She was seated at the back of the bus, staring out the window. A light and secretive smile crossed her face as she remembered the somewhat eventful day. Waking up this morning, she found herself in a daze, wondering if everything was just a dream. There were times where she wished her life was nothing but a dream- a terrible nightmare, but yesterday was a day she wished was reality.

The bus pulled up at her stop and she purposefully lagged behind her peers to avoid getting into trouble so early in the morning. She wanted to stay in her fairytale like trance for a while longer. Making her way into the buzzing school, she kept her head low and paid attention in the halls, sticking by the walls.

Arriving at her classroom, she quickly and quietly moved over to her seat in the back of the room and her fairytale like trance was broken when she heard a few snickers directed towards her. She was sure why, but she knew that her classmates probably had something in store for her. She found herself with her head down and the gears in her mind churning, trying to think of ways she could brace herself for what was to come.

The hallways grew noisier and the door to the classroom was opened, revealing a very handsome boy with light brown hair. It was the Grade A student. No wonder why the halls grew much noisier.

He took a step into the classroom, heading over to his seat as she peered up for a moment. As he got closer to his seat, she noticed how he seemed to hesitate taking a seat upon seeing that he had a seatmate. He didn’t look to enthusiastic about having a seatmate, but nonetheless, placed his bag on his chair and headed to the back of his classroom to retrieve his books for the locker she had given to him.

“What are you looking at?” A girl near Eun Kyung sneered, noticing who her eyes were on. Eun Kyung looked down at her shoes and the girl scoffed. “Garbage like you shouldn’t be looking or even thinking about gold like him.”

As the girl moved away from Eun Kyung and moved towards her friends, Eun Kyung couldn’t help but stare down at her shoes bitterly, thinking everything her peer had just said was true. Who was she to look at someone like Daehyun?

“Who did this?”His voice was loud and clear as the classroom turned silent from its usual buzz. Eun Kyung was too bitter to even look up as he spoke. She wanted to, but the girl’s voice kept ringing in the back of her head. Her hands were cold and stiff as she played with her fingers to keep herself composed. “I’m asking, who did this.” The classroom was silent until someone decided to speak up.

“Isn’t that Eun Kyung’s locker?”Her eyes widened as she heard her name and she slowly turned her head in the direction of the lockers. Standing by the lockers were a few students, along with him, who held onto his drenched books. Her face paled and her vision grew blurry with the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

Her classmates and even some peers from the other classes that dropped by their class to catch a glimpse of the stunning Grade A boy, began to murmur. She watched as their attention was slowly directed towards her and her peers began to send her dirty looks.

“Look what she did to Daehyun. Isn’t she sorry?”

“Who does she think she is? To give her locker away to Daehyun? Apologize you, freak!”

“She’s probably just trying to get his attention. Giving away her locker was the first step. What’s the next step? Giving up her body?” A few snickers were heard.

“Poor Daehyun. His books are all soaked. She should apologize.”

Her hands were closed into tight fists as the words hit her and she found dry. She was sorry. She hadn’t meant for him to accidentally receive something she should’ve received. If she could, she would take a bucket of water over herself instead of getting his books mistaken as hers and getting it drenched.

Her classmates took no mercy on her as they continued to speak about her, loathingly. She felt like breaking down and crying at that moment. She didn’t though.

“I-I’m sorry, Daehyun.” She managed to rasp out as she gave him an apologetic bow. Keeping her head down low and avoiding eye contact (that would surely cause her to break down), she made a beeline for the door when she heard a commanding voice.

“Eun Kyung, stay.” It was his voice. She froze by the door, her eyes glued to the floor and her dark shoes. She could hear him clearing his voice as he prepared to speak. She pulled her bag closer to her chest to brace herself to run out the door after he was done with his speech. Was he going to humiliate her?

He didn’t seem like that type of person, but after suffering with drenched books- it was hard to say. Eun Kyung shut her eyes, biting her lip out of nervousness.

“I’m glad my books were drenched to be honest.” The murmurs were quickly silenced as everyone seemed to be taken aback by this statement. “If it wasn’t for this, I wouldn’t have known how cruel humans can be to one another. For what reason is that too? Even if one has done wrong, there’s no reason to harm them. As humans we should be there for another to help each of us change for the better.”

A few murmurs were heard.

“I don’t want to hear any apologies, I just want to see the change.” He seems to be expecting something from his peers, but nobody moved. The room is silent and everyone is exchanging glances at each other, wondering who would be the change. After a while longer, she hears the slamming of a book to the floor and she stays paralyzed hearing footsteps coming her way. He stands besides her and his hand lands on her shoulder. “So this is how our future will be.” He sounds genuinely disappointed and he gently pulls her from the classroom and down the halls into the school courtyard.

“Are you okay?” She felt her bottom lip quivering, feeling unworthy of the three words. If she felt unworthy of those three words, how could she be worthy of hearing that he liked her (if he did, which was highly impossible). She felt his hands make his way over to her messy strands of hair from the episode in the classroom. “Eun Kyung, speak to me.”

She kept her head down, unwilling to look up and meet his warm brown gaze. Her lower lip trembled as he tilted her head up and her forced her to look into his eyes. Their eyes met and it was enough to send her to tears as she noted the genuine and sincere intentions he had for her. He truly did care and it hurt that she couldn’t even do a single thing for him to show that she appreciated how much he cared. She couldn’t even speak for him. Something as little as talking and assuring him that she was okay- she couldn’t do it.

She was crying. She lowered her head in shame and watched as the tears that left her eyes dotted the cement ground beneath her. A few drops landed on her worn out sneakers and the lump in made it hard for her to breath. She felt him pulling her closer and letting her forehead touch his shoulder and her eyes still focused on the ground. One of his hands, held her close and the other patted her back softly.

“Take long, deep breaths.” He suggested and that’s when she realized she had been gasping for air all the while as the lump in the throat made breathing difficult from her. After a while, her breathing became steadier and she grew conscious of what had happened. She had been a crying mess in front of the guy that she liked.

Feeling all the more embarrassed and ashamed, she stood there, wiping at the remains of her tears as she waited for him to do something- leave. It simply wouldn’t be polite of her to leave, after everything he has done for her in the past twenty minutes or so. She wanted him to leave and make her embarrassment and guilt disappear. Unfortunately, he didn’t leave.

“Eun Kyung, if the others are bullying you, tell me.” His voice is soft and it soothes her, almost causing her to forget about how embarrassed she felt just a moment ago. Of course, the moment their eyes meet, she’s forced back into reality.

Tell him? How could she possibly tell him and get him worked over them? Her bullies- were literally the whole school. Even the freshmen shunned her. Whenever she walked down the halls (which she preferred to walk down the halls when it empty) she would hear mean rumors about her- none of which were true. Everyone was against her and after the episode at the lockers, she couldn’t bear to drag him down into her mess.

She wasn’t sure how she became a victim of bullying. She swears or at least she believes she has done nothing wrong to anyone in school. What has she done to deserve such a treatment from her peers that were no different from her?

“Let’s get back to class.” He says softly, tugging at her arm. “The first bell is about to ring.” She stays glued to her spot, unwilling to head back to the classroom with him. He was after all, a Grade A and she was a Grade W. It wasn’t right. “Eun Kyung.”

“I-I need to go to the bathroom first.” The lump in was still there, even though it had gotten smaller. It hurt every time she swallowed her saliva, making dry as she attempted to swallow her saliva less often.

Please, don’t leave me. I need you. The voice inside of her head chanted, though her heart wanted him to leave. A part of her told her to keep him by her side and the other part told her to let go, shouting demeaning and harsh words at her.

“Alright. I suppose it isn’t for me to say I’ll go with you. I would be seen as a ert if I did so.” His laughter is the light of her day so far. She’s falling deeper for him and the devilish part of her, scolds her and mocks her feelings for him. Her self-esteem drops to an even lower level. She watches as he heads off to class first and then shakily takes a seat on a bench and draws in uneven breaths.

The shrill of the second bell has rung, telling her that she was late for class. She leans back on the bench heavily, deciding that no one would mind her absence. Maybe her bullies, as they would be forced to focus on learning, but otherwise there would be nobody else that would mind.

What if he does? She wonders as she swings her right leg, kicking at a few broken pieces of the cement ground. Another thought hits her that he’s too busy learning to even notice her absence. With such a perfect guy, does it make sense that he would waste his precious time in class to worry about her? It didn’t, she decided. She couldn’t return to class now because she certainly didn’t want to attract any attention her way or have the teacher scold her for being late to class.  Oh, how everybody enjoyed her misery.

So she sat outside in the courtyard alone, letting her thoughts wander about the place. She found her eyes glued to the school building as she wondered what life would be like once she graduated. Would things be much better than they were? It should be. The hell she had been through for years- nothing would be able to compare.

The first bell for second period rings and that snaps Eun Kyung out of it, wondering if she had really just spent one period out here. After wondering for a moment, she reluctantly stood up and returned to the classroom (thankfully no one seemed to notice her sudden appearance). She takes her seat in the back and quietly pulls out her notebook and a pen to prepare for the next class.

After a moment of sitting in her own silence, she shifted in her seat, feeling rather uncomfortable. Someone was watching her and she was scared.

What if it’s them? Oh no. Don’t look up, Eun Kyung. You’ll probably cry like the baby you are if they throw something at you again. She willed herself to keep her head down and doodle on the margins of last week’s notes as she silently prayed to God that he would keep them away from her. When she heard the classroom door slide open and the teacher yelling at everyone to stay silent, she breathed a sigh of relief. They were no longer watching her.

Lunch came around rather quickly, much to Eun Kyung’s surprise. Maybe it was because the math problems had left her utterly frustrated and determined to solve it. She had been scribbling away on her poor notebook, leaving indents in the paper as she tried to grasp the concept of the problem. Maybe it was because science was especially interesting today as well. There were a few short clips on how Physics worked and she took loads of notes. Maybe it was because she had been preoccupied the last few periods and didn’t mind the harsh words said about her in class today.

“Daehyun, let’s go! The rice cake shop is going to be full if we keep moving at this pace!” Feeling tired, Eun Kyung buried her face into her arms to close her eyes and relax. Hoping that Daehyun would soon leave the room and her heart could continuing beating normally, she took a deep breath, before turning back to listen to his reply.

“I have something to do. You go ahead.” To her disappointment, he had decided to stay behind a little longer. Pulling her notebook out to distract herself by doodling, she could hear the sound of his footsteps getting closer and closer  to her.

“I didn’t see you during first period today.” She didn’t respond. She didn’t know how to respond. She didn’t want to lie, but even more, she didn’t want to burden him with the truth. She didn’t want to attract any attention towards herself as she entered the classroom because well- she didn’t want her bullies to acknowledge her presence. “Eun Kyung, look at me.”

She shook her head at his request and continued to keep her eyes glued to the lined paper even though she couldn’t even see the page properly. The chair next to her made a slight noise as it was dragged from underneath the desk and he took a seat next to her.

A pair of hands landed on her cheeks and softly guided it to look in his direction. Her heart was beating at an abnormal rate and she was sure her face was bright red by now. She couldn’t seem to process anything going through her mind at the moment. Their eyes met and it took her an awfully large amount of willpower to keep her eyes from watering down. The look in his eyes was something she longed for most of her life.

She wanted someone to be sincerely worried about her. To sincerely care for her. It had been a day or two since he had learned of her existence and that’s what made it even harder for her to keep her eyes from watering down.

“Eun Kyung, I know I won’t be able to force anything out of you. Just remember that I’m here to help. Don’t even think of yourself as burden. Alright?” He sent her a smile and she made an attempt to smile, but she couldn’t. Instead her vision blurred and fat drops of tears were rolling down her cheeks as she pulled away from his hands covered her face with her hands.

She felt a pair of arms wrap around her, the hands patting her back in a soothing way as she cried without making much of a noise. No one would’ve been able to tell that she was crying if they heard what was going on inside the room.

It hurt her to know that there was someone who actually cared for her and she cared for him. She couldn’t even make it seem as thought everything was alright. She hated that. She kept her face buried into his chest as she stayed in his arms. The soft scent of the laundry detergent coming from his clothes soothed her as she let the tears fall out (dampening the male’s uniform, but the male didn’t care).

After a while, Eun Kyung pulled away from his arms and stood up, wiping at her tears. She kept her head down, suddenly remember that fact that she had cried in front of him. Jung Daehyun, the Grade A student. No matter how many times Eun Kyung had tried to convince herself to be worthy to be in his presence, she couldn’t. She wasn’t too sure herself of what made her think that he was any different than her. They were both human were they not?                                  

Even so, Eun Kyung was thoroughly embarrassed by her sudden outburst of tears in which not even her mother had heard or seen. Perhaps not even the bullies. She knew she was a mess and it further confirmed the fact that she did indeed deserve the title ‘Grade W’.         

“I- I have to go to the bathroom.” Her voice was raspy from crying without a sound and her eyes were red and a twinge bit swollen from the tears. He stayed silent for a moment, before responding.

“Alright. I’ll be waiting for you here.” He gave her another smile and it took her everything to keep herself from bursting out in another round of tears. She felt genuinely terrible and unworthy of standing in front of him as she knew that he cared for her (even if it was just little), she knew he cared. His eyes told her all she needed to know and it hurt her to think she wasn’t worthy of it.      

That was what all she could think about. That she wasn’t worthy of this or that, she wasn’t worthy of a perfect family, which was why God gave her this kind of life. She wasn’t worthy of being a Grade D student like everyone else in her class, which was everyone made her a Grade W student. Worthy and unworthy was all she could think about.

Living life for seventeen years had left her highly self-conscious and with low self-esteem. Every look that a innocent passerby sent her seemed to be looks of harsh judgment and hatred. The mirror seemed to mock her every morning as she brushed her hair or stood in front of the mirror adjusting her uniform. Everything about her was seemingly unworthy.

Without a word, Eun Kyung grabbed her backpack and moved past him. She wasn’t planning on going back to her afternoon classes. All she had was gym and art, which she didn’t find too important anyways. She didn’t want to stick around for a period of torture as her bullies loved playing dodge ball. Especially with her.

He’s not going to wait for me. 

 

 

 

A/N: Another chapter! My updates for this story is really slow. I wanted to make the chapter better (which I've kept to myself for a while to see if I could make it better), but I haven't been exactly feeling it lately. My motivation has been lacking lately, but here's an update! :) Enjoy~ Feel free to leave a comment down below!