“Good evening, Didi,” Kris said as he came across the now all too familiar den which had at one time been Tao’s favoured hiding spot when things got rough, “I’m sorry that I’m late today but manager-nim made me work till closing and a really rowdy couple decided to have a full blown argument and flung things around so I had to clean it all up afterwards.”

Kris half expected to hear a chuckle at that would come from one of his many coffee shop stories but these days there was no response. No figure hiding in the overgrown brambles that covered the walled in section and no bright and cheeky smile to bring forth the sunlight. It still stung, even though it was over two years ago that it had all happened but Kris had never let go of the guilt that tried to eat away at his heart every single day. But he would persevere and try to make the best of whatever situation that he could find himself in because that was what he had always done with Tao and old habits were hard to kill off it appeared. At least he chose to visit Tao virtually every other day, unlike his father who practically did everything in his power to erase the boy from existence like he had never even been born.

He wouldn’t even have Tao’s name placed onto the family tomb, there again Kris was thankful for that because just last month he had to sell the plot of land in order to pay off the rent arrears and now had his families ashes held in a single box which he had hidden up in the attic along with everything else that he could afford to steal away out of the destructive man’s reach.

Gently he wound his long fingers together and looked towards the den which Tao and his friends had set up when they were youngsters before all of the sad times had hit them. It was still somewhat of a marvel that it was still there, undisturbed and rather neglected but there were stories from the local children that a ghost was in the den and he would scare away anyone who came to close. Kris had reprimanded Tao lightly for that and told him to be nice to the other children but he hadn’t seen any indication to prove that there had been a change. Smiling, he imagined that Tao was sitting in the entrance, clothes covered in mud and leaves, eyes looking blood shot from crying and his eye bags more prominent due to the obvious lack of sleep but that familiar goofy smile on his face that he always wore around Kris.

Returning the grin to his spectral brother, Kris let out a sigh and moved to grab his bag, “Though I’ll tell you one thing good that came out of today, Didi,” he pulled out the notebook with the puppy design on the front and the messy hangul on the inner cover, “Remember I told you about that boy who keeps on staring at him as if he’s trying to work out who I am? Well it’s Chanyeol for certain, the boy whom I always used to hang out with. See he left this book at the cafe and there’s no other like it in the entire world so it’s got to be him. Don’t you agree?”

Again there was no response but Kris somehow felt a feeling of curious relief and joy go through his body, “I don’t know if he remembers me or not...he still hasn’t talked to me but he keeps on staring and trying which has got to be a good sign, right?”

There was a distant rumble of thunder and Kris glanced up at the sky, feeling the first drops of rain hitting his cheeks. “Oh my, I thought I would have maybe a little more time tonight but appears not. Here I brought you some cakes and Pan-pan cause I know you don’t like the storms too much but I can’t stay with you all night...though you probably already know that.” Blushing a little, Kris gently placed the wrapped sandwiches down in the safer interior of the bramble covered boxes and then added a small rather battered looking panda plush as well. Just for a second he thought that he felt hands reaching out to take the bear from his fingers but the touch was fleeting and gone before he could really focus on it.

Pulling himself upright, Kris bit back the tears that wanted to overflow, “Goodnight Tao. Don’t let the storm scare you too much okay?” gently he took a step back; “I’ll try and get over tomorrow, depending on how things go. Don’t worry though; your Gege will be fine.”

Turning away from the small den, Kris took his customary three steps forward and paused to listen for any sounds from the den. There were none excluding the additional roll of thunder and he closed his eyes before hurrying away, determined to not cry in a public place and bring unwanted attention onto himself. He had cried more than enough over Tao and his unfortunate death and he knew that he needed to move on from it. But how could he when he blamed himself for the loss of his younger brother’s life?

~*~

The rather obnoxiously loud ringtone which Lay must have set because there was no way on earth that Kyungsoo would ever dare to pick such a ghastly tune as that, even though he had done so just to annoy the others whenever it rang, drilled through said persons head at the ungodly hour of three thirty am. Blearily, the smallest of the three friends made a grab for his phone with the intention of just shutting it off but a quick glance at the caller ID had him groaning and answering the phone regardless, “You better have a good reason for...”

“Does your place have a lost and found section?” Chanyeol’s voice cut straight through Kyungsoo’s tired mind, “Or at least somewhere where missing things are handed in.”

“Yes...?” Kyungsoo drawled, wondering what was going on, “Usually it goes to the manager’s office to the safe...” another groan came out of his mouth, “Before you ask Channie, no we can’t go to the shop now cause it’s three thirty in the morning and no one will be there.”

It was almost possible to hear the pout at the opposite end of the line, “I wasn’t going to say that! I know it’s early but I had to check everywhere first before calling you.”

“What have you lost now?” Kyungsoo almost didn’t ask the question but considering that this was Chanyeol he was dealing with it was a safer bet than trying to work it out later when the other would be in a complete state over whatever he had lost. Chanyeol hated loosing things, well things that were important to him by some standards and for him to be ringing at stupid o’clock in the morning it had to be something precious indeed.

“My Puppy Book,” Chanyeol said his voice almost quiet and lost.

Sitting upright in bed, Kyungsoo blinked in surprise and noted that Lay was shifting ever so slightly in the bed next to him, “But you always check for that book first.”

“I know,” Chanyeol said, “but I got so flustered today that I didn’t and now it’s missing and...I know it’s just a book but it’s the one thing that I’ve got and...”

“Channie,” Kyungsoo cooed lightly into the phone, making some half hearted signal towards Lay who was certainly waking up now, “I know I get how much that book means to you. Look me and Lay have lectures first thing in the morning but we’re free at Lunchtime so we can go to the shop then with you and check for it. I’m sure that it’ll be there and there’s no need to panic.”

“But what if it’s gone or some kid has picked it up because it is really cute,” Chanyeol had to be pouting now, “I don’t want to lose that book.”

Lay took the phone off of Kyungsoo, who had whispered the basics towards him and smiled brightly so his dimples were showing even though Chanyeol couldn’t see, “Hey hey, Channie. Look, I’m sure no one but manager-nim has that book and he’ll have it all nice and safe in his office so there’s no need to panic. I’ve got a slightly later start time than Kyungsoo in the morning so if you want I can meet you for breakfast and we can go and get it then okay?”

The phone was pulled away sharply from his ear as Chanyeol yelled something loudly and probably disturbed his roommate but Lay was quick to respond, “I take that as a yes, now listen happy virus, you need to settle down and get some sleep right now. Can you do that for me?”

“Sure, what time will I meet you?” Chanyeol asked, completely back to his normal happy-go-lucky self.

“Say about nine by the fountain in the park?” Lay suggested, then agreed and finally got off the phone five minutes later. He let out a sigh of relief and rubbed at his temples, “Anyone else and I swear that I would have murdered them for that.”

Kyungsoo nodded half heartedly as he switched the phone to mute and laid his head back down on his pillow, “I know what you mean. Though what is so special about that book anyway? I’ve never got that one.”

Lay bit his lip for a second or two, thinking best how to explain, “It’s the only thing he’s got of a friend that he had from that time. A very special friend whom clearly cared a lot for him cause those books are still expensive to this day and it’s one thing that he just always keeps with him.”

“Does he ever write it in?” Kyungsoo asked, just on the verge of falling asleep again.

“Sometimes, maybe, I don’t know,” Lay shrugged as he settled himself down for the rest of the night, “I once just caught him looking at it, almost as if he were trying to get it to reveal some form of secret or something. In a way I think that book contains Chanyeol’s heart but...” he twisted his head to the side before clicking his tongue against the back of his teeth, “Yah, already asleep. Might’ve known.”

Pulling his quilt up, Lay closed his eyes and let himself drift off back to sleep, hoping that Chanyeol would be actually following his advice right now.

~*~

Chanyeol was in bed but he wasn’t sleeping, unlike his roommate who was snoring very loudly and in the most obnoxious manner going but for once the large giant just wasn’t paying attention. Instead he was searching through the pages of an old school yearbook in an attempt to calm his mind about at least one major question that had been haunting it all day.

He knew the name Tao very well, he just couldn’t think of where it was from.

On a whim he had decided to check the yearbook after he had stopped having a panic attack about the puppy book which had nothing other than the messy hangul written inside the cover, and after scrolling through the pages several times he came across a picture of a young boy with black hair, large round eyes and the cutest set of eye bags going. The picture was on a separate page in the book, slightly larger than the rest and there was a name of ‘Li Zitao’ with a set of dates underneath and then a beautifully crafted poem of remembrance that broke his heart. A quick flick to the front of the book confirmed that the boy had died the year before this yearbook had been produced and that meant that in the year before that Zitao would have been just another face amongst the others in the class register.

Chanyeol sighed, running his fingers down the face of the student and trying to recall what had happened. Sure the kid had to be in one of the lower years but still the death of a student would be big news throughout the whole school. Gently he sighed, “I’m sorry, Zitao, I’ll try to remember what happened to you but it’s just not coming back right now.”

Flipping to a random page, he had to laugh when he found himself looking at his old class mates and he grimaced at his dorky school photograph which was just as bad as he recalled it. Though his eyes were drawn to the bottom right hand corner where there was a student with prominent cheek bones, dark eyes, short black hair and plump kissable lips. He blinked and traced the picture carefully, reading the name, “Li Jiaheng”.

Emotions ran through his heart that he couldn’t identify and automatically he raised a hand to his head, running his fingers along a fine scar that was thankfully hidden by his long black hair. Gently he furrowed his brows, “Why do I know you?” he asked aloud, before leaning back and reading aloud, “Former Captain of the basket ball team...but Daizhyung, you’d loved your game, why did you leave it?”

There was no answer for his question of course but it did make Chanyeol start to think back to what he could remember from two years ago. Before the drunk driver had suddenly swerved to avoid something and gone crashing straight into his body instead, or so he had been told when he had woken up a month or so later. Chanyeol sighed, worried his lip about who would be the best person to ask before opting to just wait it out and get that precious book back. He was sure that would hold the key that he was looking for in order to get his missing memories back and he couldn’t wait to have it back in his hands were it belonged.  

authors babbling

well this plot is certainly thickening but I hope it's still enough to keep you all interested. Thanks to everyone whose subbed and commented, I'm glad that I'm doing an okay job given that this is my first Krisyeol so that makes me happy. 

Oh if anyone's got a Wattpadd account or has some free time to give me a critique on an original kpop inspired story can you give me a heads up? I need some feedback on a fic of mine and it would be a great help to see what other kpop fans think of it. Drop me a message and I'll foreward details

Anyway, hope you enjoy this madness and I'll catch you again soon

Love and hugs

Chia