The room was silent as the moon shined bright high in the sky showing its self through the closed blinds on a young woman lying on the couch. Her eyes blood shot and a panda pattern blanket was curled tightly around her as she stared at the front door. Nothing seemed real to her anymore.

She remembers Zitao buying the blanket for her for Christmas for the purpose of ‘remembering him when he had to go on trips for martial art competitions’. It was a gift that she held dearly to herself as the panda’s reminded her of him and of the cute side he rarely ad shown her. But those times were gone. The man she loved, that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with was no more.

One moment she would smiling as her love would laugh at the color of his toes when he woke up then the next waiting hours for him to return home after a petty fight. It came down to a routine. Late nights of Zitao coming home at the crack of dawn pissed drunk, smelling like perfume and Qian crying it all out before he got home. But today was a different kind of night. It was Qian’s night to remember and forget what was once hers, to forget every ounce of love she had for Zitao.

All the pain he caused became too much. By morning she will wait for him to come home, kiss him good night like usual and just walk out the door, leaving her favorite blanket behind. Her things were already in the car, there would be no going back when walk in through that door. There was no reason for her to forgive him and stay. It seems that he has moved on without telling her.

♦♦♦♦♦

Zitao woke up with his head throbbing and still in his clothing he wore to the club. He couldn’t stand the smell of himself and decided it would be best to take a shower. He threw the blankets off of him and stretched his tense limbs. As he walked to the bathroom he couldn’t help but notice the room was silent, too much for his liking.

Instead of a shower he walked into the hallway and noticed the whole place was still dark minus the sun rays trying to peak through the blinds. I wonder where Qian went, he asked himself, ruffling his raven colored locks. Zitao walked further until he was in the living room and noticed her slippers were under the couch and her shoes gone. Maybe she went to get some breakfast.

He decides to go back to their room for the needed shower. Letting the hot steams calm his cold body and aching head he tries to remember the last night. Him and Qian got into an argument after she came later than usual from work. He had the speculation she was cheating even after Qian explained she went out to celebrate with the others for a birthday. He remembers not believing her because she worked in a bar and just walking out the door and entering his usual club stop and that’s the last he could remember.

The thought of it all just made him sick to his stomach. All they do is fight and he has the nerve to call the woman he loves a cheater when he isn’t any better. Zitao hates hurting her but he can’t find a reason stop. Has he fallen out of love with Qian? Possibly. Does the mean he wants to let her go? Never. Qian still means the world to him. She is my world.

He just needed to change, he needed to do it for Qian before he is too late.

After his shower, he dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his waist, walking about out to the living room to see if she had returned. “Qian,” he called out. The room was still dark and something unpleasant settled at the bottom of his stomach. His eyes wandered around their shared apartment; her keys were gone, shoes nowhere to be seen, even they pictures they had taken together on their bookshelf were replaced with pictures of him, his friends and parents. No sign of Qian. It was like she had never been here. But then something clicked. He ran to the bed room and in one motion opened the closet to see the space empty and bare. The colors of the rainbow no longer brighten the closet as were left was his own black clothing.

Qian left him. Erased herself from his life and he was too late.

Zitao found himself lying on his bed, the ceiling being the only area occupying his vision. He never thought he would see the day that everything would finally hit rock bottom. All he wanted to do was cry, scream, and yell for her to come back but every ounce of energy he had just disappeared. Fists clenching at the bed sheets, he felt a softness at his finger tips and brought the cloth to his face to see what it was.

It was the pink blanket covered in panda’s he had gotten for her almost two years ago. He couldn’t hold it in anymore as tears spilled down his cheeks, the blanket in his grasp as he cried into the fabric.

His Qian. His sunshine was gone.

Four years later

Qian sat silently at the bar, sipping away at her glass of Vodka and glance at the ring on her left finger and smile. She was getting married in two months to an actor named Wu Yifan. They had met almost over three years ago when she worked at a bartender one night. Everything started out and little flirtatious looks and giggled but ended in a deep conversation that lasted until she had to close. It was a friendship that turned into something beautiful and now she was going to be his wife. It was a dream come true. To fall in love and spend the rest of her life with him. Qian never thought she would find the one until now.

Things have changed for Qian. Her hair was no longer blonde but black, makeup darker than before and her clothing no longer held the color it once had but she didn’t mind the change, Yifan is what made her bright.

There was a commotion on the other side of the bar sounding like she was no longer by herself. She looked and noticed man with raven hair, sharp eyes with bags underneath that she could never forget. Zitao turned and made eye contact with Qian. But even so she couldn’t remember what he meant to her at one point.

“Hello.” It was all she could muster up to say. All she could feel was her heart aching and looked away.

Yifan came back into her thoughts and suddenly the aching was gone, as if they never happened.

The bartender came back to refill her drink as they conversed about her upcoming marriage. For the first time in her life she had never felt happier.

♦♦♦♦♦

Zitao didn’t know what to do. As he walked into his favorite bar he didn’t expect to see the woman he still loved after all these years. Qian still looked beautiful in her uniform but she looked so different. Her hair no longer the color of the afternoon sun it was the first time to see black eyeliner on her.

He wanted to go up to her, to sit next to her and try to win her back after five years of never seeing each other Zitao saw it as a terrible I idea. Instead he ignored her, heading to a seat on the other side of the bar. Ordering a beer he sat staring at his lap, he had to at least say hello right?

When he looked up to her he was surprised to see her looking his way. His heart fluttered but in an instant that feeling came crashing down as Qian looked away. Zitao saw the look in her eyes, it was as if she was looking at stranger. He couldn’t blame her though, who would want to acknowledge the man who continuously hurt her.

“Hello.”

It was all he heard of her voice. It held no emotion, nothing. But he got to hear her voice more after than as she spoke to the bartender.

 He missed her so much. Her laugh, her smile, the way she would stomp her foot when she got embarrassed. Every day since she left he told himself he had to move on, and he did but it didn’t mean it hurt.

So when is the wedding?

In two months.

Oh? December is such a beautiful time despite the cold.

It is. I always wanted a winter wedding and its coming true.

Zitao sat their listening to their conversation in deep thought. She is getting married. I was supposed to be the one to marry her. Countless thought circled through his head realizing he had no chance, losing everything. And he deserved it.

♦♦♦♦♦

It was quiet among the two. Both sipping their drinks and in their own thoughts before Zitao spoke, “Congratulations.”

The words caught Qin off guard but smile toward him, “Thanks.”

It was silent for a moment before he spoke again, “How long have you two been together?”

“It will be four years in six months.”

They sat there in another silence, both wanting to say something as Qian tapped her glass and Zitao just stared at her as if she was the only one he still saw in his world.

“I would have married you if I got the chance,” Those words brought Qian to the brink of tears but she had to keep herself collected, this talk was four years overdue. It need to end for good as Zitao continued to talk, “I was stupid for what I did to you. Every day I see your panda blanket it and it makes me think how much I screwed up. I love you so much. I’m sorry.”

Qian looked toward Zitao, his gaze staring down at the glass in his hands. There it was, the words she thought she would never hear. The apology that only tore her apart because she no longer felt the same. Qian brought out her wallet and placed her amount for her drinks on the counter saying, “I loved you Zitao. I forgave you for what you did but please let it go. All your feeling for me go. It will do you no good to hold those feeling in for the rest of your life.”

She walked over to Zitao, kissing his cheek lightly as she held in her sniffling cries, “Erase me for your memories. Forget me, your love for me as I have for you.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at his thoughts after her words, “You still smell like peaches.”

“Goodbye Zitao.”

Qian walked away without looking back. It was finally done. Their bond was no longer there as they can now move on. Their love was no more.

He heard her steps as she got further away from him, a tear falling down his cheek and his hands resting over his mouth. She was right. He need to erase every trace of her for both of them to stop hurting.

“Goodbye Qian.”

A/N: Don't kill me plz. It is all out of the blue creative writing and the urge for taotoria was there. THanks for giving it a look <3