"So, Kris, being a famous romance novelist, don't you have a muse for your ideas? Perhaps, a girlfriend?" the interviewer, a lady called Krystal who had a pretty smile, asked. His fans cheered wildly, as Yifan gave a sheepish smile.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Yifan replied, "No, actually."

If it was possible, the cheers got even louder. Their oppa was free and single, who wouldn’t be happy?

Krystal's eyes widened with mock surprise, "Really? Not even someone you are interested in? Wouldn't you have quite a lot of confessions? I mean, look at you!"

It was true, though, that Yifan was indeed handsome. Standing at nearly 6 feet 2, a sharp chiseled face, and tousled blond hair, even if he hadn't gone into the path of writing, he would have been a hit in the modeling industry. Love from fans showered him from all sides easily, but that was only skin deep.

Yifan tilted his head back and let out a short bark of laughter. He replied with an easy grin, "Nah, none yet."

And it was true as well, that love didn't come easy for the romance novelist. For someone who wrote stories that sent his readers' pulse racing, set their hearts aflame and caused butterflies in their stomach, it was ironic that Yifan was not able to experience these past few years.

Love didn't come easy at all.

. . .

Yifan felt the stares as he walked down the streets of Seoul. Pushing his sunglasses further up his nose bridge, Yifan tried his best not to appear squirmish under all the attention.

"They only know the beauty on the surface, but what's really underneath is a far cry from the fantasies they imagine," he couldn't help but wonder at the naïvety of the people around him. His fans proclaim they love him and would do anything for him, but when it boils down to it, how many would actually stick by him?

Thinking back to the press conference earlier on, Yifan couldn't help but ponder why exactly he didn't have a partner. Was it because of his absurdly high standards? Or was it because he wasn't ready?

Stranded among his thoughts, he was only jolted back into reality as he walked into another. Instinctively grabbing the other by his arm to stabilize him, he felt a sense of familiarity wash over him. Removing his sunglasses, his eyes widened at the sight of the man in front of him.

"Yixing?" his voice was soft and uncertain, as if he was afraid that he had the wrong person.

"Yifan?" but the reply was far more reassuring than it should have been.

A smile broke out on the other man's (Yixing's, his brain whispered) face and Yifan replied with one of his own, if not albeit forced.

"Yeah, it's me," Yifan replied, rubbing the back of his neck. He cursed himself internally, way to go Yifan! Totally be awkward about this coincidental meeting, yeap, you go Yifan!

Yixing threw his head back and laughed, "You really didn't shake that habit of yours, did you?"

And Yifan hated the fact that Yixing knew exactly what he was talking about; that whenever he got nervous, he always had the quirk of rubbing the back of his neck.

A softer and higher-pitched voice suddenly piped up, "Who's this, Xing?"

It was then that Yifan realized Yixing's hand was s around another male's waist, who had light pink hair, which should have looked ridiculous but (unfortunately) didn't, and huge doe-like eyes.

"Oh, Lu! Forgot you were here," Luhan just giggled and waved it off like it was a normal occurrence, "this is Yifan, my best friend when I was in university. Yifan, this is my fiancé, Luhan."

Yifan's jaw dropped slightly as the word 'fiancé'. "Nice to meet you, Yifan-ssi?" Luhan greeted politely with a cute tilt of his head as he chewed out Yifan's name.

"Uh...nice to meet you too, Luhan?" Yifan replied, still slightly dazed.

He watched, as though looking through a misted screen, as Luhan whispered something to Yixing that caused the latter to laugh again. And suddenly, he blurted out,

"What about him?"

Yixing's laughter ceased immediately and he looked at Yifan dead in the eye.

"I mean, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"It didn't work out. Apparently we didn’t mix as well as we thought we would. It was more of…" Yixing grappled around for the most appropriate word to use, “a comfort than anything else.”

His words cut deeper than it should have.

For a few heartbeats, the atmosphere was tense, a heavy feeling hanging in the air. But then Yixing cracked another joke and everything was fine again.

. . .

Yixing and Yifan were friends while they were still in diapers, though Yifan was a few months older. Ever since young, they stuck by each other through thick and thin, nearly like fraternal twins.

But all that changed during their first year in university.

Yifan had pursued literature and writing, while Yixing went on to further his dancing career. In Literature, Yifan met this guy called Chanyeol, who was an enigma of his own. He could still remember crystal clear how their first interaction went:

"Class, for this assignment which will last two weeks, we are going to have to do pair work!" the teacher, Ms. Jung, clapped enthusiastically, eliciting a groan from the class.

"Knowing how you guys hate partners so much, I have already decided the pairings for you!"

As much as Yifan loved Literature and anything that was a package deal with it, he couldn't help but want to chuck something, maybe a brick, at Ms. Jung at that moment.

"...and Yifan and Chanyeol! Now move!"

Wait.

What?

It was no secret that Chanyeol was a mystery of his own, preferring to keep to himself but always turning in impeccable work. He sat in a corner of his own, never socializing.

And now Yifan was expected to work with him?

Chanyeol made no sign of being willing to move to his side of the classroom, so swallowing his pride (and also the bile in his throat), he dragged his chair and moved next to him.

"Uh...hey," Yifan awkwardly greeted after clearing his throat. Chanyeol made a small motion with his head. "Okay, so do you know what do we need to do?"

Chanyeol slid a piece of paper to Yifan.

"Oh, right, the instruction sheet. Why am I so dumb?" Yifan groaned.

Had he been looking carefully, he would have seen the faint smile on Chanyeol's lips.

But of course he didn't.

- - -

"Okay, so according to this piece of paper here, we are supposed to write a piece about..." Yifan's words died off as his eyes glanced over the rest of the instructions. Ms. Jung couldn't be serious, right?

"Each other," a soft but deep voice completed his sentence, which he had left hanging. Yifan jerked his head to the side quickly, too quick to be normal. A groan left his lips as he massaged the side of his neck.

A chuckle left the lips of his partner and Yifan couldn't help but stare, transfixed, eyes wide and with one hand still on his neck. And one thought couldn't help but fly through his mind, Oh wow, he has a nice laugh. Or chuckle. Whatever.

"You better close your mouth before flies fly in," that same baritone voice teased again. Yifan closed his mouth and continued staring at the person beside him.

It was only when his partner motioned towards the piece of paper in his hand did he snap out of his shock.

"Right, right, the assignment. So, uh, we're supposed to write about each other, so uh, I guess we should start off by knowing each other?" Yifan suggested, cheeks still warm from his lack of grace earlier.

Holding out his hand, he introduced, "Hi, my name is Wu Yifan. I guess you'll be stuck with me for now?"

"And I'm Park Chanyeol, nice to meet you too."

- - -

"I swear, Yixing, he's the hottest thing ever! And oh god, his voice, don't even get me started on his voice," Yifan exclaimed as he waved his chopsticks in the air.

Yixing chuckled softly, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure he is."

It was no secret that the two of them were gay. With them being so close to each other, it was to be expected that they would reveal their uality at some point or another. Sure, they may suffer the backlash and be insulted by some, but as long as they had each other, they didn't give a damn.

Yifan slammed his chopsticks down on the table. With a look crossed between frustration and concentration, he frowned and asked the person opposite him, “Do you think he’ll accept if I ask him out on a date?”

Yixing shrugged and replied, “You can try. Besides, don’t you have to do that project together?”

His eyes lit up, “Right, I can’t believe I forgot!”

Yixing opened his mouth to say something but got cut off by the bell.

“Crap, we better go. Wish me luck!” Yifan bid goodbye as he ran off in the direction of his Lit class.

Yixing slowly put his hand down as he sighed, “I didn’t even get a chance to talk about the guy in my music class.”

. . .

“And that was enough reason to kiss him?” Yifan roared at Yixing across the table, “He’s my boyfriend, you know, mine!”

“Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol, every day I have to put up with you talking about him! I knew him around the same time as you did and liked him ever since! I have to hear you talk about your love life ever since you met him in Lit. What about me? And by the time I learnt you were dating him, I already fell hard, Yifan!” Yixing shouted back with equal anger.

“Sometimes, I wish we weren’t friends!”

Ouch, that hurt.

Yifan slumped down into his seat, “You know what? Take him, and leave. Tell him we’re over. If you want him so much, take him. Take Chanyeol, and get out of my life!”

“I can’t believe you’ll just leave him like that. I was right when I said I’ll be able to give him a better life, I suppose,” Yixing glared at his friend (?) coldly.

Only when Yixing has left and his phone stop ringing with calls did Yifan allow himself to curl into a ball and cry.

. . .

Yifan knew he only had himself to blame. It had been insensitive and ignorant of him to rattle about Chanyeol in front of Yixing every day without thinking that it would have annoyed the latter. It had been a stupid decision for him to give up on Chanyeol just like that, without ending it cleanly, leaving broken pieces everywhere.

Broken pieces which were now cutting into him.

He had transferred to another university soon after the incident and cut all ties from the two who had affected his life as such.

And yet, just when he was contemplating about how lonely his life was, Yixing just had to show up, along with a fiancé that was not Chanyeol. Does this mean that he had given up Chanyeol for nothing?

Shaking his head to clear his mind of stupid thoughts, Yifan decided that perhaps it was time to have a coffee break. Stepping into the nearest coffeeshop, he walked to the counter in a daze and ordered a cup of espresso and slipped into a booth.

“Your espresso, Sir,” a deep voice sounded next to his ear. With a jolt, he knocked into the cup and the coffee split all over the pristine white uniform. The dark brown stain slowly spread in front of his horror-filled eyes. Springing up from his seat, he took out his handkerchief and started dabbing at the shirt, all the while muttering apologies and cursing under his breath.

A hand shot up to grab his wrist to halt further movement, “It’s okay, I have a spare in my locker. I’ll get you a replacement for the coffee afterwards.”

Tearing his gaze away from the shirt and up, he flinched back as he recognized the features of the man in front of him. Yifan’s mouth dropped opened as he stared transfixed.

The other’s eyes flickered in recognition and tore his wrist out of Yifan’s grasp immediately, retreating to the back of the shop without saying another word. Slumping into his seat as he had done just a few years back, Yifan dropped his head onto the table.

“Your espresso,” the same voice said again, but with a vastly different tone. Yifan lifted his head and looked at the waiter with regret, but for a vastly different reason as before.

The waiter turned around and Yifan quickly reached out to grab onto his forearm. Turning back, the other man asked, voice laced with annoyance, “What do you want now?”

“Look, since I ruined your shirt and even made you get a new cup of coffee,” Yifan’s voice faltered at the look of the other’s face but quickly rose back in confidence, “how about I treat you to dinner?”

“Please, Chanyeol?”

. . .

The dinner was awkward. Really awkward.

“So… you work at the coffeeshop?” Yifan grappled for something to talk about as the atmosphere descended into a deadly yet awkward silence again.

Chanyeol gave a disgruntled grunt.

Yifan tried again, “Uh, what happened to your Lit major?”

The man opposite him raised his head and glared at Yifan, “I failed one of the most important assignments in the semester because my partner disappeared. What do you think happened?”

Giving a ‘ah’ of acknowledgement, Yifan scratched the back of his neck. He had forgotten they had been working on a very important project when he had transferred schools. What was he supposed to do now, apologize?

“Uh, sorry about that. Should have thought that through, I suppose,” and he did apologize. Chanyeol continued glaring at him.

Yifan sighed.

“Look, that…incident. It had been my fault, I admit to that and I am sorry. I…I just wasn’t thinking straight that day, okay? I had witnessed my best friend kissing my boyfriend, how was I supposed to react to that? Leave it aside and not care? What kind of half-assed boyfriend would I be had I done that? I regret it every day that I had just given you up like that, I shouldn’t have. And you know what I saw today? I saw Yixing with his fiancé. Luhan. Who isn’t you. Did you know how I felt to realize that I have given you up for nothing? You made me feel things that I never had, and haven’t since then. God, and now I’m telling you all this knowing full well that you probably don’t care anymore. I’m an idiot, am I?” Yifan rambled, bitter tears welling in his eyes.

Oh, how long has he been waiting to say this.

Chanyeol’s glare softened.

Yifan folded his arms on the table and slammed his head into them, hiding his face from the man currently looking at him with an inscrutable expression.

Reaching one of his arms out, Chanyeol’s hand ruffled the clump of blond hair poking out from the mess of arms and head.

Yifan’s head jerked up and with a scrunched-up nose, he asked, sounding surprisingly like a pouting child, “What?”

Chanyeol gave a soft smile and replied, “I forgive you.”

Eyes widening, Yifan gave a snort of disbelief, “Really? I think I’m dreaming,” and proceeded to slap himself.

He looked around and blinked in wonder, “I still am convinced I’m dreaming.”

Chanyeol chuckled softly (oh, how he missed that chuckle!) and said, “Fine then, since you don’t believe it, I’ll guess I have to take back my previous statement then.”

“No, no, no, no, no way Chanyeol, no way,” Yifan rushed over to the other side of the table and without thinking, enveloped the other man tightly with his arms, ignoring the gasp elicited.

“No way am I letting you go now that I’ve found you. This chance hasn’t come easy at all. Not at all.”

. . .

“Can’t think of anything to write?”

“Argh, this is annoying. Usually I’m overflowing with inspiration then now this.”

“…”

“Why the sudden backhug? Not that I’m complaining, of course.”

“Is it a sin to hug my own fiancé?”

“No, but-”

“How about you just write about us?”

“What?”

“Us, you know, pronoun, used by a speaker to refer to himself and one or more people, which in this case, me and you?”

“I know what it means! But, are you sure? It’s going to garner attention, that’s for sure.”

“It’s entirely up to the author to decide, of course.”

“Hey, where are you going, hey!”

. . .

“So, Kris-ssi. It seems like we’re back again with your comeback novel. I’ve heard it’s a very interesting one, but also, very controversial?” Krystal enquired politely.

Yifan laughed, “Yeah, actually it is. I was very hesitant to submit it to the publishers but I somehow gathered the courage to.”

“Can I have some insight as to what the novel is about?”

“It’s basically about a homoual couple who got together in university but was separated due to one partner’s stupidity. But they meet again in the future where they are both adults and eventually…”

“Eventually…?” Krystal asked, intrigued.

“You’ll have to read to find out!” Yifan winked, “But because of the homoual content, it has become quite a controversial issue indeed, not that I wasn’t expecting it. Actually, it is based on a true story.”

Krystal’s eyes widened, “Do you mean…?”

Yifan smiled mysteriously and nodded, “This book was heavily inspired and suggested by someone close to me. For the past years, love hasn’t come to me easily, but I’ve finally found it. And based on that special someone’s suggestion, I wrote this book: Park Chanyeol and I.”

-FIN-

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