You sat down on the sofa with a camera on your hand, taping a video for your lovely boyfriend who is nowhere to be seen...

"Oppa, I made a sweater for you  ...Make sure to wear it on Christmas, araso?” you asked cutely then laughed.....
"I made it since you always complain that you are cold and stuff though it was cute, lol. So here is the sweater" you grinned and showed the camera the sweater
" so as you can see, the color is black and white  ...Your favorite colour  ...yeepee,hope you like it ,okay  see you on the other side which is reality " you laughed and ended the video tape...

You threw the sweater away carelessly ...."another boring day without him," you sighed as tears started to roll down on your cheeks...

Days had passed with no Sehun by your side, you tried to call him but failed, you tried to text him but no answers...he told you that he'll be gone for 5 days but it’s been 7 days since he'd gone away.....you thought something fishy was happening but shook it away ,still believing that oh sehun loves you..

"Ani, Jin ah, he still loves you...Trust that, just because he was missing for 7 days doesn't means that his disappearing." you slapped your cheeks harshly leaving a red hand printed mark...

Suddenly, a knock came from the front door..." who is it?" You shouted but no answer. so you dragged yourself out of the sofa and opened the door, peeping a bit...no one was there. you thought it was a prank or something but as soon as you looked down you saw a little small package ..." why is there a package ? '' You asked, tilting your head then picked the package up.

“Who is it from?" You asked yourself again and entered the house with the package on your hand....without you knowing, someone was watching you carefully from afar.

You sat on the floor, putting the package on your round coffee table. after praying on something, you slowly opened the package by using a knife that you found on the floor and for your surprise, it was not a good thing.....tears started to flow down on your cheek, your heart shattered into billion of pieces ...your legs became jelly and mostly your mind was about to explode...." no, no..It can’t be. this isn’t true!!!" You screamed and you crumpled the photo....

It was a photo of sehun and some random girl kissing at a certain club and it looks like sehun enjoyed it...." no, this is a scam. There is no way sehun would do this to me?" You shouted and ran to outside . looking for someone or something ...but to no avail...you gave up and sat down on the stair case , crying like there was no tomorrow...you wrapped your legs , physically hugging it...tears are rolling down non- stop , already making your chiffon blouse wet ..

“t-this is n-not t-true! “You stuttered and it was hurting your throat ....you looked up and wiped those tears with the hem of your sleeve...You laughed trying to get it out of your mind. You gave in and stood up. Looking at the crumpled photo and saw the ' sehun kissing with another girl ' spot....your heart ached again and you fell ...
" is this a nightmare? “You sighed and dragged yourself in.

THE  NEXT  DAY 

you got yourself ready with wearing a white hoodie and black jeans (with a black shirt under the hoodie)...putting on a black sunglasses to cover up your bloodshot eyes and a white mask to prevent someone seeing your red nose...you entered your car and drove it carefully, on the way to the market ...you the radio to hear some music ...mostly sad ones..Your mind was filled with thoughts until you can’t see the front road...luckily, there were no vehicles that you can hit with...

You arrived at the namdaemun market after driving for exact 40 minutes. the market was not yet full with people ...walking with  your market bag with wheels with you ..You checked one by one of the store. looking for some ingredients to make chicken stew...and lucky enough, a nice ahjumma fed you a korean pancake. since its delicious , you bought three of it...you bid farewell to the ahjumma and continued doing what you were doing 5 minutes ago.

You never failed to smile back at the nice ahjummas and ahjussis (you had opened the mask) ...they were nice and innocent ...happy always. you always thought that , have they ever felt sad or heartbroken ?..Someone stopped your thinking with bumping you  ..." h-hey!" You exclaimed...the person gave you an envelope and ran away after he did so  ...you were confused...you look back at the envelope and it has the same hand writing like the package you received yesterday....Your body became rigid in a second. Fear overwhelming.

You went to a dark alley and opened it...once you opened it, you instantly fell on the ground and hurt your knees...it was another photo of sehun and the same girl making out in a bed...you closed your mouth, forbid it from screaming.." so this is not a scam " you said defeated..You were shaking, your minds can’t stop thinking of sehun, and your eyes can’t stop the tears from falling ...nothing can stop that.....The agony was unbearable.

you looked up at the skies and saw heavy dark clouds on the sky...you sighed and tried to stand up but your legs hurt as much as your heart..You can't think clearly, your eyes became blurry and in the next moment, rain started to pour heavily...you got no umbrella. no shelter, just a white hoodie that can save you....you pulled the hoodie up and put your hands in the pocket...you couldn't stop thinking of Sehun afterwards, or most likely he was the only thing you'd thought of while going back to your car.

You entered your car after been out in the cold rain for half an hour...as you get in , you fainted with your head on the steering wheel ..Making a 'hon' sound......you dreamt something awful, something that you should have not dreamt  ..." ani, andwae!!!! andwae! , you're not him! "....  ”whoa” you shot back in reality, leaning on the car seat after fainted for 3 hours...the fuel ran out when you were still fainting..You had a mark on your forehead...

“Huh, how do I suppose to get home now? It’s still raining " you sighed and acted that you never saw those photos....you stayed in the car, arm folded near your chest and your head leaned against the window.

“how could you do this to me?, you made me love you sehun, how could you do this to me?" you sobbed like a child........you planned to go to sehun's office tonight and talk to him......you headed to the back seat and pulled out a fuel and an umbrella ...you went ouside and refuel it carefully ...you can smell the scent of fuel...it brings back a memory of you and sehun...Sehun........The name lingered in you...

FLASHBACK...

You and sehun were at the gas station obviously fueling the car...you entered the shop to buy some beverage for sehun but when you got back you found sehun was asleep while fueling the car..you laughed and sneakily walked to him...you put the cold canned black coffee on his forehead and pushed it ..." ow " he scowled and gave you a stare.." wake up sleeping beauty " you grinned and entered the car...sehun finished his doings and entered the car as fast as he could.." you naughty little girl " he pouted and flicked your forehead .." oww, what was that for?" You asked as you your forehead...”revenge” he smirked and tickled you down...”hahaha, yah sehun. Stop it b-before i call t-the police" you laughed and threated him. "oooooh? since when did my baby girl knows how to threat his awfully handsome boyfriend?" sehun asked cutely and kissed you softly. At the time, you thought you were the most luckiest woman ever.

END OF FLASHBACK 

“How come that lovely sehun becomes a heart breaker?” you asked yourself and wiped the tears that rolled down on your cheeks with the hem of your sleeve...."done” you deadpanned...there was nothing but your memories with sehun in your head..You put the fuel back and drove away...

you were standing in front of his office building, hesitated whether to enter or not...but agony supported you, it encouraged you, it told you to meet your true love ...you entered the building, showing the pass that sehun gave you to the guards...you asked the reception lady where is Oh Sehun's office, " his busy, you can meet him next time”  

You obviously ignored her and went upstairs, observing the map carefully and found sehun's office...it was at the 6th floor where people rarely comes...after searching for the office, you finally found it...his office...you peeped inside and saw your end of the world...sehun and the same girl again was making out ...you closed the door back and leaned your head against the door with your hand on your chest.

You were aghasted, shaking, your heart ached and the most shocking thing is anger is in you waiting for your actions..Nothing could describe how awful you werefeeling at the moment. It was pain + Hatred + Sadness kind of feeling..your fist tightens almost sending your knuckles to the color white...you opened the door and kicked it , you walked to sehun and slapped him really hard ...he and the wannabe beside him  was speechless..You looked at the in front of you and pulled her hair with teary red eyes..(MInd the uses of words )

“Get your nasty body out of here or do you want me to do it?” you smirked with teary eyes. This wasn't you at all, you were Jin Ah. The girl who was too kind but you thought that people change and this changing is not for the bad, it was for the worst.

“Jin ah, don’t, you're hurting her!” sehun shouted at you and pushed you away, helping that useless to stand up...you were boiled with anger...

" go , I said go! , you ing !!!! " you cursed at her ....
" don’t go , we had to settle this matter " sehun said to her ..
   settle what ?  You thought.

You eyed them, looking at their lovey -dovey moments while you? Standing  their like a lost ...did they forget or purposely forgot that you were standing in front of them...you inhaled and exhaled ...trying to get calm ..

" how could you , sehun , how could you , why ? , why ? " you asked him looking at his eyes in fierce fully. might say with furious

" jinn ah ,I can explain " he cooed 
" explain ?! , hul, yeah explain to me why, why? Are you and this over here are making out???huh???, yeah , explain it to me.." you scoffed at both of them
" hey , don’t you dare calling me a , you barely know me ! “The defended herself...aww, so NOT cute...

" huh , calling yourself pure ??!! , oi , , you're making out with my boyfriend , okay .." you ranted at her
" hey , after , you call me a ? “she smirked and flipped her hair
" you're the one who forbid me to call you a , so what else do I’ve to use? , ?" You growled at her...
“Guys! calm down !!! " sehun shouted...

Both of you looked at him with anger

" what ?!! " you and the lady shouted in unison
"jin ah , I want to break up with you , I don’t want your love anymore or in another word I never loved you " And that ing hurts. his words were true because you can saw the sincerity in his eyes.
"you heard that , he never loved you !" Again the spoke and smirked...

“Shut up, !!” you shouted at her...You looked at sehun and locked eyes with him...your eyes started to swollen because of the crying...
"why ? am I not enough? , I can change , I promise " you said with a begging voice..

“No, it’s just that...It’s just that .....Let me get this straight jin ah, I tried to love you but I can't ...it's complicated you know, when I tried to love you there's something I don’t know stop me from loving you, look you're a nice girl and you deserve someone better than me and -" And just when sehun was about to go on, you stopped him with slapping his right cheek ...

"But I want you Sehun, I love you.Do you know how long I have waited for you to just come home and spend time together with me, even if you want to break up with me, you know you can just said it nicely and at somewhere more clean than this place which smells like a club . Plus I doubt that you did not remember who I was when you were busy ing this girl in your office and every time I call or text you, there's barely answers and if there is an answer, it would be 'busy' or 'office, working’!" You sobbed and shouted the last word.

“Look, I’m sorry Jin Ah. It’s just that maybe you're not the one for me ...And if you were, there's merely a chance that we can live happily together" Sehun replied while rubbing his red cheek.
"So you think that you can have your happy life with her?" You asked, eyes were puffy over the hard crying

"emm...." Sehun didn't know what to say at that time.

“Sehun, have you ever, maybe once have those butterfly feelings when you're with me?” You asked nicely, hoping to get a yes but guess not when you saw Sehun's face.

“Guess not huh? Well, okay then, good luck" you said and left the room, completely embarrased..You were standing at the elevator area. Obviously waiting for the elevator to arrive. You checked your phone and pressed the 'sehun ( ^ _  ^ ) album'. You pressed the delete all button and while you were doing it , you felt like there was a knife that just stabbed you from behind and by the next second, the elevator had arrived . 

Grabbing anything that can support you to stood, you pressed the lobby button and waited for the elevator to arrive at the floor you wanted, a group of workers came crashing you down in the elevator and you were lucky enough to escaped it .. Walking like a lame zombie, people in the building stared at you and some of them laughed while some of them felt pity on you...As you were heading to the automatic door, the lady before smirked at you...Well, you're not blind so you saw her smirked ...''Told you sehun is busy, you should listen to me when you had time to - '' That was when you released everything.

"To what?!, let me guess, Sehun had slept with you before? Emm, as far as I know, Sehun doesn't like to sleep with skinny es like you or you force him to you senseless until you become one of his slaves? Defending him and so, am I right?" You scoffed back at her and intended to continue but thought to stop there. But, you weren't finished

"You know? I'm quite curious. How can Sehun let some nobody like you work here? I mean look at you you're nothing. And please those earings you're wearing are so last season and that lipstick are just so not for you." The lady was speechless. You didn't realise of your mean action, making another person feeling low and wreckless. You were out of control. You were full of angerlust.

You smirked back at her and completely exited the building....

It was raining outside and you hurriedly entered your car. . Flipping your hair to the right and to left, you let go of your hair, letting the bangs to cover your eyes while the others on the shoulder...you rested your head against the window and closed your eyes for 10 minutes. That was when you fully let it all out. You sulked, you cried, you whined, you sreamed, you shouted, you gasped. The car was filled with your pity cries. Frankly, you just want someone to hold you at the moment, to cry on a shoulder...you were a woman too.

After 10 minutes of complete sorrow, you felt satisfied for a tiny bit....Starting the engine while locking the door, you drove away...You had stopped for two bottles of soju and a can of beer at some street stands while you were driving and now, your car smelled alcoholic ...

There was a traffic jam along the roadways, being a drunken lady right now, you wouldn't wait a second so you made a u-turn and used the high way. People these days don't usually use the highways to go to Incheon since there's a narrow road and beside it is a cliff, short form - dangerous road...

Driving at full speed without fastening the seat belt was a dangerous move for you but hell would you care , you were drunk. Your eyes were feeling heavy and was about to shut but you protested. You tried to open it but failed. You did not realize that there was a truck coming your way from the front and.....

.............................................................................................................................................................................................

The next morning, you were on all news ...It has found that you were dead, they can't find your body, some of them said that your body had gone missing and some of them said that it was eaten by a carnivore. Bla Bla, Korea met mayhem for a while. It was a crazy accident that made you famous. They found your car by the cliff but it was odd, everything was odd. You were put in a case by the government. "Min Jin Ah's mysterious death" was the title. 

But the question is ...are you really dead?