The ringtone of my phone played my favorite song which was blank space by Taylor Swift. I almost mimicked it because it interrupted me from sleeping. “ugghh, im really going to have the whole bad day to myself until the end isn’t it?” I groaned and mumbled to myself with my eyes half closed. I’ve only slept for like literally only a few seconds now who’s calling?? I could still hear my phone ringing loud and clear. I might hate that song someday. I gained my energy to reach out to my phone on top of the drawer near my bed. I slide my finger on the phone quickly to answer the call since its been ringing long enough. “hello?” I said after I cleared my throat slightly. I heard a sob. I could recognize it’s voice since I’ve heard the same thing over again but I still took my time to look at the caller’s name. it was as I expected. It was Soo Ji. At that moment, I can guess already why she is sobbing in the middle of the night.  I started to feel guilty after I remembered back the incident today. I’ll talk about that later. I almost let out a big sigh but I couldn’t. i started talking slowly in an awkward tone “err… are you okay? What happened? I thought you’d be going out late because of the date, didn’t you have fun?” pretending to not know what happened but to be honest I guessed it would’t be okay. “he cheated on me! With some girl but you knew right?! Why didn’t you tell me?! Then, I wouldn’t have gone to the stupid date today! I thought we were friends, friends shouldn’t keep secret between each other! I’m disappointed in you. I don’t wana talk to you anymore…… Tiii---------iiiit” the phone line stopped immediately after soo ji ended it with a sad tone. I couldn’t say anything yet. I couldn’t explain anything yet. I froze for a moment. My heart sank. This is all my fault, I should’ve told her about the incident today but I couldn’t because she seemed so happy and excited for the date. I… I couldn’t ruin that for her. But I should’ve been honest to her in the first place if I knew he ended their relationship today on their date! I thought to myself.i was stupid to trust that guy’s words. I lay down on my bed speechless thinking this is the first soo ji ever did scream at me on the phone and ended our relationship like that. I felt guilty, sad, and I couldn’t say a single word about what happened. I was too surprised by her act. I felt a chill then I scratched the scar on my left hand. I don’t know why but whenever I am feeling as this anxious I do it. I guess it has become a habit though I don’t quite understand myself about what happened with my left hand, that scar. i let out a big sigh finally after I slowly closed my eyes thinking about what happened today at school.

7 hours ago….

I was running in the hallway in school after helping the teacher when suddenly I heard a noise in my classroom. It was like a voice of people whispering to each other. I didn’t want to care much since It was late and I had to go home. I intended to take a look for a few seconds. It was a girl making out with… it wasn’t clear at first but I finally realized that it was Jae Il, Soo ji’s boyfriend. I was shocked. Jae Il saw me and called me out in an awkward tone. “soo jung… what are you.. doing here?” I couldn’t stand the view so I quickly ran out to the hallway and out of school I didn’t look back. But I heard him screaming “WAIT..!! DON’T TELL SOO JI ANY OF THIS!! YOU’RE HER FRIEND RIGHT!!” I couldn’t bear thinking about the whole thing. I was especially pissed at that guy. In the middle of my way home I was tired of running so fast I stopped. My anger was build up after what I saw just now. “WHAT?!!! Don’t tell Soo ji any of that??!!! How am I supposed to do that??? Is he crazy? I wish I could just punch him in the face that time! ” I said loudly. I was just sick of thinking any of what happened. I kicked a can back hard and it hit a guy behind me. “Ouch, uhh… you there..” he said back with a soft voice. I realized what I just did. When was he even behind me? More than that, did he hear everything I said just now? I turned around and apologized quickly without looking at his face.  “aishhhh…” I said slowly embarrassed at what I just did while facing down and finally ran quicly home. I almost forgot about what happened at school. Thinking about it made my mind racing wild. When I finally arrived home, I saw soo ji infront of my house, with a smile curled up on her face. I felt even more guilty not knowing what I should do, or say to her. She said, “heyy, why are you late home. Your mom is worried.” .”uuhh, the teacher gave me some errands to do at school, that’s why” I replied with a low tone. Not looking at her eye much. “you look happy, what’s on?” trying to brighten up the mood. “owh, err.. im going to have a date with Jae Il tonight. He suddenly asked me out” she said with a blush. at that moment. My anger almost weld out but I kept it in. I didn’t know what to say more and just gave her a fake smile and said “that’s great, I hope you have a great time”. She replied with okay and a bright smile on her face. I went inside and ran quickly upstairs after that. It was guilt and anger that I felt. Anger for what Jae Il did and guilt for thinking about how I didn’t say anything to soo ji. “ she is too innocent for that cruel jerk... its not fair” I thought back about what  Jae il said. Maybe he wont screw the date up. He couldn’t be that stupid after knowing that I saw him cheating. It would be better if he just told her everything so she doesn’t get too hurt in the end. “ahhh, screw that guy. If he’s scared of what I might say to soo ji he better clear this all up before anything gets worse” I don’t think he would dare to screw tonight’s date with her. At the moment, I was only praying so hard to god hoping that everything ends well and soo ji doesn’t get hurt. But what I didn’t knew later was that I’d regretted everything. I should’ve done something.

That morning, I was thankful it was weekend. I can spend some time alone. Oh, I haven’t introduced myself yet. My name is Park Soo Jung/Jeong. People just call me Jung. I’ve been living in korea for a few years. I’m from U.S. technically my birth place is at Korea. Another interesting thing about me is I am a survivor of amnesia. I only heard that I was in a terrible accident when I was 5. I had to go through a big surgery and suddenly I have amnesia. The doctor said that it may be because I was traumatized by something and I don’t have to worry about that memory loss.  After that my parents decided to move to the U.S. but I don’t know why my parents decided to move to U.S when I was so small. I don’t remember anything at all about my childhood in Korea. My mom don’t talk about it much. That scar too. Maybe I got it from the accident. But why does my mom never talk about it. My dad still works in the U.S. he sends us money from there and only visits Korea a few times. Sometimes I feel like my parents are hiding something from me but I don’t know what. Eventhough my childhood memories are little but I do feel curious how I was when I was so small and what I was really traumatized about that I lost my memory. Anyways, I moved on with my life pretty well in the U.S. I was able to maintain good grades in academics. I can say that im pretty fluent in English. But, not so much in Korean. When I moved back to korea three years ago when I just went into middle school, I had to learn Korean language more. Soo Ji has been my one and only friend when I came to school. We became best friends. She is my neighbor and our moms are good friends. But, yesterday she said she didn’t wanna talk to me anymore. What am I supposed to do now. This afternoon, I plan to make up with her but when I came to her house, her mom said that she is sick and she couldn’t come out. I don’t know if she is really sick or she’s just going through  a hard time emotionally or just avoiding me. I couldn’t force her out so after that, I decided to take some time alone out. I rode my bike to to my favorite shop. Where it sells all sweet stuff. Candies and ice cream. I’ve gotta admit, when im feeling down, I eat a lot of sweets. I love them anyways. I decided to rest near the bust stop. I tried on the cute telephone strap Mr. Kim gave me just now. Mr. Kim is the candy shop’s owner. He’s always nice to me and knows how to lighten up my mood. I thought about how childish the strap was for a high schooler like me. At that moment, I didnt realize I was giggling to myself and suddenly a bus stopped for a while at the bus stop and I saw this guy in the bus who stared at me and I stopped giggling. Our eyes met. It was awkward at first but I realised he was good looking and had a calm face. I bet he thinks that im weird for what I just did. I blushed at the thought and quickly turned away. I took my bike and rode of in speed back home never turning back. “aisshh….. why am I always in such an awkward position. Embarrassing” I mumbled to myself.