He goes to the practice room earlier than anyone else.

He stays a little longer every time after practice when everyone has left.

But where's the improvement?

He has been a trainee for a couple of months now, and while others have improves massively, he only seems to stay stagnant.

Mark doesn't know why he made the decision to go to Korea, to try his luck in the audition, to train to be an idol.

He couldn't sing, couldn't dance, couldn't rap, he had no talents at all, so why did he go for the audition?

He knew nothing, none of the language, none of the culture, none of the life he will have to lead.

But he is here now anyway, living this horrible and stressful life.

He didn't think there will be so much politics amongst the trainees.

The backstabbing, whispers behind his back, subtle bullying from others trainees who are so much better than him in every aspect.

He only got in because of his looks.

He so much, it's a miracle he is still here.

Look at him, so stiff and tense all the time. Tch.

He didn't improve one bit since he came here.

Even though Mark can barely understand Korean at that point in time, it's clear that those are words meant to degrade him.

And even if he tries ignore them, those words are like little daggers, stabbing at his heart repeatedly.

It hurts.

And it's not just the words they say, Mark notices the irritated glances, the annoyed sighs, the smirks whenever he gets scolded by instructors.

"We are so much better than him."

"I'm sure we will debut before that guy does."

"Yea, he's nothing compared to us."

Anger surges in Mark's veins, but he knows he can't do anything about it, because they are clearly true.

So he just sits at the back of the practice room, stretching and wondering bitterly if those people will ever get tired of gossiping.

He tries again like he always does to ignore the whispers, but it's hard, when they are meant to be heard.

Suddenly, the door slams shut and Mark looks up to find two of the senior trainees, Jaebum and Jinyoung, in the practice room.

The room is now silent, and no one seems to dare to speak.

Jaebum looks around the room with a cool glance, his eyes sweeping over Mark's figure and settling on the group of trainees.

"Gossiping won't make you debut any sooner."

Jaebum says in a bored voice, seemingly offhandedly, yet he's staring down at them, as if daring them to disagree with what he said.

"With that attitude of yours, who's to say that he," Jaebum tilts his head in Mark's direction, "won't debut earlier than you."

The other trainees remain silent as Jinyoung smirks darkly behind Jaebum.

An intimidating aura seems to surround the two, especially Jaebum, as they find a place in the room and began their warm-up routine.

And no sound is heard until the instructor comes and they start their practice.

--

Marks holds his tray tightly, his eyes wandering around the canteen, looking for a certain someone.

His eyes land on him, and Mark tenses up involuntarily, his teeth nibbling on his lower lip.

He breathes in deeply, before heading towards the duo seated near the entrance of the canteen.

"J-Jaebum-sshi... Thank you for earlier."

Mark bows a little, keeping his eyes on the floor, his shoulders stiff from nervousness.

"Don't mention it."

There's just something in Jaebum's voice that makes Mark look up, and he is greeted with a gentle, charming smile from Jaebum.

It is so different from the cold, dominating person from before that Mark is stunned for a moment.

His surprise must be evident, for Jinyoung lets out a small chuckle and Mark snaps out of his daze, blushing rapidly.

"Do you want to sit with us?"

Jaebum offers and Jinyoung nods so encouragingly that Mark has no choice but to put his tray down.

Mark wonders if Jaebum knows he always goes to the rooftop for his meal, alone.

He gets into the seat next to Jaebum, and Jinyoung immediately strikes up a conversation, his voice bright and chirpy.

"I'm Jinyoung, and he's Jaebum, as you already seem to know. What's yours?"

"I-I'm Mark. Please take care of me."

Mark stumbles a little over his words and he feels a little more heat added to his cheeks.

"Oh, you don't have to be so formal with us Mark-sshi, from what I hear, you are older than us, am I wrong?"

Jaebum speaks as he props an arm up on the table, leaning his face on it and staring at Mark.

"I'm 22, Korean age..."

Mark's voice trails off, his nervousness still not quite gone, what with Jaebum's staring and being in close proximity with the two.

They are, afterall, the few top trainees in the company, even if they have only been training for a year.

"So you're the hyung... Boo, Jaebum-hyung you look older than Mark-hyung though."

Jinyoung mumbles and Mark sees a small grin forming and hears a soft indignant noise beside him.

Jaebum reaches out to knock Jinyoung's forehead playfully, and Mark is able to see his eyes twinkle.

"Mark-hyung, I know it's a little late, but welcome to Korea!"

Jaebum turns his twinkling eyes to Mark and grins, while Jinyoung holds his head and howls in pain.

And for the first time since he had come to Korea, Mark is laughing.

--

The gossip never really died down though.

In fact, it may have grown, since he's now hanging out with the popular duo.

But even so, Mark feels just a teeny-weeny bit grateful to those gossipers.

Because they have given him Jaebum and Jinyoung, the two who dances beside him during practices, the two who pulls him to sit with them during lunches.

He can still feel the hate on him, but it has been so much easier to deal with them with Jaebum by his side.

"Just ignore them."

Jaebum had stated once when Mark came to them, visibly upset due to the whispers.

And just with Jaebum's confident smile and glint in his eye, Mark finds strength to block out all the whispers.

Anyhow, he finds it so much better to focus of the perfect set of white teeth and the two moles above Jaebum's left eye instead.

It doesn't take him too much effort to do that too.

Often, he loses himself while staring at Jaebum's profile.

Sometimes Jaebum will catch him in his daze, but Mark will just smile like he always does and lucky for him, Jaebum doesn't pry.

But there's this glint in Jinyoung's eyes and Mark has this nasty feeling that Jinyoung knows something that he himself doesn't.

Mark also doesn't know what this feeling he seems to have around Jaebum is, but he's certain it's somewhere along the lines of admiration and gratefulness.

--

"You really can't do this, can you."

Mark freezes in mid-step and he feels his heart stop.

He recognises those words, often said by others in pity, dissastifaction and scorn.

But what's more important, is that he recognises the voice.

He will recognise the voice anywhere, even when it's 12am in the morning and he's sick and dizzy from all the practices.

Mark turns around slowly, towards the door of the practice room and swallows, his heart clenching when he sees Jaebum leaning on the door frame.

He can see the troubled expression on Jaebum's face, and the slight tone of disappointment just now still rings in his mind.

And Mark fears what will happen next.

The familiar image of instructors, seniors turning away from him, shaking their heads and sighing heavily, walking out of the practice room leaving Mark all alone flashes across his mind.

But even if the whole world turn away from him, Mark doesn't care. 

Just not Jaebum.

"It's been quite a while since you've entered..."

Jaebum can't give up on him.

"Well, it can't be helped..."

He can't.

Mark feels tears welling up and he blinks rapidly, biting his lips and shifting his gaze away from Jaebum, anything to stop tears from falling.

He will just look pathetic in front of Jaebum.

"I guess I shall just be your private trainer."

Mark is so shocked and relieved by Jaebum's words that he forgot to hold back his tears.

"Wha-what? Yah! Mark-hyung!"

He hears Jaebum's panicked voice and a second later, he's wrapped in a warm embrace.

Jaebum is rocking his body and his soft voice comes a minute later, sending shivers all over Mark's body.

"Am I that bad? Do you not want me? I can ask Jinyoung-"

"No!"

His shout comes out louder than he expects and Jaebum's voice stops.

"I'm just... I...I thought you will abandon me..."

Mark mutters, before burying his head into Jaebum's chest, a spot where it's unbelievably comfortable.

He feels Jaebum's chest rising, before falling in a heavy sigh.

"Silly hyung..."

Jaebum pulls back and places a tender hand on Mark's cheeks.

"Even if the whole world gives up on you, I won't."

And he smiles.

A smile so sweet and sincere, that Mark can't help but smile his own teary, quivering smile.

And it's then that Mark finds out that Jaebum's smiles are one of his favourites.

--

With Jaebum becoming his personal trainer, in the course of two months, Mark has gained the apporval of his instrutors and other trainees.

And this can only happen because of the late-night practice sessions with Jaebum.

The late-night sessions where Jaebum runs him through already memorised routines, gives him vocal practices, buys him the occasional snack as an encouragement.

Those sessions are precious memories for Mark.

"Mark-hyung, you have to-"

"Mark."

Jaebum turns around to look at him, head tilted and brows furrowed, perplexed.

"Huh?"

Mark finds Jaebum's confused expression so endearing.

"Just Mark. You don't have to call me hyung, Jaebum-ah."

And he sees Jaebum's eyes lighting up, as if he has been secretly wishing for this to happen.

"Mark."

Mark hums, face breaking out into a smile naturally from hearing Jaebum calling him.

"Mark, you have to do this before you do this."

Jaebum continues as if that little episode did not occur, demostrating the dance moves as he speaks.

Mark's smile drops and he fake pouts, before he sighs and follows Jaebum.

"Mark."

"Yea? What did I do wrong now?"

"...I just wanted to call your name."

Mark's heart skips a beat at Jaebum's words, and at that moment, he's pretty certain of this feeling he always have around Jaebum.

Somewhere along the way, Mark seems to have fallen for Jaebum.

--

It's 1 o'clock in the morning and Mark is still in the practice room.

Jaebum isn't here, and Mark can't help but miss him.

It's been almost a year since he has met Jaebum and Jinyoung, and a year since he became a trainee.

There were many times when Mark had wanted to quit, to escape this horrible trainee life to return to his family.

But that means that he won't be with Jaebum anymore.

Mark closes his eyes as he lets his body fall to the floor after a spin.

He remembers the time when Jaebum had almost punched him for saying he regretted coming to Korea.

Jaebum has always been short-tempered, Mark knows.

Jinyoung had told him once of how Jaebum had screamed in a room full of seniors and ran out before he punched someone.

But, Jinyoung mused with a cheeky glint in his eye that Mark now understands, Jaebum had gotten considerably better ever since he met Mark.

Even so, Mark doesn't blame Jaebum for wanting to punch him then.

He had seen the anger, and most of all, the disappointment, in his eyes.

Jaebum and the other trainees had given up everything to pursue this idol road.

Jaebum, his ordinary life, his dream of b-boying.

Till this day, Mark doesn't know what made Jaebum give up his dream, when he clearly loves it so much.

But Mark's grateful, still, because if not for it, he wouldn't have met Jaebum at all.

Jaebum had ended up buying him soup the next day as an apology for getting angry at him.

But Jaebum hadn't even punched him, he had punched the wall instead.

Of course, there still are times when Mark wants to quit, but he thinks it's better for both of them if he keeps quiet about the matter.

Still, he has a feeling that Jaebum knows, because the times Jaebum becomes extra encouraging, sweet and understanding just so happens to be the times Mark's thinking about it.

But even as he thinks of quitting, Mark knows for certain that he won't ever do it.

Because then, he will just be wasting Jaebum's time and effort, and moreimportantly, throwing away his privilege of being with Jaebum and destroying their precious relationship.

And Mark doesn't want that.

No matter how much he wants to quit, those things still hold a larger portion of his heart.

Jaebum is-

The door opens and Jaebum enters with plastic bags in hand.

He shrugs off his outerwear and places the bags beside Mark before going to the room to put his belongings.

"Eat up. I bought chicken. No soup, sorry."

Jaebum grins as he puls Mark up from his lying position and begins to unpack, while Mark stares at him silently.

"Mark? What's wrong?"

Jaebum asks, finally noticing Mark's silence.

But Mark just shakes his head, his lips curling up to a small smile.

"Nothing."

Jaebum looks at Mark for a while, and reaches over to pat his head.

"You've worked hard."

Jaebum smiles back with a loving smile and Mark can't help the fluttering in his chest.

Jaebum is the reason he keeps going.

--

"Don't ever give up on me."

Mark says one night, plucking up all his courage and makes this one, single demand, looking straight into Jaebum's eyes.

Jaebum is silent for a minute, before he reaches out, his strong, rough hand meeting Mark's slender ones 

He gives Mark's hand a squeeze and Mark feels a squeeze in his heart as well.

All Mark ever needs in this life is Jaebum.

And if Jaebum is by his side...

"I won't."

Mark is sure he can survive anything.

hey :)

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