The soft, pink petals of the roses are now dried, dull and withered. Even the water in the vase is half dried up. It's already been two years since Appa passed and Oppa is about to be enlisted in the national military service, and Omma isn't feeling very well. Our florist shop down the street is going well nevertheless, and my pay in the cosplay cafe a few blocks away is getting higher. The shop manager is very friendly, and so are my colleagues. They're just like my elder sisters, always looking out for me and supporting me and my family, especially in finance and emotional support ever since the passing of my father.

   "Omma, I'll be going to school first with Oppa. Breakfast is on your table. Love you," I kissed my sleeping mother's forehead after placing a tray of her morning breakfast on the table next to her bed, just like every morning. A small smile crept to her as she peacefully slept, and I returned the smile softly, before going out and closing the door behind me gently.

   "She's still sleeping?" My brother asked as soon as he saw me coming out from my mother's room. I gave him a half-hearted half-smile before we left the apartment.

   "I really miss him.. if only I didn't tell him to buy me bubble tea that night.." I muttered to myself, still frustrated and angry at what I did when I was 13.

   "Yah, Song Areum. It's not your fault. It's that truck driver." Oppa stopped in his tracks, turning to me and cupping my face in his hands as he frowned. "Smile. It's the past. How many times must I tell you?"

   I let out a sigh, before pulling a big, fake smile. "I'll try to find reasons to smile."

   "You already have one, pabo." He laughed, swinging an arm over my shoulder as we walked down the pathway.

   "And that is..?"

   "Me!" He grinned like as if he would be something that everybody would be proud to have and keep.

   "Yeah, right. Dream on, Ahjussi." I smirked, elbowing him lightly.

   "What did you just call me?" He challenged, pulling away with a horrified face.

   "Ah-ju-ssi," I replied with syllables and a childish laugh, before he ended up chasing me. Well, I was quite a fast runner so when I hid behind a tree at the park across our school, I thought I lost him. I wanted to reveal myself and go to school but my waist was wrapped with a pair of arms which lifted me high into the branches of the cherry blossom tree. "Eh! Yah, Oppa! Put me down!" I squealed like a little girl who was rewarded with a bag of candy, laughing hysterically, or so, it seems to me.

   Once we reached school, my smile and laughter faded. Not only because my brother went off with his friends, but also because that hell is going to start. I'll probably be greeted with many hair-pulling and feet-tripping 'accidents' from Chorong, the school's most 'respected' and richest queenka in school, who is the basketball player Park Chanyeol's sister and she also has her own slavery buddy: Son Naeun. She was my former best friend, until she had to ruin the whole friendship.

   I sighed to myself, keeping my head low as my grip on my holographic blue satchel bag straps tightened, but low enough to see where I'm going. As I got shoved here and there in the sea of students, there were loads of evident smiles and laughs when I nearly tripped over my own feet.

   "Oh? Look who's here~!" The girly voice of Chorong's greeted me second thing after I managed to snake my way from the crowd. It seems like she was with her brother, Naeun, and one of her brother's friends, Byun Baekhyun. My heart was already heavy with all these desperate calls for help and attention to make this all stop, but they'll just see me as a hopeless and worthless attention .

   "Come on, Chorong, enough already. Give it a break." Chanyeol pleaded, holding his basketball in his hands after giving me an apologetic look.

   "Oppa~, not until I give her my usual morning greet!" She pouted. Baekhyun gave her and Naeun a look, which is always a signal for me to run and go to class before it's too late. I really may not know them well, but I'm thankful that at least they're a good helping hand and a maybe a reason to smile. Maybe.

   I quickly made my way to class. But as soon as I opened the door, I was greeted by loads of crunched up paper balls of all sizes and laughter. As I walked to my seat at the middle row next to the window, they balls, laughter and treacherous words. I swallowed the lump in my  throat as I silently sat down, ignoring the laughter and already gone paper balls which were all over my desk and my area.

   "Yah, yah, clean up already. It's not nice to throw paper balls at people." A voice followed by after the closing of the door and silent footsteps of the sneakers.

   Jeon Jungkook.

   He's the most respected person in class after Kim Jongin, the class' head and the heart throb. Jungkook is the class representative for school events, class activities and stuff like those. Every girl has their eyes set on the both of them, but I find it weird that they're not as close as I though they would. Sometimes, they're just so competitive that I just can't  see why. But maybe they both have the same crush or they're fighting for a certain goal or something. I stared at the lightly carved words on my desk as the girls began to clean up with goo-goo eyes at Jungkook and Jongin, but they immediately turned to horrible, scary glares. My breath hitched as soon as I saw the first few sentences on my table.

 

Worthless pig.

Fat cow.

B*tch.

Get a life.

You're too ugly.

Why do you even exist?

You're so ugly that boys don't even want to ask you out to prom.

If you want to be a trainee, you could at Fail Entertainment!

Ugly b*tch, get a life.

Attention seeker.

Your mom's sick? I'm sure she's sick because of your rotting face!

 

   The last one hit me hard like as if it was raining rocks on my head. I sniffed as I rested my chin on the palm of my hand which was supported by my elbow  which was resting on the table. I sighed as I looked out of the window, admiring the free butterflies and swallows chirping and flying around in the bright and beautiful spring sky. The cherry blossom trees gently swaying back and forth with the gentle wind guiding them.. if only I were as beautiful as this. If only I were as free as this.  I swallowed the small lump in my throat before averting my attention back to the board. As soon as I did, Ms Jung, our form teacher, came in.

 

❅ ❅ ❅

 

   "You may have escaped earlier this morning and during lunch, but we're not letting you go now and whenever we have the chance." Chorong grabbed the collar of my uniform as she cornered my somewhere students would rarely go to; the rooftop garden. I avoided eye contact with her and Naeun as I stared at my black school shoes as she pushed me against the tree. "Why are you so ugly? You should seriously die, you worthless warthog." She spat, pulling at my hair roughly as Naeun took that chance to smack my arms and face with all her might. My bag was gone from my grip and from the corner of my eyes, it was laying down on the floor with my books scattered all over.

   "I really enjoyed playing with your feelings, Im Ara. You're so, so, so gullible, my dear. To know that I'm actually Chorong-unnie's best firend not yours, you should've seen your face!" Naeun laughed, poking at the small bruises which were probably forming underneath the cotton fabric of the school's blouse. Chorong pushed me to the floor, and Naeun stepped on my hand on purpose as she walked away. I silently kept my books, trying to not wince at the stinging, burning pain on my limbs.

   Oppa says that I'm like a burning flame. I would tend to flicker whenever I'm losing my focus, patience and hope. I would tend to look like I'm slowly wearing out but I'd emerge from the deepest, darkest shadows and surprise everyone. I can look like I'm fading away but the actual fact is that I'm there forever. Listening and waiting. But I would eventually be put out by the water, which is love.

   And right now, I'm sill aflame. I'm still burning. I won't let things just easily escape from my grasp. I should at least make the best of this.. year?  This high school life.Despite all of those hate and trash that I'm consuming, it just makes me stronger.. won't it?

   "Hey, are you okay?" A voice softly approached me who was busy blankly staring off into space. I turned around to see Jungkook.

   "Mm." I hummed sharply, before trying to make my way out and back home. My brother's probably waiting for me, but he's patient; he should be able to wait for a couple of seconds more. But no --- Jungkook just had to stop me and hold me back further. "What?" I asked, irritated, but with a hint of 'Let me go'.

   "No you're not. I saw everything." He softly said. I didn't even bother to turn and spare him another glance. Instead, I pulled my grip away from him roughly.

   "If you did, why didn't you stop them? Why didn't you help?" I emphasized the word 'help', before picking up my pace and leaving the place. And again. halfway there, he stopped me. Again.

   "I-I.."

   "Enough. My brother's waiting for me." I snapped, pulling away and running off. He saw, didn't he? If he did, why didn't he help? Or was  he just trying to act like a hero and 'save my day'? My day's already been ruined by those two girls and the class. Too ruined and wrecked to even be saved anymore. Why would he even care anyway? Aren't I just another worthless nobody?

   I ran up to my brother and tugged at his uniform sleeves. "Ah! Little Flame is here. Let's go~" he cheered, linking arms with me and I quickly pulled him along with me, going ahead so that we won't attract any attention from the group of anti-Im Ara.  I swallowed the lump in my throat as we walked home together.

   "Is something bothering you, dongsaeng?" He asked as we walked. I shook my head, smiling at him.

   "Nope. I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

   "Nothing, just asking. How's your day, Little Flame?"

   "Yah, yah, I'm not little anymore!" I playfully punched my brother's arm as we walked, laughing 'happily'. "It was great. I managed to play the flute again today."

   Anoher day, another excuse. I really don't want to let my brother find out why I'm so sad. I always cover it up with 'I miss him', 'I really regret it' or 'Just having a lazy bad day'. Neither should he find out about all the bullying and scars that I'm holding in since January. Cutting is obviously no excuse, it's not solving anything. Neither is holding it all in,  but I'll just tell my brother hrough the mails that I'm sending him while he's having military service soon.

   As we walked back home, my brother talked about his music class, his crush which was that Chorong, and told me the way that she talked to him, the way she acted around him and blah blah blah. It's obviously just her trying to take another important thing of my life away. But why would she anyway? Did  even do something? It's been bothering me for so long and I still can't get it out of my mind. Why is she doing this to me? Maybe it was her who put some sort of substance when she came over on my birthday party last year? Was it her? But it can't be. It can't be all her. O-Or maybe Omma accidentally mixed the wong stuff in her tea? N-No, it can't be..

   Why am I even bothered by this? It's not like my family has been hiding something behind my back or something. It's not like Chorong has to do with all of my misery. Maybe I really have done something to upset her and this is her revenge? But why is she so vengeful? Are all rich people like this? Is--

   "Ara?Ara!" My brother's voice snapped me back to reality and a hand was busily waving in front of my face.

   "Huh? Oh.. I was just thinking of something. Why?" I acted like as if nohing bothered me.

   "Aish, you little girl. Ponder shmonder, we're already home! Keys are with ou after all." He pointed out.

   "Hehe, yeah." I laughed awkwardly, pulling out the keys to my house from my pocket and unlocking the door, making my way inside with my brother trailing after me happily as he removed his shoes after I did. I headed to my room after placing my bag down on the couch, and changed into a comfortable white butterfly shirt and sweatpants before tying up my hair so that it won't get in the way when I do my homework.