“What’s with this cold front? It shouldn’t be this cold should it?” You asked your friend who was sitting across from you at your chosen circular table in your dorm-house cafeteria. “The temperature did start dropping pretty suddenly didn’t it?” You couldn’t really respond to her question with your mouth stuffed with bacon, eggs and pancakes. You merely hummed and nodded then continued consuming your breakfast. Your friend did the same only stopping for a brief second after looking up and over your shoulder and seeing a familiar face coming your way. “Here comes Jiho.” she said completely unenthused and you yourself didn’t even bother to look back and see him coming.

He stopped next to you but you kept eating. You could only see his legs at the edge of the table from your peripheral but that was all. “So it’s pretty early for you to be down here isn’t it?” He shifted and his hands went into the pockets of his grey pullover hoodie. “What are you guys doing?” You looked up at him with a blank expression. “Eating breakfast I know you’re kind of tall Xero but it can’t be that hard to see from up there. What do you want?” The smirk he was holding fell and his face scrunched for a second. His head turned a centimeter towards your friend so she would know he was talking to her though his eyes were still glued on you.

You went back to eating the rest of your food while it was still warm. “S-she’s calling me Xero again. Did I do something?” He asked and your friend shrugged. “Probably nothing out of the ordinary but I haven’t heard anything about you recently so I’d just say she doesn’t feel like being around you today.” She stated then went back to her breakfast. …you were both being as cold as the weather if not colder. But you were sure Jiho wasn’t the slightest bit bothered by it. He was so full of himself he never thought for a second that he could have possibly done anything to make anyone upset with him, he was perfect after all and by just being attractive alone meant he was exempt from scrutiny. You liked him honestly you did but at the same time you sincerely could not stand being around him anymore. “If you think I have a problem with you maybe you should ask me don’t you think Xero? Actually …I’m not too sure if you ever think.” You rolled your eyes.

                “Okay, so are you mad?” He asked, smirking because that’s his natural expression. He thinks everything is funny, a joke or a game with you. But it wasn’t. “Not mad, just tired. Is there any reason that you came to track me down? Better say it now because I’m about to go soon.” Your face was still blank but you blinked at him a few times. Your tone was more indifferent and cold than it had ever been with Jiho and clearly you had lost your patience with him but you were sincerely not angry you just wanted your space from him. “What are you doing later?” He asked now without hesitation seeing you visibly become tenser the longer he stood next to you. “Well… I already turned in my essay that was due today and my afternoon class was canceled. People are leaving for the Holiday and I thought I would do the same so I’m going home tonight to spend some time with my family for the weekend. Just relax.”

He half scoffed, half laughed at your statement. “When did you start lying? I know for a fact that your family doesn’t do holidays, they can barely get along for more than five minutes and you don’t like going home during the holidays because you said it’s depressing and miserable. So what-““Shin Jiho please leave me alone. I don’t need you bringing up my family life. I just decided I’d rather have dysfunctional company than no company this year. They’re hardly home anyway so maybe I can spend the entire weekend in my room watching childhood movies under a warm blanket in my own house. Is that alright with you?” Your friend looked between you and Xero quickly then down at her plate. There was no way she was getting into whatever was happening at the moment. It was not her fight. 

“But ________ we’re from the same neighborhood you could have asked me to at least come with you.”“One, you know my family, at least my dad, hates your guts. The last time I checked it was because you’re a narcissistic well maybe he doesn’t know about that part maybe he just thinks you’re an and since the 7^th grade when you made my 12^th birthday party all about you he wanted you nowhere near our house or me for that matter.  At this point I’m not even sure my mom remembers who you are and you know she hates strangers in her house and I just don’t want to hear what my sister would say, if anything. And two, what about my attitude makes you think I want you anywhere near me right now?” 

For once he had nothing to say and he didn’t look like he thought he was hot anymore. You weren’t even trying to make him feel bad but you weren’t going to feel sorry if you did. “This…is about what happened at the soccer game Tuesday night isn’t it?”  Bingo! “Nooo. No, it’s not. It’s not just about Tuesday after the soccer game or the Saturday before at dinner, not just Wednesday studying in the library or last month at the movies. There are a lot of times … a lot of them when you made it clear that you belonged to the public so I’m tired and you know what- “ You finally took a breath or let go of the one you were holding and calmed yourself down a bit before you said something you didn’t mean. “Xero could you just… go away please?” A disappointed look flashed on his face for a second. A corner of his mouth went up and tugged to the right in a straight …pitiful grimace which he let fall immediately. “Okay.” And then he walked away.

She only waited about ten seconds pass after he walked away before asking. “Did…something happen in the last 72 hours that took you from loving Shin Jiho to hating his guts? Because I’ve never seen you that upset and you were still kept  your cool but…you’re never like that with him. What’s up?”  She looked up at you over her tall cup of coffee. You could feel her eyes on you without looking up. “I don’t love him and I don’t hate his guts. He’s just always been difficult to deal with? And I guess I’m just tired of dealing with him and pretending that the things he says and the way he acts doesn’t bother me. I don’t even have to…right? We’re not dating we’re not even friends are we? I’ve just known him for a long time and it’s like we’re practically dating but we’re not. It’s so complicated and old and he...doesn’t even like me…I don’t think.” You sighed deeply and put down your fork. You couldn’t eat anymore.  “Now he’s ruined my breakfast.”

“You like him then. You like him a whole lot. I’ve never seen someone act so nonchalant about liking someone as much as you like him ________. How do you do that? In the dorm you light up when you talk about him but deny it when someone points it out. You don’t know a thing about soccer but you dress up and make signs for every one of his games. You act like you don’t care when he talks to you on campus but run to the dorm to tell me you saw him. In a group you two make everyone else feel like a third wheel but alone you can’t even look him in the eyes.” “Like I said he doesn’t like me so there’s no reason…to take it as far as to get too comfortable right? I mean because he can’t even tell the cheer squad that he likes someone but he can tell me he can’t help the attention he gets and that it just comes with being him and being good looking. He’s always like that, his whole…demeanor is insensitive. Xero is trash so hopefully I’ll get over him this weekend.” You took your tray and empty cup and stood up from the table. “I’m gonna get prepared for this long drive home now. Thanks for having breakfast with me. I’ll see you around?” She smiled meekly at you but nodded. “It’s not that long of a drive but Happy Holidays.” She said. “You’re right I’m exaggerating but you too!”

                      You got your bag of clothes, locked your dorm room and left for your hometown.

----- While you were away-----

                Your friend was returning a book in the library before it closed when she ran into Jiho on his way out. “Oh Xer- Jiho what are you doing in the library… you don’t read.” She laughed but then became serious when she noticed him not smirking like his normal self. “Are you okay?” He rubbed the back of his neck but nodded. “Just a headace. Did ________ leave yet?” She blinked at him surprised the first thing he asked about was you but just told him that you had left for home already.  “Was she still mad at me when she left?”

                Your friend thought for a moment…she should say anything or not. “Well…she’s not mad at you. She’s just tired of being confused. Even as friends she thinks she likes you more than you like her. I guess you intimidate her especially with your whole ‘Mr. perfect everyone loves me so deal with it’ act. She’s sensitive and delicate so being around you really hurts her. I’m not sure…she’s even sure what she would do if you were ever alone together. You don’t have a modest or sensitive bone in your body Jiho and for someone as caring as her it’s really hard caring about you when she thinks you don’t care about her. …Anyway make sure to take something for your head and have a nice Holiday weekend Xero.” Xero just nodded sadly, still trying process everything that had been said to him in the last few hours.

Before she left though your friend turned back to face Xero, who hadn’t moved another muscle. “Don’t worry though. When she comes back she’ll get back around to talking to you eventually. Unfortunately she can’t quite leave you alone. You must be special or something. She’s not normally like that with people.” He forced a grin at her then she exited the library yelling “GET YOUR TOGETHER JIHO” before the double doors could close completely.

-------Saturday Morning at Home--------

You were….actually happy. You were really relaxed. Your sister came down from up north and your parents actually kept all their negative comments to themselves and everyone managed to eat together for the Holiday and talk semi-normally for once. You were still prepared to duck and run if conversation started to turn south at any given moment but you were pleasantly surprised no such tactic had to be used that Thursday.

On Friday you went shopping with your mom and sister and when you came home you watched some trash reality television that they were into and you were there just to spend time with them.  And now it was Saturday, your sister was asleep on the bed across from the couch you were seated on against the opposite wall. You were in her old room and she was knocked-out cold while you watched some of your old childhood VHS tapes silently.  You had a cup of apple cinnamon tea nearby and you were bundled up in cute new Pj’s your mom just gave you and a blanket from the linen closet.

                After a few hours you had moved on and started watching whatever you could find on TV. The Bratz show was on basic television and you didn’t mind watching it for a little while and that’s when you heard footsteps cause the floor boards to creek and looked over at the doorway. Your eyes widened for a second then your face scrunched a bit after seeing him but honestly you were so satisfied with this weekend and so relaxed you didn’t care that he followed you here. He smirked at the TV then chuckled at you for second before sitting down beside you. “Oh you were serious. You’re really watching this?” He asked and you enthusiastically nodded with a smile on your face. “How did you get in my house Jiho?” You whispered from the corner of your mouth. “I caught your mom on her way out and she let me in. She does remember me by the way.” He whispered back. You nodded not too surprised your moms are something like friends. “Well alright, when did you get here?” You asked staring straight at the screen. “Last night” He said in a distinctly deeper tone but you still didn’t look at him even though you could feel his eyes on you.

                You leaned over far to your left until your weight was forcing him to lean to the left too. “Don’t stare at me I can watch whatever kiddie shows I want.” You said then leaned off of him. “I’m not judging you.” He replied plainly. This time it was you that looked at him while he stared at the screen. He didn’t say a word for the rest of the episode he didn’t even make fun of the show he just sat there with you. You started to look at him more at the beginning of the next episode until you couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed onto his right arm and whined. “Jiho what are you doing here? Why aren’t you on campus?” You kept hold of his arm and leaned your weight back on him, looking up at him with big eyes. “I wanted to make sure you were okay?” You just blinked at him a few times in response.  You’ve never actually been alone with him too many times in all the years you knew him.  You’ve never even been so comfortable as to touch him and now you were being playful with him as if it wasn’t just two days ago that you were completely done with his .

                You were just sincerely happy everything worked out this weekend and as a result having Xero over only made you happier even if you were slightly worried he would somehow ruin that. “I’m fine thanks” You told him with a smile even though your tone was sarcastic. Once again you got off of him but before sitting up fully you leaned over again and pressed your lips against his. You got impulsive when you were in a good mood. You’ve never kissed before and yet he didn’t react like it was completely out of character he looked shocked but more relieved than anything. You found that odd but accepted it.

                The Princess diaries 2 movie came on but you could barely focus because you had wrapped your arms around Xero’s waist and secured your hands together on his left side. You were clinging to him and he didn’t oppose it. He even reached his arm out and worked it around your back and to your right side so that he could slide you closer to him. He placed your head on his shoulder lifted your chin for a second to give you a kiss. He was really gentle and the kiss was faint but it still made you jittery with excitement. You stayed in that position for a while. You weren’t going to talk about what was happening between you right then…it felt natural but at the same time unreal and so sudden yet you liked it. After the movie went off he told you to scoot to the edge of the couch and when you did he moved his leg so that he sat behind you. (Basically you were sitting between his legs). He wrapped his arms around you and smiled as he cutely peppered kisses all over your cheek and neck. It tickled and that’s when you stood up quickly and tried to keep blush from appearing in your cheeks. “My sister is right there Xero. Geez I’d hate for her to wake up and the first thing she sees is…whatever is happening right now. I’m done watching TV so let’s go.”

                You started this but were becoming overwhelmed by how quickly and how well he played along. Xero slyly stood up and pulled you back to him with one arm and secured you there by your waist while he turned the TV off with his free arm. His body was really warm against yours but you weren’t sure how you felt about his sudden behavior…or yours for that matter. You walked awkwardly out of the room with him attached to your backside, trying to take steps at the same time as you but never letting go of his grip on you. He had to let go though so you could safely head downstairs only you stopped half way when you heard your dad come home. “Crap it’s my dad. He’s going to kill me for having a boy in the house, especially you. I’m 21 and this is still my life.” You turned around swiftly and motioned for him to hurry back up stairs. “What are we going to do?” You sure do know how to panic at the drop of a hat or in this case at the appearance of your dad.

                You pushed the door to your old bedroom open and tried to act natural and when your dad walked in. “Oh hey dad.” You forced a smile and pretended Xero wasn’t even there.  He looked between the both of you and then back to you and decided to ignore the boy in your room for a minute. “Can you get all this stuff and put it back in my room and set it up since you don’t live here anymore I thought I can take my flat screen and cable box back.” You thought quick on your feet before he could ask why Xero was there and why you looked so suspicious you made use of his presence. “Oh Jiho aren’t you good with that stuff? You can help me right?” He nodded, he knew a bit about plugging in cords and twisting bolts. It wasn’t brain surgery and since your dad now saw a reason for him being there and he was tired from work the night before he didn’t bother questioning Jiho’s presence and went into your sister’s room to watch TV right next door.

                When he left you both let go of the breaths you were holding. You laughed and nearly fully straddled Jiho on the edge of your bed while he held your hips and put his forehead against yours. He tilted his head up a bit to kiss you. You could very quickly get used to kissing him you were seriously in ecstasy. You became giggly and felt like you were playing a dangerous game of not getting caught doing anything with Xero and it was fun. You helped him move the TV and cable box to your dad’s room but then left to go see what your dad was doing while Jiho worked to set up everything.

“Hey dad how was work?” He looked over at you with tired eyes. He normally fell asleep in front of the TV after work anyway. “It was good. It was work.” You nodded “Oh that’s good. You know I’m going back to school tomorrow right dad?” He looked sad for a moment but then put on a faint grin. “I know you’re fine now. Just make sure you come back and visit us more often.” He was really drifting to sleep now. “I will dad.” You got up and leaned down to give him a hug. You watched TV with him for a while, just sports stuff but it didn’t matter as long as you got to spend time with him…even though he only had one eye open at this point.  “Dad I’m gonna go see how Jiho is doing with the set up. I’ll see if he’s almost done so you can get in your bed and rest.” He didn’t respond he was asleep.

                You peeked in your dad’s room and saw Jiho at the edge of the bed twisting some cord into the back of the TV. You slid in and sat next to him on the bed turning immediately to face him and kiss him but this time he opened his mouth to kiss you back and grabbed the back of your head so you couldn’t pull away. He was melting you from the inside out with the passion from that last kiss. “Missed you.” He said after letting you go and breaking the kiss. He kissed your forehead sweetly then went back to the cables in front of him. “I’m basically done now.” You were coming down now and starting to wonder…what was really happening between you two right now. It was too strange.

There you were backing away from him again like you always do. “O-okay I’ll go tell my dad.  He’s really tired so. I’ll go get him” You stood up from the bed quickly. “Okay!” Jiho said in a cute voice with an equally cute smile to match. “Oh and …I’m kind of tired too so I think I’m going to take a nap? I’ll see you tomorrow before I head back to school though I guess?” He tilted his head at you, completely confused by your change in mood and you were just as confused. Nevertheless he didn’t question you outright and left quickly after finishing up with the TV leaving you to think about your actions for the rest of the day.

Even when you were helping prepare dinner your mom noticed you a bit withdrawn. “Are you inviting Jiho to eat dinner with us?” You took the bowl of breadsticks to place it on the table. “Should I?”

You didn’t, you decided it would be too awkward right now after telling him off on Wednesday, making out with him all morning today and then kicking him out before sun down.  “I’ll see him in the morning I told him that I would.”