Seoul , December 2014

The sun rise up in the horizon , coloring the sky with this beautiful combination of colors , and sending its warm rays to the world , declaring the start of a new day.

A new day that would mean  new beginnings , new chances to fix a mistake , make up with a beloved , start a job , change your life , challenge yourself , break a habit … a new day , is a new hope , and a new chapter that could afford any ending you may choose.

However , for some people .. a new day would mean 'Another day' ;of falling back in the same routine , over and over again.

And that how Siwon's life was.

His sleepy eyes fluttered open slowly , when the sunlight crawled inside his room from the open window , hit him directly in the face.

He half rolled on the bed when the warmth of the sunlight on his face bothered him , and laid on his back , rubbing his eyes , and yawning tiredly.

 He kept staring blankly at the ceiling above him , his mind was still unaware of anything since he wasn't fully awake , so he wasn't thinking of anything specific , until his eyes suddenly widened , and he turned his head quickly to the bed side table , looking at the clock.

"Thank God ," He sighed in relief when he saw that it was only 8:00AM."I'm not gonna be late today !" He thought , smiling proudly at himself as he pushed the blankets away & rolled to the edge of the bed & then got up.

And with that , he started off his daily routine he's been following since about a year now.

He walked to his closet & opened it , scanning all the clothes that were on the shelves or hanging there. After about 10 minutes of searching through different outfits , he finally picked out a casual one , a pair of black jeans & a knitted blue & white shirt , along with a black jacket since it was cold outside.

He walked to the bathroom & started filling the bathtub with hot water , he was about to undress himself , when his phone started ringing from his bed room , so he went to see who it was.

"Yeoboseyeo ?"

"Siwon-ah !" Donghae said joyfully on the other line.

"Hmm … what makes you so active like that !" Siwon asked laughing , since it was a known fact  that Donghae wasn't actually a morning person.

"Yah ! it's the holidays spirit you sarcastic boy ! don't get me wrong , but you wouldn't know because it's the kinda spirit that you obviously lack" Donghae said , making Siwon laugh even more.

"What do you want ? I was gonna take my bath !" Siwon asked , pretending to be annoyed, but he couldn't help but laugh at his spontaneous friend.

"We're all gathering for lunch today .. Jungsoo hyung's buying … he wants us all to have a group outing before everyone start to get busy with Christmas & travelling and all that" Donghae explained , and Siwon frowned.

"Umm … what time are you going ?" Siwon asked as he turned to look at the clock on the bedside table.

"At 2:00PM , then we're all gonna spend the rest of the day together hopefully" Donghae explained ,"So , you have to come"

"Listen , I will see when I can come … I kinda have an important thing to do"

"What important thing ? It's the holidays , you don't even have work !" Donghae whined.

"It's a … umm .. a date" Siwon said nervously as his eyes kept fixed on the clock.

"Really !!!" Donghae asked surprised , but his excitement suddenly seemed to vanish "Oh , you mean …"

"Yup … I promised Kyuhyun to spend the day with him today" Siwon said , his smiling could be heard in his voice , as he looked at the outfit he chose for his date.

"I …I understand … umm … all right then , I guess I'll see you later " Donghae said stuttering obviously with his words , but Siwon was too lost in his thoughts about the date to notice.

"Sure , see ya !" Siwon said , then he hung up the phone.

He went back to the bathroom & undressed himself before he got into the bathtub & lied back , letting the hot water work its magic in relaxing him.

~ Later That Day ~

Siwon , who finished taking his bath & got dressed , was running all around the apartment.

"Aiiish ! Taking a bath was a horrible idea , I should've taken a shower , horrible ! idiot you're an idiot Choi Siwon" Siwon kept telling himself after he fell asleep during the bath for almost two hours.

He took his wallet & keys & rushed out of the apartment hurried. He was looking at his cell phone to see what time it was , when he pumped into another person.

"Oh I'm sorry , so sorry !!" Siwon said bowing to the person he pumped into ;without seeing who it was , but he raised his head when he heard a familiar laugh.

"What makes you in that hurry horsy ?" Asked Heechul.

"Hyung !! mianhae , but I'm in hurry I wasn't looking" Siwon explained smiling.

"Whoa … just calm down & take a breath !" Heechul said when he noticed Siwon's breathing fast "So , you're going to the lunch today ?" He added.

"I would love to , but I have an important date" Siwon said , looking at his phone to check the time again.

"Date ?!" Heechul asked , half confused , and half excited "with who ? when ? where ?" The excited half took over as he asked with a big grin.

"I'm sorry hyung ,but I really have to go …Kyuhyun's waiting for me & I'm already late … see you later" Siwon said hurrying to his car , leaving Heechul standing in his spot with eyes wide open because of his words.

"Yah ! Yah ! what do you mean Kyuhyun's waiting ? WAIT … SIWON !!" Heechul shouted  when he finally snapped out of his thoughts , but Siwon was already driving further.

"This is seriously getting more dangerous !" Heechul said to himself with a very serious & worried tone , as he also went to his car &  drove away.

December , 2013

"MERRY CHRISTMAS !" Siwon said when he jumped from behind Kyuhyun , as he was wearing a red coat and putting a red , Santa cap.

Kyuhyun looked at him from head to toe , and he tried so hard to suppress his laughter at the other guy's appearance as he wanted to look really angry. He gave Siwon an angry glance before he turned his head away.

Siwon's smile vanished from his face when he saw the younger guy's reaction.

"I'm so sorry … I know I'm late , but I swear I couldn't do anything ! the traffic was horrible !" Siwon explained with a very apologetic tone , but Kyuhyun showed no relenting.

"Yeah right !" Kyuhyun muttered angrily , as he moved himself on the bench , giving his back to Siwon.

"I'm so sorry Kyuna ! I won't do it again I prom-"

"STOP PROMISING WHAT YOU CAN'T GIVE ! Do you know what happens to people who don't keep the promises ?!! what am I saying ! of course you know saint Choi !" Kyuhyun spit out , his voice full of malice & sarcasm … he was fed up.

Every single time him & Siwon have a date he would end up sitting for hours waiting for the other guy to come , and today was no exception.

"You know I could be sitting with my family now having a wonderful dinner & chatting happily , but I decided to skip the dinner with my family to spend some time with you & you never seem to care !!! I'm so fed up !" Kyuhyun continued , still angry by the thought that once again Siwon didn't keep his promise of not being late.

Siwon , who's been looking at the ground sighed deeply , even though Kyuhyun's words were kinda hurtful , they were true … he couldn't blame him for that at all.

An uncomfortable silence invaded the cold air between the two men as they were sitting in that crowded park near Han river they were used to sit in … when suddenly Siwon snapped.

He started looking around suddenly , causing Kyuhyun to be confused , but he was too upset to ask about what Siwon was looking for.

Siwon on the other hand closed his eyes , took a deep breath & stood up suddenly.

He walked few steps away from the bench , and Kyuhyun already thought he was leaving , when he suddenly turned around again to Kyuhyun's direction.

He was standing about ten feet away from the bench looking at Kyuhyun  in a way that made Kyuhyun nervous ,confused and excited all at the same time. He was so curious to know what Siwon was up to.

"CHO KYUHYUN !" Siwon shouted all of the sudden , causing Kyuhyun's eyes to open so wide as everyone else in the park looked at Siwon startled.

"What the are you doing !?" Kyuhyun asked as he started looking at the people in the park & saw that they were staring at them both , giving them questioning glances.

"I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE AGAIN TODAY .." Siwon continued , still shouting , his eyes were only fixed on Kyuhyun & not caring about all the glances on him."I KNOW I'M A TY BOYFRIEND ! BUT I SWEAR I'LL DO MY BEST TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU !I'M TELLING YOU IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE … I'M SOOORRY" He continued.

Kyuhyun , who's been looking at the people's glances towards him & hearing their suppressed laughter was dying of embarrassment. He wished for nothing in that moment than for the ground to open & swallow him alive !

"CHO KYUHYUN ! I LOVE YOU ! I'M SORRY !!" Siwon said that one sentence , and with that , people started laughing harder when he made a heart sign towards Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun raised his hands to cover his face that was as red as a tomato now. He felt to embarrassed but at the same time his heart was beating fast.

"If I were you , I would forgive him ! the guy's not afraid to make himself look like the biggest idiot in the world just to make you forgive him !" One guy said from behind the bench where Kyuhyun was sitting , making the latter turn around and look at him.

Kyuhyun sighed deeply , closing his eyes & trying his best to ignore all the eyes & whispers that were directed towards him from the people in the park that witnessed the 'scene'.

"Come back here !" Kyuhyun said to Siwon , pointing to the bench.

"I WON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU SAY YOU FORGIVE ME !" Siwon shouted back , making Kyuhyun curse him mentally a thousand times.

"FINE , FINE I FORGIVE YOU !" Kyuhyun shouted back impatiently.

A huge grin appeared on Siwon's face when he heard his boyfriend's words , as he ran back towards the bench , still not caring about all the people that were still staring at them laughing.

He sat down beside Kyuhyun who shot millions of angry glances towards him , but Siwon didn't seem to care , as he was smiling lovingly to his younger boyfriend.

" I love you" Siwon said , but this time with a low voice that was only audible for the two of them.

"And I hate you ! Gosh I just wanna die right now !" Kyuhyun said while he looked around.

"Do you want me to get up & put another show ?! I'm totally cool with that !" Siwon said as he stood up , but Kyuhyun held him fast.

"NO !NO ! I forgive you … I totally do I swear !" Kyuhyun said , terrified by the thought , and Siwon started laughing before he sit back down & leave a fleeting kiss on Kyuhyun's cheek.

Kyuhyun blushed massively , and he suddenly took in everything that's happened.

Despite how humiliated he felt at first , he was now feeling happy when he realized just how important what Siwon did was , he declared their love for everyone to witness , never caring about how stupid he looked or sounded. He would never ask for more.

It was more than anything he could ask for.

******'

December , 2014

"Are you sure he said that ?!" Sungmin asked again with a worried tone , as all the group of friends gathered for lunch in a small restaurant as planned.

"I swear that's what he said …. He said he has a date with Kyuhyun !" Donghae said looking down & sighing deeply , while everybody on the table looked really confused.

 "I mean it must be some misunderstanding … he may be meaning another Kyuhyun" Hyukjae said , still refusing to believe his friend's story.

"Nope , what Donghae's saying is completely right … I pumped into him by accident today , and he told me the same thing" Heechul said as he took a seat next to Jungsoo on the table .He overheard the last part of the conversation when he walked closer to the table.

"That's …. That's just …. Ugh …" Sungmin said frustrated , but he couldn't finish his words. Instead he threw his chopsticks on the plate in front of him.

"All he does is talking about Kyuhyun all the time , and every single time I would call him to meet up or go out with him he would tell me he has to see Kyuhyun to he's talking to Kyuhyun … this is seriously getting out of hand …" Donghae said also frustrated as he took a big gulp of beer from his glass.

"Someone has to talk to him … someone needs to tell him that it wasn't his fault !" Ryeowook said , while he was caressing Sungmin's back , as the latter seemed really heartbroken by this conversation.

"where is he now ?" Yesung asked , looking at Donghae & Heechul.

"I know exactly where he is now …. And I think we should all go" Jungsoo said & the others just looked at him. Some of them nodded , agreeing on the idea , and the others looked hesitated.

Siwon parked his car & turned it off , he picked up the red rose that was lying on the passenger's seat with him & got out of the car.

He started running fast , the cold air blows in his face making it hard to breath , but he didn't care.

He kept running until he was finally where Kyuhyun surely was.

"I know … I know …." Siwon panted out as he got closer , slowing his base after running so fast. " I know I'm late … I'm sorry … I'm so sorry I swear I didn’t mean it ...." He stopped & took another deep breath since he was talking fast.

There was no response.

"Kyuna … Don't do this to me … don't be this stubborn , I know I'm stupid for falling asleep in the bathtub ,but I swear I couldn't help it" He pleaded with a very guilty & sad tone." Look … I brought you a rose ! you like roses , don't you ?! You've always liked them !" he continued with a smile , but once again … there was nothing but silence !

"Kyuna … don't do this to me … please say something .. You know I didn't mean to .. you know that I love you … say something !" Siwon please …. Again .. but this time , tears were starting to build up in his eyes.

Time passed by slowly , and only a half hour later , three cars parked just behind Siwon's car , carrying the whole group of friends inside.

"See ?I told you … that's his car right there !" Donghae pointed out as he parked the car , addressing his words to Hyukjae , Sungmin , and Ryeowook who were sitting in his car with him.

Sungmin sighed deeply , as he clutched to Ryeowook's hand stronger. Ryeowook nodded to him "it's okay hyung .. " Ryeowook whispered to Sungmin , as he got out of the car & helped him out too.

"Let's go …. " Heechul said when everyone was out of the cars , and they all nodded , as they walked together through the gate of the …. Graveyard …

Jungsoo led the way , and the others followed him , until Siwon could be seen clearly , kneeling down in front of Kyuhyun's grave , his hand resting him the grave stone , with the flower still in his hand.

Sungmin let out a sob as they got closer , and Siwon turned around startled just to see his friends standing behind him , giving him sorrowful looks.

"Hey ! It's good that you're here !" Siwon said as he got on his feet immediately "Hyung , please tell him that I'm sorry ! I didn't mean to be late today , but he's not forgiving me ! I even brought him a rose ,but he's refusing to accept it !" Siwon said to Jungsoo with a sad tone that broke the eldest hyung's heart to million pieces.

The other just looked down , unable to even look at Siwon's face.

Sungmin , Donghae , Hyukjae and Ryeowook were crying hard now , as Donghae went closer & pulled Siwon in a tight embrace.

Heechul turned around , not able to look at his dongseng's face , while Shindong , YongWoon , and JongWoon just looked at him with sad stares.

"Why are you standing like that ! Say something ! make him forgive me !" Siwon said addressing his friends , then he pushed Donghae away gently. " why are hugging me & crying what's going on ?" Siwon asked as he looked at Donghae's soaked face.

Unable to bear this scene anymore , Heechul got closer to Siwon , grabbed him by his shoulders & looked in his eyes.

"Siwon … look at me & listen carefully , arasso ?" Heechul started , and Siwon nodded , his eyes full of fear , sorrow ,and anxiety … a mixture that made it even harder for Heechul , but he knew someone has to talk , and no one was able to do that except for him.

"Kyuhyun died in a car accident last year after Christmas … he loves you …. And he forgives you … he loved no one else more than you , but he's gone now" Heechul said with a shaky voice , but he somehow managed to suppress his willing tears.

Siwon's face was soaked with tears right now.

"His death wasn't your fault , it wasn't anybody's fault … got it ?!" Heechul asked again the broken man in front of him.

Siwon didn't reply , instead , he turned his head & looked at Kyuhyun's grave only three feet away from him , "But …. If I wasn't late that night he wouldn't have been upset & had to leave the restaurant fast & get in that accident" Siwon said innocently , his words were like daggers to the others' hearts. Heechul took a shaky breath as he sensed his own break down getting closer.

"No …. Kyuhyun left quickly that day because he had a family emergency , and you weren't the one driving that van that crossed the red light & hit Kyuhyun's car … HIS DEATH ISN'T YOUR FAULT !" Heechul finally said , shaking Siwon by his shoulders , he was getting too emotional & too frustrated himself , and his tears were falling down uncontrollably now.

YoungWoon came closer & pulled Heechul away from Siwon , who turned around & went closer to Kyuhyun's grave again , getting on his knees.

"Kyuna … I Love you …. I'm sorry again for being late today .. here's your rose" He said , putting the red rose on the gravestone , and despite all the resistance & strength he was showing , Siwon broke down.

His knees felt again too weak to remain standing , so he broke down , drowning in the unbearable mixture of feelings that filled his heart.

He started crying loudly , letting out all the tears he was suppressing , all the screams he wouldn't let out before turned into broken sobs of misery & weakness.

"Kyuna … please tell them you're not gone …. Please … get up & talk to them just like you talk to me … please , I can hear you ! feel you , touch you , why can't they ? why are you only visible to me why ? WHY ?" Siwon screamed as he clutched his hands to the gravestone hard , trying to shake it & hitting it hard , causing few bruises on his hand.

Donghae & Ryeowook rushed to him as they both held him hard & pulled him away from the grave , at first he fought back as he kept screaming to stay beside the grave , but because of his vulnerable condition , they managed to pull him away.

"Let's go … we need to take him to his family .." YoungWoon said to the others who wiped their tears & agreed as they all bowed one last time to Kyuhyun before turning around & leaving the cemetery , taking a wrecked Siwon along with them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

"Annyeong … Kyuna .." Siwon said smiling , before bowing to the grave of his beloved boyfriend in front of him.

"I know what you're thinking …. It's been a long time …" Siwon started , playing nervously with the red rose in his hands. He inhaled deeply , closing his eyes to calm himself down.

He was nervous .However , he didn't have the urge to cry this time , or break down ..

This time he was here to talk , to set things straight , to open up his heart …

"I couldn't come before , because I've been going to therapy sessions with a psychiatrist … crazy right ?! I bet you're laughing at me now you mean maknae !" He smiled bitterly , and took a deep breath before going on "They all suggested it , and I know I needed it … so even though it may be hard to believe , but I wasn't too stubborn about it !"

"I almost forgot , here's your flower for today !" He said as he laid the flower on the stone grave , his bitter smile still formed on his lips.

"Kyuna …. I love you …. Gosh I love you so much & I would give the world just to hug you one more time … but … but I know you're in a better place now" The tears he's been holding back finally came out , as a tear drop streamed down his cheek , but he wiped it almost immediately.

"I finally understand that your death wasn't my fault … even though I can't lie to you … I still wish that I was there with you that day , I still wish that I didn't come late as usual , but that's the destiny … I can't change that , no one can change God's will..  you may be gone physically , but I swear you'll always be alive in my heart , my love for you is Unbreakable .. not death nor anything else can change that"

That afternoon visit , wasn't similar to the countless visits Siwon's done in the past, it was different. I wasn't really a visit as it was a closure.

 A closure to that unbearable , exhausting feeling of guilt that weighed him & killed him a little inside every single day since that accident.

For the first time in over a year and a half , he wasn't blaming himself for anything that's happened. He was finally accepting the fact that Kyuhyun wasn't beside him now. However … he wasn't alone .. he had his family , and his friends that he knew they would give everything and anything to him if he ever asked them ..

He figured out that he was blessed , blessed for such a family , friends .. but mostly blessed because he was once was loved , by Cho Kyuhyun ..

The End …

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In case you don't fully get what happened .. the date that happened in 2013 was the last one they had together , because shortly after that they had another date but Siwon was late as usual … and Kyuhyun passed away in that day ..

Siwon's basically been living in the past , and blaming himself for Kyu's death

**Hiding in the corner to avoid the bricks that are being thrown at her **

So … yeah that was horrible I KNOW , I KNOW !!

The idea of this fic came to me when I watched a short Arabic film about the current events in Syria , and I was so moved by it that I had to write it & turn it into a fanfic ..

Although I have to admit that I was so hesitated about which couple to choose , and I ended up choosing WonKyu even though I'm not exactly a WonKyu shipper tbh ! ^^"

So  despite this horrible ending , I hope you guys liked it kekekek ^^" and sorry for all the tears & sobs I caused ..

So , Pleeease leave your comments & tell me what you think even if it's a negative comment I'll receive it gladly ^_^ <3

ThanKyu so much for reading ^_^ <3 ~