I call this thing "my drugs", eventuallyi got addicted.

FANFICs are my DRUGs

Different stories where my favourite artists (EXO) are the main character along with the original character or imaginable character or if you consider this character as yourself. Some stories defined my own story and some stories where I only dreamed on, because it will never happen in real life.

When I'm happy, I read.

When I'm sad i read.

When I'm anxious, I read

and so on

- basically, I always read.

I'm happy that some of the stories that I've read before are now books.

I want to acknowledge the story entitled "WANDERLUST" sorry, I forgot the author's name, is it Mei? sorry :( but this story made me happy, sad, in love, heartbroken and satisfied. I'm not telling that i can relate, because the story is so far from the story of mylife, it's just that somehow, i want this to be my story and Luhan is my partner (sarreh, he's my BIAS/MY LOVE). Kidding. The story simply made me fall in love with the main characters, not just because Luhan is the main there (maybe, even if the main char is not Luhan, I'll still fall in love with the characters) but because of the story line, okay - enough with this. I'm fangirling over the story.

 When Luhan nullified his contract in SM and he's not part of EXO already, I felt that my fandom world will end - but still, I want to hold on, I don't want to give up because I know that time EXO needs my support and most of all, LUHAN.

at first i can take it, seeing EXO without Luhan, but when time goes by, instead of accepting the fact that he's not part of the group is killing me slowly. 

then I read some fics, different fics where Luhan is the main along with some exo members, HUNHAN fics, just to ease the pain -

i know i'm just running from this , but I need to read.

A part of me knows that this is wrong because I will never move on - but . This is so hard. 

This is so hard :(