The thing about grief is that it’s a roller coaster – it’s up, it’s down. The emotions sometimes take over.

Brent ton

I.

Some days Yixing missed Luhan so much it felt like an ache in his side. Because life as an idol could really and sometimes Yixing just wanted to give up and go home and hide in his blankets like a kid. Luhan had made it okay. With little smiles and soft hands. He had reminded Yixing that tomorrow might be better then today. Without him Yixing didn’t see the point in getting up some days. And that should have scared him. It didn’t.

ii.

Luhan’s smile was like a sunrise. It happened slowly then all at once. Yixing would look away once and when he looked back it was there, lighting Luhan’s whole face and he was never quite sure when it happened but he just knew he was glad it did. Yixing was like a plant and Luhan was the sun and everybody knew plants can’t survive without the sun.  He wondered if he could survive without Luhan.

iii.

Yixing’s world was black and white and Luhan was his color. Yixing was tired of seeing shades of grey. And sometimes Yixing felt like a he was rolling down a hill, faster and faster. And he tried to hold on, hold on to Jongdae’s silly grin, Baekyeols antics, to the fans and the music but each and every one slid through his fingers and he just kept falling and he couldn’t do anything but wait for the bottom.