H - Hypocorism

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Myungsoo enjoyed writing.

 

He wrote almost about everything – from something simple to as how his day went to rewriting better endings from the drama his mother watched, or to something more of the literature side. He just enjoyed conveying his feelings through beautiful strung words rather than everyday conversation. Myungsoo did not know how long he has enjoyed doing this, but he remembered his first muse to writing.

 

It was when he first saw his father coming home with a little boy in his embrace.

 

 

Myungsoo stared in awe at the little baby before him. He wonders how a living human could be so tiny. The boy’s mom chuckled, seeing how fascinated the young lad was. “You were once as tiny as him.” His eyes doubled, staring at the little creature yawning. His hands were reached out, as if trying to grasp something. Myungsoo slowly stretched his hand out in front of the baby. The younger squealed in delight, gripping the boy’s index finger. Something inside Myungsoo stirred that night, as the baby continued gripping on to his hand.

 

“We found him stranded in a basket,” Myungsoo’s father started. “The ship sunk and we tried to look for survivors, and we found him.” The man then gives a tattered letter to his wife, letting her read the contents. Myungsoo kept quiet, careful to not be caught out of bed. Soon after his parents finished their exchanges, the lights were turned off. Myungsoo then stepped out of his hiding corner, quickly grabbed the letter left on the kitchen table, and ran back to his room. He took out his little red flashlight from his bedside drawer, and hid beneath the confinements of his blanket. Myungsoo then started reading the letter.

 

 We may not survive over this, but please take care of our baby.

 

- Lee

 

The letter was brief and on point, Myungsoo thought. They were probably in a hurry, as the boy noticed how the last alphabet was abruptly longer then the rest of the writing. Myungsoo puts down the letter and turns his flashlight off. He remained in that state for a while. A lot of questions were circling in young Myungsoo’s mind – how the baby’s parents were doing, whether they survived, or how long the new small stranger would have to stay. Shaking his head, he tried to shake off his thoughts as he stashed his flashlight inside his drawer after. He carefully went down the stairs and put the letter back to the kitchen table, before hearing a cry near the living room.

 

He approached the upset baby, and carried him out of his baby box. He swayed the baby back and forth, lulling the little lullaby he had learnt from his mother. The baby soon stirred into sleep, right at his arms. Smiling, he carefully placed the baby back, and trudged up the stairs to return to his sleep.

“I hope you’d stay for long,” he whispers.

 

The following week, Myungsoo’s wish came true.

 

Myungsoo’s father announced that there were no more survivors from the tragedy.

 

 

Moonsoo grew up well.

 

He has good manners, does his chores well, and gets fairly good scores in school. He was fairly popular among the whole school, between both female and male students. Myungsoo did not fall short after, although his shy personality did cause him some setback. People found it funny how they were so alike yet so different in many ways.

 

Both were handsome, tall, and smart. But, Moonsoo was the sun, while Myungsoo was the rain. Moonsoo actively participated in sports, while Myungsoo prefer to seclude himself to read (or write but he prefers that to be kept a secret, even from Moonsoo). Myungsoo would wait in the library before fetching his brother after his extra basketball classes. Afterwards they would walk home together, the trips mostly filled with Moonsoo talking and Myungsoo simply listening. The younger did not mind how his older brother rarely talks, since he knew the older prefers to listen. Then they would reach home, eat dinner, and be back on their respective rooms before meeting again the next morning. Their days were mediocre, but both would not have it any other way.

 

 

Myungsoo began noticing Moonsoo’s stranger behavior after a month or two. It started after his first semester of 8^th grade, when he started stopping going home with him on Tuesdays. Afterwards they stopped on Fridays, Mondays, and eventually stopped walking together altogether. The older boy was not the type to voice his concern, but he was curious of what his younger brother was doing. And today, he was determined to find out.

 

The lad blew his warm breath to his shivering hands, making a silent reminder to use mittens tomorrow (and to remind Moonsoo too, he was more reckless than he was). After an hour or so, Myungsoo finally spotted his younger brother. He nearly called for him, but he saw another girl appear. Pale face, rosy cheeks, and brown wavy hair, Myungsoo smiled and walked away.

 

His brother fancied a girl.

 

 

“Myungsoo? Call your brother down for dinner.”

 

Myungsoo saved his work and closed his laptop. He cracked his knuckles, satisfied of the progress he had done.

 

“Mamamoon dinner’s ready!”

 

Moonsoo opens his door with a sour face, glaring at Myungsoo. “Stop calling me that ridiculous name.” Myungsoo snorts, ruffling his brother’s hair. Ever since Myungsoo caught Moonsoo watching a Mamamoo performance, Myungsoo couldn’t love down with the nickname. “It’s not a ridiculous name, it’s a pet name.” Moonsoo rolls his eyes, and closes his door.

 

The younger lad stepped down the stairs with light steps, and Myungsoo knew his mood must be good. The younger’s face was cherry, and he kept smiling through his whole meal. Curious of his sudden good mood, his mother asked what happened.

 

“Hmm? I’m just happy that’s all. It isn’t wrong right?”

 

Both parents exchanged knowing looks, and they both continued on eating.

 

Myungsoo then realized another difference between him and his brother.

 

His brother was transparent.

 

 

Myungsoo was not fond of eavesdropping, but he could not help but listen when it was concerning his brother.

 

“I heard Moonsoo from 8-2 is dating someone from our grade!”

 

The boy’s eyes doubled over, but he tried to remain oblivious.

 

“Really? Who is he dating?”

 

The girl with pink glasses shook her head, sighing.

 

“It’s Boni.”

 

The other girls gasped, suddenly even more immersed in the conversation.

 

“Boni? Boni the bully?”

 

Myungsoo tried to remain calm, and not judge his brother’s taste as he flipped his book to the next page.

 

“Yes, her. I heard that she’s playing with Moonsoo to get to his older brother.”

 

The boy’s grip on his book tightened, as he started counting to ten in his head.

 

“How did you know?”

 

“She practically announced it to her class yesterday. I was talking with Hyeri from the other class when she screamed to her group that she wanted to get to Moonsoo’s older brother, Myung-“

 

Myungsoo shut his book audibly, and took an early leave for not feeling well.

 

 

“Hyung.”

 

The younger crashed himself to Myungsoo’s back, and lied there for a while. The older put down his pen, and tuck his homework back to his bag. The two stayed in that position for a while, silence surrounding the two. Myungsoo was then the first to break the ice.

 

“What is it Mamamoon?”

 

Myungsoo could imagine Moonsoo’s face contorting before he got off his back, and sat on the floor in front of him. His cheeks were fuming, he realized, and Myungsoo had a feeling he would not like what his brother was going to say next.

 

“I like someone.”

 

Myungsoo forcibly smiled and asked who the lucky girl was. “She’s from your grade actually.” The older boy said a silent prayer begging that the girls in his class were wrong, but the last of his hope was shattered when the younger finally said what he dreaded.

 

“It’s Boni noona.”

 

 

“Dad?”

 

Myungsoo’s father allowed him to come in his office room, as he stacks some papers into a file.  Myungsoo decided to kill time by asking what case his father was doing. “It’s about a offense and possibly a murder attempt,” he sighs. He puts down his glasses, and stares straight into Myungsoo’s eyes. “But I’m sure you’re not here to ask about a policeman’s case, so what seems to be the problem?” Myungsoo rubbed the nape of his neck, trying to think of how to ask his father.

 

“Dad, if someone is using another person to get another person she likes how would that someone feel?” Myungsoo blundered. His father chuckled, not getting his son’s statement. “Son, repeat that, but this time just use names.”

 

Myungsoo bit his lips, not wanting to expose his brother’s identity as he tried again. “Dad, if this girl is using a boy to get another boy she likes, how would the boy used feel?” His father’s forehead creased, as he started to think.

 

“What else? Of course the boy would feel betrayed.”

 

Myungsoo gulped, he was already wary of the consequence.

 

“But, he should be able to take that as a lesson to choose better next time. You learn from mistakes after all, we can’t afford success without experiencing failure first to avoid it.”

 

His father’s phone starts to ring, and Myungsoo overhears someone saying that a CCTV footage has been found, and a certain “Sungjong” being saved by a girl. Myungsoo’s father then hangs up and ushers Myungsoo out of his office. “Oh, and Myungsoo,” his father called out. Myungsoo faced back to his father, puzzled. “Don’t let Moonsoo avoid it okay?” The middle-aged man then closed the door, leaving his son dumbfounded.

 

 

The rumors eventually spread like wildfire, with the whole school acknowledging of Boni’s plans, well all except one.

 

“Noona?”

 

Moonsoo finally stepped up the courage to walk to the senior’s class, and walked to in front of Boni. The rest of the class was engaged in whispers, wondering what the boy wanted to do next.

 

“Yes dear?” Boni smiled, curling her hair between her fingers.

 

“Are you using me?” he blatantly asked. The girl raised her eyebrows, as if impressed by his bold question. “Why would you ask that?” she asks, as she pouts. “Just answer the question!” Moonsoo slammed his hand to her desk, as he grits his teeth. The whole class could see the older girl shaken by his actions, but she remained her composure once again, and smirked.

“Yes, so what? Your brother seems to be a better catch.”

 

Boni was definitely caught by surprise by his sudden smile.

 

“Thanks for telling me the truth to not let me stoop as low as your level.”

 

He bowed at her, leaving the older girl flabbergasted.

 

 

Myungsoo found him in the basketball field behind their house.

 

It did not take long to find him since Moonsoo often frequents here when he was stressed over anything. He saw him panting on the floor; beads of sweat decorating his forehead. He took his place beside the panting boy’s and lay down on the floor with him.

 

“You all right Mamamoon?”

 

The younger kept panting, ignoring his brother’s question. Myungsoo took out a bottle from his plastic bag, handing it out to him. “It’s your favorite-“ Moonsoo caught the older by surprise when he threw the bottle away from Myungsoo’s grasp. The younger then stands up, his eyes red and his breathes heavy. The older then stands up as well. “Moonsoo-“

 

“Why does everyone love you more than they love me?” Moonsoo shouts, his eyes glossy. Myungsoo was in a daze, never had he heard Moonsoo yell to him his whole life. “Moon-“ Moonsoo’s bitter laugh filled the air between them, silencing Myungsoo. “Oh right, I forgot, I’m just some random child from a ship accident that your family had to take in.”

 

Myungsoo was rendered speechless, with so much questions running in his head like when he first saw Moonsoo as a baby – how long has he found out? When did he find out? How did he find out?

 

Moonsoo could see the confusion in his brother’s eyes, and smirked. “I overheard mom and dad’s conversation in the kitchen when I was 7. I got back home from school with an early leave because I had a stomachache.” Myungsoo could hear his voice shaking, but he lets the younger boy continue. “The-They said they found the body of my parents, after 7 years! 7 years!” His tears started falling, but Myungsoo was too frozen in place to do anything. “Dad said they were holding each other’s arms, and that they were found together in one of the ship’s room that they managed to recover.”

 

“That was when I figured out everything – how we were so different, how I never heard whom I took after, when they said you took after mom’s face, and dad’s brain, but nothing for me.” His mucus flowed out of his nose, and Myungsoo was reminded of the first time Moonsoo got a scar and cried this hard. He took out a handkerchief from his back pocket, and slowly wiped his brother’s tears away. Moonsoo tried to resist his brother’s help, but Myungsoo’s other arm held his arm in place.

 

“I quickly ran out of the house after that, my stomach ache suddenly gone. I hid behind the large tree 5 blocks from our house, and I saw dad looking around outside.” Myungsoo continued wiping his tears and sweat, as he intently listened to the rest of his brother’s story. “I – I – was so shocked back then, I wanted to run away, I wanted to hide forever, but I knew I could not do that. Mom and dad would be worried sick, and I can’t bear to see mom crying because of me.” Myungsoo then asked Moonsoo to blow his nose to his handkerchief, to which he obeyed.

 

“So I went b-back home, and pretended as if nothing happened.” Myungsoo placed his handkerchief back to his jean’s back pocket, and continued to listen. “I was so scared, so scared, thinking what would happen next, when mom and dad would abandon me, and..” He looked up to Myungsoo, tears at the rim of his eyes. “How I would live when I could not be with hyung anymore.”

 

Myungsoo enclosed Moonsoo in his embrace, not minding his jacket being wet from all his younger brother’s tears. Moonsoo did not mind too, when he felt his brother’s tears dampening his T-shirt even more.

 

 

Both brothers came back with bloodshot eyes, and snotty noses, but they were all smiles. After taking a shower, Myungsoo finally opened his laptop to find his ending finished with another note underneath.

 

I’ve secretly read all your work, hyung. I’ve sent some of your work to a publishing house, and they agreed to publish your work! I finished this one for you since you took too long, but I hope you like it!

- The best younger brother in the whole wide world, Mamamoon (I’m only acknowledging it this time hyung, I’ll deny it for the rest of my life after this)

 

Myungsoo then gets an email notification with the publishing house sending him warm words of congratulations, and asking him to write up his preface page. The lad smiles, and quickly types up a reply.

 

To the best younger brother in the wide world,

You’ve always been the best brother I could have asked for, Mamamoon.