5 years ago. 

We smiled, Baekhyun. 

HAH! People must be surprised by now. Why? Yah, Byun Baekhyun, you forget again huh? Oh, well. Let me tell you again our unfinished love story. 

As If. 

5 years ago, 

"Youngmi-ah!" Baekhyun hollered. I turn my head, smiling at you. "Yes, Baekhyun?" I said. Baekhyun shook his head and pout, that's the most cutest thing that you ever do. Well, everything you do is cute for me. 

"Lets go to the beach. My skin is too fair," I laughed when you said that. 

Bestfriend. Yes, we are bestfriend. But people think we are lovers. The cutest lovers ever goes to us, Youngmi and Baekhyun. Our classmate call us Baek-Young couple. Always like that. 

Even your ex girlfriend call us that. Well, we are too happy to be a couple. And too sad to be truth. 

You always call me your girlfriend for jokes. I always call you boyfriend for, true. Darling? Honey? Baby? You always said that. ALWAYS. Not that I hate, I love it. Every time. 

People said 'A girl and a boy can't be friend!' well, indeed. We can't. Either one of us like one of us. Like me, likes you. 

But, I think I'm a great actress to hide it. You never noticed. Not even once. Truthfully, when we first met, of course, I never liked you. All the attention from students to teacher, all about you. 

And I'm sick of it. 

Until one day, you came to me, telling that you've done nothing for me to hate you. For a second, I thought yeah, you never do anything. So, we become friends. And elementary school is still full with immature people, we hang out with our friends, girls with girls, boys with boys. 

Middle school, we started become friends again. Well, more closer. You sit beside me, the teacher never changed. We always laugh together, hug when the school is finally over. 

And one day, you tell me that we are close like couples. 

"Hey, don't you think we are close? Like couples?" I laughed. "What? We may but certainly not a couple." You look at me before grinning. "Yeah. We don't." Then the topics shrug off just like that. 

When I was trying to sleep that day, I keep thinking, why the hell do you think like that? I can't even sleep that day. Even a blink. It just too confused. The next day, you asked me, "What's with the eyebags?" I said, "Watching cheesy romantic dramas." You just chuckled and continue write your essay for English. 

You asked me, when I grow up, what I wanted to be, I said I want to be a psychologist. And you laugh. I said why? You said that I couldn't be a psychologist because I never think positive and never heard people story. I was pissed. 

I don't know why, if you ask me. It just like you were underistimate me. I'm mad. But you chill me down with your sincere apology. I don't know what happen to me because I never accept apology that fast, but you did make me accepted it. 

On our finals middle school exam, you said you were scared that you'll get bad result. I said that, "Relax. Always think positive right? You  have done many things. If you study, then everything will be fine." You bit your lips and nodded, telling that I'm right. 

Then, the result came out. You got a few B's. I'm happy for you. As my result, let just say its not that bad. I'm not the smartest, though. But you sill be my friend. 

Highschool. I lost my girl friend. Telling me that I'm way to close to you. And they are jealous. I leave them, thinking they are stupid. Why would they be jealous when I'm just your— then I get it. 

Same like other girls, I want to be your special. Not your special but still friendzone, but I want to be your special, the one that wakes you up and sleep beside you everyday. 

But you never knew. And I never tell. I couldn't. You said that if we are more than friends, then who's suppose to be your friend? I said that you have your guy friend and you said that's not the same as me. I'm touched, but I'm hurt. 

Even stupid people know that you want me to be your bestfriend, forever. BFFE? Boys with boys, yes. Girls with girls, yes. Boys with girls? BFFE? No way, Baekhyun. No effin' way. 

But I nod my head, telling that I want you to be my bestfriend too, forever. Which I didn't want. As long its you, I'm fine to be hurt. I'm okay to cry. 

After the middle year test, one of our classmate said that he invite us to his party. We both agree and we both drunk. You do, I'm not. You know that I couldn't be drunk. Who's gonna send you back home? Well if I'm drunk, you can't. 

But I know you're stress, so I let it. You were so drunk that day. Babbling things, I just hear it. Then you look at me and cupped my cheeks, kissing me. I was so shocked. Yes, I am. But then, I think I can't just take this one in the life time chances. 

But the devil inside me say, do it. So I kiss back, passionately. Until both of us having a hard time to catch our breath. After that kiss, you smile at me and fainted. I chuckled and bring you home. You ask me to stay, but I can't. So I rush to my house, crying hard. 

On Monday, you ask me why are you so dizzy on Saturday. I said that you're drunk and I brought you home. You look at me, hesitant with my answer, but you shrug it off and ask me for the notes. 

Then, a new girl came. She was pretty. She is. Your eyes shine brightly and I can see you are happy. And I'm not the reason why. She sit infront of you. She's nice. I couldn't hold grudges on her. 

After a couple of weeks after finals, you said you want to confess to her. I glumly said, "Go ahead. She's your reason for your happiness." You ask me what's wrong and I should be happy for you, I said I am and I'm just tired. You buy my lies and after school you said that she said yes. 

You are so happy that you didn't know how hurt I am. How I can hear my shattering heart. 

You never walk with me again, never laugh with me, never smile with me. I know that your girlfriend say that we both are so close that she's jealous. I scoffed when you say that we shouldn't be so close. So you left me, for her. 

She's nice. She's pretty. And the most important thing, she owns you. You are hers. And me? I'm a nobody. I can't say to break up with her because I'm jealous, because I'm hurt. That's just too stupid and immature. 

And I don't want you to know my immature side eventhough you know 'almost' know everything about me. Hear me, almost. What is that one thing? That I love you from my bottom heart. 

When we both get the letter from our choosen university, you always said "I'm gonna miss my precious girlfriend. How can you abandon me for Stanford?" But now, you never ask. You forget. 

We are more than thousand miles apart. I heard that you and your girl is already broke up, because of me. I laugh again. Why me? You barely show any of your attention towards me even when we sit together. 

And there, your nice girlfriend who is now changing to a desperate said that I'm the one who break both of you apart. I just want to die and reborn so I know I shouldn't be in your life story. And I shouldn't include you in my love story. 

You just my past, and my broken memories that I wish I can forget all of it. But I can't. I spend half of my life with you. And I hated it. 

All because of your stupid decision. All because I become friends with you in the first place. But well, this is life. Life is a and we just follow everything that it plan for us. 

You remember now, Baekhyun? You smiled sadly and said, "I do." 

I smile, getting up from my chair, straighten some wrinkles on my coat. "I will see you again in Saturday. Don't forget to eat your pills everyday if you want to stay healthy." 

I left the room, with a heavy heart and a heavy memories. Didn't know that you are one of my patient that I have to give my time and life just for you. And your decision.