"Well, guess who has to postpone everything again?" Chanyeol whined as he walked into his econ class. No one really paid him much attention, Jongdae even rolling his eyes the second he saw his best friend walk in with the first part of his sentence already caught at the tip of his lips. Chanyeol had been whining for the past two weeks non-stop and everyone was getting pretty sick of the sound of his voice. Chanyeol obviously took notice this time when Junmyun groaned when he took the seat behind him. "Thirteen! Thirteen days I've had to postpone the biggest day of my life and none of you s, the jerks that are suppose to be my best friends, seem to give a damn. Thanks, really. I guess I'll just ask Jongin to be my best man." 

 

"Oh, my god, Chanyeol!" Luhan finally snapped. "Can you please get over yourself for two seconds? We care, believe me, we care. The thing is you've turned into such a whinny lately that none of us actually want to be your best man anymore. If this is what you're like before you're engaged we don't want to even imagine how much of a groomzilla you're going to be when you actually have to plan your stupid wedding." 

 

Chanyeol only manages to glare at Luhan in response while his lower lip unconsciously puffed out in that sort of dumb pout that makes him look like the toddler that he is. Deep down he knows Luhan is right, that he's been annoying to the nth degree lately, but he's also super anxious and a little support would have been nice from the three guys he considers his best friends. 

 

After two and a half years of dating, Chanyeol had finally gathered the courage to propose to his cute, button-nosed, boyfriend, Byun Baekhyun. It was such a wonderful moment when he woke up that one morning two months ago and realized he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with the mouse-boy that had been lying next to him. He spent weeks on how he wanted to do it, the proposal. He thought of skywriters and fireworks but knew that while all of that was flashy and declarative it was also very impersonal. He wanted something intimate and personal and the most personal moment he and Baekhyun had ever shared was their first kiss. The problem he had now was that their first kiss had been outdoors in a park and it had been raining since the day he had originally set to propose. He has been growing grumpy and impatient but he refuses to change his plans and each day gets angrier because when he looks out the window first thing in the morning, he sees the gray clouds blocking any ray of sunlight. 

 

Next to Chanyeol, Jongdae huffs, obviously done with this conversation again, but Chanyeol is grateful that he says nothing. The class begins and the four boys drop the topic with Chanyeol making a point to ignore his friends for the remainder of class. 

 

 

-

 

 

"So, what do you guys want to get for lunch? I was thinking we just get a quick bite in the cafeteria and then head to the library. I have a paper to finish and I want to get it out of the way before the weekend," Chanyeol casually tells his three best friends as they begin to gather their things and head out of the classroom. Unphased by their man-child of a friend's sudden change in attitude towards them, the other three agree and they spend the rest of the early afternoon in the library copying each other's homework and talking about sports or some nonsense, Chanyeol wasn't really paying attention. He has bigger things on his mind at the moment. 

 

If the world and its vendetta against him wasn't going to let him do things his way then he'll have to think of another plan. "Just do it indoors" Jongdae had snapped at him on day eight. Maybe watching an old 90s American rom-com while drinking a warm cup of tea with the ring at the bottom would do the trick. "If we're 90-years-old and doing this exact same thing, it'll be good enough for me" is what he'll say. It's not as romantic but it's intimate and that's what he was going for. 

 

Hey Baek, movie night at your place tonight? I'll bring the pizza and cookie dough 

 

The confirmation comes half an hour later, as Chanyeol expected given that Baekhyun had class and was never the one to text while the professor was talking. 

 

He smiles to himself and pockets his cell phone, reimmersing himself in his friends' conversation on if some actress' face is really natural or whatever. 

 

 

-

 

 

Chanyeol gets out of his last class at half past six. He stopped carrying around the ring at the end of day 10 and has to head back to his flat really quick to get it before he heads over to Baekhyun's. 

 

Running across the parking lot to his car is enough to drench him from head to toe. By the time his car warms up and his heater kicks in his soaked-through clothes had already managed to seep into his pours and he feels miserable. He brushes his wet bangs out of his eyes and heads off campus in direction of his flat. 

 

Daylight savings had just happened so it's pitch black outside and very little is seen outside the range of the street lamps. The winds had picked up and Chanyeol vaguely hears it whistle through the air and pities anyone who has to be outside in this weather. He's never really liked the rain. Being the resident Happy Virus of his group of friends, Chanyeol has always been more attracted to sunny weather because there was always more fun things to do in it. There's nothing fun to do in the rain, Chanyeol has learned. His heavy soaked clothes testify to that. 

 

Chanyeol turns up the volume of his radio at a stop sign and faintly begins drumming his fingers on his steering wheel, humming along to the mellow tune echoing through his car. He takes a moment to look around to see if any cars could come in barreling towards him before he hits the gas pedal again when something at the corner of the street catches his eye. 

 

Standing in front of the beat up bus stop stands a man with a lump attached to his chest. It takes a moment to realize the lump isn't a backpack but a baby. The man, who looked to be about Chanyeol's height, which was a rare sight to begin with, had his arms wrapped around the carried he had attached to his chest, trying to shield the baby as best he could from the harsh wind but there was little he could do from where he was to cover the rain beating down on them. What was this foolish man doing out in this weather doing out in this weather with a tiny human? The baby could get sick. 

 

Chanyeol realizes he had been sitting at the stop sign too long when the car behind him honked twice at him telling him to hurry. The noise caught the attention of the young man with his baby and Chanyeol never realized his heart would ache so much for someone he didn't even know. 

 

The expression the man had drawn on his face screamed nothing less of anguish. He looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept in days, and he looked so weak. He was barely able to stand on his feet and the glassy cover his eyes had made it look like he was functioning on the last bit of battery the auto pilot in his brain had left. Every tiny movement he made was mechanical and stiff. Chanyeol had never seen anything more pitiful. 

 

Yet, Chanyeol just drove away, forcing himself not to look at the man as he passed him and his baby. 

 

Guilt immediately floods Chanyeol's veins and pumps all through his body. He had never seen anyone more done with life than that man. He even looked like he was too worn out to cry, not that he has the luxury to cry Chanyeol thinks bitterly. Someone with no hope, as Chanyeol assumes the man is, isn't even sad anymore. They're just done. Chanyeol slams the breaks, which too late realizes wasn't the best idea with the roads so slippery. 

 

Without really realizing what he was doing he quickly turns around and speeds back to the intersection where the man and his baby had been standing, praying that the bus hadn't gotten there before him. Someone like that man needed help and Chanyeol knew that if he wasn't the one to offer it, no one would. Someone in that state, with a child no less, desperately needed someone, anyone. 

 

Chanyeol outwardly gasps in relief when he sees the tall figure slumped against the bus sign still waiting and parks his car in front of the stop. He takes a deep breath because what he was about to do wasn't something that he does regularly and he needed a second to compose himself. Stepping out of his car, Chanyeol goes around to stand a few feet away from the man. 

 

He has his eyes closed but his arms still tightly grasping the bundle against his chest, as if trying to use his body heat to protect his child. Up close, Chanyeol sees the deep lines marring his otherwise perfect face. High cheekbones and a chiseled jaw evidence saying that in any other circumstance, this man would be very attractive. 

 

Chanyeol kind of stands there for a moment, unsure of what to even say to him. Still unsure himself what it is he is suppose to do to help. "Do you need a ride?" Chanyeol finally settles on, figuring that not compromising himself too much would be the best initial approach. The man makes no motion to indicate he heard Chanyeol and Chanyeol rolls onto the sides of his feet, a bad habit he's carried since childhood when he's nervous. "Um." Chanyeol tries again but decides against it. He knows the man isn't dead since he's still standing but he's not sure if he's asleep or if he's flat out ignoring him. "Excuse me." 

 

Chanyeol jumps back a little, stumbling to get his feet flat on the ground again, when the man opens his eyes, this time gaze piercing straight into Chanyeol's core. Chanyeol's not sure if he's angry or simply put his guard up because he noticed his arms wrap more protectively around his baby, drawing the lump in closer to his chest. The man doesn't take his eyes off of Chanyeol and Chanyeol oddly feels very exposed. Just minutes ago Chanyeol had seen those same eyes as empty as the top half of an hour glass that had just run out of time, now burning with a rage that Chanyeol can't help take a few more steps back, giving the man the space he was obviously demanding. He's reminded of a fierce mama bear protecting her cubs and Chanyeol instantly begins empathizing with the man rather than pity him. 

 

"Uh," Chanyeol tries again, pushing past the break in his hoarse voice, now rather intimidated by the man's burst of sudden emotion. "I was just wondering if you need a ride. My name is Park Chanyeol, I'm a student at the university down the street," Chanyeol says, feeling the need to identify himself to the man to let him know he's not a threat. Still, the man's glare is unrelenting. Chanyeol has to fight a slight shudder that he doesn't think has anything to do with the cold now penetrating into his bones. If he feels this awful after standing in the rain for only a few minutes, how must the man and his baby feel? Who knows how long they've been out in the rain. 

 

"No, thank you," the man says. There's a finality in his tone that Chanyeol doesn't like. The slight accent in the man's voice makes Chanyeol think he's a foreigner with no one in this country and makes him want to help him even more. Even still, the man doesn't take his eyes off Chanyeol. 

 

"Please, my car is warm and if not for yourself then for your baby." Chanyeol says, directing his gaze at the bundle in the man's arms. Chanyeol notices the man's jaw slacken and knows he hit a nerve. "I can take you anywhere," Chanyeol adds as gently as the roar of the winds allows his voice to convey. 

 

The man finally takes his eyes off Chanyeol and turns his head slightly, focusing his sight at the curb where the sewer has begun to overflow into the street. Chanyeol can tell that he's having trouble accepting help from a stranger but he also has his baby to think of and if someone is offering help, Chanyeol hopes, he can't refuse. 

 

The man, finally turning to look at Chanyeol again, this time his expression much softer, finally says, "you can't help, I have nowhere to go and no one is waiting for me." Chanyeol's heart sinks a little lower into his abdomen. No wonder the man before him is so defeated. 

 

He's not sure why he says it but it's probably the same reason he blindly slammed the breaks on his car and turned around without thinking, but before he can stop himself he blurts out "you can stay with me tonight," which he thinks is the worst thing to say since the man's defenses go right back up. This time, Chanyeol forces himself to stand his ground. "Just one night," Chanyeol assures him. "For your baby." 

 

Chanyeol is half certain the man is going to decline again and is about to go off on him again but Chanyeol catches himself when he notices the tiny nod the man gives him. The sigh of relief that escapes Chanyeol doesn't go unnoticed by the man but he still looks angry that he has to accept help from a stranger that he doesn't seem to think into it. 

 

The man reaches down for the bag that Chanyeol hadn't noticed was sitting next to him. Chanyeol makes a move to take it from him but the man jerks back. Trust is something that Chanyeol sees he'll have to earn from this man. "Let me help you," Chanyeol says. "Just get into the car, I'll put this in the trunk," he adds when he notices that bag he had just taken from the man is a diaper bag. Heart clenching a little tighter, Chanyeol opens his trunk before climbing back into his car. 

 

Attempting to rub feeling back into his hands Chanyeol runs them together in hope that heat seeps into his palms. He's in the midst of blowing warm air through his hands when he hears  a faint "thank you" that he has to strain his ears to catch. Still, Chanyeol smiles as widely as his half frozen face allows, "you're welcome."

 

 

-

 

 

The drive to Chanyeol's flat is quick but it feels like an eternity. The man, whom Chanyeol still doesn't know the name of, doesn't say anything more and Chanyeol has no idea of what to say. He can't just start a casual conversation without being awkward and he certainly can't ask him what he was doing out in the rain with a baby, who looks only to be a few months old, because he's pretty sure that would qualify as rude beyond all reason. So he opts for silence. 

 

Opening the door to his flat Chanyeol instantly rushes in and begins shoving all his dirty clothes in crevices out of sight, embarrassed at the state of his flat. His friends and Baekhyun have seen what a pig he is when it comes to the upkeep of where he lives but he's beyond caring of what they think. Somehow, the opinion of the man still standing in his doorway, matters to him more than he knows it should. As he's gathering dirty plates and take out boxes Chanyeol can't help at how exposed he feels when he realizes the man looking around his tiny flat. 

 

It's a typical college apartment. One bedroom with cheap furniture and books scattered everywhere but Chanyeol feels oddly embarrassed. He's not sure why but the first impression of this man on him matters to him and that bothers him a bit. 

 

"You don't have to do that," the man says, his dark hair ruffling a little now that it's damp instead of drenched. Now that it's not obscured by the sound of the rain beating on the sidewalk, Chanyeol realizes the man has a nice voice. It's deep and full but not like his so it's not overpowering. He commands the room but doesn't dominate it. While it's his home, Chanyeol sort of feels like the outsider for some reason. He simply laughs a little. 

 

"It's just it's been a while since I've had guests who aren't my friends or boyfriend," he says, rubbing the back of his neck but freezes when he realizes he mentioned Baekhyun. He stares at the man intently, waiting for his reaction to that piece of information about himself but the man makes no motion of acknowledgement to the fact. He simply takes a few steps inside and begins taking his baby out of his carrier. 

 

Chanyeol instantly moves into action, realizing the man and his baby are still soaked through and through. He rushes into his bathroom and brings back a stack of towels and offers them to the man. He instantly goes to work, taking off the wet blankets that cocooned his baby and revealing the tiny human that lay there, fast asleep, not even aware of the situation he and his father are in. Chanyeol notices that while the baby's outer blankets are soaked, the baby himself is dry and looks warm and comfortable which relaxes Chanyeol a bit. Chanyeol was worried the baby would have caught something and gotten sick. 

 

After the man had taken care of his child he began drying himself off. He was still slumped over a bit and now that the danger that he had thought Chanyeol was had passed his exhaustion had begun to set again. Chanyeol snapped back into reality when he realized the man doesn't have anything to change into and scampers into his bedroom, returning with a bundle of clothes that he's sure are too small for the man but he has no other options. Baekhyun's clothes surely won't fit. The man takes them with a tiny nod. 

 

He picks up his baby again, careful not to press him up to his wet clothes and after asking Chanyeol where the bathroom is, begins walking towards it. "I can watch him for you, if you like," Chanyeol offers. The deep circles under the man's eyes seem darker in the light and the man looks like he has another moment of conflicting thoughts but nods and puts his baby down on the couch again.

 

He only takes a moment to change and Chanyeol offers to put his clothes and the baby's blankets in the dryer for him before he goes back into his room to change. When he comes back, the man is settled on the edge of his futon looking down at his sleeping baby boy. A warmth that Chanyeol has never felt before begins making it's way through Chanyeol's chest and he suppresses the small smile that fights it's way onto his face. Without asking, Chanyeol heads into his kitchen and puts a giant pot of water to boil. 

 

Digging through his cupboards, Chanyeol finds himself two tea packets and two bowls of instant noodles. It's not much but it'll have to do, he reasons. 

 

Walking back into the living room Chanyeol asks the man if his baby has eaten. The man politely nods and based on how protective he is of his child decides to trust him about his baby. Chanyeol doesn't bother asking if the man himself has eaten because he's sure he knows both the answer he'll give him and his real answer so he goes back into the kitchen where the pot of water was bubbling already. 

 

Surprisingly, the man doesn't even bother refusing the food and drink Chanyeol offers and Chanyeol's heart clenches again because he can't help wonder how long it's been since he's had a real meal. Not that a cup of tea and noodles is a real meal. 

 

Chanyeol is still too cautious to ask the man's name and wonders if he'll tell him before he leaves the next day but thinks better of it after he had decided to ask. They eat in silence. 

 

After grabbing his warmest comforters and blankets from his closet and setting up his futon to accommodate his guest (since Chanyeol is sure that the man would decline his own bed if he offered it) he slips into his room and thinks quickly texts Baekhyun an apology note letting him know that something came up. 

 

It takes a while to drift to sleep because he can't get the image of the man's eyes out of his head. There had been so much force to them that Chanyeol still felt flabbergasted and found it hard to get his head to stop spinning. 

 

Still, seeing how someone with nothing cling onto life like that was something Chanyeol knew he wasn't soon going to forget. 

 

 

-

 

 

[THREE MONTHS LATER] 

 

 

-

 

 

"Absolutely not!" Baekhyun screeches to someone on the phone. Something about the color scheme for the flowers and how orange and yellow were for halloween. Chanyeol had learned to block most of the wedding planning talk out. 

 

The rain had cleared up the day after he had met the man, all those months ago, but much to his friend's dismay, Chanyeol had postponed proposing for another month and a half after that day. Somehow, all the magic behind getting engaged died the night he met the stranger in the rain. 

 

He had woken up, fully intent on finally asking the man's name when he marched out of his room when he came to the cleanest his living room has ever been since he moved in. The blankets neatly folded with the stack of his clothes sitting on top. There was a note from the pad Chanyeol kept on his side table that simply read 'thank you,' and it was all Chanyeol could do to hold in how deeply disappointed he was. The chances of him ever seeing that man and his baby again were slim to none. 

 

And here Chanyeol is, engaged and pretending to be happier than ever, which is fooling no one but Baekhyun who is so immersed in the wedding planning to notice the tip of his own nose. Once he had finally decided he had put off getting engaged enough (though he no longer remembered why he had decided to propose in the first place) he went with his original plan of the park setting. Chanyeol had thought of what he had been going to say and delivered the lines perfectly but they came out mechanical and dry. He might as well sent Baekhyun a text message saying the same thing. 

 

Chanyeol still hasn't been able to get those eyes out of his head. No matter what, even when he's with Baekhyun, they're always the last thing that passes through his mind before he drifts off to sleep. It's been driving him crazy but he's told no one about this. As much as he loves his best friends, they're all big mouthed morons who'll go straight to Baekhyun with the piece of information so like hell if Chanyeol confides in them. 

 

Still he thinks it's weird that he's thinking of this random stranger who barely said ten words to him and left without saying goodbye. Chanyeol keeps on imagining he sees the man, even now, sitting in a restaurant with his fiancé who's going on about a possible ice sculpture of the two, Chanyeol thinks the waiter who is serving two tables away from him looks like the man he had taken in. 

 

Their entrees come and Baekhyun reluctantly hangs up the phone with, whom Chanyeol assumes, is the wedding planner Baekhyun's mother hired, and digs into his food. While Chanyeol feigns interest in the updates his tiny fiancée gives him about their upcoming wedding, Chanyeol catches sight of the waiter he noticed earlier that reminded him of the mysterious man. He nods at whatever Baekhyun had just squeaked about but his attention is on the tall man setting a basket of bread onto a table on the other side of the restaurant. Chanyeol hears the clank of his utensils as they hit his plate. 

 

He's not as skinny anymore and without the dark circles under his eyes he looks much younger, much more handsome. Standing up straight, Chanyeol can see just how tall the man really is. He looks taller than Chanyeol which makes Chanyeol's stomach clench. Having to bend down so low to kiss Baekhyun had always been a bother to him. 

 

Chanyeol stands up, ignoring his fiancées stunned face and, without really knowing what to say, begins making his way to the waiters' station where the man had just wandered into.

 

Stopping a few feet away, Chanyeol hears the man's voice, only it's much different than he remembered. He was laughing for one, something his coworker had said, and the light airiness to his tone was something he had only dreamed about. 

 

The man that stood unsure of himself in Chanyeol's doorway all those months ago was standing a mere ten feet away and Chanyeol had not the slightest idea of how to go about the situation. Surely the man would remember him, wouldn't he? 

 

His question is quickly answered when the man turns out and catches sight of Chanyeol. The shock on his face is probably the same one Chanyeol is wearing and in an attempt to make things easier, Chanyeol does what he's known best to do. He smiles. 

 

It felt weird to smile like he was doing. It had been months since he's had anything to smile genuinely about. Everything in his life had been forced and now, using muscles he hasn't used in weeks feels odd and Chanyeol feels a little like an idiot. He's not sure whether to drop the smile as the man with deep chocolate eyes walks up to him, eyes softer than he's seen. Chanyeol feels satisfied that he's looking at him that way, like he trusts him. 

 

"Hi," the man says, tone much more relaxed than the tense sound that came from his mouth back when they first met. "I never thought I'd see you again." Chanyeol opens his mouth but before he can even think of something to say he feels a small palm slip into his and pull him back.

 

Baekhyun, never one to be ignored, had gotten up to see what it was that taken Chanyeol's attention away from him and instantly Chanyeol wished that ground would split and swallow him. The feeling only lasted a second because, while Chanyeol is sure he only imagined it, he could have sworn that he saw his face drop a bit when Baekhyun had shown up and taken his hand. He quickly recovered though and Chanyeol fell through the cloud he had landed on for the moment. "Babe, who's this?" Baekhyun inquired. 

 

"Um," Chanyeol tried to think of something that didn't reveal the truth to his fiancée but also didn't demean whatever it was that happened between him and the man before him. 

 

"I'm no one," the man quickly interjects. "Chanyeol here just helped me out this one time and he was just coming to say hello again." Chanyeol's knees buckled a little at the sound of his name roll off the man's tongue. He was flattered that the man had remembered his name and grateful that he didn't really reveal the full extent of their relationship. Baekhyun seemed satisfied as he just hummed and walked back to their table. The man offered a weak smile as to say "don't mention it," noticing how Chanyeol was relieved at how he had answered. "Listen, I should get back to work, but if you want....I'd like to buy you coffee or something. You know, as a small thank you for that night." 

 

"Yeah! Of course!" Chanyeol said, embarrassed at how unable he was to hide his enthusiasm for the whole thing. He and the man quickly came up with a date and place to meet before the man had turned around to get back to work. "Wait!" Chanyeol called out before he could get too far. He wasn't going to let another opportunity pass. "What's your name?" 

 

It was only a quick half a second before the man answered but the drum roll that was palpitating in his chest made it seem like an hour. 

 

"My name is Kris." 

 

 

-

 

 

It was three days before he had set to meet Kris and Chanyeol literally counted the hours until then. 

 

Being able to refer to the man by a name now made Chanyeol's heart soar, something it hadn't done since well before he had gotten engaged. He felt guilty for feeling this way for a man who wasn't his fiancée but he couldn't help it. He had finally cracked and decided to tell Jongdae about Kris and his son and to his surprise, 34 hours later, Baekhyun still doesn't know. Then again, he wasn't dumb enough to tell Jongdae that Kris is the reason he stays awake late into the night, imagining how his plump lips would feel on his own. 

 

Chanyeol is aware his crush on the stranger with a son would end up nowhere so he pretended it wouldn't affect him in the long run but Chanyeol knew himself too well to know he was fooling himself and that he was setting himself up for heartbreak, He hadn't completely ignored the fact that the man that keeps him awake at night most likely not into boys and might still be with the mother of his baby. Still, fantasizing never hurt anyone. Well, not until the bitter reality slaps the dreamer in the face but that moment has yet to hit Chanyeol. 

 

The day he was to meet Kris at the small coffee house not far from his university he had tried on half of his closet, completely unhappy with how every article of his clothing hung on him. He looked too skinny or too lanky. In the end he settled for a hooded gray cardigan and blue jeans. 

 

Purposely getting to the coffee house early, Chanyeol manages to get a booth in the corner by a window. It's the perfect spot. Chanyeol has nothing to do but wait. 

 

Chanyeol doesn't have to wait long since before long he sees a tall figure come through the door. He can't help but smile at the sight of Kris holding his son, now considerably bigger, in his arms. Seeing them both look so healthy makes Chanyeol sigh in content for some reason. Kris quickly catches sight of Chanyeol who can't think of anything to do but to wave dumbly at him. 

 

"Hey," Chanyeol says as Kris sits down and places his baby on his lap. "Uh, I already ordered something for myself but I had no idea what you would want so I guess you can just, um..." 

 

Kris smiles, letting Chanyeol know that he understands what he's trying to say and can stop babbling. The small waitress comes over with Chanyeol's coffee and Kris orders a black drip coffee with vanilla syrup in it. After he watches the waitress go behind the counter again, he looks over and catches sight of Kris' baby who had gotten a hold of the spoon on the table.

 

"This is Junhong, by the way," Kris says, motioning to the baby on his lap. "He's nine months tomorrow. I can't believe how big he's gotten." 

 

Chanyeol can't help the smile that crosses his face when Junhong places the end of the spoon into his mouth and Kris quickly takes the spoon away from the infant, clearly concerned about the cleanliness of the things his child puts in his mouth. 

 

Chanyeol is caught up in watching Junhong bang his tiny first on the table and laugh at who knows what that he almost misses what comes out of Kris' mouth next. 

 

"Thank you, again. for that night." Chanyeol looks up and he's surprised to see the same fire that had been present in Kris' eyes when he first approached him. Only, this time it wasn't because Chanyeol was a threat but rather Kris was expressing how grateful he really was. Chanyeol was almost at a loss for words but thankfully Kris spoke again which gave him time to think of what to say next. "Junhong's mother, she left him with me and walked out and the point you found me in was my absolute lowest. I didn't have much money or a roof to provide my child and I was so angry at myself, hence the initial hostility towards you, but I still can't believe a stranger took us in. You were like my guardian angel that night." 

 

Chanyeol felt like he should say something but nothing came to mind. 

 

"Anyway," Kris continued. "I will never be able to string up the words to tell you how much that gesture meant to me and I've thought about going back to your house but I had no idea what to even say or what I'd even be doing there so I never went back. I, um-" 

 

"How are you guys doing now?" Chanyeol quickly asks because he feels that if Kris keeps talking he'll start crying. 

 

"We're good. I managed to get a job at the restaurant and we have a small studio apartment to stay in. It's not much but at least Junhong's warm and never hungry so for now I'm happy with it. I mean we...." 

 

They spend the afternoon talking and getting to know each other. Chanyeol bears his heart out to Kris and he doesn't do much to hide his obvious interest in Kris but Chanyeol can't help but feel that Kris is holding back. What it is he can't tell but it bothers Chanyeol that Kris isn't as open with him. 

 

Still at the end of the day, they exchange numbers and agree to meet up again. Chanyeol begins counting down the hours again. 

 

 

-

 

 

It's not slow, the progress of their relationship. Soon after finding each other again Kris and Chanyeol begin spending an abnormal amount of time, for being an engaged man and a single father, that is. 

 

It started out simple enough. Movie dates and having coffee, Junhong always with them, which Chanyeol never minded. But things soon escalated to spending nights at each others' places. The other always taking the couch. 

 

Still, as open as Chanyeol is with him, Chanyeol never feels like Kris gives himself to him. He knows he's an engaged man still (even though he had handed the reins of the wedding planning to Baekhyun and they hardly saw each other) and Kris was still (Chanyeol assumed) straight. Though the way Chanyeol caught Kris staring at him form time to time made him hope otherwise. 

 

"You've never told me about Junhong's mother," Chanyeol slightly pushes. He had been trying to bring up that topic for weeks now and could no longer contain his curiosity at bay. It was Junhong's first birthday and Kris was on a high from hearing his baby boy call him Daddy for the first time. Chanyeol almost felt terrible at the sight of his smile weaken at the mention of Junhong's mother. 

 

"I don't talk about her," Kris says and he sounds like he's done with the topic but Chanyeol decides to push his luck. 

 

"It's not healthy to keep stuff like that locked inside you. If you don't-" 

 

"Then how come you never mention Baekhyun. Or your upcoming wedding which is taking place in three weeks. You mean to tell me that that's normal? You should be over the moon right now planning your wedding. Instead you're here with me pretending like the world doesn't exist." 

 

Chanyeol felt the anger that had been bubbling just below the surface of his skin begin to prickle out. He wasn't angry Kris, he'd done nothing. He knew he was angry at himself, but Kris hitting the hammer on the nail made the ugly little monster inside him stir. He was avoiding his upcoming wedding and fiancée by spending most days with Kris but he didn't like being called out on it. 

 

"Don't change the subject," Chanyeol manages to bite out through gritted teeth. He vaguely realizes that Kris is angry with him but he pushes trying to figure out the reason why to the back of his mind. 

 

"If you don't want to talk about Baekhyun, fine, but don't expect me to talk about Junhong's mother. And while we're on the subject, who do you think you're fooling? Because you're not fooling me and and by the looks of it, you're not fooling yourself." 

 

Chanyeol can't hide the shock at how quickly the atmosphere had changed. "What-" he tries but he knows there's no point playing dumb when he knows exactly what Kris is talking about. Chanyeol waits for Kris to take Junhong to their room to put down for a nap before they continue their argument. 

 

By the time Kris comes back things are so thick that Chanyeol is sure you could cut it with a knife. Chanyeol thinks about just walking out of the apartment but he knows if he were to leave he'd never be welcomed back. 

 

This fake life he had created with Kris was something Kris had humored but by the looks of it, Kris was just about done. He regretted bringing up Junhong's mother. If he had known that topic would trigger Kris to finally bring down the facade he had managed to convince himself was real he would have kept quiet. The rage behind Kris' eyes was back but this time Chanyeol registered he was once again a threat. 

 

"You honestly think I don't know what you're doing here, Chanyeol?" Kris finally speaks, having settled at the edge of his armchair with his elbows on his knees and hands over his nape. "You're having cold feet and you think that hiding out here with me and my son, fitting yourself in our life, you can hide from yours." 

 

"That is not-" Chanyeol quickly snips because while it's half true he also knows that his feelings for Kris and Junhong have grown into something more than the initial infatuation he had had with Kris. 

 

"Yes it is!" Kris nearly yells but remembers Junhong is in the room next to them and quickly lowers it his voice again. "I understand wanting to be apart of someone else's life when yours is scary but I think it's time I put an end to this. It's what's best for my son and I. And for you." Chanyeol knows Kris has a reason but he also doesn't think he's being entirely fair. 

 

Seeing Kris being so gentle with his son and always put him first made Chanyeol realize how much he wanted someone like Kris in his life. He doesn't need anyone to take care of him because he can do that on his own, but he needs someone who would be willing to during the moments he will need it. Moments like the one he's living right now. Baekhyun is amazing but he always puts himself first and Chanyeol knows he's selfish but he wants someone who can put him first from time to time too. 

 

It makes Chanyeol angry to think that Kris doesn't realize that he and his baby boy really have become important to him and in a desperate attempt to make him understand he does something so stupid. Yet, looking back on it, he can't bring himself to regret it. 

 

Before Kris realizes what Chanyeol is about to do, Chanyeol crosses the room and grabs his chin in his hand, pushing up his face to look at him. In Kris' confusion, Chanyeol takes the moment to capture Kris' lips, putting every last feeling he has towards the man sitting before him into the movement of his lips. 

 

In the shock of things Kris doesn't realize what is happening and merely feels the situation and for one blissful moment Chanyeol feels Kris' jaw slacken and him push up a little to press his lips harder onto Chanyeol. But it's only that. A moment. 

 

Chanyeol thinks he remembers Kris pushing him away and telling him to never come looking for him or his son again but the high of the moment before all that blurred his memory and the instant the door slammed in his face, he knew what he had to do. 

 

 

-

 

 

Standing in front of the door that had just been slammed in his face only an two hours before felt strange. Especially given the new situation he had found himself in. 

 

Like always, he knocked three time, waited a moment then knocked twice more. 

 

He knew Kris wouldn't open the door, not with what had just happened between them. Still Chanyeol stood there, waiting for him to open the door. He'd wait all night if he had too since he didn't want to say everything he came to say from behind a closed door. 

 

Chanyeol tries to hide the satisfied smirk he's wearing when Kris finally cracks and lets him in. He also doesn't want to leave things the way they had and Chanyeol's heart summersaults because it gives him the bit of hope he needed. 

 

"I thought I had made myself clear," Kris says, voice firm but Chanyeol can tell there's reluctance in his tone. 

 

"You did," Chanyeol simply says and takes a seat on the same armchair that Kris had been in the last time he saw him. It's a few moments before either of them make a sound. 

 

"Why did you come back?"

 

"I'm sorry." 

 

Both men begin to speak at the same time. Chanyeol jumps to his feet as an indication to Kris that it's his turn to talk. 

 

"You're right. I was hiding here because I was avoiding my life but you're wrong about how I feel about you....and Junhong," Chanyeol begins. "You caught my attention that night and seeing you so alive even while having nothing...I don't know, it sort of woke something up in me. Seeing you work so hard for you and your baby boy made me realize how much my life was lacking. Baekhyun was a great first love but he's not my soulmate. He would never put the ones he cares about first and I know how selfish I sound by saying this but, that's something that I want." 

 

"You're 23, Chanyeol. You don't know what you want. You're engaged to another man right now and you say you want me. Do you realize how unstable that sounds? I have a kid, a kid I love more than anything and I don't have time for you to figure out what you want while you play with me anymore. I should have stopped this when I realized what you were doing but I-" but Kris cuts himself off. Chanyeol thinks he knows what he's about to say and it's that final push to make him say what he came to say. He misses his chance when Kris starts talking again. 

 

"You wanted to know about Junhong's mother," Kris states. Chanyeol feels like he should stop him but somehow he can't. "She was a mistake.

 

"I had just broken up with my boyfriend, yes Chanyeol, I'm gay but that doesn't change anything between you and me. Well, she was there and I knew she had always had a crush on me and I know I took advantage of that but it was one night. When she told me she was expecting Junhong I panicked. I was 25, I was too young to have a baby. She wanted to get married and settle down but I didn't want that, at least not with her. In the end she said that if I didn't want her she didn't want the baby. She stayed long enough to name him and I haven't heard from her in a year. I don't think about her because she wasn't important.

 

"Junhong is the best thing that's happened to me and I will never give him up and you have to understand that I have to do what's best for him and you're not it. You're complicated and-" 

 

"I broke up with Baekhyun. Just now, that's where I'm coming back from," based on the look on Kris' face, he was not expecting that bit of news. Chanyeol continued. "He said he knew it was the end of our relationship. He had stopped planning the wedding weeks ago." 

 

"That doesn't change-" 

 

"Are you kidding me! Of course it does. I chose, it's what you wanted me to do, right? You basically said I had two lives and, you're right I did, and I chose which one I wanted to live in and I choose you. You and Junhong so can you just shut up and kiss me right now?" 

 

Kris looked exasperated. He looked almost as tired as that night they first met but Chanyeol saw the tension in his jaw slacken and all the fight drain out of him as he closed the distance between them again. This time, the moment lasted forever. 

 

 

-

 

 

[FOUR YEARS LATER] 

 

 

-

 

 

"I'm seriously about to start crying. I knew it would be hard but I didn't think it would be that hard to watch my baby start kindergarden and not even glance back at me when he walked into the classroom. It's like I don't even exist anymore."

 

"Can you please stop being a drama queen? He'll be back in a few hours. If this is how bad you are now I don't even want to think how you're going to be when he goes off to college." 

 

Chanyeol pouts. "I don't even want to think about Junhongie moving out. He's still my baby and I can still remember the first time he called me "Dada" - him leaving us for good is going to be too painful- What?" Chanyeol demands after seeing his husband's smirk paste itself on his stupid handsome face. 

 

"It's just, I can't believe how long it's been. It seems just yesterday I was standing in the rain with Junhong strapped to my chest and you coming to my rescue." 

 

"What's funny is that that night in the rain, you rescued me." 

 

 

END 

 

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