Kyungsoo

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"Kyungie!" her angelic voice rings through my ear drums like an addicting, melodic tune. Her hands wrapped around my torso, tightly as I felt her lips graze against my shoulder blades.

 

"Hi darling" I placed my hands on top of hers and felt her smile into my back, in return. My euphoria was abruptly haulted when I felt her presence disappear before my eyes. I looked down to find a pair of soft hands, but they weren't there. I looked back up and saw her figure from afar. Her name rolled off my tongue multiple times before my hearing went deaf. Eunhee, Eunhee.

 

She's gone.

 

And just like that, another night has passed through like a painful bullet. The sunshine hit me with its harmful lights, looks like I was too lazy to close the blinds again. Junmyeon probably had a rough night so he went straight into his room while I sat in the living room.

 

My eyes were heavy as usual. I sat on the floor,resting my arms on the couch as I stared out the window. The frosty air ate up the surface of the window creating a sheer layer of fog and the grand clock across from me, ticks in a way that almost seems like it was mocking me. Another restless night, nothing new.

 

I heard the door creak from across the room, but it didn't intrigue me. My cousin with his wild hair and 5 o' clock shadow on the bottom of his face, greets me with a disappointing expression.

 

"Again, Kyungsoo? You can't keep doing this. It's been 4 years. Come on. Grow up." he said before yanked open the fridge for his morning cup of OJ. I ignored him as I watched the sun rise over Seoul. He's just in a pissy mood because he had a bad night with his girlfriend- or I mean ex-girlfriend.

 

"You know what Kyungsoo? At least I've gone through at 3 relationships in the past 4 years. What have you been doing? Insomnia for 4 years." he snapped. Oops, did I say that out loud?

 

"Yes. Yes you did you idiot." the older male strutted back to his room and slammed the door behind him.

 

"I can do whatever I want with my life, Joonmyeon." i grumbled. I really can.

 

 

 

 

"Junmyeon, I'm going. I'll see you tonight." I announced before shutting and locking the door behind me. I slipped on a pair of shades to hide my terrible eyebags that frequently occurs when I dont drink the night away, so basically on nights that I'm sober. Why? Long story short, without booze, I wont be able to knock out and sleep. The frosty air nipped my nose when I opened the door, stepping into the refreshing morning air.

 

I exhaled and rubbed my hands together before walking to the bus stop to a road that I've been taking for the past 4 years, hoping that if she'd ever come back to Seoul, this would be the first place she'd come to.

 

I fiddled with the cold metal ring on my fourth finger as a usual habit, the ring is the most valuable thing to me because it resembles our love and our vow. I looked at my watch as the date on the clock spoke to me. December 19. The day that she left.

 

It's almost Christmas, and it looks like I'll be spending it alone for the 4th time.

 

The smell of CO2 made me scrunch my nose. The bus was here and I entered it, paying the fare and sitting in the back as usual. The seat next to me was the window seat. She liked the window seat so much that sometimes I would about how she would pay attention to the trees more than she would pay attention to me. She would giggle cutely and peck me on the lips, holding the side of my face saying "Aigoo, you know I love you more than trees, Kyungie"

 

Then we'd pull out my phone and share earbuds. We'd share another kiss and lastly a song. The Winter's Tale. A song that we wrote together. It was our song and the two of us knew the whole thing like it was the back of our hands. As it played, I lend her my shoulder. Our hands would naturally intertwine and she'd softly run her thumb along my knuckles.

 

But today the song played in my earbuds as usual.

 

After time passes and seasons pass
I hope we won’t change, I hope it won’t end
I make this wish

 

But she wasn't here. Like a heart disease that slowly ate my heart away, my eyebrows scrunched in pain as I held my chest. I looked to my right at the emtpy seat and a tear slipped unconsciously.

 

My heart hurted more than I thought. And It never got better. 

 

 

 

 

"Kyungsoo, my boy." the elderly woman greeted me with a comforting hug, knowing that I needed one. "It's almost Christmas, any plans with your family? Your father called me a couple of days ago, he said he had great plans for you." I faked a smile and hugged her back. Another Christmas with my family, but not the one that I really wanted to spend it with.

 

Dont get me wrong, I'm a huge family person at heart. It's just, I cant do it like I used to, when my heart was one whole. Unlike now, it's nothing but a bunch of shards, desperately trying to cling together.

 

I sat near the fireplace of the cafe, it was upstairs and was a exclusive spot only for me and her. I looked up on the chalk board that hung above my seat and smiled. My fingers traced on the writing that we left.  "I love you more than trees, I swear. -Park Eunhee" I smiled before I remind myself back when we were young.

 

"Whats up with you and trees, Park Eunhee?" my 14 year old self asked her as she sat on the swings, kicking her feet as I pushed her. She lets out a big sigh and I hear her smile as she spoke, "They're just so free, Kyungie. They can just be on their own in the wild and live on their own."

 

"Living on their own huh.. Wouldn't that be lonely? " I asked as I looked out on the bundle of trees ahead of us.

 

"Not if there are other trees around, Kyungie." she says calmly "But.. Trees are plants. Dont they die?" 

 

"Trees live for a very long time"

 

The swing slows down and her back rests against my chest. As soon as she looks up at me and I look down. "C-can I be that tree that is around you?" my lips dry in an instant as her glossy orbs stare straight into mine. My heart thumps against my chest. I mentally curse at myself, hoping that she doesn't feel it. I gulped nervously, and she does too before she broke into an innocent grin. 

 

"You're silly, Kyungie. You can't be a tree. You're too short" she stuck her tongue out and jabbed my forehead. I mumbled 'ow' and held my forehead, "Yah!" I cursed but before I could catch her, she was already on the slides. 

 

"You aren't a tree, but you can definitely be the sun." she suggested. I titled my head in confusion. "W-.. why is that." I asked.

 

"Because trees need the sun to live, Kyungie. I need you, to live." 

 

I looked over to her seat and see her sitting casually as she pushes a strand of her dark chocolate brown hair. She laughs at me because I about how she eats her carrot cake. Then I'd pinch her cheek and tell her that I love her for who she is.

 

"Grandma told me to give you an extra something as a Christmas gift. Here hyung." Sehun, the grandson of the ahjumma of this cafe, places a small box next to the slice of carrot cake and latte. 

 

"Thanks bud." I smiled at the tall kid before he beamed a smile and scurried away. I tugged on the ribbon of the box and unwrapped it to only see a small christmas tree with an E+K engraved on the star, sitting on the top of the tree. "Eunhee ah..." I stood up from my seat and looked at the chalk board for any changes or alterations.

 

On the very bottom of the chalk board, a familiar handwriting catches my eye, it's her. My lips quiver as I read the message aloud to myself. "Do Kyungsoo, how have you been without your tree? I miss you and I still love you. And I hope you know that I still love you more than I love trees"

 

I ran out downstairs to ask Sehun where he got the box from and if he had seen Eunhee.

 

"Sorry hyung. We've been a bit busy since its the holiday season. Even if I saw Eunhee noona, I wouldn't have known." he apologizes.

 

My heart skips a beat at the mentioning of her name. She was here. She was here. I didn't know whether or not to feel happy or not. But how do I find her?

 

 

 

 

 

"Chan Oppa!" the young girl sticks her head through the door of his room. "Oh Eunhee ah." he groggily gets up from bed and waves at his sister. "Ready to go today?" he asks.

 

Eunhee's wide smile falls into a frown. She sighs and takes a seat at the end of the bed, "Oppa.. Can we not go to the cafe today?"

 

Chanyeol's lips pursed, his plan wasn't working too well. "Eunhee. You can't keep avoiding him like this..." he pushed back the loose strands of her hair and tucked it behind her ear. "He's not mad at you. He's surely madly in love with you, thats one thing for sure."

 

"I-.. I cant." she shook her head. "He must've hate me so much for leaving so suddenly." she looks down at her hands.

 

"It's been 4 years. If theres anyone to blame, it'd probably be me." Chanyeol whimpers in guilt. "It's my fault. If I hadn't-"

 

"Oppa dont." she interrupts him and forces a smile. "If you hadn't what? Became a legendary violinist at the age of 26? Oppa. I'm so proud of you and I'll never regret supporting you. so dont feel like it's your fault." she placed her hand over his. 

 

"How can you not hate me, Eunhee? You sold your happiness for mine.." she grins and lightly jabs his shoulder. "Chanyeol. The only one I'd be mad at is mom and dad. At least you knew what my happiness was." 

 

Chanyeol bit his bottom lip and his eyebrows scrunch up together. "Hmm.. Thats true. I'm pretty awesome." Eunhee negatively reacts to his typical cocky attitude and jabs him again. He chuckles before his cellphone rang.

 

"Eo, Suho hyung?" 

 

"Yo, Tonight is perfect. Bring her at 7 ish. Kyungsoo will be there. I'll text you the address to my new bar." the older male says.

 

"Ok, gotcha." he replied before he faces his confused sister. 

 

"Who's Suho?" she asks. 

 

"He's a friend. Hey, how about we hit the club tonight? Brother and sister bonding time?" Chanyeol wiggles his eyebrows convincingly. "Hmm..Ok. Call!" she excitingly replied. 

 

Chanyeol smirks secretly and celebrates silently, I'll definitely repay you, Eunhee.

 

 

It's been a few days since I've found the box that she left me. I've came to the cafe for 5 straight days, hoping that she would come back again. She didn't, at least to my belief, not yet.

 

It's 7pm and the sun has set a long time ago. I make my way to Junmyeon's bar and prepare for my stage. The crowd awaits me but something feels off about tonight. Maybe a good thing or a bad thing that my gut is telling me. For some reason I feel more nervous than usual. I snuck a peak of the crowd behind the curtain to see a full house.

 

I've had a few full houses before but I never felt this nervous to the point where I started chewing my nails. Eunhee would've slapped my hand away from my mouth and scold me for keeping such a bad habit alive. But she's not here to ease down my anxiety.

 

"Kyungsoo" I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "You're up, bud." Junmyeon said as he gave me a smile.

 

As I stepped through the curtains, the crowd in front of me applauses. I took a seat on my stool and adjusted the mic, hand shaking and my eye squinting due to the piercing stage lights.

 

"Merry Christmas Eve! Thank you for coming tonight and I hope you're having a great time. Uh. This song I'm going to sing tonight is a song that means a lot to me." the crowd ooed making my ears flare red.

 

"Aheheh. She's been in my life for 11 years and I was hoping she'd be here to at least hear me sing this to her. Here it is! It's called The Winter's Tale"

 

The crowd applauses one last time before the lights dimmed. I closed my eyes as the familiar tune flows through me.

 

Like the lights on the street
Turning on one by one
The cold and white winter has come

"Did you wait long? It's getting cold, I told you to layer up." I scolded. She looked up at me and smile. 

 

"Why are you smiling! I'm being serious." I pouted.

 

"It's because I want you to hold onto me, you silly." my eyes widened at her daring comeback. I saw her face close the distance between us and before I could react, I felt our lips quickly meet.

 

Seasons of good times pass
Seasons of exhaustion pass
As I go to meet you, who I longed for

 

"Eunhee where are you..." I held the note she left in my hand and fell to the ground. 

 

I carefully take out
The box that I hid deep inside
And take out our memories that we made last winter

 

With a bottle of soju in one hand and my wallet in the other, I drank the night away, caressing a picture of her in my wallet. I rested my head against the cold window, looking into the dark sky hoping that wherever she was, she'd be doing the same, thinking of me.

 

At the twinkling stars all night
We softly smiled
Under the tree, without anyone knowing
I hid my heart as you held my hand

 

I carefully snuck behind her and pulled her into my chest. "Boo!" she jolted in surprise before she playfully slapped my arm. "You scared me!" I buried my nose in her neck and smiled. "I'm sorry, darling."

 

She turned around to greet me and looked around. "Where is everybody. And why are we hiding behind the Christmas tree." she asked.

 

I gave her a smirk and looked above us. She followed my gaze and gasped. The mistletoe above us hangs high and proud of all the victims it has capture. For tonight we're the victims.

 

"So i can do this." I slipped a hand around the base of her neck and kissed her ever so softly. She slowly gives in and kisses back, tugging on hem of my dress shirt lightly.

After going around the earth a few times, I met you again
Only you held me so warmly

Under the blanket we cuddle on Christmas evening. I feel her fingers softly playing with my hair as I laid on her chest, hearing her steady heartbeat that only beats for me.

 

As she hums to the melody of our song like a lullaby, I fall completly under her spell and slowly fall asleep.

A white snow that resembles you falls
It builds up cozily
And disappears like snow melting in the cold winter

 

"Kyungie it's snowing! Oh my gosh wake up!" I felt the bed shake violently. My eyes crack open to see her run outside to the porch. I quickly sat up and put on a jacket before joining her outside.

 

She dances and twirls as the snowflakes slowly fall on us, i couldn't help but smile at the angel before me.

Ah Baby

Outside the frost covered window, I see you
The light spreads and your smile as well

As the lyrics rolled of my tongue I searched through the surf of the crowd and played my chances.

Another memory builds up again
This winter, it’s even more special, Christmas tree

The lights were too bright, making everything in front of me dark and undetectible.

A long winter passes and the lights turn off
And darkness comes like night
But I don’t care, your smile is still so clear

A figure from afar was smiling. She pushed back a few loose strands of her hair like she always does. 

After going around the earth a few times, I met you again
Only you held me so warmly

Oh my gosh its her..

A white snow that resembles you falls
It builds up cozily
And disappears like snow melting in the cold winter

I smiled brightly finishing the last of my lines. My stomach churned nervously. Oh how I wish to sing this song forever with her standing in front of me knowing that this was for her. 

You shine like you came down from the sky

Like a shadow from the faraway darkness
You’re like a star fallen on top of my head

After time passes and seasons pass
I hope we won’t change, I hope it won’t end
I make this wish

The crowd applauses and the soundtrack comes to an end. I grabbed the mic tightly and thanked the crowd. "E-Eunhee." the figure in the back corner looked up and responded. "Park Eunhee, is that you?"

 

She quickly turned away and headed towards the exit.

 

"Park Eunhee come back!" I took off leaving the stage with the stool and the mic on the floor. The crowd got awkward and confused but I didn't care. 

 

"Eunhee!" my voice drowned in the blaring club music and the crowd was getting thicker and thicker. When I made it out the door she was no where to be found. 

 

"Park Eunhee!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I cried her name multiple times until it pulled out the tears that I had been hiding when I was singing our song. "Come out please.." I fell to the cold floor holding my chest.

 

"I just want to see you even if it's just for a bit.. I-I miss you so much and I cant live without you anymore.." 

 

Light footsteps approach me and a hand was places on the back of my head. "K-Kyungie.." I stopped breathing for a second and looked up. It's her.

 

"E-Eunhee.." I scanned her face, she was a lot thinner but she was still pretty. She hadn't changed a bit except her hair wasn't as short, in fact it grew longer. I ran my hands through her hair and touched her cold cheeks, warming them up with my hands. 

 

"It's you.. It really is you." I smiled. She let out a giggle before a tear slipped down her cheek. "I'm so sorry, Kyungsoo." she cried. I brought her into my arms and held onto her tightly like today was my last day on earth.

 

"I thought you'd be mad at me, why aren't you mad at me?" she asked. I broke the hug and wiped her tears. "You pabo.. I would never be mad at you. Oh god I'm so glad you're back. That's all that matters to me."

 

"How did you know Junmyeon's new club was here?" 

 

"Channie Oppa said that this was Suho's club. I didn't know who Suho was so I blindly followed him here." she replied.

 

"Suho is Junmyeon's underground name."  she squinted her eyes, "Wait a minute, he lied to me."

 

"Well I'm just glad that he lied." I held her into my chest. She looked up, "Why is that?"

 

"Because I think he just gave me the best christmas gift I've ever received." I kissed the top of her head softly

 

"What present?"

 

"You."

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TA DA.. I know.. its cheesy.. But just wanted to get my kyungsoo feels out. mwuahaha. Hope you had a great Christmas. Have a great New Years while you're at it. :) -K.L

 

This is unedited btw.