December 21, 2012

2 Years Before.

 The girl stared out of her cold and now-empty window, lifelessly looking at the fallen snowflakes melt on her windowsill. Her once cheerful self was melting, along with the snowflakes.

  That's what made winter her favorite season. The snow didn't make her feel so alone, since she was the same as them.

But now, they're leaving her, too.

 She sighs, silently sipping her now-cold hot chocolate as she sees a couple walking in the distance. She closes the curtains, as cold tears  were forming in her big, brown eyes. The tears had fallen, and there was another thing she had in common with the snow.

They both fall too much.

   She slightly opened her curtain, looking again at the couple. "They look so happy..." She closed it and put her head down in her knees, not bearing to see anymore.

She whispers softly. "I want to go back."

  Unbeknownst to her, someone had been watching and listening intently. She heard a timid knock on her door.

"Soojung-ah."

   She lifted her head up to look at him, wiping away all her tears. "Ye-yes?"

  Seeing the tears drop down from her pretty face broke his heart. He walks over to the chair beside her, and takes her hand. "Today's the day. The 21st of December. I wanted to say one last goodbye before I enlist in active duty." She stayed silent, clinging onto his hand as she wouldn't let go. She just couldn't.

"Must you?"

   The boy her cheek. "I need to. I'll be back before you even know it. It's just military enlistment. Two years isn't even that long." She chuckled and shook her head.

"Two years was long enough for you to realize that I love you, yet we only spent a winter together as a couple. You made me go crazy, Jongin."

    Jongin smiled and brought her in for a hug. "It'll be alright. I won't ever forget about us. We'll be as happy as the couple that we still are, with all the moments that we can reminisce from this past winter." He wiped off her tears and kissed her forehead.

"I want you to have something. Close your eyes and hold out your hands. Just don't cry, okay?"

    Soojung nodded her head, and felt something put in her hand. She opened her eyes and saw a small stuffed animal. One that looked exactly the same as another one she had, only this time, it was brown. "Remember? These were the first things that we bought each other for Christmas. You bought the brown one for me because I was dark." Soojung smirked a little.

    "Oh! There's also a button on the hand. Press it." Soojung did as she was told. She could hear the sound of a familiar deep voice laughing.

"Soojung-ah! I love you!"

  Soojung laughed as she heard the obviously awkward recording. "There's that smile that I love. That was the same thing I said when I confessed to you."

He reached for something else in his pocket.

"I also want you to have this."

It was a piece of folded paper. Soojung was about to unfold it, until he stopped her.

"Wait! Remember this: Open it whenever you need my help and I can't be there to do it in person, so take this wherever you go!"

He checked the time and sighs. "I... I need to get going now."

"But I don't want to say goodbye," she says, reluctantly.

   He smile pitifully towards her as she regains composure. They share one last hug, and he walks out the bedroom door.

"Then I'll just say... see you soon, Soojung-ah."

   He walks out, as she lies down on her bed and closes her eyes, attempting to use sleep as her only solace.

    The sound of the car engine was heard. Soojung sat back up, and looked on as the car drove farther away from her. It had passed the couple that she saw before. They turned to the direction of her window, where they notice her. Their faces were crystal clear, and Soojung knew who they were.

It was her and Jongin.

     She sees the couple walking side by side right in front of her house, and then sees Jongin confess and the long, warm hug they gave each other afterwards.

She takes the dark stuffed animal in her hand, and presses the button right on cue.

"Soojung-ah! I love you!"

    She closes the curtain, and replies back. "I've always loved you, and I always will."

December 22, 2014

Present Day.

Dear Jongin,

Today is the day you could finally go home from service. Today is also supposed to be the day where I could see your beautiful face again.

But, that can't happen.

I wish I could've said a proper goodbye before you actually did leave, because knowing me as the one who thinks of the worst case scanarios that could never happen, I wish I would've seen this coming.

But, I didn't.

I'm destined to be that one person that overanalyzes situations, like for instance, the day when I first saw you four years ago. I thought you would turn your back since I was just another girl who might have thought you looked cool.

But, you didn't.

You actually smiled, and introduced yourself.

I was always that girl that would be too afraid to speak to anyone, even the teachers. I remember that day in class when I didn't feel too great and threw up all over your back. I thought you'd kill me, since I remembered hearing that you really liked that shirt.

But, you didn't.

You actually helped me to the nurse.

I was, and probably still am, pretty stubborn about my own preconceptions about everything. I remember the time when I thought it was a good idea to go outside when you insisted it would rain, and I got sick. I thought you'd say that you told me so.

But, you didn't.

You actually took care of me.

As time progressed, I thought I could try to step out of my shell, and attempt to be clever. By then, I already knew about what I felt about you. It may have not been the best idea as I flirted with Sehun right in front of you to try and make you jealous. I thought you'd hate me and abandon me after snapping.

But, you didn't.

You actually realized that you loved me.

It took the both of us two years, but I'm still glad to this day.

I knew that I done a lot of things that I wish I hadn't done, but you put up with me, and that's how we both ended up falling for each other in the first place.

You acknowledged me.

You cared for me.

You protected me.

You loved me.

But then, you left me.

There was a lot of things that I wanted to do to make up for everything in the past after you came back from the military. I waited for another two years for you to come.

But, you didn't.

When I got the death notice a few weeks ago, I thought it was just a sick joke and that you would pop out from behind me any second.

But, you didn't.

You had actually passed away.

I couldn't believe it. Actually, now that I think about it, I refused to believe it. I just couldn't cope with the fact that you didn't survive.

I placed the letter with the remaining things you gave me before you left, and it was at that time when I remembered that note.

I remember you gave me specific instructions for it, so I opened it as I felt that I needed your guidance. Even if it was just a simple, "You can do it! I believe in you!" note, I never thought it would have this much impact on my life.

But, it did.

It reminded me that you changed me for the better.

You believed in me.

That one small note made me feel so special. It made me feel as happy as I was when you were here by my side, and I could not thank you enough. You stayed strong when we were together, and now, I needed to do the same.

I want to thank you for all the wonderful memories you gave me.

I want to thank you for all the tears of joy and of sorrow you gave me.

And lastly, I want to thank you for the love that you gave me.

I'll keep the winter's remnants that you left close to my heart, along with you, Kim Jongin.

I'll remember you always, and everyday, I'll press that same button just to hear your voice telling me that you love me.

With my undying love,

Soojung-ah.

 With the tears b from the corners of her eyes, she ends her eulogy speech and takes one last look at the man in the open casket.

In a soft whisper, she finally says, "Goodbye."

 a/n: hope you liked this oneshot! This is my completely finished product! Comments and upvotes would be appreciated :) -sweetsonata