By the time the dessert is served, the conversation all around the room has shifted to other topics: the upcoming prestigious galas, the latest gossip surrounding various members of the Northern court, and even the extravagantly prepared dessert trays filled with delicate, mouth-watering pastries - but Jongin pays no attention to the chatter. His mind is preoccupied with something else, with a single word that keeps repeating in his head.

Friends, Kyungsoo had said, before giving Jongin a lovely smile that had made his heart beat faster in a way no friend should feel.

It’s not the first time Jongin’s been attracted to someone. He’s had his fair share of bed companions in the past, and while most of those experiences were borne out of lust rather than genuine interest, there were one or two whom he wouldn’t have minded pursuing. In the end, none of those ever worked out. Their conversations were dull and full of insignificant, petty things; they treated Jongin with reverence but others with contempt. Around him, they were all beautiful, sweet, and willing; around him, they saw only his title, his royal status - and never Jongin.

He wanted more. He wanted passion, he wanted love; he wanted someone who could fit into his life, whom he could talk to about anything at all. Someone who could make him laugh without a care in the world. The books and shows were full of such stories: of finding one’s other half, of a love that was so strong that nothing could stand in their way.

Kyungsoo is nothing like anyone he’s had been attracted to before; Kyungsoo, who had sneered at his title, who had kissed him and given him a bloody nose the next day. He was not someone Jongin had ever imagined being with - until now.

He suppresses a tragic sigh at the irony, and pokes at the piece of glazed fruit on his plate, only half-listening as the crown prince brings up the charity work that the palace is involved in.

“The shelter is but a drop in the ocean,” Prince Joonmyun explains to the table at large. “There are still many who oppose the idea of providing charity to those in need of it, but the voice of dissent grows less each day.”

“Such kindness is rare these days,” one of the Sujun courtiers tells him, her voice full of admiration. “I am sure many of the other nobles will support you in this cause.” There are murmurs of agreement following this.

“I highly doubt that,” Kyungsoo interrupts abruptly. Jongin looks up, surprised to hear his voice. “Most nobles, I find, aren’t concerned enough to pay attention to anything that wouldn’t support their interests.” Someone lets out a scandalized noise. Jongin can see the crown prince looking pained.

“Surely you don’t mean everyone, your highness,” one of the other nobles protests. “I would hardly consider myself one of those you speak of. I am, after all, the patron for many charities in my province.”

“In name, perhaps - but how many of those places have you visited, or seen to understand what is it that they do?”

The noble blinks at the question. “I-- that is, ah--” he struggles to answer.

“How can you claim to be a patron for something you’ve never even seen--” Kyungsoo cuts off, startled as he looks down at the hand that’s touching his arm lightly. Jongin watches as he glances up to meet Lord Ryeowook’s eyes.

It makes Jongin’s stomach twist slightly. You’re jealous, Jongdae’s words echo in his head.

Around them, the chatter slowly fades as many of the nobles begin to notice the tension in the air. Finally, Kyungsoo speaks. “I--I apologize for my harsh manner, Lord Kim,” Kyungsoo says, pulling his arm away. His cheeks are red, and he avoids glancing at anyone else. “Ex--excuse me, I realize I have-- I have a lot of work I haven’t completed yet.” He gets up from his chair, and quickly leaves the room.

Joonmyun himself is standing now, visibly torn between wanting to go after his cousin and to carry on his duties as the host. In the end, he sits back down. There’s a stiff smile on his face as he turns to address Luhan, changing the topic to the wedding preparations. Soon enough, the conversation begins to pick up once more, with laughter and wine glasses kept full for the rest of the night as everyone tries to forget the brief outburst from the prince.

Everyone, except Jongin. He ends up slipping out of the dining hall, just as everyone adjourns to the drawing room, and finds himself standing in front of the familiar doors of the royal library once more. For a moment, his mind flashes back to when he had stood here two days ago, and Jongin takes a step back, eyeing the door warily lest it opens in his face again.

Seconds pass, and nothing happens. Jongin lets out his breath slowly, relieved. He knocks on the door lightly, before opening it and stepping into the room. “Hello?” he calls out, letting the door close behind him. “Kyungsoo?”

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo is standing at the corner of the room, near the bookshelves. He’s still in his dining attire, although the jacket he had been wearing is now draped over the back of a chair nearby. “What are you doing here? I would have thought that you’d still be at the dinner.”

“I-- I wanted to check on you. To see if you were alright.” Jongin pauses. “I think you gave everyone something to talk about, back there.”

Kyungsoo scowls, and turns around to continue whatever he had been doing earlier. “The noble was an idiot. He doesn’t know that the charities that he’s been so proud of putting his name too are being run by merchants who end up pocketing most of the profits.”

Jongin’s mouth drops open slightly. “How is that possible?”

“Most people think throwing their money or title to something like this gives them a boost amongst the public. The problem is, it helps no one if all they do is lend their name, but don’t actually get involved.” Kyungsoo snorts. “Nobles, like normal people, can be gullible too.”

“Then why didn’t you tell Lord Kim that?” Jongin recalls the insulted look on the lord face, earlier, and how Kyungsoo had spoken. “He would have not been so--”

“I doubt he cares. Those merchants own enough warehouses in his province. He won’t make a move to change things,” Kyungsoo says shortly. Jongin watches as he moves a few steps down, pulling a book from one of the shelves and flipping through it. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. I shouldn’t even have been there, tonight. I even told Joonmyun that I didn’t want to be there, but he had insisted… practically begged for me to go. He even said that you--” he breaks off, flustered. “Ah--ne--nevermind. The point is, I don’t like spending more time than necessary around any of the courtiers. Talking to them just wastes my time.”

Jongin thinks of Ryeowook, and frowns. “What about Lord Ryeowook?”

“Ryeowook?” Kyungsoo turns around to look at Jongin in confusion. “What about him?”

“For someone who doesn’t like being around nobles, you seem to treat him well.” Jongin thinks of the way Ryeowook’s touch had lingered on Kyungsoo’s arm. “From the way he was -- touching you, I would say he holds some affection for you.”

Kyungsoo blinks. “Ryeowook’s engaged to someone else. What are you insinuating?”

“Engaged?” Now, it’s Jongin’s turn to blink, in confusion.

“Engaged,” Kyungsoo repeats. “And even if he wasn’t, he would be the last person I’d consider myself interested in.” He frowns at Jongin. “When I said I didn’t like being around nobles, I didn’t mean everyone. I’ve met some who were tolerable, who didn’t treat me like I was a piece of political pawn, who cared about me as a person, an individual. Ryeowook’s one of those who’s never had an unkind word for me, hence the reason I respect him.” Kyungsoo gives Jongin a searching look. Then, to Jongin’s surprise, his eyes widen. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous?” There’s a hint of amusement in his voice.

“I-I-what??” Jongin sputters. “I’m not jealous!”

Kyungsoo places another book back onto the shelves. “Mmm-hmm.”

“Are you making fun of me?” Jongin demands crossly.

Kyungsoo says nothing, but his lips are twitching slightly, as if he’s trying to hold back a smile.

Grumpily, Jongin walks around the room, towards the various paintings that are placed along the walls. There’s one of the king, seated on the throne with his official crown and sceptre, looking very regal in his uniform. Another one, this time of the king and the crown prince, both serious and stiff-necked in their seats. The third painting is of the palace, resting on top of the hill while overlooking the city and harbour below.

He stops in front of a painting of two young boys, both dressed in suits. There’s one in particular that catches Jongin’s attention; the image of Kyungsoo, looking too serious and broody for his age.

“I sat like a rock for four hours for that,” Kyungsoo remarks, joining him in front of the painting. “By the end of it I wanted to run away and live as a hermit.” Jongin chuckles, and moves onto the next set of frames.

Instead of paintings, the frames now contained photographs of the Southern realms. Each of the images seem to indicate a different province within the kingdom, all taken from various angles and locations.

“Here, let me show you something.” Kyungsoo beckons Jongin to follow him. Feeling curious, he steps away from the painting, and follows from behind. It takes him a moment to realize that Kyungsoo’s leading him towards the balcony - the same balcony where Jongin had climbed onto that had led him to this library, and eventually to Kyungsoo.

(It feels like so much has happened within the short few days since that night, when Jongin had stepped through those doors and had found Kyungsoo sitting here by himself; since Jongin had kissed Kyungsoo.)

“This,” Kyungsoo says, once Jongin is standing next to him, leaning against the edge of the balcony, as he sweeps his hand out towards scenery before them, “is the capital and heart of the Southern realms.”

Speechless, Jongin finds himself looking out towards a stunning view of the city. “It’s beautiful.”

Beneath them, the city lights are spread across far and wide, reminding Jongin of something akin to fairies, dancing in midsummer. It’s a multitude of colors; reds and greens and yellows - not unlike the painting he had seen earlier, yet filled with so much life that he finds himself holding his breath, trying to take the entire view in. Further out, he can see the sea; the way the reflection from the moon clear and visible on the water surface.

“Sometimes when I need to think, or if everything becomes too much for me to cope with, I come out here.” Kyungsoo says, quietly. “I know it sounds selfish, but sometimes I feel like when I’m looking at all of this, my problems don’t seem so big compared to the rest of the city.”

Jongin closes his eyes, and feels the warm breeze brush against his skin, bringing with it the scent of the ocean. For a moment, he wonders about Kyungsoo, growing up in a place like this, running through the palace and the gardens, breathing in the sea air, while below, the city breathes along with him

“It’s not selfish,” he says finally, and opens his eyes to find Kyungsoo gazing up at him, an unreadable expression on his face.

Blushing, he looks away, towards the ocean. After a moment, Kyungsoo speaks up again.

“One day, all of this is going to belong to Joonmyun.” Jongin glances at him again, but this time, Kyungsoo is facing away from him. He leans on elbows on top of the balcony edge. “He’s been training to lead this kingdom since he was born, and he’ll make a good king. A kind king, who cares for his people.” Jongin’s glad for the light that’s coming from the lamps that had been placed along the balcony, that lets him see the serene, fond look on Kyungsoo’s face as he speaks about the crown prince.

“But,” he continues, “there are some who don’t agree. They don’t support my uncle, and think that his policies aren’t good enough. They think his ideas to be old, and archaic, and they’re afraid that Joonmyun will be exactly like him.” He sighs. “I’m only a prince by adoption, not birthright, but they say that it’s enough to make me a contender for the throne.”

It’s a dangerous topic to be discussing, but Jongin still asks anyway. Quietly. “And what about you? Is that something you want?”

Kyungsoo snorts. “Even if they were to hand the throne to me, I wouldn’t want it. I have better things to do than to govern kingdom full of squabbling idiots.” Jongin hides the smile that threatens to break out. He’s heard his own father describe the provinces in the south in that manner before.

“What’s it like, growing up here?” he asks, curiously. He’s never heard Kyungsoo speak so much, till now and he wants to take the chance to hear more about him.

Kyungsoo smiles ruefully. “Boring, to be honest. I was ten when they sent for me to be raised in the palace, but I couldn’t adapt to the life here at first. Everything felt so overwhelming. I had to go for lessons, like Joonie-- I mean, Joonmyun, and we would spend a few more hours learning the affairs of the state.” Kyungsoo shakes his head, as if recalling a memory. “I didn’t want to learn any of those things, but Joonmyun said that he didn’t want to be lonely, so I had to join him.”

“You’re very close to the crown prince, aren’t you?”

“He was my only friend, back then,” Kyungsoo says, sounding bitter. “No one else wanted be associated with me.”

Jongin is surprised. “Why not?”

Kyungsoo eyes him warily. “Have you not heard the rumours?” When Jongin shakes his head, still feeling confused, he sighs. “I’m surprised no one’s told you yet.”

“What is it?” Jongin asks, before adding quickly. “You-- you don’t have to tell me, though. If it’s something that makes you uncomfortable--”

“I’d rather you know about it from me, instead of hearing it from some gossipy courtier,” Kyungsoo tells him. He pauses, briefly, before continuing, “My father was a commoner. When my mother chose to marry him, she was forced to leave the kingdom because of the way the courtiers in her social circle treated her.” He sighs. “It was not easy for her, at first, but she learned to adapt. My grandparents didn’t recognize her as their own, even if they had never officially disowned her, because of public sentiment.” He sighs. “When she finally gave birth to me, my uncle was the one sitting on the throne. He begged her to return, but she refused. Instead, she asked him to take me instead. She said she couldn’t deny me the right to my royal blood, and that I didn’t deserve to struggle as she and my father had.”

So that was how Kyungsoo had ended up living in the palace, growing up along with the crown prince. Learning to live as a prince himself, when he had been raised in a completely different environment, yet separated from his own family. It’s no wonder he seems so brittle at times, Jongin thinks.

“Did you ever try to leave?”

“For a while,” Kyungsoo admits. “When Joonmyun was sent to serve for a year in the army, I took the chance to explore the rest of the kingdom. I stayed at the Sujun court the longest, thought. Unlike the main palace here, they were less strict about propriety - perhaps because their titles were given to them. Ryeowook himself was not born into nobility - he was granted it for his contributions to the kingdom."

Jongin tries to recall his studies on the Southern realm. He’s aware that while the monarch has full control of the kingdom, there still exists a ruling council, made up of several prominent nobles from each of the provinces. Lord Ryeowook himself would have his own seat on the council, perhaps with a minor voice - but a seat, nonetheless.

Unlike the Southern provinces, the Eastern realm is broken up into various kingdoms, which are ruled by several royal families to oversee the welfare and economy of those lands. Each family could not appoint someone who was not born of their bloodline to rule - which made succession a little muddy if the ruling monarch had no sons or daughters. Luhan’s kingdom of Xin worried at first, when his engagement to Minseok was announced - until his father declared that they had enough cousins to keep the bloodline alive for the next several centuries if they wished.

In Jongin’s own kingdom of Xié, he was expected to rule once his father stepped down. There’s been no question about it, no protests - just the unspoken expectation of his future. He’s always felt the weight of those expectations, and the invisible crown that he’s expected to wear, one day. It’s more than just going to galas and balls; the responsibilities that comes hand-in-hand with it are overwhelming. Jongin’s not certain that he’ll be a good king like his father.

“Do you feel like you were meant for something else?” he asks, softly. “As if we were meant to be doing something else with our lives, rather than the ones we have now.”

Kyungsoo takes a long time to answer. “Sometimes.” There’s a sadness in his voice. “But then we don’t always have a choice in what we want in life.”

They stand there, leaning against the balcony edge in companionable silence. Some time passes, and then Kyungsoo’s straightening up, stretching his arms slightly. “Well, I should head back to my room soon. Joonmyun is probably waiting to lecture me, or shout at me for ruining his perfectly planned dinner.” He makes a face, which makes Jongin laugh.

“I think he’ll forgive you,” Jongin tells him wisely. His sisters had always forgiven him, no matter how many times the siblings had fought. It’s the nature of siblings, after all.

“Maybe,” Kyungsoo says, turning around to give him a small smile. Jongin catches sight of something on his face. “Hold on,” he says, and reaches out to pluck a stray eyelash that had fallen on Kyungsoo’s cheek. He shows Kyungsoo the stray eyelash, holding it between his thumb and forefinger in front of the other prince’s face, and smiles as charmingly as he can. “Look! An eyelash. Someone must be missing you, your highness,” he says lightly, referring to the old wives’ tale.

Kyungsoo blushes. “You’re—you’re doing that again.”

“Doing what?”

“That-- that flirting… thing.. Saying ridiculous things like that, thinking people will fall for your charms.”

Jongin can’t help but grin a little wider. “But you do admit that I’m charming.”

“Hardly,” Kyungsoo tells him, scoffing. “You’re the only one who thinks of himself that way.” He plucks the eyelash from Jongin’s fingers and flicks it back at him.

Jongin tries to swat it away and ends up wiping across his own face. He stops when he realizes that he’s wiped off the face powder that Jongdae had applied to his nose earlier. “Ah, ,” he swears, without thinking.

Kyungsoo raises his eyebrow.

“Uhm,” Jongin starts, but Kyungsoo is already leaning in, peering at his face closely.

“Are you.. er... wearing make-up?”

“Jongdae said it would stay on the entire night - don’t ask me where he found it,” Jongin replies defensively. “Besides, it made it easier than trying to explain where I got-- uh-- “ He gestures at his face, or rather, his nose.

Kyungsoo’s expression changes to a guilty one. “Oh,” he says, sounding guilty. “I-- I really am sorry. About… about that.” To Jongin’s surprise, he shifts closer, and reaches up with one hand to gently touch the bruised spot.

Jongin’s heart is beating faster now. It would be so easy, so simple, to just move in, to slide his hand around Kyungsoo’s waist, and draw him closer against his body. So easy to lean close, to kiss him, and feel his lips again, soft and plush against Jongin’s own.

He wants to do all of that - yet he can’t help but hesitate, holding himself back. Because now that he knows of Kyungsoo’s past, he knows that underneath the abrupt manner he’s displayed, Kyungsoo is vulnerable, with very little trust for anyone else. The fact that he has spent the last hour opening up to Jongin about his life is still a delicate step, and Jongin doesn’t want to ruin things.

However, as his mind goes through all of this, as he struggles internally to control himself and to be noble and righteous about this situation with Kyungsoo, it takes him a while to realize that Kyungsoo has withdrawn his hand, and is staring at him, blushing.

“Would it-- would it seem mad,” Kyungsoo whispers, suddenly, “if I wanted you to kiss me?”

Startled, Jongin jerks back. “What?” He must have heard it wrong.

“I--I--” Kyungsoo stammers, and he takes a few steps back, blushing furiously as he babbles on, “Forget it, I was-- I just-- you were there, and I--- I don’t know what I was saying--” He turns, mid-sentence, and attempts to leave.

“Kyungsoo, wait.” Jongin chases after him, catching up with him just before he steps through the balcony doors, blocking his way by standing in front of him.

“Jongin, please--”

“Wait, you can’t leave yet,” Jongin cuts him off. He’s still reeling from the fact that Kyungsoo had asked him, had wanted Jongin to kiss him. If only Jongin hadn’t pulled back… if only he hadn’t been so surprised-- “Did you mean what you said? About… about the kiss?”

Kyungsoo doesn’t reply. He keeps his head down, studying the ground, and Jongin wants to tear his hair out in frustration.

Instead, he reaches out and cups Kyungsoo’s chin with one hand, tilting his face up to meet Jongin’s eyes. Kyungsoo starts, about to pull away, but Jongin’s moving closer, his other hand coming up to rest against the side of his face, gently.

They stand like that, looking into each other’s eyes, with Jongin’s fingers still caressing Kyungsoo’s cheek slowly. It feels like forever before Kyungsoo finally sighs, and leans into the touch.

“I don’t… I don’t understand,” Jongin says, quietly. “First you tell me that you can’t stand to be around someone of nobility, yet you allowed me kiss you the first time we met, even though you knew who I was. Then yesterday, you accused me of treating you like some sort of conquest, before agreeing to be friends. And, now, you’re asking me for a kiss.” He lets out a frustrated noise. “Why? Why do you keep confusing me, making me hope for something one moment, then reject me the next?”

“I don’t know.” Kyungsoo admits, sounding miserable. “You’re not the only one who’s confused, alright? You’re supposed to be another rich, privileged prince who doesn’t understand or appreciate the weight of his title, who’s so sure of himself that he thinks he owns the right to everything. And that’s how you came off at first - that’s how you seemed, in all the articles and shows - but then you had to show up that night. You looked at me and listened to what I had to say, and you--” he takes a deep breath, and Jongin can see he’s trying to steady himself, before he continues, “You’re infuriating cheesy and ridiculous and yet no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Jongin stares at him, trying to take in all that he’s said. It takes him a while to realize it, but then he breaks out into a smile. “You like me,” he says, grinning.

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo mutters, but a small smile forming at the corner of his lips.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Jongin declares. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen, and he visibly swallows. For a moment, Jongin thinks he’s about to pull away and reject him - but then Kyungsoo his lips and replies hoarsely, “Okay.”

Jongin breathes a sigh of relief, and leans down to finally, finally, kiss Kyungsoo.

It’s everything that he remembers from that night; no, it’s even better than that. While the first kiss had been unsure and new, this one feels just perfect, with Jongin’s hands are cupping both sides of Kyungsoo’s face to hold him in place as he captures Kyungsoo’s lips with his own; soft, sweet, and undemanding - as if they have all the time in the world.

Finally, and somewhat reluctantly, Jongin pulls away, breaking the kiss. “Wow,” he says, because that’s all his brain can offer him, at this point. He looks down at Kyungsoo, who seems equally as dazed as he felt. “That was just. Wow.”

“Didn’t have to stop, you know,” Kyungsoo murmurs, tilting his head up. His eyes are still closed and his lips are red and swollen from the kissing. It’s remarkable how Jongin manages to resist it--

Oh, what the hell, he thinks, as he leans in for another round.

Still, he ends up having to force himself to break away a few minutes later. “I’m thinking we should go slow at this stage,” he tells a flushed and visibly panting Kyungsoo. “Unless you plan on taking us to the next step.”

Kyungsoo turns bright-red at the suggestion, and takes several cautious steps back. “You’re not… regretting this, are you?” he asks. “I’m not-- I’m not good at this. At being with someone.” There’s a look of uncertainty and fear on his face, as if he’s remembering something, from before, and it makes Jongin want to hunt down whoever had made Kyungsoo felt that way and throw him into the dungeon. If, of course, his father still had a dungeon. (He’ll work out the technicalities eventually.)

Instead, he reaches out and wraps his arms around Kyungsoo, tugging him closer for a hug. “I’ve been thinking about you ever since the first night we met,” Jongin confesses. “If I have any regrets, it’s that I didn’t meet you sooner.”

Kyungsoo blushes, and hides his face against Jongin’s chest, seemingly embarrassed.

Later, when he’s about to leave, Kyungsoo stops him at the door. “What are your plans for tomorrow?”

Jongin tries to remember if Luhan had mentioned anything in their schedules. “No plans at all.” He glances at Kyungsoo in curiosity. “Why?”

Kyungsoo smiles at him. Jongin’s heart skips a little. “Would you like to see the city?” he asks, shyly. “No frills, none of the fanfare or media attention.”

Jongin gives him a surprised look. “Wouldn’t they still catch on, seeing us going around with the entourage?”

“I have a way of sneaking out of the palace without being noticed.”

Jongin feels himself getting excited. He’d been hoping to see the city, but the past few days had been filled with boring, official visits that barely left him any room to explore it. “Yes, of course, I’ll inform Luhan and Minseok--”

“I-- I was thinking of just us. Without anyone else.” Kyungsoo looks flustered.

Blinking, it takes Jongin a few seconds to get what Kyungsoo’s suggesting.

“But--but if you’re not interested-- I mean, if it’s awkward for you--”

“I’d love to,” Jongin tells him quickly, and to reinforce his statement, he grabs both of Kyungsoo’s hands, and lifts them to his lips, kissing the back of them lightly. “It’s not awkward at all. I want to spend time with you, to get to know you better.” He smiles, clutching Kyungsoo’s hands to his chest as Kyungsoo grows more flustered and embarrassed by the moment. “So, yes. My answer is yes.”

“You’re so horribly cheesy,” Kyungsoo accuses, but there’s a pleased smile on his face that makes Jongin’s heart race.


*

Jongdae pokes his head out of the sitting room, just as Jongin walks past.

“There you are, I was just about to call you to join--” Jongdae stops short, and narrows his eyes at Jongin. “Hold on. Why are you smiling?”

“Because.” Jongin sighs, happily. He feels light-headed, like he’s walking on clouds.

“Okay, so you’re now creeping me out a little. What happened to you after dinner? Where did you go?” Jongdae asks, looking amused. “Did you run into a door again or something?”

Jongin thinks Kyungsoo’s smile, warm and sweet. Before he had left the library, Jongin had, on an impulse, leaned down to whisper ‘good night’ and brushed his lips lightly against Kyungsoo’s. He had to tear himself away after that, forcing his legs to move and lead him out of the library, while Kyungsoo had stood there, looking dazed.

He thinks about spending the day tomorrow with Kyungsoo - just them, and no one else, and he ends up beaming at Jongdae.

“Something,” he answers, as he continues walking towards his room, as Jongdae looks on in amusement. “Definitely something.”

a/n: apologies to everyone for the slow update, real life has been soul- lately! i appreciate all the comments and subs and upvotes, thank you for still sticking to this fic even though this author is horribly slow at posting >.<