I remember the day I first met you. You were sitting alone on the swing set at the park. You looked so lonely. I remember exactly what you said when I said “you looked lonely by yourself so I decided to join you if that’s okay?”And you looked at me with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen and said “And  I wanted to join you because you looked lonely sitting on the bench. I just didn’t go because I thought you were expecting someone.” I’ll never forget that day. After that day we were always together and never left each other’s side. I remember the first time you climbed through my window in the middle of the night so you could sleep with me. I was asleep nice and comfy until I felt someone staring at me. You stood over me with a big smile and asked to sleep with me.

Flashback

“Can I sleep with you?”

“No”

“Why not?”

“Because you can’t”

“Please~ I won’t bother you~”

“Why do you want to sleep with me for?”

“Because I had a bad dream and I couldn’t go back to sleep.”

“Why don’t you go sleep with some else?”

“Because Hyukkie, I want to sleep with you~”

“No”

End of flashback

 I ended up letting you sleep with me. You looked so angelic and peaceful while you slept. After that night you started to do that all the time. Until one day you stopped coming over. I asked you why but you didn’t answer and you started to become more distant. You started to become busy all the time. You and I didn’t hang out as much. I asked you why you were so busy but all you said was that your family was having problems and you wouldn’t tell me what kind of problems. I started to not believe you. You looked like you were lying but I didn’t want to ask for the truth because I didn’t want you to get angry with me.

A couple of weeks later, while I was asleep, I felt someone staring at me and it was you. I was glad to see you there but you seemed upset, I asked you what had happen and you just started crying.

Flashback

“Donghae, what happened?”

“Hyukkie, I need to talk to you.” He said rubbing his eyes that were full of tears.

“Okay, let’s go grab something to eat and we will talk. Alright?”

“Okay.” He said and Hyukjae went to change and grabbed his coat.

They grabbed some fast food and went the park, where they first met.

“So what did you want to talk to me about?”Hyukjae asked as he took a bite of his burger.

“I don’t know” Donghae replied looking at the ground, trying to not make any eye contact.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I don’t know” he simply said still facing the same direction.

“So you just wanted to hang out?”Hyukjae really wanted to know what was bothering Donghae but he was too afraid to ask.

Donghae just nodded and kept eating. Hyukjae was trying to figure out what was wrong or what did Donghae want to talk about with him. They both stayed quit for awhile until Donghae finally spoke.

“I think I am in love with you.”Donghae said quickly and quietly but Hyukjae heard it nice and clear.

“I love you too.”Was all Hyukjae said.

“No~ I mean I really love you. I love you more than a friend. I want to be by your side forever. I never want you to go. I need you in my life, by my side. That is the reason why I haven’t hang out with you. I thought that if I didn’t hang out with that much that I would get over of what I am feeling. I thought that I didn’t love you that way but after spending all that time without you I realized how much I need you and love you. Every time I’m with you my heart starts beating really fast and I feel like I can’t breathe. I start to get a tingling feeling in my stomach and it just wont stop.”

Donghae started crying and he kept crying waiting for Hyukjae to respond.

“I have always loved you as more than a friend since the first day I saw you on that swing set. I wanted to tell you but I never had the courage to but now that you have said this I want to be with you too and I promise that I will never let you go. I will be there for you and I will love you forever.”

End of flashback

After that night you told me you loved me and  we started dating. You were always following me everywhere like a cute little puppy. You always wanted my attention and wanted me with you all day and night. Those were the happiest days of my life. When you use to wake me up in the morning by jumping on me or blowing in my ear. When you use to make breakfast and it was really disgusting but I still ate it all. When you use to tell me weird stories about your childhood or your friends, which I know they weren’t true because I know you didn’t get swallowed by whale and released a couple of days later like that one movie. You were always so cute. Do you remember our first kiss? We were so awkward and didn’t know how to start but as we started kissing more often we were never able to stop .I miss those days when you and I were together.

It’s funny how everything can change from one thing to another in just a couple of seconds. I mean what really happen to us? What did I do wrong? Why did you leave so fast? Why didn’t you tell me the truth? You just one day disappeared and I never saw you again.

Flashback

“Haeee~ come sleep with me” Hyukjae yelled from the bedroom.

“I m coming~ my y baby” Donghae said as he jumped on top of Hyukjae laughing.

“y baby?” Hyukjae asked.

“Yup, you’re my y baby. No wait your right, you’re not my y baby. You’re my ugly monkey!!” He said laughing so hard that tears were staring to come down.

Hyukjae grabbed Donghae and started tickling him for calling him a ugly monkey.

“Okay! Okay! You’re my y baby!!” He shouted to Hyukjae.

“I don’t care what you call me as long as I am yours.” Hyukjae kissed Donghae passionately.

Hyukjae had fallen into sleep and Donghae watched as he slept.

“I love you Lee Hyukjae. Forever and I am so sorry” Donghae began to cry. He kissed Hyukjae’s soft lips one last time and left.

In the morning Hyukjae woke up and noticed Donghae wasn’t there. He tried to find Donghae but he was nowhere to be found. The only thing left from Donghae was his favorite Nemo stuffed animal, lying on the sofa. Hyukjae asked Donghae’s roommate and his roommate said Donghae had gotten married.

End of flashback

It has been two years since I last saw you and I still love you. I still want to know why you really left. I am glad that I have finally found you and I hope you reply to my letter. It’s okay if you don’t want to see me. I just want to know if you still love me the way I love you Lee Donghae.

                                                                   Love,

                                                          Lee Hyukjae