He was tired. Exhausted. So extremely worn out by this thing he even dared to call life. But in reality it wasn't really anything more than just routines upon routines, duties and meaningsless efforts and obstacles that you everyday had to endure and get through. Filled to the brim, Do Kyungsoo decided that he have had enough.

The cold night air filled his lungs for every breath he drew. It burned, the cold that was embracing his body made him shiver. The plump lips trembling minimally, paler than usual. His cheeks lightly rose red and his neat, slim body covered by a long coat that had been tightly wrapped around his body. Aimlessly he walked in the darkness, the only source of light being the few streetlamps lining up on his right side. Throwing it's yellow, hazy light over the narrow street hidden by the massive buildings rising and reaching for the dark sky on both his left and right side. 
The boy's round and innocently wide eyes stared at his own feet, observing how them repeated the same move. Lift, forward then lift again and forward. Brought him closer to his destination for every step he took. The silence peacefully rested over the rather unpopulated part of the city but the familiar sounds of cars and the lively society on the other side could still be heard even from this distance. A sigh slipped past his lips, a small cloud of steam appeared in the air to then fade away. He raised his hands, rubbing them against each other in a pathetic try to regain som warmth that he had lost under his walk home that had lead him somewhere completely else. Kyungsoo had often thought about the possibility to just one day disappear, no one would notice it anyway. Even though they may care for that short moment after he would soon be forgotten. That was how it was for everyone. You live your life, fearing the death that we all meet sooner or later. It doesn't matter if your life was special, filled with memories or empty because in the end the only thing we want is to be remembered. As a friend, relative, lover. You hope for warm and sincere words about yourself after your death, a foreverlasting place as evidence that you have actually existed. That you were someone. Though most of these people were now nothing more than gravestones, filling up place in every country, ashes spread out to then become one with the 'nature' or a simple picture standing in someones bookshelf. As well as we are destined to die, we are destined to be forgotten. He though, he had already been forgotten for a long while ago. The ones so called his family, friends, everything. He had lost everything. The will to live, to fight and to dream. It all just felt like a waste of time now when he knew. He knew that he wouldn't be here to watch him. He that had promised to stay by his side, to support him in the darkest times, to heal his wounds and ever so gently kiss his pain away. 
"Liar".
The tears burned his eyes as always when the thoughts drifted through his mind, something they did often nowadays. Every hour, minute and second he could feel his presence. That ridiculously optimistic voice calling for him, cute bubbling laughter, whole hearted smile and kind eyes that would always look at him so lovingly. He could feel the warmth from his body, his hands trailing over his body under the nights, his lips touching his cheek just seconds before he would start to cry. Every time he tried to hurt himself, relieve all the feelings and let it all go he would always appear before him in his head. And he could hear him whisper in his ear so sweetly and comforting.
"It will be okay. Everything is going to be alright".
And for a moment, Kyungsoo would always believe those words.

That was at least until a month after everything. When the flashing pictures of the accident had become something daily, when the aching heart in his chest had slowly gotten used to the pain, when the rather sleepness nights in their bed was something he longed for he realised it. That things weren't going to go back to normal, that everything wasn't going to be 'alright' or even near that word. And he had felt so slow, so dumb for not having taken it in earlier. Even though he kept hearing the words, kept seeing the same pictures in their photobook and kept going to work for his sake. Because he had told him to live. But how were he supposed to live when he was broken? Missing precious pieces that he needs to survive? To work as Do Kyungsoo. He couldn't repair himself and no one else either. The scars remained, the holes wide open and his soul lost in the past. 
His legs led him closer to the bridge becoming visible in the distance, his pale hands reaching out for the bridge railing and with stiff movements then grab it convulsively. The boy breathed out in a trembling breath, forced his jaws together as the tears trailed down his cheeks. 
"LIAR!" He screamed out into the lonely night, his words reaching out over the landscape.
"LIAR LIAR LIAR!" Kyungsoo repeated, hitting the bridge rail furiously with his clenched fists.
The thin jeans clothes legs soon failed to keep the boy standing and he fell down on his knees, letting them handlessly hit the hard tree underneath him. And he raised his hands, covered his face as he cried out. Saying everything he had wanted to say, telling every little secret and lies he had been drawing and kept hidden from the other one. Then finally he reached the conclusion he had discovered for not that long ago.
"I can't....I can't Chanyeol..." a short pause was made before he continued, "TELL ME! How...How am I supposed to live without you..? It hurts...It hurts so much".
But of course there was no one there to reply him. To answer his questions or to accept his feelings. It was just him and the stars lighting up in the darkness. And he wondered, Kyungsoo wondered if Chanyeol too was up there somewhere. Watching him right now, telling him exactly what to do. His hands slowly sunk to then utlimately fall to the sides of his body. Chanyeol didn't need to answer, because he already knew what he was going to say. The boy leaned his back against the bridge railing, letting his legs stretch out over the open space as he stared up at the sky. And he didn't really know what he was looking for. Maybe a sign, anything that could possibly come from him. Then suddenly the corners of his mouth was curved upwards and he snorted before bursting out into a cold laughter. And well sure, from a stranger's perspective he surely looked like a total weirdo that had finally lost his mind. Maybe he had. 
"I'm sorry", he smiled sadly and then heaved himself up from his sitting position.
The right slender hand reached into his pocket and he felt the cold metal being pressed into his palm. Kyungsoo gripped it and then without any hesitation pulled out the gun that he had been keeping with him since the age of 15. Another secret. The hand raised the weapon to then gently press the pipe against his temple. Stiff finger being crooked around the trigger.
"I'm sorry".