“Hey angels, would you care if I end it all tonight?”

“Hey angels, do people really need to be judgmental towards other people?”

“Hey angels, tell me when did my life become so ed up?”

“Hey angels, it would be nice if you can answer me”

Kim Namjoo lay down her back on the blanket that she had already spread on her apartment’s rooftop long ago. The rooftop had become her one and only territory. Sometimes, she even sleep there.

Tonight, she talking to the angels which she didn’t even know if they exist or not but she did anyway. Again, she’s counting the stars that was lighting up the skies. But tonight, the sky seems so dark and there is not even a single stars hanging on the wall of the earth.

‘maybe it will rain tonight’ , she thought.

Namjoo was right. She felt a drop of rain on her face but she didn’t budge. She can heard her neighbors, screaming to their child to not play at the balcony because it’s raining. But Kim Namjoo lay still.

Who cares if it’s rain ?

Rain will not kill you anyway.

Heck, Namjoo would never care if today is the end of the world.

Her life was over anyway.

The rain start pouring like crazy and if anyone ever see her, they would think that Namjoo is one crazy girl. I mean who would not? Namjoo  is practically laying on the already wet blanket with her eyes closed. The candles that she had been lit up from the start had already distinguish. The only things that accompanying her is the cold wind.

Namjoo is shivering in coldness. Her feet felt numb. Her heart was chanting

‘take me Lord. Take me tonight and end all the pain i had’

But somehow, she can heard

‘not now, it’s not the time yet’

Again, Namjoo was crying her heart out that night. And no one or anything can stop her.

She was damaged enough.

And she can’t bear another day to live.

“Why angels why ?!” she scream

“Why did you take them away from me?”

“I am not strong enough angels. I can’t” she sobbed.

“please, just take my soul and my heart right now. I can’t do this anymore. I beg you to take my life just like the way you take my parents !” Namjoo put her hands on her face, covering her eyes.

Crying.

It’s already became her routine.

The shining stars.

Her only hope.

The angels.

Her only friend.  

Don’t ever ask if she never attempt to commit suicide. She did. Numerous times. But lady luck never leave her side and she is sick of it.

Suddenly Namjoo feels like the rain had stopped.

She opened her eyes and saw a pair of eyes staring at her with an umbrella above her, blocking the rain.

She quickly wake up and bump her head toward him making both of them moan in pain.

“w-who are you?” Namjoo asked with stutter. Not because she is nervous or scared but because her body was already shivering like crazy. Namjoo hug her body, trying to warm herself.

“Uhm .. I heard someone scream up here so I just came to check if anything” He answered as he keep the umbrella above her.

Namjoo stare at him for a while.

“Let’s go. It dangerous up here” He put out his hands for her to hold.

Namjoo stare at his hands.

No one.

No one ever lend a hand when she is in need. Why now?

But somehow, Namjoo put her hand on his. Like she is putting up her trust on him right now.

She didn’t know but that smile seems so sincere.

He help her to get up but her legs give out, making she stumble.

“It’s okay. I’ll help” He said as he put his arm around her waist, helping her to stand up properly. Namjoo realize that she’s making his shirt wet but her legs feel so numb and she can't stand up properly.

Namjoo saw that they just passed her apartment and went to the next apartment that just beside her.

‘New neighbor ?’ she thought.

He open his apartmen’s door and led her in. He helps her sit on his couch and run to a room to take dry towel and a shirt for her to dry up.

“Here, go to that room and changed into this or you’ll get sick. Go” He push her toward the room he’s been pointing to. Namjoo who still blur from the start just go and do what she’s been told. Has she been hypnotize or what ? since when she let anyone to touch her and made conversation with her ?

After few minutes, Namjoo came out wearing his long sweatshirt that cover her till her knee.

“you’re done” he beam a smile and ask her to sit on the couch. She saw that he still drying his hair with his towel and put it around his neck.

“here” he said as he give her a cup of hot chocolate.

“I don’t know what you like but I hope you’ll like it” he said.

Namjoo smell the aroma.

Hot chocolate.

Her once favorite drink.

Namjoo hold the cup, her hands feel warm.

She hesitated a bit before sipping down a bit of the hot chocolate.

“are you okay?” he ask

“who are you?” she ask suddenly.

“oh I’m sorry. I forgot to introduce myself earlier. I’m Kim Jongdae. You can call me Chen. I’m new around here and I just move in today” He smile again.

“Namjoo” she said without being asked. What the hell just happened to her ?

She never speak even a word toward anyone else but she is actually having a conversation with a guy she just met ?

‘angels, what prank are you playing on me right now?’

“do you want to talk about what did you up there ?” Chen said, mentioning about the rooftop.

“No. Maybe not” Namjoo said.

“sure, where do you live by the way?”

Namjoo didn’t answered but only pointing out to the right.

“you live next door ?” he ask

Namjoo nodded.

“you really didn’t talk much” he said in a matter of fact tone.

Namjoo just smile a bit and they fell into an awkward silent. None of them were talking but they enjoy it.

“I should get going” Namjoo said as she put her cup on the table.

“uh-yeah sure, just come over if you need to talk” he smiles.

Being an awkward person she is, she just nodded and walk to the door and went to her apartment.

For the next few weeks, Chen keep appearing in front of her and it makes her feel uncomfortable yet she wants him to be near here. Somehow, he made her feels like she finally breathing.

Namjoo decide to spent her night at the rooftop today since the sky is so clear. She bring up some cookies and plain water to the rooftop and back to her usual position.

Laying.

“Hey” Namjoo heard a familiar voice and quickly wake up.

“I bring some cakes and latte” he smiles, showing two bags of plastic which contain cakes and latte that he bought on the way home.

Inviting himself, he sat down on the blanket which no one, except Namjoo could ever sit there.

“I have carrot cake and cheese cake, which one do you want to eat first ? we can share if you want but I’d tell yo-“

“why are you here?” after a long silent, Namjoo cut his sentence and blur out hers.

“well, I just got back from work and accidentally bought this cakes. You know that I don’t have friends here right ? so I thought that maybe I can share this with you. I knocked on your door multiple times but no one answer so I guess you must be up here” he explain which he actually lied about him accidentally bought two cakes while in reality it is really his intention to bought two cakes home.

“you talk a lot” Namjoo said with a straight face.

“hahaha , yes, people said that to me a lot” he said as he preparing the cheesecake and grab a spoon provided.

“Why did you keep bothering me? Don’t you think I’m weird ?” she ask.

“No. I don’t think you weird. I think that you need help and I’m being a gentleman to help you out” he explain as he shoved another spoonful of his favourite cake.

“I don’t need any help” Namjoo said coldly and get up.

“wait , you do. I know that you need help and you know it too and it won’t hurt to try” Chen said as he grab her hand.

“sit. If you don’t want to talk then that’s fine for me but stay” he said as he bring her to sit beside him again.

“you should just leave me alone, Chen. You should just stay miles away from me and judge me too. You should ignore me when you found me. I’m bad influence for you. You should just go away” She said after a long silent between them.

“I am not that type of person, Namjoo” he said.

“but everyone did. They judge me. They say I’m crazy. They say I’m a bad luck. They say I’m not worth living. They said I should just die” She slowly start to tear up.

“I won’t . I won’t judge you. I won’t say you crazy. And don’t let anyone decide what you should do in your life. You are the one who living your life and you know your worth” he explain.

“People hates me, Chen. I don’t have friends. I don’t have parents. I don’t have anyone. Even God are punishing me. He didn’t let me leave this world. He should just let me die with my parents instead of living like this” she sobbed harder.

“Maybe it just not your time yet” he smile as he pat her back.

“Tell me Namjoo. Tell me your story”

“you will run away”

“no, I won’t. never” he said, assuring her.

Somehow, Namjoo trust him.

“I was six when I lost both of my parents in a plane crash. I had a sister whom I adore and cherish. She take care of me after they left but who knows fate was playing with me. At the age of 10 , I lost her. My one and only family. I was seen as the bad luck of the family because they all died. I grew up in an orphan’s house. I went to school and manage to get a good result and attend an university. But I was living a hell since they died. People around me keep talking behind me. I remember all the words they spat out on me. There were once I had a hard time of my life so I built up a tent that made from plastic and things that I can recycle to be my temporary shelter. But they were cruel enough when they burnt it down. I had no cents in my pocket so I stop my study. I work at a gas station for a while but the boss accused me for taking the counter’s money. He fire me right there and that left with nothing. Just list all the work I never did. I do all things Chen. Just to survive in this cruel world. I started to dessert myself from people. I didn’t talk if it were not important. Even so, people still see me like I’ve made a huge mistake” she stops for a while as she sip in her latte.

“I questioned myself what did I ever do in my past life to receive something like this. Is it my fault they died ? I didn’t ask to be born like this. Heck I don’t even know how fate is for me. I attempt committed suicide every time I felt like I lost hope in life. I guess, you’re right maybe God want me to suffer a bit more before he takes my life” she said.

“I didn’t know why did I tell you my story. I mean, no one ever care anyway” she smile sarcastically. She low down her head, allowing herself to cry again.

“Because you can trust me” Chen said as he cupped her face, to look at him.

Namjoo admire his features.

He was good looking to be honest and she just realize it now.

“Let me help you. Give me a chance. I promise I won’t let you down” He said with all his heart. Chen pull Namjoo into a hug and she cried in his arms.

‘can she trust him?’

Namjoo rearrange her flowers in her living room. She thought maybe putting some flowers would lighten  her house. It’s been so dark.

“Namjoo !” She heard that familiar voice searching for her as soon as he open her apartment door.

“Living room , oppa!” Namjoo yell back.

“There you are princess” Chen said as he put their lunch on the kitchen counter.

Namjoo smile at him. Silently thanking to the angels because they send him in to her life. A year had passed and she had changed a lot. All because of him.

“Let’s go out tonight” He smile as he sat beside her.

“where ?” Namjoo ask

“Secret. Just be ready at 8 and I’ll come to pick you up” he said as he peck her cheek and run.

“oppa !” Namjoo was flustered. That was not the first time he peck her cheek and she’d been asking him why but he just shrugged and tell her that she is so cute and he can’t resist.

It was almost 8 pm and Namjoo is ready. She just wear a white plain shirt and flowery printed shorts that just above her knee and wear a blue jeans cardigan over the top. She just put a light make up like she always did and do her hair neatly.

Ding Dong

‘since when he learnt to bell the ring?’ Namjoo thought since Chen usually just barged into her apartment without ringing the bell. Namjoo pick up her purse and look at the mirror one last time before walking out her room.

“Hey” she smile as she saw Chen standing outside her door. Now it feels like they are going on a date.

“You look extra cute today princess” Chen said sweetly as Namjoo walk out and lock her door.

“You know, you should stop calling me princess. It’s been ages and I’m not a princess” Namjoo said as they walk toward the elevator to the parking basement. Namjoo eyed Chen’s outfit and it’s pretty much same to her. Casual outfit.

“Nope. I like it and I’m not going to change it” He said playfully pinching her cheeks.

“Yah !” She rubbed her cheeks and glare at him.

They walk to his car and Chen drive to Myeongdong. It’s been a long time since they went out like this because both of them are busy with their works especially Chen who is working as a psychiatric which Namjoo just know 2 months after. No wonder he is so good with talking to other people. While Namjoo find herself a job at Chen’s friend flower shop with his help, of course.

They had so much fun eating , shopping and playing around at the street. It was 9:45 pm when Chen decide from them to head to Han River because Namjoo said that she never been there because there was a lot of people and she is scared to go alone.

Once they arrived, they sit on a bench facing the beautiful Han River that most of the Koreans proud of having it.

“I thought there will be lot people coming here” Namjoo said as she eye the surrounding. It seems like only them.

“At day, yes but not at night”

They had a small talk as they drink their favorite latte which they buy on the way.

“Oppa” Namjoo called.

“Yes” Chen look at her.

“Thank you” She smile. Over the past year, she never really had a chance to say her gratitude to him.

“For what?”

“For being my stars who light up my already dark world”

“I would be your moon and sun if you want” he joked. She laugh and they become silent again. It’s not the awkward silence but a comfortable one.

“Hey princess”

“yes”

“Will you be my one and only princess?”

“huh ?” Namjoo look at him weirdly.

“Be my girlfriend”

Namjoo was stunned.

“Be mine and sorry, I didn’t accept no as an answer. Like it or not, you’re mine now” he said as he pulled her into a sweet kiss.

Namjoo smile.

If anyone ask, she would say her life is complete now.

“hey angels, I’ve found my hero”