The next morning Jungkook woke to being being gently shaken and someone calling his name softly. Jungkook groaned, his eyes felt sore from crying and he couldn't remember why, his throat was dry from thirst and he was exhausted, but the shaking didn't stop. 

"Mom, enough." Jungkook grumbled, turning onto his stomach, burying his face in his pillow and pulling the covers tighter over his head.

"Jungkook, I'm not your mom and we have practice in twenty minutes." A voice that was very much not his mother replied.

Jungkook shot up, yanking the blanket off his head and coming face to face with Jin. They stared at each other, Jin taking in his red, puffy eyes as Jungkook remembered the night before, they thought he was a stupid, sweet kid. At the memory his eyes teared up again. Jin frowned, looking at the younger in concern as he reached up and rubbed Jungkook's shoulder soothingly.

"Jungkook? Whats wrong?" He asked. 

Jungkook kept his bottom lip clamped firmly between his teeth not trusting himself to speak without crying again, instead he shrugged off Jin's hand and shook his head. Jungkook slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom, ignoring Jin calling his name. 

Jungkook closed the door and leaned against it, he expected Jin to start knocking on the door, demanding to know what was going on, and Jungkook didn't know what to say, but no one knocked. The teenager stared up at the ceiling, wiping his watering eyes, he felt pathetic, he was proving them right, crying cause Yoongi didn't like him, he really was just a kid. Jungkook took a deep breath, he needed to get himself together, he didn't work his off just so he could lock himself in the bathroom and cry, he had practice and Namjoon was right, they hadn't seen what he could do and maybe he couldn't rap, but that didn't mean he couldn't learn, he would prove there was a reason he was a part of the group, that bighit hadn't made a mistake by putting them together. 

Jungkook splashed cold water onto his face and looked into the mirror, determined to prove Yoongi wrong. 

-

Jin kept giving Jungkook worried looks all the way to the dance studio, but the teenager didn't pay any attention to his hyung, too focused on the schedule they had today, they had dance practice then they were going to the recording studio, apparently they wanted to figure out each other's voices and strong parts before they began working on any songs that they might be debuting with. Jungkook was fine with that, after all, his vocals were his strongest suit and he looked forward to the look on Yoongi's face when he proved it. 

Once they reached the dance studio and poured out of the car and into the building, they set down their bags and began stretching. As Jungkook peeled off his jacket and draped it over his duffel, he felt someone place their hand on his arm, turning Jungkook saw that the hand was attached to Yoongi. Jungkook froze, he wanted to rip his arm from Yoongi and storm away, maybe shout a bit at him first before the storming away bit, but he didn't, that would be childish and Jungkook was not a child, despite what the elders might think. 

"Yes. Yoongi-hyung?" Jungkook said, trying to keep his teeth unclenched and his tone neutral. 

"Can we talk?" Yoongi asked, he jerked his head to the side, away from the rest of the group. "Over there?"

Jungkook swallowed thickly, his palms felt sweaty, what did Yoongi want to talk to him about? That he was not fit to be in the group like he had told Namjoon? That he should stop being a trainee altogether and focus on school full time? That he was a pathetic kid that had no place in the music industry?  

"Yeah, sure." Jungkook agreed, doing his best to keep the slight tremble out of his voice. 

He followed Yoongi away from the hearing range of the other members, leaning on the bar that was against the mirrors, facing Yoongi. 

"Whats up?" The teenager asked as casually as he could manage. 

"Are you alright?" Yoongi questioned, his face showing the same concern as Jin did earlier that morning. 

Jungkook almost wanted to punch the elder in the face for asking him that, how dare he? After all he said that night, suddenly he was all worried about how Jungkook was? His hand curled into a fist and he had to force himself to relax. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, hyung, why?" The vocalist replied, keeping his tone light and believable. 

Yoongi rolled his eyes. "Cut the , Jungkook, I heard you crying last night." 

Jungkook bit his cheek, the cut from yesterday was still tender and it stung as the taste of blood filled his mouth again. 

"It's nothing, seriously." Jungkook replied, dropping his eyes to the scuffed floor, he didn't know how to explain to Yoongi that he had heard everything and he was embarrassed that the rapper had heard him crying all night. 

Jungkook jumped slightly as Yoongi put his hand on the teenager's shoulder and squeezed once, The vocalist was sure it was suppose to be soothingly, like Jin had down, but instead it made his blood boil. 

"Are you stressed or missing home?" Yoongi continued, ducking down to make eye contact with Jungkook. 

That was the last straw for the teenager, he scoffed and shoved Yoongi's hand off him. 

"No, it isn't stress or homesickness." Jungkook snapped, glaring at the rapper. 

Yoongi blinked in surprise at the younger's sudden hostile behavior, he reflexively took a step back. 

"Its the fact that you think of me as a stupid, sweet face child who has no place in this group because I don't have the style and should instead be the background dancer to something." Jungkook snarled, his voice getting louder and attracting the attention of the other members, who shared worried looks and hesitantly stood back, not sure if they should get involved or not. 

Yoongi flinched as his words were thrown back in his face, he opened his mouth to reply but didn't get the chance. 

"Don't bother saying anything, you've already said enough." Jungkook hissed, before snatching up his jacket and duffel and storming out of the studio, slamming the door behind him for good measure. 

-

Jungkook wasn't sure how many blocks he had walked before the angry tears blurred his vision so badly that everything looked like a blob of color that was bleeding together, he stopped walking to brush away the tears. He had ruined everything, he had handled it exactly like a kid would've, he'd had a plan too, he was going to show everyone how talented he was and they were all going to be impressed and Yoongi would've eaten his words. Instead, he had disrespectfully thrown them in the elder's face and had stormed out, exactly what he had told himself he wasn't going to do. 

Yoongi was probably gloating about how right he was about Jungkook right now, hell, they were all probably laughing at his childish antics. That thought made the tears come faster and harder, and Jungkook wiped them harshly away, he took a deep breath before continuing to walk, he didn't know where he would go, he couldn't go back to the dorms, he would have to sometime, but he knew the group would be there sometime and couldn't face the them, not yet. He didn't want to go home, his mother would notice his red eyes and demand to know what was wrong and he didn't want to talk about it, not to her at least. He slowed down as he tried to figure out where to go, his mind going through everyone he knew before coming up with a name. Jungkook looked up at the street sign before taking a turn and crossing the street. 

-

Jungkook banged on the door for the second time, he knew his highschool friend was in there, he could hear him grumbling from inside. 

"Kyung, I know you're in there." Jungkook shouted through the door. "It's me, Jeon Jungkook." 

There was silence from inside and Jungkook was about ready to give up and find somewhere else to hide while he gained his courage to face his group. The door swung open and Jungkook jumped back, looking up, he was met with the appearance of a thin, tall, black haired boy, his white t shirt was rumpled and his jeans had holes in the knees, his hair was a mess and his had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, it was almost down to the filter, dark bags stuck out on the boy's pale skin below his brown eyes. 

Jungkook knew that this boy was his age, but yet he looked older, like he had been through enough for a lifetime and was sick of everything the world had to offer. 

"Why didn't you just say it was Jungkook instead of banging on my goddamn door?" Kyung asked, leaning against the door frame, he sighed and rubbed his face. "Whatever, just come in." He moved to the side, allowing enough space for Jungkook to enter, once the teenage was inside he closed the door. 

Jungkook took off his shoes and made his way to the couch in the living room, flopping down, he covered his face with his hands, he heard Kyung snort above him. 

"The hell happened to you? Aren't you suppose to be a big shot trainee getting ready to debut or some ?" Jungkook's friend asked, sitting down next to the distraught teenagers. 

"You shouldn't swear so much, your parents will hear." Jungkook mumbled from behind his hands. 

Kyung snorted again. "My parents are never home, now stop changing the topic and tell me whats going on." The black haired boy took the cigarette out of his mouth and flicked it into the ash tray laying on the table as he pulled his pack and lighter out of his front pocket, lighting another cigarette 

"You shouldn't smoke so much, or inside, its poor taste." Jungkook commented, dropping his hands from his face as he watched Kyung inhale the smoke. Kyung gave him an annoyed look. 

"You can either tell me why you've been crying or I can kick you out of my house." The teenager threatened. 

Jungkook stared up at the ceiling, he took a deep breath, inhaling some of the smoke Kyung exhaled in the process, and began to explain. 

-

Kyung let out a loud laugh. "You're ing kidding me." 

Jungkook glared at his friend. "No, I'm not, and I don't understand why you're laughing, you're suppose to be my friend." 

"I am your friend, Kookie, but you're acting stupid, so what if they don't like you, so what if they see you as a kid, you are a kid." The black haired boy replied, rolling his eyes as he rolled his cigarette between his fingers. 

"You're a kid too." Jungkook pointed out indigently. 

"But I'm not the one who is crying over it." Kyung shot back, before sighing and shaking his head. "Look, you're fine, Kookie, you've worked your off for this, don't screw it up because you're too inside your own head, you don't really know if they all think that about you. The only reason you're so upset that this Yoongi guy thinks so is because you like him." 

Jungkook flushed a dark pink. "I don't like him, we just met and he is rude." He mumbled, looking away. 

Kyung shrugged. "Whatever you want to believe. Just remember, don't you ing dare fall in love." He said, turning to look Jungkook, his face dead seriously. "Not for the first time with this guy." 

Jungkook bit his lip. "I don't think I have control over that, Kyung." 

The smoker picked at a frayed thread on his jeans. "Yeah, I told myself that too, and now everything just seems second best." 

He stood and dropped his cigarette into the ash tray, letting the smoke curl up and fade into the air, Jungkook stared at it, it looked like the steam that Namjoon's mug had let off last night. Jungkook's fingers itched to reach out, pick up the cigarette and take a drag of it, let it feel his lungs, it seemed to calm Kyung down, maybe it would help him forget all about the words Yoongi had said. 

"Come on, you can't hide here forever, go back to the dorm and apologize or whatever, you didn't blow me off a thousand times just so you could drop out when some guy said you didn't belong."  Kyung said, snapping Jungkook out of his thoughts. 

Jungkook nodded and stood as well, following Kyung to the front door and putting on his shoes. "I don't know what you're complaining about, I already said sorry about all those times, I bought you food." He replied. 

Kyung rolled his eyes again, "Get out of my house, ." 

Jungkook grinned and slipped out of the house and back onto the streets, when he glanced back at Kyung, he saw him lightening up another cigarette and the door slowly closing. Kyung's words echoed in his head. 

don't you ing dare fall in love

-

When Jungkook got back to the dorm he was tired and ashamed of his behavior, Kyung was right, it didn't matter what they thought, they were a group and they were just going to have to get use to him. 

Jungkook pushed opened the door and entered the dorm, taking off his shoes and heading down the hall, he almost made it to his room before he was ambushed by Namjoon. 

"Jungkook, where did you go? We were worried and the way you left was not exactly the best exit." Namjoon said. 

Jungkook flushed with shame. "I'm sorry, Namjoon-hyung." He apologized, bowing. "I shouldn't have said the things I did or acted that way, it was childish and I hope you do not think that is how I am." 

Namjoon shook his head. "Of course not, We understand how much pressure you are under at such a young age and Yoongi should not have spoken like that about you." 

Jungkook nodded. "Thank you, now, if you would excuse me, I would like to get some sleep." He said, moving down the hallway, but Namjoon called his name again and the teenager turned back to him. 

"Why do you smell like smoke?" The rapper asked. 

Jungkook cringed. "My friend is a smoker." He said, then disappeared down the hall and into his room. 

He sighed when he got into his room, closing his eyes and leaning against the door. 

"Jungkook?" A voice said. 

Jungkook jumped and his eyes shot open, landing on Yoongi, the dread from the first day meeting the group curled itself tighter in Jungkook's stomach. 

"Yoongi-hyung, I sincerely apologize for my behavior earlier today. What I said to you was highly disrespectful and-" Jungkook began, bowing.

"Jungkook, stop, look, it was my fault, I shouldn't have talked about you like that, you have nothing to apologize for." Yoongi interrupted, stepping closer to Jungkook, waiting for him to straighten, once he did, Yoongi pulled Jungkook into a hug, the teenager stiffened before relaxing against the elder man, it was comforting and warm and for the first time since meeting the group, Jungkook felt like he belonged, Jungkook wasn't sure how long they stayed together not saying anything before Yoongi spoke. 

"Jungkook?" 

"Yeah?" Jungkook replied. 

"Why do you smell like cigarette smoke?" 

Jungkook just laughed into Yoongi's shoulder. 

-

The few days after that were better, still awkward, and Jungkook was still hesitant around Yoongi, he only spoke to him when Yoongi asked him something directly, and he didn't spend too much time in the room, where Yoongi could usually be found on his laptop working on their debuting song, instead Jungkook spent more time out in the main area with Hoseok and Jimin, playing video games or practicing their dance routines, he had come to enjoy their company as well as their friendship, despite his tendency to leave the hyung off of Jimin's name as well as shove him away when he got too close.

He tried his best to tell himself that he didn't feel hurt that Yoongi didn't say anything about him never being around him or even making an attempt to hang out with Jungkook.  Ever since that hug, Yoongi just went back to ignoring Jungkook's existence and sure, the teenager hadn't expecting them to become best friends and fall in love and all that, but he at least thought the older man would glance up when he entered the room, maybe engage him a bit more, but he didn't and as much as Jungkook told himself he didn't care, his chest always clenched a bit tighter at the sight of Yoongi talking to the others in the group. 

They had rescheduled the recording when Jungkook had left the studio so abruptly, and as Jungkook entered the studio he almost wanted to turn and leave again, his palms were sweaty and he felt sick as he approached the recording room, he was confident in his voice, but what if that wasn't what they were looking for? What if they wanted something else?

Jungkook deep a breath, before beginning to sing, he tried to ignore the stares of the group as he sang, instead focusing on the words, once he was finished he turned to the members, anxiously awaiting their judgment, but instead of disappointed comments he had anticipated, the five men swarmed around him, patting him on the back and complimenting his voices, Jungkook made eye contact with Yoongi who gave him a slight smile and nod in approval and for the first time since meeting them, Jungkook's chest felt light. 

-

Jungkook stared up at the ceiling and listened to the quiet tapping of Yoongi's typing, the teenager had just finished his homework and rolled over onto his back, he turned his head to the right and took in Yoongi's profile, he was breathtaking, his hair was a mess again and there was a slight crease between his eyebrows as he concertraced on the laptop screen, Jungkook wanted to reach over and smooth it out with his fingers, the teenager flushed deeply at the thought and turned his head back to look at the ceiling again, he silently praised and cursed whatever had led to them sharing a room. 

The teenager bit his tongue as he turned back to look at the rapper, he had been wanting to ask him something, but he was afraid that the rapper would reject him, laugh at him, he knew he could ask Namjoon or Hoseok, but he didn't want to, he wanted Yoongi to teach him to rap, it was either him or no one at all. 

"What?" Yoongi asked suddenly, making the teenager jump.

"Huh?" Jungkook replied, then mentally kicked himself for the dumb response. 

"You've been staring at me and you obviously have a question, so ask." The rapper replied, turning to look at Jungkook, his expression expectant. 

Jungkook flushed again, more out of embarrassment than thoughts of touching Yoongi. 

"Oh, uh, I-I was thinking that maybe you could teach me to, uh, rap." Jungkook stumbled over his words, his flush darkening as he stared at the wall, not able to make eye contact.

There was silence and suddenly he felt like an idiot, of course Yoongi didn't want to teach him, he had better things to do than teach a sixteen year old kid how to rap. 

"I mean, you don't have to, it's fine, I can just ask someone else, sorry." Jungkook babbled, he clenched the bedding in his fist. 

"I'll do it." Yoongi replied. 

"I know it was-" Jungkook started before he blinked, the older man's words sinking in. "Wait, really?" He asked, sitting up and looking at Yoongi. 

The rapper shrugged. "Sure, don't see why not, I just have a few rules. One: listen to me, two: do what I say and three: practice."  He listed off on his fingers. 

Jungkook nodded excitedly. Yoongi was actually going to teach him and the ruled weren't hard to follow. 

"What are you waiting for? Come here and sit down." The rapper said, closing his laptop, setting it aside and patting bed. 

Jungkook scrambled across the room and sat down on the older man's bed, giving him his full attention. Yoongi ran his hand through his hair as he began to explain rapping to the teenager and Jungkook did his best to focus on his words and not the way he wished he could run his own fingers through the older man's hair. 

When they finished the lesson, it was late and Yoongi grinned at him and ruffled his hair, before shooing him off the bed and opening his laptop again. As Jungkook crawled into bed, he couldn't help smiling to himself and if you asked him what Kyung had told him, Jungkook wouldn't have been able to answer even if his life depended on it. 

-

Things were easier after that, it became also a routine, in the mornings they would go to dance practice, going to recording studios, and come back to the dorms where Jungkook would play video games with Hoseok and Jimin or hang out with Namjoon and Jin and at night before going to bed he and Yoongi would practice rapping, then Yoongi would ruffle his hair and send him off to bed with a friendly smile and every night before he went to bed he tried to remember what his friend had warned him, but he never quite could, it annoyed him sometimes, it was at the front of him mind, the tip of his tongue, sometimes he would be so close to recalling the words, but then Yoongi's fingers would be in his hair and he would forget what he was trying to remember in the first place. 

As the days passed Yoongi started engaging the group more, coming out into the main area of the dorm, stealing the remote from Jimin so he could play video games with Hosoek, sometimes he hung out with Jin in the kitchen but not often, Namjoon and Yoongi got along rather well, worked together on lyrics, laughed and joked with each other, sometimes rapping out anything that came to mind.

Sometimes Jungkook was jealous of the ease of which they had together, it seems so nice, so comfortable, but then Yoongi would snatch the remote from Jungkook's hands and sit so close to him that their thighs would touch and Jungkook would feel the warmth that radiated off the rapper and all he would feel was the way his skin tingled from their touch and the butterflies in his stomach and just like that the words on the tip of his tongue were swallowed and forgotten fully in the whirlwind of butterfly wings. 

The more time Jungkook spent around Yoongi the more he felt himself develop feelings for the man, and although he had never fell in love or even had a relationship, he wasn't nervous or freaked out about his feelings at all, it felt right, like he had been waiting for Yoongi to come into his life all these years, that it was Yoongi he was meant to fall in love with, and although he wasn't in love with the rapper yet, he knew it was only a matter of time before he did fall in love and he almost looked forward to it.  

That time came not too long after that, it was late at night or early in the morning, Jungkook and Yoongi were sitting on the rapper's bed and Jungkook had challenged Yoongi to rap about the first thing that came to mind, Yoongi had rolled his eyes but after enough pleading and trash talking, the rapper gave in. 

"Fine, what do you want me to rap about?" Yoongi relented with an exasperated expression, but Jungkook knew he didn't really mind, he had been with Yoongi long enough that he was getting good at reading him. 

Jungkook slid his eyes across the room as he tried to think of something Yoongi could rap about, he tilted his head to the side and looked up at the ceiling as he searched his brain. 

Yoongi sighed. "Hurry up." 

Jungkook bit his lip and he wasn't sure if it was the late hour or some kind of surge of courage, but he blurted out "Me."

Yoongi blinked in surprised, before shrugging and beginning his rap, in it he called Jungkook kookie and had a verse about his singing that made Jungkook flush lightly, and look down at Yoongi's bedding and as much as he tried he couldn't keep his smile contained, after Yoongi finished his rap, they stared at each other in silence, but then Yoongi broke and started laughing, it was contagious and soon Jungkook began to laugh as well. Yoongi leaned forward and rested his head against Jungkook's shoulder as he laughed and Jungkook's knew, he knew he was in love with the rapper, he wanted nothing more than to pull back, tip Yoongi's head up and kiss him full on the mouth, but he didn't, instead he laughed harder and smiled so wide his cheeks hurts. He understood why Yoongi had taken the picture of the black haired boy and himself, Jungkook wanted to stay with Yoongi in this moment forever, the moment when he realized that he was completely and utterly in love with Yoongi, and nothing could feel better. 

-

Harsh reality came crashing down on Jungkook a few weeks later, and he was finally able to remember the words his friend had told him, and he cursed himself for forgetting in the first place, for letting himself get swept up in Yoongi and thinking that his life was some kind of movie where there were always happy endings and everyone who was suppose to fall in love together did. 

Instead, all Jungkook got was the bitter after taste of his heart breaking and the feeling like he was going to die.

Yoongi had been distantly lately, he had left with Namjoon at the beginning of the week to go the recording studio and had come back, his eyes glued to his phone and smiling slightly as he typed out a text. Jungkook had ignored it at the time, practicing with Jimin, but then night had rolled around and Yoongi barely paid attention to Jungkook, instead he kept texting, letting out quiet laughs sometimes and refusing to tell Jungkook what was funny. He cut the rap lessons short that night, and Jungkook could feel his heart sinking, but he shook his head and went to sleep. 

It continued like that for awhile, the rap lesson getting shorter and shorter till they stopped altogether, Yoongi spent most of the time writing lyrics and texting, and his relationship with Jungkook went back to how it was when they first met, Jungkook simply no longer existed to Yoongi, as much as that hurt, it didn't hurt as much as the reason why. 

As time went on Yoongi started being gone more often, Namjoon kept joking that Yoongi was with his boyfriend and Jungkook could feel the ache in his chest hurt as the butterflies in his stomach died, he kept telling himself that it was a joke, that it wasn't true, but that didn't make it hurt less. 

Everything came to a head one night when Yoongi stumbled into the room, it was late, almost four in the morning and Jungkook had given up waiting for Yoongi to come back, Jungkook had finally gotten to bed, after shoving all thoughts of Yoongi out of his head, and cried himself to sleep, but when the door to his room swung open and Yoongi haphazardly made his way into the bedroom, Jungkook woke up.

Jungkook groaned and looked towards the figure, the light from the moon shining into the room revealed it was the rapper. 

"Yoongi?" He whispered, confused on what was going on. 

Yoongi didn't respond, instead, he took a few more steps and flopped down onto Jungkook, who yelped and shoved the older man off him and to the side, where he curled up around Jungkook and wrapped an arm around his waist. Jungkook froze. 

"Yoongi, what are you doing?" The teenager hissed, his noise wrinkled as the smell of sake entered his nose. Jungkook's eyes widened when he realized something. Yoongi was drunk. 

Yoongi didn't say anything, instead he just breathed small puffs of air into the side of Jungkook's neck, the teenager stayed perfectly still, not sure what to do, after what felt like eternity he slowly move his hand up and shook Yoongi harshly, the older man groaned. 

"Yoongi, wake up." Jungkook demanded, he was suddenly angry, how dare Yoongi just show up drunk and curl up around him like nothing was wrong? After weeks of denying Jungkook's existence?

Yoongi's eyes blinked open. "Jungkook, I need to tell you something, cause you're my friend and its important." The older man slurred. 

Jungkook held his breath for a moment before letting it out, he swallowed nervously. "What?" He asked.

"I have a boyfriend." Yoongi said simply, like he hadn't just crushed Jungkook's whole world. 

Jungkook sat up quickly and glared at Yoongi, his chest hurt and his eyes burned. "What?" He repeated, "You have a boyfriend? When?" 

Yoongi rubbed his eyes and looked up at Jungkook, frowning. "Yeah? I just told you that, and I guess since last night, or well officially or whatever." 

"Last night? A boyfriend? What the hell?" Jungkook snapped, his hands balling into fists. 

Yoongi set his jaw and sat up so he was the same height as Jungkook. "What is your problem? Why are you so angry? Are you homophobic or some ?" 

"No!" Jungkook replied immediately. "I-I just-I." He just what? Was heartbroken that Yoongi had chosen someone else? That Yoongi had found someone to love and it wasn't him? That Jungkook was now stuck with this love for Yoongi while felt nothing for the teenager?  Jungkook covered his face with his hands. 

"Yoongi, please go to your own bed, I'm tired and you're drunk." Jungkook said from behind his hands. 

Yoongi didn't say anything or move for a while, then he sighed and got up. flopping on his own bed and falling asleep. Jungkook sat against the wall, staring at the sleeping form of the older rapper. How could he have been so stupid? of course Yoongi would never want him, he was a stupid kid, how could he have fooled himself with this?  Why did he have to fall in love with the man. Jungkook almost wished he could have a picture of the night he fell in love with Yoongi, so he could tear it up and maybe his love would get destroyed along with the picture. 

As Jungkook laid back down and began to fall asleep, Kyung's words finally came back to him. 

Don't you ing dare fall in love.

The warning echoed in Jungkook's head once more and he let the fabric of his pillow soak up his tears, falling asleep to the words being repeated over and over again in his mind, why couldn't he have just listened?