He screwed up.

That was the only thing Jongkook managed to think as he helplessly watched Gwangsoo walk away angrily from the car park they had been in, barely noticing Haha approaching him with a shocked expression.

“I’ve never seen Gwangsoo that mad,” his friend said incredulously. “What in the world did you do?”

Jongkook glanced at him briefly, his gaze returning to the gangly figure disappearing back into the building they had just exited before everything seemed to explode, shocking a few other people on their way out with what was undoubtedly his rarely seen, furious expression. Jongkook would have laughed at the confounded expressions of the people quietly making way for the fuming actor, if it hadn’t been for the fact that he very well knew why the other was mad. Needless to say, he felt extremely guilty for making Gwangsoo angrier than he had ever seen him.

“It’s more about what I didn’t do,” he sighed tiredly, turning to his companion.

Haha raised his eyebrows confusedly. “What didn’t you do then?”

Jongkook put his hands on his hips and tilted his head back to stare at the darkening sky exasperatedly, thinking of how he, just a couple of weeks ago, would be on his way home with Gwangsoo for dinner, not a care in the world.

Well, obviously, that had changed.

He had thought he could handle it. That his realization wouldn’t have brought as many problems and complications as it had. But clearly he didn’t have as much control over himself, and his body, as he previously thought. Which, in turn, had prompted him to distance himself slightly – because he absolutely did not want Gwangsoo to find out through a badly controlled reaction on his part and make it awkward– while he still tried to figure out if his feelings were genuine or just a misunderstanding of some sort.

These past few weeks had made him begin to think it was the former.

Why?

Because his heart always managed to skip a beat and almost lodge itself in his throat when Gwangsoo touched him. Because he felt all warm and fuzzy inside when the younger gave him his brightest smile. Because when the other laughed that unadultered and carefree laugh only the ones closest to him had the privilege to hear, he felt so happy he thought he was going to burst. Because whenever he looked into Gwangsoo’s eyes – amused or serious – he lost his train of thought and the world around him faded away. Because his speaking abilities all but disappeared whenever he talked to him, no matter how hard he tried to have a normal conversation with the younger man.

And he was okay with it. Strangely enough.

He was so okay with it he was starting to fantasize about how life with the younger, as a couple, would be like. How it would feel to be able to call the other – who always managed to put a smile on peoples faces, who made everyone like him effortlessly, who was like a ray of sunshine after a cloudy day – his.

All that was, however, seemingly impossible. Not only because he had managed to make Gwangsoo extremely mad at him, but because he knew the chances of the other ever feeling the same for him were slim. Next to none, even.

Still, he was going to let him know. He was going to tell Gwangsoo why things had been as they had been. Because he needed to let his friend know, to make him understand and give him a chance to reject him or try to still be his friend. Although, he seemingly had screwed up while trying to find the time and place (also a whole bunch of courage) to tell the other what had been bothering him.

“What I didn’t do was telling him what the problem was,” Jongkook said to a waiting Haha.

The shorter looked more confused than ever, but patted his Hyung’s shoulder in support.

Jongkook wasn’t so sure how much support he would get from his friend, or anyone really, if he actually knew what his problem was. They had never talked about stuff like that, never had the need too, so he didn’t really know where he had his friends in that department. He just hoped that when the time came, Haha – or anyone else – would not be too angry or disgusted with him.

And he hoped Gwangsoo wouldn’t hate him too much.