Sungjong was the first one to notice it. He was listening to Dongwoo and Myungsoo chatting about their clothes, the one on them for the current photo shoot. It was Howon’s turn so apart from whispering nonsense, they had nothing else to do.

He noticed Sunggyu sitting alone at a corner. Not that far from them actually. Something at the back of his mind was nagging him to a little discomfort, but Sungjong didn’t know what. Thus why his eyes flickered away from the way Sunggyu tiredly leaned against his chair and the, what seemed like, a staring contest between the eldest and the phone in his palms.

However when Howon returned and took the bottle of plain water he offered after pretending to elbow Myungsoo who said Howon modeled like a stone by the roadside, Sungjong couldn’t help but ask. ‘Did you notice something, ummm, you know, something weird?’

The way Howon frowned before slowly putting the heel of his palm on Sungjong’s head told the youngest he shouldn’t have said anything, even before Howon slowly told him to stop watching scary movies. His initial plan to ask Sungyeol when the guy arrived with Woohyun later due to their drama filming was quickly cancelled too, for obvious reason.

Furthermore, during a couple shoot with Sunggyu, Sungjong had to match up to the elder’s mistakes. It wasn’t up to the point where the photographer was yelling profanities, and he knew they would never because no one ever really lashed out on Sunggyu. Nonetheless it was a little tiring when the photographing took longer than his tired self had expected. Sunggyu, at the end of the shoot, pulled on his elbow and mumbled something but Sungjong was too irked by that time. He just forced on a smile he didn’t really feel like giving and pulled his elbow away quickly -and unnecessarily harshly if he had to be honest- before Sunggyu could even finish his words, faking a need to rush over to the stylist noona waiting by the many clothes.

He was pulling his blanket up to his chin when his mind thought it would be fun to reminisce about that little incident. He wondered what Sunggyu was saying just now. Probably an apology, but then this was Kim Sunggyu, the eldest in Infinite. Why would he even apologize, even if it was his fault? He decided it wasn’t important and told himself to let go and move on. Apologize or not, why would it matter? Sunggyu would keep on being Sunggyu. It would be normal again as it always did.

Ah, he did feel bad about brushing the elder off rudely like that. He should stop by a dim sum shop and make Sunggyu with him sometime soon. It would settle his conscience at least and maybe Sunggyu’s possible anger, if he was building up any. Ah but he wanted to buy something he had been eyeing since two months ago.

It was only Sunggyu, he shouldn’t bother much right?

While Sungjong gradually forgot the unknown discomfort, Howon came to his own suspicion less than two days later when he and Dongwoo huddled together for yet another readjustment of their upcoming unit comeback album.

Sunggyu stopped by to give out his part of the album. They –Howon, Dongwoo and the whole team working with Infinite H- decided that Sunggyu should make his own lyric for the song the leader was going to be featured on.

To be honest, Howon was not really into the idea. He wasn’t exactly against it but it was just, not exactly something he would have suggested on his own. Sure, Sunggyu was the best singer in their band but him and Dongwoo weren’t that bad. They could have sung on their own, especially since the album was for their unit. Which was why during the meeting after the boss said Sunggyu should be featured in one of the songs, Howon laughingly suggested that Sunggyu should come up with his own lyric to match the rap parts which, as everybody already knew, were written by Howon and Dongwoo themselves. Who’d know the boss and the others there agreed wholeheartedly?

Thinking back, it was rather childish of him to put that on Sunggyu. Dongwoo had asked when they were alone in their room later that night after Sunggyu was finally informed, that if they were out of line for forcing that on Sunggyu just a week before the actual recording of the song. Howon said since he was going to even interfere with their unit then the least he could do was show some creativity. It didn’t seemed so bad when he said it but it sounded mean when the words were out, especially when Sunggyu was standing at their wide open door. Dongwoo laughed it off, which Howon quickly followed too. And Sunggyu had smiled, scrunched his nose a bit and mockingly showed his small fist.

But Sunggyu just took the folder labeled with his name, one that their manager said to hand over to Sunggyu and left without a fuss. The issue wasn’t brought up ever again. Today however, when Sunggyu returned that same folder to the producer sitting by the hundreds of buttons controlling the recording studio and just left after a few bows and small waves to him and Dongwoo, Howon noticed something glaringly wrong with the whole picture. But for the love of everything, he couldn’t quite tell what it was.

Last night when he somehow finished his schedule early, Howon had decided to go straight home. Sunggyu was there on the floor facing the glass door to the verandah. The man wore a big sweatshirt with hoodie covering his head and Howon wouldn’t really have guessed it was Sunggyu if not for the infamous pretty alabaster fingers tracing unknown shape on the floor beside his leg. He saw a wire coming from behind the hoodie, attached to portable CD player laying on the floor on his other side which explained why Howon’s return was not noticed.

Howon remembered just standing in the junction from the entrance to his room for a few minutes just staring at the elder’s back. Sunggyu shed quite a lot of weight these past few months which now seemed to be a bit too much. Was Sunggyu still on his diet regime? He didn’t know. These days, Howon had only been with the leader during dance practice, performances or very rare vocal training. He didn’t remember when was the last time he really talked to Sunggyu aside from that one time Sunggyu showed him the fist. Did Sunggyu laughed at that time together with Dongwoo and him, he wondered.

The lightning shocked his trance and caused the bottle he was holding to hit the floor as well as making him cursed out loud. The noises brought Sunggyu’s attention to him and Howon gave a sheepish smile while picking up the bottle before more water spilled. He knew from his peripheral that Sunggyu moved away but quickly came back and started pulling the kitchen towel to put over the puddle of orange vitamin drink. He thanked the elder but Sunggyu was already walking away to his own room as he was about to do that.

Howon didn’t like feeling neglected especially when it was so obvious the disregard was intentional. What the hell was Sunggyu’s problem?

Dongwoo was skeptical as he listened to Howon during lunch today, and still was very skeptical now as he was continuing packing for his jungle trip. Howon had a personal schedule and told him to speak to Sunggyu. It was funny thinking how Howon looked quite disturbed with his own speculation, which was why Dongwoo headed straight to his room without as much as acknowledging the clanging of pot and ladle in the kitchen. He knew for a fact that it was Sunggyu since the eldest mini-me was on the big white board under “home” pasted on the entrance wall where everyone had agreed on putting their miniature magnet in the specified box so that if disasters happen to their phone, at least the others would know whether the person in question was “home” or with “friend” or even in any specific schedule together with the manager in charge.

A loud crashing sound of a dish meeting the floor pricked his attention a bit and Dongwoo sighed as he heard the familiar yelp from Sunggyu. He shook his head as he casually continued picking out his clothes. If this was, say, three years ago, maybe he would have made a run to the scene of accident and fussed around. Or at least last year, where he was still polite enough to yell a courteous “are you alright”. Now though, everything was so, normal, so to say and frankly he couldn’t care less. Sunggyu would always end up breaking something and it wasn’t anything to even be the least bit curious or concern about any longer. It had been an unspoken rule that if you had destroyed something under the “communal” category, you’d be the one to replace it.

He was humming to himself, pretty excited about the latest collaboration he was asked to do when he heard the front door automatic doorknob unlocked. Dongwoo frowned, pretty sure no one was supposed to come home at –he glanced down to his wrist watch- five minutes to 8pm. Sudden realization had Dongwoo slapping his forehead. Myungsoo said he wanted some of the dumpling soup someone’s mother sent and he remembered Woohyun jokingly reminding Dongwoo who they knew would be home to do it instead of Sunggyu because, and he quoted “Sunggyu-hyung would dry out all the soup and leave only the burnt dumplings”.

Cursing under his breath, Dongwoo began to prepare some scolding as he made his way to the kitchen in haste. The sound and yelp just now only increased his worry of the soup and this smell of burnt something was definitely not helping. He opened his mouth, ready to tell the elder off but was met with silence. He frowned but speed-walked over to the stove where a big pot was still puffing hot steam. The fire was off though, which was a good sign, and the dumplings -praise the merciful Lord- were still swimming in the clear broth, and actually looking very brand new. He took the nearest spoon and smiled when the taste was as beautiful as a few days ago.

With a relieved sigh, Dongwoo decided to cook some rice since he remembered someone’s mother –he wasn’t being ungrateful but they really were not sure whose mother it was since all of their mothers always managed to send something whenever they could- sent a box of side dishes sometime earlier in the week. But to his surprise, the rice cooker was filled with newly cooked rice. He decided to search for the burnt smell and just now noticing the little burn on the non-stick pan in the sink. Gingerly, he stepped on the rubbish bin and found two cracked egg shells sitting in between a bunch of broken plate and a lot of tissues, which had some redness now he looked closely.

Sunggyu must have spilled some chili sauce again. As always. Dongwoo just sighed and wandered back to his room, when he remembered the entrance and went over to check the white board. There, he found Sunggyu’s miniature clumsily stuck with more than half of his magnet into the “out” box. Dongwoo just shrugged and retreated his steps inside, ready to continue his packing when he stepped into something wet. His eyes widened as he saw the thick redness on his sole, blood to be precise.

He ran back into the kitchen and the tissues proved his belief even more. Dongwoo panicked just as the front door unlocked again.

Myungsoo spared a raised brow but when Dongwoo was done with his panic rant, he just dumped his backpack along the way to the enticing smell coming from the kitchen. He told Dongwoo that the man was overreacting while he scooped the soup into a big bowl and Dongwoo told him about blood as he was scooping rice into the very same bowl. He scowled and warned the elder from talking about something disgusting when he was trying to have his first proper meal of the day. Dongwoo had apologized, but not before telling him he was cold hearted. Myungsoo had scoffed.

If he was not so hungry, he would have told Dongwoo that he needed to care about his poor stomach first before he could care –at most, pretend- about anyone at all. He was done dumping the used bowls together with some side dishes from Sungyeol’s mom or probably Sunggyu’s mom and was tapping his full stomach when Dongwoo came out of his room, looking calmer than earlier.

‘He just sent a smiley,’ Dongwoo was mumbling, deep frown looking as if it had found a new home on the other’s forehead. Myungsoo didn’t even need to verbally ask what the hell was happening when Dongwoo showed his text history; a long panicky question was sent to “Our Gyuleader” which only got one lame excuse of a smiley, not even the more popular fancy smiley.

Myungsoo scoffed and was ready to collect his bag to go back down to his own apartment unit. ‘He was being his lazy self. What’s new?’

‘I told you he was bleeding. He might be hurt, or sick. Show some concern!’

‘Hyung,’ he tried to sound less bored but he really didn’t particularly care. So Sunggyu bled, what about it? He had to film under the rain in late cold autumn –which probably was early winter in disguise- and scraped his knees on multiple accidental and deliberate occasions. Really, this was starting to sound annoying and he didn’t want to snap at another hyung. ‘Clearly he is fine if he can still reply your message. He’s a grown up.’

Dongwoo took a few seconds of scowling before finally sighing. ‘You are right. He would have made a big deal out of it, whining and complaining to no end if it was anything serious.’

‘Or not serious. What, he sometimes –if not always- makes a big deal out of nothing and you are well aware of that.’ Myungsoo grinned as Dongwoo rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. ‘What’s up with you and the luggage? You finally decide to live alone? How about me as housemate?’

Dongwoo knocked his head a bit and called him weird while pulling his luggage out. Myungsoo just watched the guy moving his own miniature down under schedule category and wrote a small “jungle” under the magnet, to which Myungsoo nodded as he followed Dongwoo out. He was reminded to check on Sunggyu before he sleep and as if knowing Myungsoo was about to flip the worry off, Dongwoo insisted with a pleading gaze, leaving him to watch the number from the elevator decreased one by one

So as not to be an and just because he could predict that he would forget if he put this off, Myungsoo took his phone out. Nonetheless, the last message he got from Sunggyu about two weeks ago had him leaning beside his door with a sigh.

Frankly, it wasn’t really a big deal. He blamed it on the stress after reading the comments on an article about his drama. People really have this preconception that free of speech and brutally bashing was the same concept. They didn’t even spend three seconds to think before posting up their degradingly insulting comments and even had the confidence to believe they were right because they were just trying to help. Some “perfect” society he lived in. If domestically he was treated like a waste of time and space, he wondered if internationally they were thinking that he was just wasting oxygen.

The fault was his own, he admitted. Even before joining the world where judgmental eyes and ears never sleep, he was told to always-always-always stop himself from roaming over to the negative comments side. But of course human nature of doing the opposite he was told won over even after the most plausible of logic. Needless to say, his relatively nice day was ruined and Sunggyu who happened to come over to confess something about a book he borrowed from Myungsoo some months ago became the scapegoat. And it was all because there was a spot behind the book, a proof that some water had caught at the corner of the back cover and some advertisement ages that had no effect towards the story in any way that all hell broke loose.

No amount of sorry could describe how he regretted lashing out. He still could remember Sunggyu’s face and the watery eyes, Sunggyu’s fingers grabbing the empty air, and the very soft apology. He wondered why Sunggyu didn’t lash back out at him as what he was expecting to happen. Sunggyu was no soft hearted pitiful damsel, the verbal fights he constantly had with them all during or after work were proof enough. But his mind was too busy boiling with rage and his feeling was still too fuming with self pity at that time to question the unusualness. He avoided Sunggyu for as much as their work allowed until he woke up from a light hug and a soft kiss to his temple that he began to let himself accept how stupid he was being. More so when he found his book on his shelf looking too crisp and new for a book he had been putting quite a few dog ears.

They didn’t talk about it, Myungsoo didn’t have enough courage to bring it up. He wasn’t sure about Sunggyu but the elder didn’t make any attempt to start the dreaded topic. All was good, all was well. And that last message he saw just now, he was sure it was intended for him to read it before he decided to stupidly torture himself with those comments. A simple “yah, I’m warning you, don’t try reading any article about your drama.” It was too late and he was too stupid anyway.

He discarded the empty text field and proceeded to straight-way dial that number he hadn’t been contacting at all this past few weeks. He’d do what Dongwoo asked and then just naturally apologize. How though? How should he start apologizing? Would it sound sincere enough if he just got it over and done with through the phone? Should he went back upstairs and waited for Sunggyu?

A loud yell behind him almost made him screamed back. Sungyeol laughed merrily, tears of mirth threatening the corner of his eyes as he made his way inside their apartment. ‘ you, Lee Sungyeol.’

‘I know you’ve been eyeing this L-sshi, I know.’ Sungyeol replied cheekily, bending a little too inappropriately just so he could wiggle his sweet buns to the still recovering from shock Myungsoo. When he stepped out of the elevator to see Myungsoo leaning sideways with a phone pressed to his ear, Sungyeol thought it would be a waste not to scare the out of his best friend. It was fun, even as Myungsoo grabbed his and gave it a hard squeeze.

‘I know you want me, Sungyeol-nim, but we have a bigger matter at hand.’

He got a pinch to his rear end before Myungsoo closed the door and continued fumbling with his phone as he walked further in. Sungyeol followed, dropping down half on top of Myungsoo upon reaching the only couch in the living room. ‘What matter?’

‘Dongwoo-hyung said Sunggyu-hyung is apparently bleeding.’

‘From PMS?’ A roll of eyes replied his little joke and Myungsoo was back at redialing someone. ‘Who are you trying to reach?’

‘Sunggyu-hyung.’ Myungsoo groaned before ing his phone into Sungyeol’s palms and proceeded with reclining as deep as he could into the couch. ‘Third time. He usually calls back by the second.’

Still not getting the urgency of this situation, Sungyeol pulled out his phone, jokingly adding, ‘Maybe it’s ‘cuz he saw you calling.’ When Myungsoo groaned again Sungyeol shook his head. ‘If you are going to agonize about it so much, you should have apologized properly. Preferably on the day you and I were obviously awake when he came in and hugged you. You even got a new book. Pampered.’

‘I’m sensing this ugly jealousy from you since Sunggyu-hyung just tucked your blanket and left that day. Get over it, he loves me more.’

‘Yes I’m jealous but I’m sure he loves me more, you ugly toad.’ He threw Myungsoo’s phone into the man’s face when Myungsoo’s relentless fingers were attacking his sides with those deadly tickles. Thankfully, his long legs carried him fast enough into his shared room with Sungjong to lock himself in just in case Myungsoo decided tickling was not going to be enough. Slowly, his slim back slid down the door and Sungyeol carefully tucked his legs close to his chest as he waited for the familiar connected beep to his call.

Much to his disappointment, his call was ignored too. Was the injury that serious? Despite his joke, he was really worried. Sunggyu wasn’t the healthiest of the bunch, he wasn’t all that great either but he was more than sure his fitness level would triumph Sunggyu’s anytime. Myungsoo said Sunggyu was bleeding though so fitness wasn’t the point, unless he fell while running on the treadmill or while trying to show off during weightlifting. The latter sounded more relevant to be honest.

The last time he saw Sunggyu was, well, he wasn’t sure now that he thought about it. He could have sworn he saw at least a glimpse of Sunggyu during the commercial filming because the brand wanted Infinite as a whole. His drama filming was taking too much of his time. Usually, he would spend a couple of hours every few days just talking to Sunggyu. Or, well in his case, making fun of Sunggyu. Basically they would just be chatting about random stuff, something serious, sometimes pure nonsense. As much as he loved being busy with drama filming, he really missed wasting time with Sunggyu too.

With the tip of his forefinger pr