The Summers We Loved

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Baekhyun and Chanyeol enter their room, not knowing if it's right or wrong to speak or not. Baekhyun lays down on his bed on the left side of the room, all curled up and remote. Chanyeol slowly sits on his bed, and leans his back on the right side of the wall. While Baekhyun stares blankly at the wall, Chanyeol does the same to Baekhyun's small back. They were both busy with their thoughts, hence the tension starts to build.

Chanyeol notices. He notices what has been going on, that caused the boys to be like this. Actually, he knew since the beginning, but he was afraid to confirm that thought within himself. After speaking to the members today though, he realizes silence along with ignoring won't help the situation. But silence with comfort and a dash of the memories from the olden days would.

He moved his eyes from side to side and shook his head a bit to get himself together. He grabs his long pillow and steps off his bed. Placing the pillow on the ground, he rests there.

After taking deep breaths, he calls out, "Baekhyun?"

Gently, Baekhyun turns around only to face an empty bed with the edges of a figure still printed on the surface. He looks down and sees Chanyeol gazing back up at him. He cannot tell Chanyeol's expression, nor can he figure the message in his eyes.

"Yeah?" Baekhyun replies with a whisper, his voice still small that he cannot speak any louder when he tries.

"Do you want to lay here?" Chanyeol pats the space next to him and gives Baekhyun convincing eyes. Baekhyun gets up and lays beside him without responding anything.

They both look at the ceiling for a while, until Baekhyun asks, "Why are we laying here?"

Chanyeol turns to Baekhyun, and they both make eye contact.

"Don't you remember, how we used to lay here?" Chanyeol's deep voice seems to emphasis every word that slips past his lips. Rather than an actual reply, the silence answers his question.

"We used to lay on the floor at night because the rooms got too hot and the beds were uncomfortable. But we also used to lay on the floor and talk when we had a worry or when we wanted to fantasize about the future. I remember you told me you were afraid the fans might not welcome you because you were disappointed in your vocals. I told you your vocals were always hitting the notes perfectly and beautifully since the beginning. It was the truth, but you didn't believe me.

You also told me you were excited to meet our fans at the fan-meetings, and you would squeal cutely when we talked about how we should give fan-service. We told each other we were going to do well and that we'd be able to become legendary. We told each other we had everything a group needs so we'd be successful, as well as we'd stay together forever no matter what. That was a lie, but we all believed it," Chanyeol speaks slowly, but also watches his words. He wants Baekhyun to hear his message without sounding too harsh.

"Now that time has passed, what is there to talk about? We no longer fantasize about our future, perhaps because this is the future we never thought we'd have. We no longer talk about our worries, because they are stamped on our foreheads when we let our guards down. I called you because I thought this was necessary. Right now, I believe bonding and comforting words would help best. The reason why I'm doing this is because I'm indirectly telling you that I admit it. I surrender. Our group is falling, and one of the reasons why is because all of us are hiding away from the problems. We are constantly running and are out of breath due to the obstacles that seem to never let go of our shadows. But the main reason why I want us to lay here like the old times, is to talk like the old times. Tell me your worries, I'd love to lend you a shoulder to lean on. Tell me your fantasies of our future, I'd love to fantasize with you. We all have the same goals and view, but what matters most is how much we let the struggles impact us. So tell me everything, you know I care," he says with a few sniffles between fragments, but finishes with a clear, strong ending.

It seems like moments like this have become rare for them, for Baekhyun staring at Chanyeol with the atmosphere screaming how foreign this moment feels.

Earlier, Baekhyun saw Chanyeol, the guy that works hard for his fans. The guy that wavers when he sees unwanted comments about him or his teammates. In this moment now, he sees the boy who befriended him when they were both lost and stuck in a period of time. He sees the boy who was dorky and idiotic, but was only so to make his peers laugh and stay happy. He sees the innocent, naive Park Chanyeol who only knew about the people he loved, and did not care for any other.

But oh, did time change us.

Chanyeol sees the coldness in Baekhyun's eyes dissolving, and his glass mask shattering. Softly, Baekhyun asks Chanyeol to turn around, and he does so. Like those nostalgic days, Baekhyun uses Chanyeol's back as a blank canvas.

He places his palm on Chanyeol's broad shoulder, and slowly glides his hand down to flatten Chanyeol's sweater. With his long, delicate fingers, Baekhyun wrote his reply to the members, his reply to everything they've been through, and his reply to tonight's talk.

Baekhyun ends after lightly placing periods along Chanyeol’s ribs; he hears his own whimpers and feels the choking knot in his throat.

A small pause passes by as Chanyeol fixes the characters in his head and realizes what Baekhyun wrote.

"돌악가고 싶어..."

"I want to go back..."

Chanyeol's eyebrows tightened. He didn't want to turn back because he was afraid of what he would see. His taped up heart couldn't afford to see Baekhyun more broken than he was before, but despite knowing the risk, he rotates around and envelopes Baekhyun in his arms.

Although they end up staying in silence like usual, Chanyeol now truly knows how much all of this has affected his loved ones.

"It's okay... Everything will be okay," he tells Baekhyun, but his mind questions what to do.

Chanyeol's lips shake and Baekhyun feels them on the strands of his hair. They both feel more emotions and feelings, and hear more thoughts than words could ever express.

Like those pre-debut moments, the brothers fell asleep with Baekhyun's puppy whimpers and Chanyeol's heavy breathing as their lullaby. They used to complain about how loud the noises are, but they now use those sleeping habits to assure themselves that the other's presence is there.

That the other is there for them.