always thinks of her as a bright girl, and she’d be the brightest at that time.

He will gladly watch of how her face is a mixture of pure bliss and energy—and he will note to remind himself about that expression whenever he performs.

That is the expression of performance, and as a performer himself, Jackson thinks he should do it too.

“Youngji is the most beautiful when she sings and dances.” He is used to listening to them compliment her, today Jang Ok, the other day Joon Hyung.

“I love singing and dancing the most.”

And he will never forget that.

#03

Jackson feels excited whenever the day of shooting is coming, but he always gets more excited when he creates a fuss and never ending banter unavoidably occurs to both of them. Jackson may look ignorant, but deep inside he wonders continuously of how the smallest thing could give them full source of fighting’s topic. Dongwook would amuse too and threaten them many kind of dangerous treats if they continue bickering, but like usual, that doesn’t stop them repeating in the future.

“Let’s fight. Let’s fight often.” He mischievously offered her one-of-a-kind-deal, as if provoking their favorite sunbae more.

“Okay.”

And his smile becomes wider as seeing her smiling all widely.

#04

Jackson admits he is easy to be jealous because basically he is an attention seeker, but he becomes more jealous whenever she’s on the spotlight. It’s like he is being greedy of the house members’ affection yet at the same time her special ability is only visible for him.

He watched her doing some cute movements at the market, and Jackson couldn’t stop but worrying inside of how cute she actually is.

Or maybe he just wants to emphasize the existence of them; whenever she’s around, he’s around.

“Youngji is so excited to meet you.”

“Yes, I’m fan of g.o.d sunbaenim.”

The strike of jealousy came naturally and he couldn’t avoid to steal the (her) spotlight again.

“I’m fan of g.o.d too!”

#09

Jackson likes to tease the house members—like he stated the obvious that ‘Yoona sunbaenim is tall’ just to rage Sunny, but he likes to more. He likes pretending to scowl her and ends up laughing at her guilty expression because she worries about the others easily. He likes making her a little bit upset or frustrated, because only on that way he can make her open up about herself more.

“Youngji-ah, if I ask you to make three animal impersonations, are you gonna do it?”

“No.”

And he has a strong certitude that she will do it anyway—which is true.

#09

Jackson hates seeing whenever someone in the house crying or sad, once Gookju’s story was heartbreaking for him, but he hates more witnessing how her face hardened to hold herself from bawling. He didn’t quite catch what was the feeling inside when her usual sparkling eyes turned red and watery, her soundless laugh became muffles while hiding her tears.

He knows everyone is capable of crying, but he doesn’t expect his heart would ache that much looking on her stuttering the words between her sobs.

“You must like Hara unnie so much, right Youngji-ah?” Dongwook always has a word to explain her act. “Why? Why? You are crying because you like me so much, Jackson-ah?”

And he just has to do something to ease her sadness.

#11

Jackson loves skinship very much to the point he’s doing it without his consciousness. He enjoys being together with people and he expresses it through the affection of patting, holding hands, or hugging the ones around him. But then he loves it more when her nice body on his arms—although just for a brief seconds, and he thinks hugging her is addicting.

He loves how the palm of their hands can feel the same heat and how their fingers intertwined and fit perfectly to each other as they are holding hands. He loves to hold her hand alone, or when she holds his hand, alone.

They already patted each other—on shoulder, arm, back, chin—for more than one time, and that doesn’t stop him to muse how all of them give him a comfortable feeling whenever it happens.

“Hey, Youngji-ah,” Tapping on her shoulder.

“Ya, Jackson-ah!” Grabbing his left arm.

All of them Jackson loves for being repeated every day, and he sincerely wish for forever.

#13

Jackson was genuinely surprised when he took a glance and there she was, crying as hard as he was and the sight warmed his already emotional heart.

And he thinks it’s nice to have person who has the ability to understand and share the exact feelings of another.

They met again after few days, a strange feeling still lingered around yet there’s kind of warmth in each other’s heart. It’s still a preparation before the shoot, and he found himself joining her sitting at the backyard—no camera’s on.

“I saw the broadcast.” Jackson opened up as playful grin on his face.

“You did?” She seemed surprised and he couldn’t really comprehend if that’s because of him suddenly beside her or the statement he had said.

“Yeah. You looked ugly when crying.”

He somewhat anticipated a light smack on his arm as usual, but she lets out a small smile instead.

“Yeah.”

Oh, this was awkward. And living with her until now, awkward was the last thing he felt whenever around her.

“Why did you cry though? You cried hard like there’s no tomorrow.”

He knew.

He knows why she cries.

“It’s just that,” It’s like suddenly her words was forced back to be swallowed.

He wouldn’t like this—not when she kept lowering her head and mumbling unclearly. He felt stupid to bring up the topic of their last broadcast.

“You, you are strong Jackson-ah.” She stuttered. “I never know that you are this strong.”

“I am.” What should I say? What should I say? “So don’t worry, Heo Youngji. Save your sympathy tears for something more worth later.”

He didn’t know exactly when, but his hand already rubbing the back of her shoulder softly. And he didn’t understand why his act seemed triggering more for her to quietly sob.

“Yah, don’t cry. I’m not crying anymore, why do you still cry?”

He gently her into a hug, but it didn’t seem right because honestly, it felt like he needed it more than her. He took her trembling body into his arms as palm repeatedly patted her back, calming her soundless cry.

Jackson loves hugging her, and maybe more than hugging, but for now, hugging is more than enough for them (him).

--

He realizes then, all the emotional feeling of his isn’t quite emotional if it doesn’t involve her. Maybe because of her.

Just because of Heo Youngji, Wang Jackson can feel some ‘more’ of standard human emotion.

***

new year blast everyone! honestly, I'm not ready to leave 2014, but if 2015 means more JackJi moments so yeah, I'm all board XD

and sorry to everyone, I think I failed this one /cries/