Today is Hyunseong’s wedding. The ceremony is beautiful. White decorating the room, spots of red from roses stains the colorless fabrics like blood. Jeongmin thinks Hyunseong’s wife looks beautiful, but not as beautiful as Hyunseong himself.

    Jeongmin has been drinking a lot since the ceremony started.

    Now it’s the after party and Jeongmin is still drinking. He’s watching Hyunseong and his wife slow dance to a song he cannot recognize due to the drinks making his mind slightly fuzzy. Hyunseong looks really happy. Jeongmin wonders that if he had told Hyunseong that he loved him years ago, before he met his future wife, before this wedding, would anything change? Would Hyunseong have accepted his confession or turn him down and everything would be exactly the same?

    Head pounding, Jeongmin sits down at a table and rests his head. A few minutes later he hears someone pull out a chair next to him, “You okay buddy?” Donghyun.

    “I’m great.” Jeongmin mutters, “Just great.”

    Donghyun looks between Hyunseong with his wife and Jeongmin, “They both look beautiful today.” Donghyun comments.

    “They really do, don’t they?” Jeongmin slightly picks up his head to take another peek at Hyunseong. His head hurts too much. Donghyun removes the beer bottle from Jeongmin’s hands.

    “Cheer up a bit buddy, Hyunseong’s married! It’s a day to celebrate.”

    “That’s the exact reason I’m so bummed out…” Jeongmin responds.

    “Huh?”

    Jeongmin sighs. Might as well tell someone, “I’m in love with Shim Hyunseong. Probably around the time we started promoting Obsession I realized, Hyunseong’s a really handsome guy. I thought it was just physical at first because who wouldn’t appreciate a guy as chiseled Hyunseong was then? Then I realized he’s really caring and smart and nice and he make me laugh. Then I think toward the end of that year I realized I really, really liked him.” Jeongmin inhaled, “And I never got around to telling him.” Jeongmin does not look at Donghyun in the face, he just stares at the center of the table the whole time he talks.

    Donghyun listened carefully. It was a complicated situation. Jeongmin is in love with Hyunseong, but Hyunseong just got married. Donghyun didn’t want to see his friend so sad.

    “That , man.” Donghyun patted Jeongmin on the back, “It’s slightly late to confess to Hyunseong, but maybe you can inform him. Let him know and get it off your back you know? Good luck Jeongmin.” The sound of the chair legs scratching onto the floor when Donghyun leaves makes Jeongmin’s headache even worst.

    Jeongmin contemplated on leaving. Why did he even come here? Seeing Hyunseong getting married to someone else would only make him feel depressed. Maybe going to this wedding gave Jeongmin a perception on what his wedding with Hyunseong could’ve been.

    “Hey.”

    Jeongmin looked up to see Hyunseong in his nice suit and white tie and looking amazing.

    “Hey.” Jeongmin responds, suddenly stiffening.

    “Are you okay?” Hyunseong sits besides Jeongmin and places his hand on Jeongmin’s knee, “You don’t seem too alright.”

    Jeongmin looks at Hyunseong, “I’m wonderful, don’t worry about me.” Jeongmin laughs harshly. Jeongmin looks away and scans the room for Hyunseong’s wife. She’s rapidly chatting with the bridesmaids across the room. Suddenly another slow song is played by the DJ.

    “Would dancing making you feel better?” Hyunseong asks, transferring his hand that was on Jeongmin’s knee to his forearm. Hyunseong will be the death of Jeongmin.

    “I don’t want to dance with a bridesmaid Hyunseong.”

    “You don’t have to, dance with me.” Hyunseong smiled brightly at Jeongmin and guided him to dance floor. Hyunseong’s hands are really warm.

    Hyunseong places his hands on Jeongmin’s hips and Jeongmin automatically wrapped his arms around Hyunseong’s neck, “Since when was I the girl in this dance?” Jeongmin joked.

    “Since you were shorter than me.” Hyunseong chuckled. Jeongmin smelled faintly of alcohol, but Hyunseong ignored it. For the rest of the song they dance in silence. Hyunseong keeps making Jeongmin fall harder and harder.

    When the song ended, the two went to go sit back down.

    “Hyung, do you think she’s the one?” Jeongmin asks. Voice slightly wavering.

    Hyunseong looks over at his wife and a small smile breaks through, “I’m not sure to be honest. I had a crush on someone who I thought was the one and apparently I was wrong.”

    “Wrong?”

    Hyunseong places his hand on Jeongmin’s jawline, thumbing his cheek slightly, “Yeah,” He breathed, “They just didn’t like me the same way I did. So I moved on.” Hyunseong sighed and turns away from Jeongmin, “Then I met Minha and she helped me feel better.”

    “Hyunseong, you need to stop doing that.”

    “Doing what?”

    “You need to stop… Being so intimate with me. You’re married, stop doing this to me Shim Hyunseong.” Jeongmin abruptly stands up.

    “Jeongmin? What are you talking about?” Jeongmin quickly leaves before Hyunseong could catch him.

~

    Hyunseong finds Jeongmin on the front stairs of the restaurant where the after party was held.

    “Jeongmin…” Hyunseong sit besides him. Jeongmin has his face in his hands. The scent of alcohol on Jeongmin is slightly stronger than before.

    Hyunseong tried to remove Jeongmin’s hands from his face, “Jeongmin… What’s wrong?”

    “You. You are what’s wrong Shim Hyunseong.” Jeongmin sighed loudly and removed his hands from his face. Jeongmin looks tired.

    “Me?”

    “Yes, you. You and your dumb abs. You and your dumb fruit cutting obsession. You and your adorable smile. You and your dumb humor. You. It’s you. And I’ve always like dumb you and I don’t know why I told you so late. Now you’re married to Minha and I’m so ing dumb.” Jeongmin laughs harshly, then pulls a random bottle of wine from nowhere, “Cheers to broken hearts amiright?”

    Hyunseong just stared at Jeongmin. Not sure what to say. Jeongmin continued, “Honestly, I was planning on confessing on your birthday in 2015. But you went out and met Minha, and I was too late. I was so goddamn sad that day. You brought Minha to the dorm and introduced her to me and I thought ‘damn she’s really pretty how would I ever match up to that?’ Then I decided I’d confess to you when you guys broke up. And obviously that day never came.” Jeongmin’s words were starting to slur.

    “Now it’s your wedding and I don’t even know why I came to your goddamn wedding, to see you get married to a really pretty girl, and to see you in your dumb suit and-” Hyunseong quickly placed his hand on Jeongmin’s neck. Hyunseong has always been touchy with Jeongmin.

    “Not this crap again, Hyunseong please.” There’s desperation in his voice, “Every time you do this to me I fall harder and nothings going to save me. Just stop.” Jeongmin’s eyes were teary.

    “Jeongmin. I loved you too. But I thought you would never reciprocate the feelings so I gave up. I wanted you to be happy, so I had to let you go.”

“Are you stupid? You can’t say you love me on the day of your wedding! You can’t up years of insecurity by just confessing back to me. What the are we doing? Hyunseong, you’re a married man. I can’t- We can’t- Even if we do like each other right now, at this moment, it’s too late because you’re already ing married. Why are we so goddamn dumb?” Jeongmin’s blubbering now. He leans into Hyunseong’s shoulder and starts to cry.

“Why are we so dumb Hyunseong?”

Hyunseong lifted Jeongmin’s face from his shoulder by his chin and kissed him. Hyunseong’s lips are soft and warm. Hyunseong also tastes like the frosting from the wedding cake. The kiss makes Jeongmin feel numb.  

Hyunseong quickly pulls back, “Jeongmin, I’m sor-” Jeongmin takes Hyunseong’s tie and pulls him in to kiss him again. Their second kiss was more desperate, Jeongmin climbed over Hyunseong so that he straddled his lap.

“J-Jeongmin stop.” Hyunseong croaks.

Jeongmin throws his head back and starts to laugh hysterically, “We’re so dumb Shim Hyunseong, we’re so ing dumb.”

Hyunseong laughs with Jeongmin, with the same level of hysteria, “I know we are. I know.”