sometime in November 2014, i don't know what day it is, don't blame me

Dear diary (or something like that),
I remember exactly how all of this began. It's like it was yesterday to be honest.
If you'd ask me about this one special day, I could tell you every fuvking detail. I remember who was there, what time it was, what we had for lunch; I even remember my underwear. You want to know which day I'm talking about?
Well, THE day, of course.

I've been friends with Hanbin for more than four years now. I know this kid, probably better than he knows himself. What he likes, what he dislikes; sometimes I even know what he wants before he knows. It's like I'm in his head. And on that day, the day Song Mino walked into the practice room for the very first time, the moment their eyes met and I saw the look on Hanbin's face.. Well, to me, everything was clear.

He changed a lot. If you don't know him good enough, you might not see it. But if you've been one of his closest friends for quite a while, you sense every little change in his behavior. At first I was still under the illusion that he just respected Mino as a rapper and colleague, later that he became good friends with him. JUST good friends, you know. And yes, of course they ARE good friends, but somewhere along the line I realized the little things that were going on between them. I realized that the apparently simple looks they gave each other weren't that simple. I noticed how often Hanbin was watching Mino when he was busy with something else, how he smiled at him, how he was always drawn to him when we all were together, even on stage. He tried not to be too obvious, but he couldn't fool me. Mino would be the first one Hanbin would run to, and soon I was sure that this man became his secret priority.

Secret because this is definitely not something you can go public with easily. Especially not here in Korea. But that's actually another problem.. I mean, how to go public with something the involved parties are not sure about yet?

Do you know these moments when you, as a friend, are close to a mental breakdown? You see how much two of your friends like each other, but they are the only ones still trying to deny it, and it makes you so mad that you just want to grab their heads and literally force them into a kiss because GODDAMN THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER? Well, I'm having at least five of these moments every day.

It's been a while now that all of this has started. Mino is a part of WINNER now, we are iKON. Everyone's busy with their own stuff, but whenever we see each other, whenever we meet, you can't separate these two. No offense, but sometimes it's annoying. Not because they are too clingy like the couples you just want to throw off the next roof, no - Hanbin and Mino are too cute. I could puke seeing them together. The worst about this is that they are still playing a game of cat-and-mouse. I don't know why it's so fuvking hard for people to tell how they feel. I mean, it's obvious that you like each other when you're literally ignoring everyone of your friends around you and completely focus on each other, right? That's what they do, I'm not kidding you. Not always, of course, but they tend to forget that there are also other people they could talk to. Me for example. You think I'm jealous? Well, maybe a little. I mean, Hanbin was mine for a couple of years, I didn't have to share him with anyone, and then this Mino guy appears and I'm just playing second fiddle to him. Does that sound butthurt? It's not meant to though because I'm not. I'm actually really happy that it turned out like this.

Music's probably Hanbin's biggest love. He's spending so much time on writing songs, composing. It's like he's living in the studio. I tried to stop this workaholic several times, but failed miserably. Then there's Mino who just has to call and ask if Hanbin's free and he drops everything. He's as passionate about Mino as he's passionate about music and that makes me happy. This Hanbin kid needs some distraction and Mino definitely is.   

So, this will work out. They will become an official couple one day. They will get married, I will be a groomsman and they will live happily ever after. They will adopt children, buy a big house and a dog and be a perfect little family. Okay, remove the kids, Mino's too awkward with kids. Let them have 50 cats and dogs instead. I can already imagine it and I can't wait for the day to come. Everything I've ever asked for is for Hanbin to be truly happy and when he's with Mino, he is. So.. I'm happy too.

Guys, you have my blessing and approval. Make the best out of it.

P.S.: Junhoe, in case that you're snooping around here - I know where your Michael Jackson CD is. You better don't ever touch this book again.