Kyuhyun's POV

I wake up. His arms are wrapped around my waist. I turned.

" I'm sorry Ryeowook. Please forgive me , i swear."  I pleaded.

He smiled at me . This sweet smile who can make my heart melt.  But suddenly i see it fading away , i try to catch him but when my hands grab him, there's nothing . He left like the wind. 

It happen almost every nights since the day he left me alone. And as expected , i cry.  He's not longer with me . There is just myself. I screwed up everything . I'm such a coward . Memories are coming back to my even tought i try to push them away. It hurt too much

3 Years ago in Winter (Gyuwool)

" Kyunhyun~a  , I love you !" 

"I love you more silly !" i said .

"I'm not .." but before he could put an other word, i kissed him . His lips were soft as always. He giggled . How much i liked this laugh. 

" Stop it please... I need to breath.." he pleaded.

I stopped . I asked him how is work was going . Since he quit his school, he became a music teacher. He teachs the piano . He has a lot of skills. I like listening to him when he play a song . Me? Well, i am working in a huge firm. It's a great job and i'm willing to keep going this way.  Someone woke up me from my toughts. It was my Wookie, he was kissing me .

" I tought you wanted to breath?" i .

" Well..Can't i kiss my fiancee?" he awsered blushing .

" Of course you can kiss me , and more if you want !" 

Well you know what happened ...

After our making out session, he asked me in a cute way , still serious.

" When will we get married ?"  . 

I aleready tought about that a thousand of times. I guessed the best moment will happen when Ryeowook will be ready.

"Any time . A least, you should be happy." 

He kissed me again. Even tought Ryeowook was really happy and in love with me , he always told me that he wasn't quite ready . I would answer to him that it doesn't matter since i'm with him. He was maybe afraid of the world . Afraid of the futur. I understand him.

Today

Eat, drink, work, sleep. That was my day. I live like a robot . The life's purpose left as he left . The person i treasured the most , i made him hates me . I looked without purpose at the wall in front of me . My vision is blurred. In my tongue, tears are tasting  salty and bitter.  After the moment he left me ,  i couldn't contact him . He changed his phone and i don't know where he is . I took Ryeowook for granted .

You only realise what you had when it gone .

Why i still want to live after that ? After our break up? I'm scared of the dead. I'm afraid that he will forget me, us. I don't want , even if it's painful. I've never tried to comit suicid.

The world i see fro my eyes is dark. There are no season anymore. Only one can discribe the atmosphere : Fall. The season of love and also the season of  melancholia. 

Does Ryeowook feel the same where he is ? Does he think about me , he may have moved on. Who would to stay with a stupid guy like me . Since i was born , karma has been a toward me. I only made people suffer by playing with their feelings. When i tought i could be happy, the karma took the only source of happiness from me . I don't deserve that . I still need him, i will always.

3 years ago in winter, christmas time

A middle aged woman was walking toward me , a huge grin all over his face .

" My dear futur son in law! I'm so happy to spend christmas with you ! " 

It was Ryeowook's mother . She had the same features as him. For our first chirstmas a