Taekwoon was more of the giver in their relationship rather than the receiver. He enjoyed giving Wonsik small bouquets of flowers or kisses on the head when he thought no one was watching. (Hakyeon more often than not peeked from around corners and cooed at their young love.)

   Wonsik was naive, timid, and quite honestly scared because he had always heard the older talk about wanting a beautiful wife and multiple children. He didn't understand how Taekwoon coud whole-heartedly give those dreams up to be with him. Sometimes when they cuddled up together, Wonsik would pinch the skin on his upper thigh, the yelp leaving his lips reminding him this was indeed reality.

 

   "No!" Wonsik scolded. "You always do everything for me, and it's time I repay the favor."

   "You don't have to do anything," Taekwoon softly replied. "You repay me by being with me."

   "Okay, but no matter how cute and sappy that is, I want to take you out to eat."

   Taekwoon shook his head.

   Wonsik sighed. "Get up, we're going."

   The older followed him out like a lost puppy.

 

   Hakyeon sat on the couch, fingers running through his sweat-slicked hair, intently watching the news while redialing Wonsik's phone everytime it went to voicemail.

   "Wonsik-ah! Stop trying to avoid me! I know what happened. Everyone knows what happened. Come back here before you do something stupid or wind up hurting yourself!"

 

   Wonsik sat on the curb outside a shammy bar. His breathing was ragged and his heart was in his chest. He set his phone on silent, that way he wouldn't have to hear the nonstop ringing of Hakyeon demanding an explanation.

 

   "Ah, it's Hakyeon again..We really need to talk, Wonsik. Jaehwan and Hongbin haven't stopped crying. They miss him, Wonsik. What on Earth did you do to him, huh?"

 

   Wonsik returned two hours later, mind still blank and tear stains sticking messily to his cheeks. He opened the door only to come face-to-face with Hakyeon.

   "The news reporter said you were going twenty miles over the speed limit. How the hell could you do that to him? He was only twenty-three!"

   "Don't put words in my mouth, Hakyeon. If you really watched the news, you'd see the accident wasn't my fault. Don't try to blame this on me. He was my world, Hakyeon. What makes you think I wanted him dead?!"

   Hakyeon faintly smelled the scent of alcohol on the other's breath.

 

   Taekwoon's mother approached Wonsik at her son's funeral, black rosary in hand.

   "I want you to have this, Wonsik. My Taekwoonie would always keep this with him to give him comfort. You look like you need some comforting," she said as if the wet trails down his face dripping onto his suit (and probably ruining it) and the fistful of crumpled tissues weren't an indicator.

   Wonsik couldn't form words, but thanked her by deeply bowing and then pulling her in for a hug.

 

  Wonsik didn't speak anymore. There was nothing valuable for him to say, so he decided to stay quiet, only nodding 'yes' or 'no' when asked a question. He watched the other four members fool around on the sidelines as if nothing ever happened and it angered him because they were close to Taekwoon, too.

  Wonsik considered himself responsible, even though the other driver was found to be the cause of the fatal accident. Thoughts flooded his mind constantly, haunting his every waking hours. Even when he could fall asleep, he'd always awake from nightmares of Taekwoon begging for his life.

   After Hakyeon saw the purple bags under Wonsik's eyes from days of not sleeping, he knew it was serious. There was nothing he could do, nothing he could do to bring Taekwoon back.

 

   It was three months after the accident when Sanghyuk noticed the first bruise on Wonsik's midsection. They were changing backstage for a photoshoot for a popular magazine, the first kind of promotion they've done since Taekwoon's passing.

   "What is that, hyung?" Sanghyuk asked, pointing to the purple imperfection right over the rapper's navel.

   "That would be my skin, Sanghyuk," Wonsik coldy stated before pulling his shirt over his head.

 

   Hakyeon learned of the mysterious mark from the maknae, and he made it a point to watch Wonsik more carefully. A few days later, after the rapper had showered and was clad only in a low hung towel around his hips, is when Hakyeon made his move.

   The leader opened the door, watching as Wonsik turned from his sight instinctively.

   "Turn around."

   "No."

   "Why not?"

   "Stop it, Hakyeon. I deserve it."

   When the eldest stopped talking and started listening, he could hear soft sobs and tremors coming from Wonsik's body. Hakyeon was able to stride across the room and turn the rapper around easily now, visually gaping at his stomach, which now was all shades of purples, greens, and browns.

   "I deserve the pain I should've received that day, although I don't think this amounts to his sacrifice. I mean he-"

   "Wonsik, stop. Look at me." Wonsik lifted his head unwillingly to look into Hakyeon's eyes, a hint of worry, concern, and pity laced in his pupils. "You don't deserve this. Does this look like something Taekwoon would want you to do? No, it doesn't. It was never your fault, and I'm sorry for confronting you like that. But Wonsik..you can't do this to yourself. Please. Promise me no more."

   "I can't promise you that yet. I have somewhere to go first."

   Hakyeon left the room in tears.

 

   Wonsik fiddled with the pendant of the necklace he was wearing with his fingertips as he walked the cold November streets. He was dressed in his best clothes--garments he had only worn one other time, about three months ago.

   He stopped at the café down the street from the dorm and ordered a large latte. Even though he himself hated them, Taekwoon liked them, and Wonsik liked taking him out for treats. It was warm in his hands, not exactly how Taekwoon's hand would be wrapped in his own, but it gave him a strange sense of comfort.

   Next, Wonsik walked to the florist across the street and bought a small bouquet of daisies. Taekwoon always bought him roses, but Taekwoon secretly adored the petite white flowers.

   Finally, Wonsik made the difficult walk to the cemetary, about a mile away, where Taekwoon was buried. He set the flowers over the gravemarker and set the coffee on the grass next to him since it now turned cold and reminded him too much of memories he'd wish to forget.

   "You thought I forgot, didn't you?" Wonsik whispered. His voice gave out and he couldn't speak much else.

   "Happy birthday, Taekwoonie. I miss you."

   The cold wind rustled the leaves of the trees around him, but he couldn't feel anything except the chill running up his spine. After several hours of sobbing and pounding the ground wishing for Taekwoon to come back and 'hold me, just one last time. please..'  he lifted himself off the grass, suit covered in dirt and face drenched red with tears and picked up the latte in an attempt to go back to the dorm.

   Wonsik almost dropped it. It was warm to the touch.

 

   Hakyeon watched as Wonsik walked in, throwing the coffee in the trash as if it were possessed. 

   "You okay?" he asked out of general curiosity.

   Wonsik sighed. "Yeah, I will be." He fiddled with his thumbs. "Thanks for talking with me earlier. I really would have gone all the way."

   Hakyeon rubbed his back. "We all love you. Remember that."

 

   Ten months later, Wonsik tells Hakyeon he's inviting someone over for dinner.

   "Oooh, is he cute? Is he more handsome than Hongbinnie? I can't wait to meet him!" Hakyeon squealed, since it was the first time Wonsik's been in the dating field since Taekwoon.

   Wonsik just sighed.

 

   When Wonsik opened the door to let his guest in, no one expected to see a tall, skinny, beautiful woman walk in with confidence higher than her stilettos. 

  She sat down at the empty chair and intoduced herself as Hyesun, Wonsik's girlfriend. The members gave each other glances throughout the meal.

 

   "Wonsik, what the hell? You've always told me you were interested in guys.." Jaehwan asked after the rapper's date had left.

   Wonsik smiled. "Taekwoon always wanted a beautiful wife and children, but he never got to experience that. I never wanted that life, but we don't always get what we want, do we?"

   The cold winds came back, but instead of circling him, they hit Wonsik full force, knocking him to the ground.

   "That's Taekwoon telling you you're making a big mistake."

   "Well then what do I do?" the rapper asked Jaehwan.

   "Move on. Be happy. Do what you want to do."

 

    Hakyeon got a call late the next morning, when he was still in bed and Wonsik went to visit his girlfriend. His phone was on silent; the winds are what awoke him.

   Wonsik was calling him.

   "Hello?" Hakyeon asked groggily, still shaken from being woke.

   "To answer your question, Hakyeon..."

   The leader felt the winds pick up, giving him chills and forcing him under the comforter

   "I can't keep that promise."

   The winds were uncontrollable now; Hakyeon could hear the swirling of air and the crash of things falling and shattering.

   The line went dead.

   The winds stopped blowing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[A/N]

Hey, I'm back! I felt really bad that it's taken me so long to update, so I just spent a couple hours free-writing 75% of this.

I hope you understand that it's been so long because of finals (and because I went to see VIXX in Chicago :p).

I actually got the idea for this fic by a BIV prompt on tumblr, and I thought it fit really well because I just recently went through a big loss in October.

(I read my A/N from my previous story and I sounded really serious. I'm not. I'm probably the least serious person you could meet.) (okay, maybe not..)

Comment if you liked it! I'm not sure when I'll write another fic, since I've kinda been on writer's block lately..

See you on the next fic!

 

~Caitlin