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Wrote this in one. So, please excuse any typos or other errors.

And for those of you who are looking forward to the next chapter of my ongoing fic "In the End", that will be coming up shortly!

Happy reading!  (*^_^)

 

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One-Shot: Not Always Your Way

 

What was that about?

All the Got7 members were leaving the stage. JinYoung was just behind him, but, as had become usual these days, he made no attempt to touch him in any way. It was strange.

On the way home, JinYoung rode in another car from Mark. Thankfully, Jackson sat next to Mark and he was in the mood to kid around. He was able to successfully distract him from his thoughts with his joking and skinship.

At least Jackson hadn't changed...

*                                 *                                 *                                 *                                 *

It seemed as though ever since they'd got that new choreography where JinYoung shoved Mark to the ground, he'd been shoving Mark away in real life. It had got to the point where Mark didn't even feel he could go up and hug him during the filming of the Crazy Boyfriend version of their newest song, "Stop Stop It".

It was even easier to hug JB.

And he really seemed to like that hug . . .

Mark thought that at least during a fan meeting JinYoung would be a little friendlier, so he had taken the chance to sidle up right next to him.

No reaction.

So, he'd taken it a step further. He wasn't about to have JinYoung pull away from a kiss on the cheek, so he decided to blow in his ear.

JinYoung stood there stoically, as though nothing was happening. Until he couldn't stand it anymore, and then . . .

He flinched.

When Mark stepped away, grinning, JinYoung tapped him on the shoulder, the most skinship Mark had felt in a while, before turning to blow back at him.

But, it wasn't the playful JinYoung Mark was used to.

When they ate dinner, JinYoung sat between JB and YoungJae and didn't say much. It seemed to Mark that he was trying not to look in his direction.

After clearing the table and helping clean up the kitchen, Mark went to his room.

He didn't know what was going on, but he missed his close friend.

*                                 *                                 *                                 *                                 *

"What's going on between you and JinYoung?"

Great now even Jackson's noticed.

"Nothing."

"Nothing is right. I haven't had any reason to say, "Ewwww" for a while now."

"Great, Jackson," Mark responded.

"I'm just saying. It seems weird," he commented.

"How're things going in the Roommate house?" Mark asked trying to change the subject.

"Oh, well . . . " started Jackson.

And he spent the next half hour talking about that. Much to Mark's relief.

*                                 *                                 *                                 *                                 *

They were on the way back from their schedules for the day. This time, JinYoung rode in the same van as Mark. He got in first and Mark was directly behind him, but he didn't take the seat beside him as he usually would. He slid into the seat farthest away from him and looked out the window.

JinYoung felt funny.

Mark always sits next to me.

He pouted inwardly, shooting Mark glances from time to time as they were driven back to the dorm.

But, Mark never turned to look at him once.

 

As Mark looked out the window, he started recalling all the times JinYoung and he had touched each other.

He'd started noticing a pattern.

Often, when he'd initiate skinship between them, JinYoung decided whether he felt like going along with it that day or not. Usually he did. But, sometimes, he didn't. Sometimes when Mark tried to joke around with him, he'd just deadpan and Mark would end up looking ridiculous. But anytime JinYoung threw his arm around Mark, held his hand or even kissed him, Mark would, for the most part, go along with it. They were close, so it felt . . . nice. Even if it was sometimes shocking and unexpected.

So, on that ride home, Mark decided something.

And JinYoung, he thought to himself, will just have to live with it.

Over the next few days, JinYoung started feeling unsettled. Mark wasn't coming anywhere near him. He wouldn't stand or sit next to him, either at interviews or in the car. Mark wouldn't speak to him except to give him a short answer to necessary questions. Mark wouldn't even look at him. But, he wasn't like that to the others.

YoungJae and JB were especially enjoying the benefits of a very huggy Mark. After a few warm hugs from Mark, JB seemed suddenly to be smiling non-stop.

And Jackson . . .

Mark seemed to be always touching Jackson and gazing into his eyes. And Jackson, never avoiding him, always gazed back.

He also always seemed to be positioned between the two maknaes during fan events. And they certainly weren't complaining . . . Even the shy, retiring YuGyeom was getting in on the action.

Was that a backhug? From YuGyeom?

Even when JinYoung moved to stand next to him, Mark leaned away and towards . . .

Bam-Bam? Did Mark just lean away from me and lay his head on Bam-Bam's shoulder?

All in all, Mark was smiling with, laughing with, sitting next to, hugging and touching everyone in the group.

Except JinYoung.

Members were touching him. Fans were touching him. Even the staff. Only JinYoung couldn't seem to get near.

JinYoung sat smiling at the fans who had come out to support him. But, he occasionally glanced in Mark's direction. Mark always looked happy. But, just like that day in the car when this all started, he never looked at him.

It was all starting to drive JinYoung a little crazy.

On the way home in the car that night, it was more of the same. At dinner, even more. Jinyoung didn't think he could take it anymore. He needed to talk to Mark. But he needed to do it when Mark was alone. That meant, he'd have to wait until Jackson returned to the Roommate house.

*                                 *                                 *                                 *                                 *

JinYoung had felt nervous all day. He knew that tonight was the night Jackson would sleep at the Roommate house, so he would finally get his chance to talk to Mark. He really wanted to, but he was also scared to death. What if Mark just walked away from him? He exhaled heavily, trying to calm himself and get his heart rate back to normal. Why was he so anxious? It was only talking to Mark. They were together every day.

Pull yourself together, Pak Jinyoung.

 

From the living room, he watched when Mark walked from the bathroom to his room wearing his pajamas.

The time had finally come.

Well, it's now or never. Okay, stop being dramatic, JinYoung. It's now or some other time . .

But it felt like it was now or never. If things kept up like this between them, he didn't think he would be able to, again, at some later date, summon up the nerve to speak to him about it. The longer something like this dragged out, the further they would grow apart from one another, and that meant, that at some point, they would reach the point of no return, band member or no band member. So, they had to talk this out.

Now.

He knocked.

"Yes?"

"It's me. JinYoung. Can I come in?"

A moment passed.  And then.

"Sure," Mark answered none-too-enthusiastically.

He isn't going to make this easy, JinYoung sighed to himself as he turned the handle.

Mark was still rubbing a towel through his hair. His thick hair always took a long time to dry. JinYoung had helped him with it once or twice. Maybe that would be a good place to start.

"Need help drying your hair?"

"No, I'm alright," Mark replied. "Did you want something?"

I want you to hold my hand and smile at me and gaze at me and hug me like you used to, JinYoung wanted to gush.

But he didn't.

Instead, he asked, "Have I done anything to make you mad?"

"No," was Mark's short reply.

"Oh . . . "

JinYoung didn't know where to take the conversation after that. He'd assumed if Mark was mad at him he would just come out and tell him and they would talk it out. Then, they would be just like they were before.

But, it seemed, he'd assumed wrong. But, he had to make another stab at it.

"Well, I just noticed that things aren't the same between us as they used to be," he attempted.

Mark just looked at him, head tilted to the side, still drying his hair. JinYoung got the feeling he was disturbing him. He was tempted to just say 'goodnight' and leave, but he couldn't.

"Do you know what I mean?" he tried.

"What do you mean, JinYoung?" Mark asked inexpressively.

"I . . . I . . . "

What did he mean?

"I mean, we don't seem to be as close as we used to be . . . "

" . . . as close as we used to be . . . " Mark mused.

"Yes . . . " JinYoung faltered a little, but he couldn't give up now. "I just noticed that we don't sit together or . . . or anything . . . these days."

"Oh, is that what you noticed?" Mark enquired.

Mark's piercing gaze as he asked that question rattled JinYoung a little.

"Yes, " he continued. "I was just wondering why that is?"

"I've noticed a few things too, JinYoung-ah."

What did he mean by that?

"I've noticed that you seem to think it's all about you. Well, it's not. Not anymore," Mark stated.

JinYoung felt like Mark had slapped him. He was stunned.

"All about me?"

"Yes. All about you."

"What do you mean?"

Mark turned away from him.

"Maybe you ought to think about that yourself. I'm going to bed now."

"But, your hair isn't dry yet," JinYoung responded in a small voice.

"Goodnight, JinYoung," Mark said definitively.

JinYoung had no choice but to leave the room.

"Goodnight, Mark . . . ."

JinYoung thought of nothing else but Mark's words as he got undressed and got into bed. As he pulled the covers up around his chin, he could still hear Mark's voice; still see his face, his hardened expression.

What did I do? What did I do?

He must have hurt Mark in some way. But how had he done that? He had no idea.

He told me to think about it, so he thought about it.

When had this started? He thought about the last couple of weeks. Everything was normal, until . . .

. . .

 

*                                 *                                 *                                 *                                 *

"Mark," JinYoung whispered as he knocked softly.

No response.

"Mark, I'm coming in, okay?"

No response.

He must already be asleep. But we have to talk tonight while Jackson isn't here . . .

He opened the door.

"Mark," he called again as he walked over to the side of his bed.

Mark lay facing the wall.

"Mark, are you awake?"

"I was just falling off to sleep," he answered groggily.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," JinYoung apologized.

"What is it?"

JinYoung did something bold. He crawled over Mark in one movement and positioned himself between Mark and the wall.

This was the closest they'd been in weeks.

"What are you doing?" Mark asked, clearly perturbed.

"I'm doing what I should have done all those weeks ago," JinYoung responded and he pulled Mark into his arms.

But Mark didn't hug back. He just said in his ear:

"You just don't get it, do you?"

JinYoung pulled away, hurt. He thought this was what Mark wanted.

"No, I guess I don't. Help me get it, Mark. Tell me what I did wrong. I'll make it better."

"What if I don't want you to make it better? What if I like things better like this?"

JinYoung pulled Mark into another, tighter embrace.

"No . . . " he breathed. "I can't stand it the way it is between us now."

"Oh, YOU can't stand it. You! It's always about you! You and how you feel! Well, what about me? What about how I feel?" he asked angrily.

"Mark, please don't be angry with me," JinYoung pleaded. He had never seen or heard Mark like this. It was scaring him.

Mark pulled back and looked into JinYoung's eyes.

"Can't you understand? It's always about you. It's always been about you. When you're in the mood, you're nice to me. When you're not in the mood, you're cold and standoffish. You push me away and then I have to walk away with a dumb smile on my face pretending it doesn't hurt. But, it does hurt, JinYoung. I'm always there for you. I'm always happy with any bit of affection you show me, because I like you so much. You know so many things. You have so much experience. I admire you. But when you're tired of playing with me, you just toss me into the corner like an old rag doll. It hurts," he said trembling.

JinYoung looked at Mark's face. The pain was so evident. He just wanted to his face and pull him close and hold him; hold him so tightly that he could feel how much he missed him . . . how much he needed him. And how truly sorry he was.

"Mark, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you." He smiled a small smile as he lifted his hand to Mark's face. "I admire you, Mark. You've come from so far away to pursue your dream. Another country. Another language. Another culture. You work so hard. And . . . you've been such a good friend to me." JinYoung gazed deeply into his eyes. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I promise. Just . . . just don't stop caring about me . . . please."

Mark lifted his arms and wrapped them around JinYoung. And they held each other tightly.

"I missed you so much," he breathed against Mark's neck. "I missed being close to you."

"I missed you, too," Mark sighed in answer.

"Mark . . . I . . . missed you . . . so  . . . much," he whispered quietly, his voice breaking slightly as tears began to slowly collect in his eyes.

"JinYoung-ah . . ." Mark pulled away just far enough to look at JinYoung's face. A tear was rolling across his nose. Mark swiped it away gently with his thumb. "JinYoung-ah . . . " he repeated quietly.

And then he did something no one expected. Not even him.

He placed a soft kiss on JinYoung's beautiful, generous lips.

JinYoung looked at him, shocked at what he'd just done. He searched his eyes for a sign of a joke or revenge or whatever else. But none of that was there. Just honesty. And sincerity. There was only one thing he could do. Only one thing he wanted to do.

He leaned forward and captured Mark's lips with his own.

It was Mark's turn to be shocked.

Once the kiss ended, Mark pulled back to look at JinYoung to figure out what he meant by doing that. Did he feel guilty? Was he just trying to make Mark feel better?

But no. None of that was in his expression.

Only honesty. And openness. And . . .

They both saw it, in each other's eyes at the exact same time.

Love.

As Mark leaned in, JinYoung smiled as he thought before accepting another soft, sweet kiss:

It's so nice when Mark starts things . . .

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Thanks!  (*^_^)

Gifs not mine.