“What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.”

Kai

The seasons change fast. And as I reminisce on the times we spent together, I can’t help but think about the contrast between the warmth of when she was with me during the summer, and the cold of when she decided to finally disappear during the fall.

It’s been over 2 years. I recall the 8 seasons that have passed since then, each passing day, barely tolerable. I recall the sleepless nights I had to endure thinking of when she was going to reappear. But then again, why would she come back to a jerk like me? Me who had selfishly neglected all her efforts. Me who had thoughtlessly taken her for granted. Me who had foolishly  given her up and forced her to leave.

As I glance through the window of the café, I see the silhouette of a couple trudging through the snow hand in hand. It reminds me of summer; of how she and I used to walk barefooted on the hot cement, just so we could come here, to this very café, to cool ourselves down with the airconditioning.

A nostalgic smile found its way to my lips as I retraced our memories from the past. Our past.

I can’t help but remember how she used to smile at me, regardless of how irritable I became. I can’t help but remember of how she used to let me lay in her lap while she’d tell me stories until I fell asleep to the sound of her melodic voice. I can’t help but remember of how she used to gently kiss my forehead whenever I appeared tired on our rare dates. I can’t help but remember how we used to be. I can’t help but remember her.

Park Nana, how do I let go of the past? How do I let go of you?

For two years, I had to drown in the pain of our break-up. For two years, I’d constantly wished to go back in time and undo the things I did wrong and unsay the words that have caused you agony.

It is only now that she is gone that I have come to realize just how much I wanted her to stay. It is only now that the summer of our love is over that I have come to appreciate what we had then and what we don’t, now.

A tear escaped my eye as I relished the time when I was happily in love with her.

If only I have shown her just how much she meant to me, would she have remained by my side?

Just then, I heard a cough, interrupting me from my thoughts. My eyes remained glued to my cup of coffee, refusing to acknowledge the seemingly feminine presence before me.

“Excuse me, but is this seat taken?” I was taken aback by the familiarity of the melodic voice that spoke.

I looked up and saw the dark brown locks, the soulful eyes and the angelic smile I had missed over the past two years. Nostalgia waved in, drowning me.

“Jongin, are you waiting for someone?”

I didn’t respond. Instead, I took the time to take her in. She was wearing the same look, the same expression, as she had 2 years ago. The smile she wore was intent, as if she was seeing me for the first time in her life.

And for a while, none of us spoke.

It was only after a few minutes that I realized I hadn’t answered her question.

I chuckled at my silliness before I stood up and wrapped her in a tight embrace. “She has just arrived.”

She returned the hug and pulled me closer, showering me with affection once more, making me feel as I had felt in her arms 2 years ago.

At this moment, I no longer wanted to go back to the summer when I had her at her best. Instead, I wanted to relish this moment with her. This moment that I had finally come to appreciate what we had. Today, while we cuddle amidst the chilly winds, I have come to realize that without the days in the cold, our sweet months in the sunlight wouldn’t have meant as much to me as they do now.

Hiiii guys. This chapter/oneshot is dedicated to Nana_Kai :) As requested.

OMG. Sorry if this bigtime. I swear I'll try to take the time to edit it when I am in the right mind. LOL.

Anyway, thanks so much to the new subbies, sweet_lava, touchnmove999, DolphinsFTW,  spammer101 AND the beautiful Dajeong! (oh ayan na.)

Please do comment when you have the time. Thank you! <3 Saranghaeyo.