Wonshik feels a huge soapy weight lift from his shoulders. He watches as the two youngest members play with the bubbles forming in the dish bin and thinks he’s the one doing Hongbin a favor. You’re welcome, Binnie.

Stirring honey in his coffee, Wonshik has given up explaining to Taekwoon that he needs to finish these lyrics tonight or else he could lose his vision for the song he’s working on. He knew Taekwoon was trying to avoid the conversation by simply feeding him cookies to shut him up. Once he realized that Taekwoon wasn’t going to stop after the second cookie went down the hatch, he decided to talk just so Taekwoon would waste his cookies.

It was working until Hakyeon intercepted the fifth cookie from meeting Wonshik’s tongue. Taekwoon was so busy trying to shut the rapper up he didn’t realize the rapper would stop talking at the raise of the cookie and wait for the cookie to enter his mouth, and then continue talking.

“Hyung,” Wonshik watched as Hakyeon took the bag of cookies and placed them back in the pantry, while holding Wonshik’s cookie in between his teeth.

“Enough of that. Taekwoon, let Wonshik do what he wants. If he feels it’s that important to not hang out with the rest of us just to finish his song that’s fine.” This time, all three boys at the table exchanged glances. While Jaehwan was not involved in the conversation or the exchanging of cookies, he was very aware that their leader had used a certain tone in his last sentence that meant no good for at least one member.

So now, instead of working on his lyrics like he’s begged the better half of the hour for, he’s still sitting at the kitchen table. Sitting at the kitchen table, which is yet again filled with silence. Jaehwan’s face is still angled towards his shoes, Taekwoon has taken an interest in seeing what Jaehwan finds so fascinating at his feet. Hakyeon keeps stirring his coffee, now with a face that matches the tone Wonshik just received.

The two boys at the sink are oblivious to the tension behind them. Wonshik now envies the dishwashers. Funny how things change.

Taekwoon stands and walks past the table the long way to the sink, making sure to take a peek at what’s holding Jaehwan interest. Wonshik sees the flash of annoyance cross Taekwoon’s face when he sees the flashcards in Jaehwan’s lap. Wonshik hears a soft sigh and watches Taekwoon walk to the boys’ bedroom.

“Well, I hope you two have fun working while the rest of us…” Hakyeon looks to the bedroom door as if Taekwoon might pop out at any moment and help him with the guilt trip he’s trying to send the boys. “While the rest of us just have fun.” Wonshik knows the comment is directed at the two boys seated at the table rather than the two boys physically working on the dishes.

Wonshik can see a loss of focus in Jaehwan. He himself had lost his the moment Hakyeon snatched the cookie away from him. Now he just feels foolish he fought so hard for lyrics he is not and never was one hundred percent behind. Rather than his so-called ‘roll’ he’s shown so much concern over he realizes now the lyrics are less of a ‘roll’ and more of an antacid pill. Something just to settle the feeling in his stomach.

It’s too late, now. Wonshik can’t possibly roll his earphones up and put his pad of paper and pen away. He’s in too deep. Made his case too strong. He has to follow through with some lyrics, right? If only he could remember what those lyrics were…

His mind blanks when he watches Hakyeon leave the table, push in his chair and disappear in the bedroom. The two remaining boys exchange yet another glance and this time Wonshik’s raised eyebrows are met with a shrug from Jaehwan. Jaehwan must agree, it’s too late now.

Hakyeon leaves the bedroom backside first. He seems to be finishing a conversation with Taekwoon and Wonshik can hear the smile in his voice. He thinks he can even hear a soft smile from the boy in the bedroom.

Once Hakyeon’s body is fully out of the bedroom Wonshik can see he has his hands full. Instead of jeans and a knit sweater Hakyeon is now in loose gray sweatpants and a sweatshirt to match. His hands are full with a ball of yarn, knitting needles, and his own tablet with earphones plugged in already, hanging loosely on his neck. All of this on top of a large fleece blanket, creating a perfect safety net should a needle slip through the leader’s soft hands.

The smile on his face immediately dissipates at the sight of the two boys still sitting at the table. Wonshik ducks his head into his coffee cup to avoid the glare he’s afraid to meet should he look up. When enough time has passed and he can no longer hear any movement coming from the couch in the living area, Wonshik sneaks a peek.

Hakyeon sits Indian style on the couch, the ball of yarn trying to share space on his lap with his tablet. Wonshik walks towards the living area and reaches for his own earphones. He casts glances towards Hakyeon every now and then. What he sees he shouldn’t be upset about, but somehow he feels even more unsettled than before.

What he sees is a happy leader silently giggling at whatever show is playing on his tablet. Every few glances Wonshik takes he catches Hakyeon squint his eyes at the screen and wiggle his shoulders cutely at something on the show. Wonshik has given up on the glances and is now full on staring at the older boy. There’s a small smile forming on his face just by watching Hakyeon enjoy time to himself.

He can also see that every so many passes on his knit the ball of yarn rolls into the view of the tablet. Hakyeon sets the needles down, readjusts the yarn, and goes back to knitting. An act Wonshik sees as an annoyance even from afar. He sees no trace of annoyance on Hakyeon’s face, though.

After the third adjustment of the yarn Wonshik abandons his own earphones and walks over to the couch. It takes a few minutes for Hakyeon to pause his show and give Wonshik the time he knows he doesn’t deserve. If Wonshik had a tail it would most definitely be hanging between his legs, now.

“Kim Wonshik?” Hakyeon’s smile hasn’t worn off just yet, which Wonshik takes to be a good sign.

“Hyung,” Wonshik searches his mind for a correct apology, but the words never come.

Hakyeon raises a single eyebrow and his smile widens. He’s enjoying the rapper fumble with words that he’s always prided himself on.

He searches for some help in the kitchen. Jaehwan is now watching the scene before him, flashcards on the table next to his now empty coffee cup. He offers another shrug and waits for Wonshik to make his move.

“Here,” Wonshik motions for Hakyeon to give him some room under the blanket. He lifts the ball of yarn and tablet from Hakyeon’s lap and tucks the shorter boy in, then makes sure he himself is securely under the blanket. He takes the needles from Hakyeon’s hands and sets them across his own lap while he situates the tablet in the leader’s lap. He angles the tablet a few different times, pausing in between each movement to lean into Hakyeon’s perspective to make sure there isn’t a glare.

Once he finds the perfect angle, he hands Hakyeon the dwindling ball of yarn and holds out his hands shoulder-width apart. Hakyeon’s smile softens and he knows exactly what Wonshik is doing. It only takes a few minutes for Hakyeon to find the cut end from the middle of the ball and tucks it between Wonshik’s fingers on his left hand. He unravels the yarn against Wonshik’s hands and Wonshik has now become Hakyeon’s yarn dispenser.

Hakyeon has roped all of the members into being his yarn dispenser at least once during their time living together. It’s been at least a year since Wonshik has seen Hakyeon’s knitting needles out, but he hopes to see them out more often.

Wonshik’s focus in now keeping his hands out and steady so the yarn doesn’t bunch up or knot. He tips his head back on the couch and lets out a content sigh. His mind is clear and stomach finally settled.

After a few passes Wonshik feels slack from the yarn and lifts his head quickly, afraid he’s caused a knot. His right ear is met with Hakyeon’s earphone. He let’s Hakyeon fuss about the plug not fitting right at first and lets him adjust his own angle to make sure he has a clear view of the tablet, too.

Hakyeon motions for Wonshik to take a look at the tablet and gives a thumbs up to make sure Wonshik can see. Wonshik nods and opens his mouth, hoping this time his words don’t fail him.

“Hyung—“

“Shhh, it’s starting.” Hakyeon selects a movie and picks up his needles and begins working again.

Wonshik closes his mouth and let’s the start of the movie fill his right ear. He’s forgotten about his fake roll and the lyrics he had in his mind to write, thinking now that a break might do his mind some good. He’s finally used to the settling feeling in his stomach when he feels Hakyeon’s head lean against his shoulder. He can see the leader’s hands still working and a smile still on his face.

Wonshik’s stomach once again stirs, but he doesn’t mind the feeling so much anymore.