He didn’t feel good.

He felt like crap.

He didn’t want to be here. No, rephrase: he didn’t want to let his fans see him like this.  

As soon as the chorus for Overdose ended, he quickly sped offstage, collapsing in a seat off to the side of the stage. He hunched over and breathed heavily, trying to control the growing urge to puke all over the stage. His stomach was churning violently, making him feel dizzy and faint while his hands were shaking slightly. He could feel the coordinate noonas frantically wiping the accumulating sweat off his face, asking if he was okay and handing him a bottle of water.

In the back of his mind, he noticed camera flashes all around him, recording the performance and maybe even recording him.

‘No, I can’t let them see me like this.’

Everything was moving so quickly for him to relax and control his burning stomach—but all he could focus on was the performance.

When the first signs of sickness hit him during the Black Pearl performance, he knew that he was going to be in trouble. However, he had decided that he was going to put all his energy into this performance, no matter how sick he was.

“I can’t disappoint my fans,” he whispered to himself, barely audible. “They stood behind us despite all the obstacles we have been through this year. We couldn’t have won these awards without them. I have to remain strong.”

Chanyeol shut his eyes, his heart thumping painfully in exertion.

When his manager told him and the others that they were going to practice the dance choreography for the MAMA awards in Hong Kong several weeks in advanced, despite the fact that he had a severe cold, he plastered a fake, enthusiastic smile on his face. He was Chanyeol, and it was a philosophy of his to never complain, even if he was overworked and underpaid, even if he were on his deathbed, he would have to perform. He didn’t want anyone to worry about him—especially Suho, who would never let him hear the end of it for being careless about his health.

 “Please don’t worry,” he told the Exo members who were concerned about him when he barely ate before the performance due to his upset stomach. “Think about the fans; the performance is more important than my condition.”

No matter how long dance practices were, this thought was the only thing that kept him going for the past several weeks. He imagined the looks on the fan’s faces, motivating him even further.

Although he was focused on the performance and the fans, his mind drifted to Kris and Luhan, thinking about where and what they were doing.

Chanyeol remembered distinctly that Kris had struggled during some performances when he was in Exo. Kris would confine in him that the company was overworking them and treating them as though they were machines.

“I don’t like the way they treat us. We’re humans, not robots, Chanyeol,” Kris once said to him, after a tiring performance. They didn’t get sufficient rest before heading off to another concert. “We’re just like every other human being: we need sleep; we need rest; we need food. The only difference is that we’re idols.”

Although he didn’t say anything in response to Kris, Chanyeol secretly agreed. SM was overworking them. He could see that everyone was tired, so tired, but he didn’t have the courage to speak up.

In the same way, Luhan, too, became deathly ill because he was overworked during the Exo: Lost Planet concerts. He remembered seeing Luhan lying in his bed, extremely pale and sweating profusely.

“Hyung, are you alright? How are you feeling?” he asked Luhan one day. Luhan sent him a weak smile.

“Define alright.”

It was then that he realized an impending lawsuit was coming.

When he heard that Kris filed a lawsuit, his stomach dropped. Kris would no longer be beside him and take care of him while he was sick, like right now. His hyung would no longer joke around with him during and after performances; no one would treat him to hotpot or buy him clothes whenever he wanted.

At the same time, he was mad at Kris for leaving. He didn’t think of the fans or of the other members. The concert was right around the corner and Kris decided to drop a huge bomb on everyone. It was hard on the remaining eleven members to rearrange the dancing formation; practices were everyday for hours—morning to night. What little break they had was practically rare.

Kris didn’t think of how he felt. He relied on Kris for so many things; Kris was his pillar and how his pillar collapsed.

Luhan’s lawsuit was something he saw coming clearly, unlike Kris’, which was a gradual build up. Luhan was getting sicker and sicker, but SM kept pushing him to perform. It was unfair for Luhan to suffer; he needed rest and SM wasn’t allowing that.

Sometimes he wanted out. He was tempted to follow in his hyungs’ footsteps and play the lawsuit card—but he knew what he was getting into when he signed with SM entertainment.

He had always wanted to be famous; fans meant everything to him. He couldn't give up now, no matter how tired he felt.

Chanyeol swallowed heavily, taking another deep breath before swaggering to his feet and heading to stand beside the other members, waiting for the cue to return onstage.

A/N: My heart dropped to my stomach when I saw that video. Chanyeol always overworks himself; I know Exo means a lot to him, but he needs rest. He's going to get even sicker if SM pushes Exo to release another album in January. Although I'm really excited to see their new album, their health is more important to me. :( I can wait another half a year if it means that they will be healthy.

I'm not trying to bash SM, if that's what you guys think (contrary, I respect SM and I believe it's a very well respected and well-rounded company), however, the way they treat their idols is unbelievable...