Kang Jiyoon let the pen slip out her fingers and it landed on the wooden desk with a tiny thud. She inhaled deeply and sank into her seat, resting her head on the desk. Why was writing so hard?

An aspiring writer, Jiyoon was tasked with writing her first novel, and she'd done well, up till now. Supposedly the most impacting part of the storyline, it was the part where the main lead Hyerim realizes her affections for her best friend. Yet Jiyoon was unable to express it with words, how does someone truly feel when they've experienced love? How do they act? 

Jiyoon was able to write clearly the part where Hyerim had felt lost, because Jiyoon too had experienced how it felt to be lost and confused, after that incident, but she was long past that stage, and so was Hyerim. But true love has not yet been felt by Jiyoon, so she wasn't exactly sure how to express it clearly. Not yet, at least. Knowing this, she decided to spend a day or two at Namsan Seoul Tower. 

Namsan Seoul Tower was a few stops away from where Jiyoon stayed, so she decided to go onto the rooftop terrace, where many couples visited. As Jiyoon ascended the steps leading to the rooftop, she spotted a series of colourful locks locked onto the railings of the tower. Lovers of all kinds where there, and Jiyoon watched, maybe a little jealously, as they linked arms and snuck kisses. At age 27, Jiyoon felt as if she were lacking behind, having had never experieced love of any kind. 

How lovely, Jiyoon thought inwardly as she took a seat on one of the nearby benches. So engrossed in intently staring at smitten pairs, trying to record all their little actions in a tiny booklet she had brought along, she didn't notice that a stranger who had been sitting on the bench this whole while, even before she had even sat on it, had been carefully observing her. Peeking over her shoulder, he finally spoke up, giving Jiyoon a tiny start.

"What are you doing?"

Jiyoon looked up, confused as to his question. "What? I'm taking notes."

"Linking arms... Spring in step..." The stranger recited from her notes. "Sounds very much like you're just creeping on other people."

Jiyoon stared at him with a tinge of confusion. She didn't know some people could be so open. She giggled and explained, "I'm not creeping on anybody. I'm writing my first novel, and I'm observing how lovers act."

She paused.

"Although I'm not quite sure how they would feel..."

"Ahh... So that means you haven't been in love?" The stranger seemed to ask, though Jiyoon thought it sounded a bit teasingly.

"You could say I haven't been in love, been loved or experienced anything to do with love..." Jiyoon wasn't quite sure why she opened up so much to this mere stranger, perhaps he seemed to give off a nice vibe? "But why are you here anyway? You seem to be alone." 

"If I tell you, you might think I'm crazy," the stranger said simply. Jiyoon thought she was even crazier, telling a stranger so much about herself. 

"I won't."

He took a deep breath, and started. 

"I come here to observe couples too, just like you. But that's only because I miss my girlfriend. My... Dead ex-girlfriend. We used to come here a lot and I guess, I missed our memories. I miss her."

Jiyoon stopped writing. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"Hey..."

"Let's not talk about that shall we? I could help you with your story if you want. Here, tell you what. Here's my number," the man handed Jiyoon a namecard, it read Kim Hanbin but had no occupation stated. "Like my namecard? I made it myself. My name's Hanbin, what's yours?"

"Jiyoon... Kang..." She told him, a little uncertainty in her voice. 

"Call my someday Jiyoon, I'll be waiting. Alternatively, I'm here every time every day. Come find me. We could be friends."

Jiyoon nodded and decided that this would be all of the day, although she barely took any notes. Deciding to come back the next day, she hoped Hanbin wouldn't have lied about being their all the time. He seemed nice, and Jiyoon kind of likened his positivity and friendliness. Jiyoon wanted Hanbin to help her, not only that, but Jiyoon wanted to help Hanbin.

----------

Jiyoon had sculpted the first part of Hyerim's to be very much like hers. Simply a tragedy. Orphaned at nine years of age due to a freak accident which killed both her parents, she was left to fend for herself. Hyerim's life starts off like this, but now Hyerim has reached that turning point in her life, where she falls in love and Jiyoon doesn't know how to express it as she's never experienced love, even from family. As Jiyoon went to grab her notebook from her handbag, she noticed the namecard the strange man, Kim Hanbin, had given her slotted in between two pages. Maybe she should arrange to meet him, for he seemed, after all, quite pleasant. But Jiyoon wondered if Hanbin would really open up. Wouldn't he had been sore after, you know... Losing his girlfriend? Maybe it wouldn't have been a good idea to expect him to talk all about the love that was not meant to be.

Jiyoon still contemplated whether or not to give Hyerim a happy ending. If it was a happy ending, she would continue to observe, but if it were not, Jiyoon would ask Hanbin, and hopefully he would be able to help. 

Though she was rather drawn to Hanbin, Jiyoon decided instead to give Hyerim a happy ending. Hyerim had had a tough childhood, a romantic ending would have been best, even for readers. Jiyoon hoped she could end up like Hyerim, but she was always prepared for the worst. She wondered if dying single, alone and childless would be regretful.

----------

The next day at Namsan Seoul Tower, Jiyoon noticed that the same familiar figure was still sitting at that same bench, Hanbin hadn't lied after all. 

"Hello," Jiyoon greeted as she sat next to him. She noticed he didn't look quite as cheery as he did yesterday she wondered why. Her writer instincts told her it was because she had reminded him about his past, yet wasn't that the main reason he came here every day? What about his job? Didn't he have one?

"Ahh, Kang Jiyoon, you look great today," his tone didn't change like his face. "Are you here to observe couples again? There are other places to look though, or did you come here to find me?" 

Jiyoon could tell he was joking about the last part, but even she herself didn't know the answer to that. "Of course I am. I want my novel to be perfect. Are you really here every single day?"

"I guess, or whenever I'm free I guess, but I'm free a lot of the time."

Jiyoon could feel herself becoming more comfortable with Hanbin,  but it could have just been his easy-going personality that contributed to this feeling.

"Pardon me for intruding but what do you work as? As in, don't you have a job or anything? I mean..."

"I'm a writer just like you, but recently I've been unable to write due to the missing of presence of a certain loved one. So I'm taking a break from it. I've made enough money anyways, and money can't bring anyone back to life."

"Are you referring to your girlfriend?"

"Ex."

"Right."

"So do you need my help with your novel?"

Jiyoon wanted a happy ending, so she thought rejecting Hanbin's help would have been the best. But at the last moment, she decided a little input would be nice, so she asked to meet him at Smooth, a smoothie shop just round the corner where she lived, insisting they served the best in town. 

---------

Hanbin thought God had hated him for giving him his darned life. Hanbin was crazy. He was crazy and he knew it. He refused any medical help, but he knew he had violent tendencies. He knew he was being selfish for trying to get close to Jiyoon, but he couldn't help it. Just from the single conversations alone, he liked her a lot. But he knew he couldn't keep his mental disability a secret for long, and he knew he would have to leave Jiyoon be it sooner or later. He didn't want it to happen, but he still wondered if dying single, alone and childless would be painful. 

He had reached the smoothie shop and found Jiyoon. He quickly shuffled over and took a seat opposite her.

"Jiyoon, you're here."

----------

The next few months involved the two meeting each other and sharing ideas with each other. This led Jiyoon to finding out she had nursed a crush on Kim Hanbin. Their simple conversations turned into long-winded enigmatic and animated ones. They began to enjoy and look forward to each other's company. One thing was for sure, they both liked each other. Thursday became the fixed day they both met, and both of them missed a single Thursday, not like they ever wanted to. But Jiyoon soon realized that she should tell him she like him, though worried he might not have been over his girlfriend. His ex. Jiyoon thought it would have been the most professional thing to do, if that made sense.

--------

Hanbin feared the coming of this day.

"I kind of like you, I'm not sure if you feel the same way, especially since your ex-girlfriend... Regardless, I completely understand if you do not want this to happen. I won't get hurt."

Hanbin knew Jiyoon was lying through her teeth. She would get hurt, he was once a writer, and this part was the part where the female lead was unable to let go of her feelings and leave. Jiyoon would leave if Hanbin lied about his feelings. 

Hanbin tried to say the words, but only managed out a 'no' as he choked up, tears threatening to fall out. 

"It-It's okay... We could still... I don't know..." 

Hanbin thought Jiyoon was just putting up a brave front. But surprisingly, she curled into a genuine smile. 

"It's alright, I don't know what went through me. So let's forget about this ok? So let's go back. What should Hyerim do now?"

Hanbin was shocked, because he realized Jiyoon seemed affected only the least. She wasn't nervous, she didn't talk quickly and anxiously. She seemed perfectly calm. Hanbin realized this wasn't the way to go.

"Listen, why do you do this. We... I can't love you. How can this partnership be professional anymore. I'm sorry but-"

Jiyoon seemed to shatter at his words. Hanging noticed her smile falter. 

"I mean, can't we still be friends? Platonic friends? I really enjoy your company and I just... I really don't want you to leave my side."

Hanbin wanted to shout he was frustrated. "We can't." He didn't want to cry in front of her, so he stood up and started to walk off, feeling the once cheery aura which seemed to warm his heart and sides whenever he was with Jiyoon and even afterwards disappear. 

"I'm sorry but I'm crazy. Crazy." He didn't realize Jiyoon had heard him.

----------

One of the things Hanbin had casually mentioned on one of the Thursday was the location of his parents' apartment. 

"I don't live with my parents any more, but they live on the third floor of this building," Hanbin had once said as he pointed to a rundown building facing the cafe they were at. We have a bird door chime and it gets annoying for it rings every time the wind blew too strong. I'm secretly glad I moved out of there, to be honest, I had really wanted to throw it out but my mum wouldn't let me."

Jiyoon found the door with a blue bird door chime so he knocked slowly, trying to calm her racing heartbeat at the same time. She could hear some noises from inside, and it sounded like it belonged to a teenage girl.

"Mum! I'll get it!"

Jiyoon now sat a little uncomfortably in the soft settee in the family's living room as Hanbin's sister, Hanbyul started to bombard her with a ton of questions. 

Who are you to oppa? Are you his girlfriend? Do you like him? Why are you here? Where's he? Did he tell you about me? Who are exactly ARE you. 

Jiyoon remembered Hanbin had actually told her about Hanbyul, but she couldn't quite answer the other questions, so she decided to be honest. Hanbyul was told the whole story. Mum seemed to overhear and the duo nodded in empathy. They all seemed to share the same thinking but Jiyoon didn't know what.

Mum decided to help.

"Our Hanbin often calls himself crazy."

Jiyoon nodded because she realized that too, on several occasions, Hanbin would mention ever so simply that he was crazy, but never elaborated. 

"That's because... It's kind of true. You see, he has violent tendencies. For no reason at all, he could go into a foreign state of mind and start hurting others physically. It's weird, and he's a good guy, he really is. He moved out because he didn't want to hurt us. He tells every girl he meets about some dead girlfriend but he's just lying. He's just using that as an excuse. He doesn't want to hurt anyone so he lies. We're sorry on behalf of him. He just likes separating himself from everyone because he is that selfless."

Jiyoon finally understood. 

"Sweet Jiyoon, we'll talk to him. We hope this doesn't change your view of him, we honestly do. He's different, and we might sound a bit selfish about this but we hope you would accept him for how he is. He might be violent but he cares... It's just... Trust me, Hanbin would never do so much for a girl he didn't like, I promise."

"I get it." Jiyoon said simply and decided it was time she left. 

From her hurried expression, Hanbyul and Mum thought they might have caused yet another girl who had fallen for Hanbin to leave again, due to his condition. They thought wrong.

----------

Honestly, Jiyoon never thought she would do something like this for a man. But Jiyoon did it. Hanbin had once given her his address in Jeju, a place he said he would go to whenever he needed some time to think. He even offered the entire place to Jiyoon in case she needed a quiet place to write. Hanbin was thoughtful like that. So Jiyoon flew so Jeju, a place she had never visited. A foreign place all by herself? She had learnt independence from a young age, so this meant nothing. Jiyoon wanted to cry when she finally found the tiny villa the address pointed her to. In her hands, she clutched a copy of a storybook Hanbin had written. She had only recently found out that renowned writer who wrote under the pen name of B.I was actually Hanbin himself through Hanbyul. She'd read the book over the duration of the plane ride and it was very very good. The male lead was an outcast in society and the book journaled his journey as he came of his shell and accepted who he truly was, looking past his securities. Jiyoon wished she could write like Hanbin did - being able to express without truly feeling or doing. 

Jiyoon's heart seemed to flip as she rang the doorbell. It only took a couple moments before the writer opened his door drearily before freshening up almost immediately upon seeing who it was. He wished he could have said something, but Jiyoon didn't let him, she ran towards him and engulfed him into her embrace. "I must be crazy for coming here."

Hanbin seemed to sigh. "I'm crazier."

"I know."

"Know what?"

"Know that you're crazy."

"Oh yeah?"

"Hanbyul told me."

"You went to find her?" Hanbin wanted to look Jiyoon in the eye and seemed to struggle out, making Jiyoon hug him even tighter.

"I did. I know you're crazy and I don't care."

"I could hurt you."

"I don't care."

"Like really bad."

"I really don't care." 

"You don't?"

"I don't."

"You're crazy."

"You too."

"I'm crazy for you."

Jiyoon paused. She was experiencing love. She now knew exactly how Hyerim's story would end. Happily.

"You're driving me crazy."

Hyerim's story was a best seller.