If LuHan had to describe his life at the moment, he would probably pick the word peaceful.  Nothing more, nothing less. After all the tears, the drama and the arguments (that he had started, actually), everything was just so quiet and calm that LuHan would purr, like a satisfied cat, if he could.

He had apologized to all of the members for being, at times, too harsh. Also, he had managed to solve things with Baekhyun, who had proven to be a kind and understanding person and actually just waved it all off as if was nothing. Finally, he had rebuild his friendship with Sehun.

While he managed to get his friend back, sometimes, looking at Sehun could be painful. Residual love, he guessed. Analyzing things as objectively as he could, he saw that Baekhyun and Sehun were perfect for each other. He had no regrets whatsoever if it meant that both his dear friends were happy.

The only thing he didn’t have any control was the wave of want that came along. Every time that he saw how the couple interacted with one another, he almost would fall on his knees to beg at some deity to bless him with a similar relationship.

He saw the way Sehun would caress Baekhyun’s cheek, fingers so gentle that it almost looked as if he wasn’t touching. He saw how Beakhyun would hug the maknae in such a way that it seemed to leave no body part untouched. He saw how Sehun would cradle his hyung’s face and made his lips touch Baekhyun’s for what it seemed like ages. He saw how Baekhyun would entwine his fingers with his boyfriend’s every time he could reach them. He saw the little smiles, the whispered words between them, the stolen glances. He saw it all. He saw the love that bounded those two precious souls and it only made him want the same. He wanted to be loved so purely and strongly that people would actually choke on the love and taste it on their mouths.

It was simply beautiful and he craved it. Badly!

Seeing the couple being in love every day could be a sort of punch in the gut at times. They didn’t do it on purpose but it was a blatant reminder of what he lost and LuHan wasn’t made of steel: it made him get very moody. Usually, he would close himself up in his room until Junmyeon, bless him, dragged him out and made LuHan spend some time together with him.

LuHan was honest enough to admit that the attention the leader gave him felt good. It was reassuring to know someone cared, which didn't mean that the others member didn’t. Junmeyon just gave him extra attention and he liked it. The little smiles he gave him, the way he grabbed LuHan’s hands in his own, the way he let LuHan cuddle him. All of it!

What scared him were his own feelings. The extra attention had made a spark reignite in his stomach. He found himself wanting to spend more and more time with the handsome man. Preferably just the two of them but he wasn’t that picky.

However, this new developed feelings were distressing him beyond belief. His chest was so heavy with worry and his mind so filled with thoughts. LuHan knew he couldn’t go on like this. The plausible option was a nice conversation with the person currently relaxing upstairs.

LuHan knocked on the closed door until a voice inside told him to open it. He opened the door and peeked inside. Baekhyun was reading a book while gently carding his fingers on Sehun’s head, which was resting on his legs. Sehun was busy playing on his cellphone, tongue poking out of his mouth, like a little kid. The scenario made him smile.

“Hey Lu! Everything’s alright?”

“Actually no, everything is far from ok.”

At the upset tone, both boys looked at him worriedly.

“You want to talk to Sehun?” Asked Baekhyun closing his book and placing it on the nightstand “I can go downstairs and watch TV.”

“Actually, Baekhyun, I wanted to talk to you. I think Baekhyun can give me a better advice. No offense, Sehun.”

“None taken.” Replied the maknae “Want me to leave?”

“If you don’t mind. Baekhyun can tell you later but right now I kind of need him.”

At the desperation evident in LuHan’s wavering voice, Sehun just climbed down the bed. He kissed his boyfriend, murmuring a quiet “I love you” against his lips, before approaching LuHan. He didn’t say a thing but LuHan saw the understanding look he gave him. Sehun hugged him tightly and pecked him on the forehead before exiting the room, leaving the door slightly ajar, as he knew that closed doors made LuHan feel trapped.

LuHan didn’t know how to start this conversation. He had so many things he needed to let out of his chest. He opened his mouth twice and both times he closed it. Baekhyun sighed and patted his bed, (well it was his and Sehun’s since they pushed both bed together) calling LuHan to lay down with him.

The boy hesitantly lay next to him, on his side, facing him and Baekhyun could see the tired eyes and the big bags beneath them. After a few minutes of silence, where both boys just looked at each other, LuHan finally started talking much to Baekhyun’s relief.

“I’m really sorry to barge in here but I needed someone to talk to. I have so much bottled up and it’s starting to consume me. You’re the best person to give me advice at this point. It’s not about Sehun, I promise.”

“Even if it were, you can still talk to me. I promise I’ll listen and try to help you out.”

LuHan gave a smile to his younger friend. Baekhyun was always willing to help someone in need, even if it was Luhan who had caused him so much trouble before.

“I know. This is actually about something else. I think I’m…I mean I…What I’m trying to say is…”

“Is this about your relationship with Junmyeon?” Asked Baekhyun suddenly.  

LuHan sighed. Of course that Baekhyun would notice. He noticed every single thing.

“Yeah. It is.” And then it was as if someone just opened something in LuHan’s chest and words kept coming. “I am losing my mind over this. You know how I liked Sehun for a while, which of course you know since I tried to steal him from you. I even said pretty nasty stuff to you and all of the members because I’m a selfish person. But you are nice and so is everybody and things got solved.”

“LuHan…”Baekhyun was startled at the babbling pouring out of his friend mouth but it seemed that is hyung was on a roll because he kept going.

“I let Sehun go because you two are so in love and you are perfect for each other but I get so jealous, not of you or him, but your relationship, you know what I mean? Then Junmyeon just started to spend more time with me and I like it. I like it so much. I even feel the butterflies in my stomach but I’m scared. So scared! What if this is just me trying to get over Sehun? What if what I’m feeling it’s not attraction? I don’t want to pursue this just to hurt him in the end. I don’t want to use him as a rebound. And what am I saying? I don’t even know if he likes me! What if he doesn’t like me? What if this is just him being friendly? Worse, what if this is just him pitying me?”

When LuHan finished his tirade, he was panting as if he had run a mile but, strangely enough, he felt lighter. He was actually startled when he felt two hands on his cheeks.

“Are you feeling better now?” Asked Baekhyun who lay on his side too, mimicking LuHan’s position.

“Yes and no. It feels good to say these things out loud but they are still on my mind. It’s like they are stuck.”

“Then let’s address a couple of things. First of all, your self-hatred stops now. We have solved everything between us: you apologized, we apologized and it’s all good now, so stop feeling bad about those things. The past stays in the past, okay?” When LuHan nodded he carried on. “Good. Now, about Junmyeon. You realize that the butterflies in your stomach are only there because you feel attracted to him? And plus, I have seen you around him. Did you noticed that you always go to him first when you are feeling bored? How you always sit next to him on the couch and play with his hands? You let him snuggle with you in bed the other day and you and I both know your bed is off limits to everyone. You are attracted to him.”

Now that Baekhyun pointed it out, he guessed that he really did those things, even if, half the times, he didn’t notice. He felt himself blush a little. So, that meant he was attracted to Junmyeon, didn't it?

“I kind of went through the same as you. “ LuHan’s ears perked up at this piece of information. “When Sehun was still hung on you and I started to get closer to him I was scared beyond reason. I asked myself most of the questions you did. I was so afraid of rejection. Even when we both started dating, I had that tiny little voice inside my head saying that it wouldn’t last. That he loved you more. But he didn’t. He’s still with me, thankfully. The thing is: I tried anyway. I gave our relationship a shot. The worst that could happen was either getting a negative answer from him or not working out.”

“Must have been terrifying…”

“It was but that’s exactly my point: I was terrified but I still went for it. We lose so many times thinking « what if? » that we miss the chance to have something so good and be so happy. So please, LuHan, don’t to that, don’t deny yourself your happy ever after because of two little words put together.”

It made sense. Fear was really stopping him from having something he wanted: Junmyeon. But…what if Junmyeon would say no? He never realized he had spoken out loud until Baekhyun grabbed his hands in his own and started talking again.

“LuHan the «no» you have assured from the start. And that is the worst case scenario. But what if, since you like those two words so much, he says «yes»? What if he likes you back? If you never try, you’ll never know and then you live of a big «might have been». Just try it. You have nothing to lose!”

“What about my heart Baek? I don’t want to have a broken heart.”

“A broken heart can heal. If it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t. You move on and one day you’ll find prince charming. And if Junmeyon says no, I could always kick him and send Kyungsoo to torture him a bit.”

At Baekhyun’s playful tone, LuHan laughed hard. He could always count on his pint sized dongsaeng to improve his mood. He let Baekhyun play with his fingers before asking:

“Do you think Sehun is your prince charming?”

Baekhyun’s eyes dropped to his hands and a coy smile appeared on this lips. The sight before him was so cute that LuHan felt the urge to pinch his cheeks before he remembered that a manly man wouldn’t do that.

“I am not sure about him being a prince charming. He is more of a giant baby-puppy hybrid but, yeah, he is my happily ever after. I knew that from the moment he kissed me.” Baekhyun let a little sigh and his eyes glazed slightly, as if he was picturing the scene before him. “You know, I doubt myself a lot. I always find that I’m not good enough and it seems that are a multitude of voices in my head screaming exactly that. For a long time it has been like this and as much as I tried I couldn’t shut them up. But then, Sehun came and all the screaming turned into whispers. When he kissed me, they all stopped. Everything was peaceful and quiet. That’s when I knew.”

After hearing this honest declaration, LuHan felt honored. He knew that Baekhyun kept a lot of things bottled up inside and for him to show him this fragile, more sensitive side of him, meant a lot. He stopped Baekhyun’s fingers and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Thank you for sharing that with me. You are a wonderful person, Baekhyun, and an exceptional friend.”

Baekhyun stared at his hyung for a while, eyes watering slightly, before sniffing and adding in a playful tone.

“Does that mean you love me?”

“Of course I do little dongsaeng. I love you to the moon and back. Do you love me?” Asked LuHan, joining the little drama scene directed by Baekhyun.

“Of course I do hyung! I love you!”

“More than you love Sehun?”

“Sehun is nothing compared to you!”

They both cackled like maniacs before falling in a comfortable silence. LuHan didn’t even notice himself falling asleep.

Later on, when Sehun returned to the room, he found his boyfriend and his best friend, snuggled up to each other, sleeping peacefully. So he did what he thought it was best: he got himself carefully behind Baekhyun, cuddling up to his boyfriend, let a hand fell on top of his best friend’s hand and fell asleep too.

The thing is LuHan can’t seem to get a lucky week no matter how he tried. When he finally cleared his head enough and actively began to approach Junmyeon, Junmyeon starts to distance himself from him. More than that, he was being quite rude and cold too. Luhan was very confused. He hadn’t said anything to annoy the leader but the man couldn’t even stay in the same room as him. Once, in the practice room, Chanyeol and Jongin were goofing around, everyone was laughing and he had laid his hand on top of Junmyeon’s arm, the leader had literally grabbed his hand, shoved it away and proceeded to walk out of the room. The silence that followed that episode had been deafening.

After another talk with Baekhyun and Sehun (as they spent a lot of time with him, especially after the talk with Baekhyun, who had filled Sehun in about everything), he decided that enough was enough! Junmyeon had been acting quite rudely to him for a couple of weeks now and LuHan wanted answers for he was tired of crying over it and hurting.

He peeked into the living room and found the leader watching TV. It was the perfect time; none of the members were around: all of them were upstairs except for Jongdae and Minseok who had schedules.

“Junmyeon.” He called and nearly hit himself when his voice wavered. “Can we talk for a moment?”

“I have nothing to say to you.”

Wow! That was a slap in the face! Junmyeon hadn’t even looked at him.

“I have something to say to you, though.”

“Let’s clear something up, LuHan. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Why? What have I done to you?” LuHan was breathing deeply by now and he could swear he felt his eyes getting moister.

“Why? Why you ask?” Junmyeon cackled like an insane man, looking at him through crazy eyes. “Because I know your little secret, I know what you did. I actually thought you were a good person and I stood up for you. I tried to cheer you up because I couldn’t stand watching you sad and you were busy betraying your best friend behind his and our back.”

“What?” LuHan was flabbergasted. He didn’t seem to notice the other members rushing into the living room, alarmed by the increasing sound of Junmyeon's voice.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about! I know about you and Baekhyun. I saw you two.”

At the accusation LuHan felt himself growing angrier. Scratch that! He felt himself boiling.

“What did you saw? Tell me, I’m dying to know!” He spat, making Junmyeon falter slightly. “I want to know what you heard. You must have heard something! Like a little brave spy. You know nothing and yet, here you are making the most ludicrous accusations I’ve ever heard.”

“Ludicrous?! Are you going to tell me I didn’t heard all of the sweet «I love you» you were whispering to each other?”

“You did hear! That was the only thing you managed to get right! Too bad you missed the whole conversation before that. The one we covered my feelings towards you.” He could hear the gasps around him; Junmyeon himself had his mouth wide open. “Didn’t heard that one did you? At the moment, I am seriously wondering why we had it in the first place.”

Everybody stood in their places, absolutely frozen, when LuHan exited the living room.

“What was that Junmyeon?” Baekhyun was livid. The only thing holding him in place was his boyfriend warm hand on his lower back.

Junmyeon was at a loss of words. LuHan had just confessed to him.  Was it real? Did he dare to believe those words?

“LuHan likes me?”

“Are you deaf? He said it right to your face. I didn’t think that he would have the courage though. All that talk about being a manly man is just a bunch of…”

“Chanyeol, now is not the time for that!” Stated Sehun before lightly shoving Jongin. The boy had started to giggle like an idiot at his boyfriend’s words and it was stressing him out more than it should. This was a serious matter!

“Well, let me straight up this whole matter for everybody.” When Kyungsoo started speaking, Sehun shivered. It was time for Satan’s spawn speech! “Junmyeon you are a monumental douchebag. Period! Baekhyun and LuHan have nothing going on with each other. Mainly because Baekhyun workships the floor beneath Sehun’s feet but, especially, because LuHan likes you, which was such an obvious thing as a brick to the face. Next time, either you confront people, when your paranoid little mind gets delusional, or you play other games since you are the most horrible spy I’ve ever seen in my life. Now, move your jealous and go cry and grovel at LuHan’s feet. Your stupid little drama is disturbing my peace and I want it back.”

After the said «Satan’s spawn speech», as Sehun called it, Kyungsoo left the room.

“What now?” Asked Yixing trying to untangle Tao’s hands from his sweater. The other boy muttered «scary» over and over.

“Now, Junmyeon apologizes! Tao, could you please go and get LuHan?”

Tao nodded before leaving to find his LuHan-ge, dragging Yixing with him.

“You know I never had a thing with LuHan, don’t you?”

“I know Baekhyun. I just saw you both and I think I got jealous and…” Junmyeon didn’t finish his sentence, he simply let himself fall on the couch, hands covering his face.

No words where really needed anyways. Every person on the room understood that the leader had been simply jealous and overreacted.

“Baekhyuuun” Called Tao “LuHan-ge is not on the dorm. His shoes are missing!”

Chanyeol and Sehun grabbed Junmyeon’s arms when he stood up, probably ready to go after LuHan.

“Call LuHan” Advised Jongin to Baekhyun “He will answer his phone if it’s you.”

While Baekhyun was making the call, Jongin turned to his leader.

“I hope that when you do grovel, you do it good. If you said any of those things to me I would hang you by the ankles and leave you for all of the hungry sasaengs out there.”

“Not helping, Jongin!” Exclaimed Sehun and Chanyeol simultaneously.

Junmyeon didn’t even care. He just wanted LuHan next to him.

It had been hours and Junmyeon was still on the couch. His fellow members and friends had already gone to bed but he was waiting for LuHan.

After talking on the phone with LuHan, Baekhyun had informed them that the older boy was fine and he wasn’t coming to the dorms until later. He had been both relieved and worried. Relieved that his hyung was fine and worried because that meant that LuHan was extremely mad at him.

He sighed for the billionth time in the past hour. It was already three am and there he sat. He had a serious talk with Sehun and the maknae had been kind enough to explain him that what he saw had been a joke. At the end of their conversation he had stressed out that he should really apologize to LuHan and that, if he liked LuHan, to make a move.

He turned his head to the doorway and almost had a heart attack when he saw LuHan standing there.

“LuHan! You’re back.” LuHan, however, didn’t say anything and turned his back to Junmyeon.

Junmyeon stood up, in panic, and grabbed LuHan’s arm. When the boy didn’t turn to face him, he just went and hugged him from behind.

“No! No! Please don’t go! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I never meant to say those things to you but I just saw you there, saying those words to Baekhyun, and I felt angry. I felt angry that you were saying those words to him and not me. You and I had been spending so much time together these last weeks and I felt he was taking you away from me. And the biggest mistake was not talking about it with you and just…I’m sorry! I am! Forgive me! Please, please!”

Junmyeon felt LuHan sag into his embrace.

“These weeks have been tiring.”

The leader’s ears perked up at the sound of LuHan’s voice but he kept shut.

“I spent weeks trying to figure out this thing with you. My cravings for you! I wrecked my brain over just be sure of my feelings because I was truly scared of hurting you. Then you say these things to me. I feel that there are a hundred voices in my head screaming and making fun of me. I’m seriously thinking that I should move on. Will I ever get rid of all of this drama? I want my happily ever after but I don’t think it will happen."

When LuHan finally faced him, Junmyeon could see the tears that were threatening to fall from the other’s eyes. He carefully cradled his hyung’s face.

“I am sorry LuHan! I am sorry that I made you feel like this! Words are not enough to describe how much I regret saying them to you. You are a precious human being and I like you. I really do. Just give me a change. Give me just one chance to prove to you that I can be the happily ever after you have been waiting for.”

“Junmyeon…”

“Please, LuHan! Please! Just let me try one more time!”

LuHan looked into Junmyeon’s eyes. The tears were already streaming down his cheeks. He could see the regret, the want, the despair and a little twinkle that he didn’t dare to give a name. He was truly afraid of being hurt, especially after the cruel words Junmyeon had said to him, but he thought about his own self and how his mistakes had been forgiven. He had a second chance! Why couldn’t Junmyeon have his too? He remembered the conversation he had with Baekhyun about not letting his fears overpowering everything else, so he did the most logic thing: he kissed Junmyeon.

Junmyeon had been surprised but eager to join him. It wasn’t a sweet kiss at all: it was needy, desperate and passionate. And the thing that LuHan registered the most, while they were kissing, was the lack of taunting voices in his head. It was all quiet. He smiled.

“What are you smiling about?” Asked Junmyeon against his lips.

LuHan didn’t answer. He would tell Junmyeon later that he had found his happily ever after.

A/N: Hi everyone! I am back to bring you the sequel of my other story "Letting go".  Again I apologize for any error you find (warn me if that happens). This story was a request from the lovely exosarang who wanted to see Junmyeon and LuHan together and happy. Well, they got to the happy part eventually! That count right?! I hope you like the story! <3

A big hug to you all and have a lovely week!

WonderlandMinion