Tracklist;

Sandeul and Gongchan - Too Much

Exo - Miracles in December

Clazziquai Project - Take a Walk

Lim Kim - You Don't Even Know

~~~

Sometimes I get this urge to talk to you,

And then I remember that you are a different person now,

It`s just sad because I miss you a lot.

*Drip, Drip*

Rain hadn’t stopped pouring that night as she was standing by the bedroom window gazing outside. The sound of the drops falling harshly against the windowsill was nothing compared to her drumming heart. Her slim fingers were holding the hem of the curtains hung above the window. Her eyes lingered on the small path from the gate towards the house they shared.

Her gown, the night gown she was wearing was made of thin fabric. She was shivering from the cold but she wasn`t willing to get underneath the blanket, not before he had stepped inside the house. She wanted to make sure he had arrived safe and sound.

A sigh escaped her lips as her hands squeezed her arms tightly trying to hold onto the little warmth left in her body. She couldn’t believe that even now. Even after all of the suffering she had been through after he stepped in her life. She still loved him. She couldn’t stop loving him. At some point in her life she figured without him she was basically nothing.

While staring at the path made before her, her gaze became blurry. And her thoughts they wandered off. They began doing that a lot lately, all because their marriage had begun falling apart. They were falling apart. She couldn`t recognize the man she loved so much. It was as if he never existed anymore. All they did was arguing nowadays and it was wearing her out. She had become a sobbing mess, and him, a drunken fool. They lived under the same roof, but deep within they had their separate lives.

In her mind she went back to the day they married. How stunning he looked in his tuxedo waiting for her arrival. She wore the white traditional dress bought by her mother in law. It was the happiest day of her life, but still the saddest. After they had said their vows and said ‘I do’ she would live separately from her family. There would be no more small talking with her mother, no more sweet talking to her father and better yet, no more nagging on her younger brother. She would miss them dearly. But at the same time she could finally begin the first chapter of her life with the love of her life. And she knew he felt the exact same way. They were deeply in love with each other.

A low sarcastic giggle left her lips. Even if she was smiling on the outer side it stung her heart thinking that way. “We ‘were’ deeply in love. Not anymore, Jia” She kept on reminding herself. She still had the lovely feelings lingering inside her she just needed to search deeply in her heart. As for him, she had no clue if there were any feelings for her left at all.

The clock struck 3 in the morning and she had basically lost her patience by now. She was tired of waiting for someone who couldn’t care to return. What was the use? They or she couldn’t save this marriage. She was fighting the battles alone, while he couldn’t care less. He decided to put an act in front of their parents so they wouldn’t grow worried. But around her he could be the most obnoxious person on this planet. She never knew they would be encountering a problem like this. Even so, she was trying. Love couldn’t just vanish within a day could it? Theirs couldn’t. They had experienced too much together, it was impossible for them to forget all of that.

Her feet had turned sore from practically standing for 2 hours in a row. But there was this gut feeling that wouldn`t allow her to go to bed just yet. She had no idea what this feeling was trying to tell her, but the moment she had opened her eyes this morning, she had this odd feeling growing inside of her. She was anxious and her heart hadn`t stopped drumming throughout the whole day. She just wished it wasn’t something serious and her body was just reacting to her being tired.

But just when that thought her mind the sound of her phone ringing echoed in the empty house. Her head snapped towards her phone and she picked up immediately, her world just stopped then and there.

I`m hiding what I am feeling,

But I am tired of holding this inside my head

“Another one” He slurred with his face hidden behind his palms. Another day that turned to night and here he was again drinking away his pain. If he could he would drink away his thoughts too, but it was impossible. She was there permanently never wanting to leave. She was driving him insane, and he always blamed her for how he had become this day.

His once nicely ironed clothes were now wrinkled and stained with the beverage he was consuming. After his fourth glass he had lost control, not only of his state of mind, but his control of his body as well. By now he was too drained to even move an inch. His head was ducked, his shoulders slouched and his eyes were kept closed. Even then the bartender decided to pour him another glass; this was going to be the last one.

He groaned under his breath hearing the liquid getting poured inside his glass, and he focused on the now half full glass. He blinked slowly and reached out to the glass consuming the drink within seconds before slamming the glass on the table yet again. At this point even he knew enough was enough; he needed to rest.

He closed his eyes and rested his head on the wooden table. But every time he closed his hazel eyes her images would haunt him. There she was sitting on the edge of the bed crying her heart out. There she was screaming at him for being stupid, for being oblivious and for being blind. And there she was again smiling at him early in the morning acting like their fight never took place the day before. He was growing tired both physically and emotionally.

Even if a part of him still loved her dearly he was still unsure what to believe or feel anymore. Was he being a lousy husband? Was he giving up too fast? Was he not seeing this situation from both sides? All of those questions had been haunting him lately, and he wanted to put an end to this. He remembered the words that had been spoken to him once;

‘Love is weakest when there is more doubt than trust’

That was exactly how he was feeling right now. He was feeling as if he was on a ship where there was no way out other than it sinking. If he was only going to take her down with him what was the use? What was he supposed to fight for then? All he felt nowadays was emptiness, which she clearly didn’t understand. Neither of them understood each other, they had become total strangers within a day.

His trembling hand reached out for the wallet tucked inside his pocket. He opened the brown leathered item which was bought to him by his wife. His name engraved on the inside. “Luhan” He whispered lowly, his thumb tracing out each letter. And there, there he noticed her picture. On that picture he saw her famous smile, that same smile that made him fall in love with her. He barely saw her smiling nowadays others than when they needed to pretend that they were happy. They were a great team when they needed to fool others, and basically each other. Others than that they barely cooperated, they didn`t function like other couples would. He believed it was sad how they turned out this way.

A dark shadow fell upon him and his sloppy eyes met the bartenders. “I am sorry, sir. But you’re not allowed to sleep here. I suggest you go home” He bowed in 90 degrees before turning on his heels and walked away. He let out a snort thinking it was rather rude of them to kick out a drunken person like this. But being as tired as he was he decided to get up and walk over to the door with his wobbly steps.

Once he stepped out of the bar the fresh air didn`t seem to fail on him. It felt so nice to feel the wind his face and the rain was even better. He felt so refreshed. His eyes took in the once blue sky that had now turned black. The stars were shining brightly up there complementing the dark sky as the raindrops were aiming directly at him. The sight brought some sort of peace upon him. His uneasy heart stopped beating so hard against his chest, and his trembling hands found their control on their own.

From the corner of his eyes he noticed his car parked only a few feet away from him. He cleared his throat and spotted the time striking nearly 3 in the morning. While ruffling his hair he took rather unsteady steps towards his car only to meet with a crowd of youngsters. They were being loud and rude as they ignored the older man heading their way. When they crossed paths they shoved and pushed his shoulders on purpose making him stumble backwards and hit the ground.

The moment he fell he sneered loudly not liking the treatment he had received from the younger ones. He got on his feet quite slowly and by the time he turned around to let them get a piece of his mind they were already out of sight. He grunted and patted his pants being rather annoyed for delaying things. But with a shrug and a curse leaving his lips he decided to get inside his car and head home instead, which he did.

He got behind the steering wheel and the engine was right after. He wasn’t functioning like he should have when he was sitting behind the steering wheel. But even so he took the chance and pressed his foot on the paddle and of he went. But he didn`t make it far before a car collided with his.

At some point you have to realize,

That some people can stay in your heart,

But not in your life.

She ran through the corridors like she had never done before. Her heart almost burst out of her chest, her breathing quickening with each step and her body jolting from the small shocks it kept on receiving.

This was it? This was his last goodbye? This was how their journey was going to end? They hadn’t even exchanged any words of goodbye, neither had they been able to express their love for the other. This couldn’t end like this; this wasn’t how they had planned it. They had fantasized about building a happy family together. The son would play soccer with his father, and the daughter would go to ballerina practice with her mother. The boy would have her eyes and the girl would have his smile. He couldn’t leave like this he just couldn’t.

“Lu Han!” She blurted out his name the moment her hands pressed against the receptionist’s desk and she blinked seeing the lady hovering over her. Her tears continued rolling down her cheeks, her eyes droopy from lake of sleep, her coat was open due to stress and even though she was wearing her gown, the coldness was nothing compared to her frightened heart.

“He’s in the emergency room” She clarified after looking through the database on her computer and Jia darted towards the emergency department knowing well she wasn’t allowed inside. But the feeling of being nearby would probably lift a small burden off her chest. But she couldn’t have been more wrong. The moment she stood before the two huge white doors and the light above them was blinking red her body stopped functioning. She collapsed right then and there. She knew he was inside that room fighting for his life, unconscious after the accident. All she wished for was for him to fight back and be stubborn enough to win this battle. Whatever they had been arguing about, it didn’t matter anymore. She just wanted him alive.

A pair of arms tucked around her small fragile frame and helped her get up. She leaned her body against this person while loud sobs left her lips. She was grateful someone decided to help her during her most vulnerable time, and she wasn’t surprised when she noticed who it was. The moment she was placed on the empty chair placed by the doors she stared at the male gazing back at her with pity. “He’ll be alright” He comforted her and she closed her eyes wishing what he said would come true.

Sometimes we just have to deal with the fact,

That life doesn`t always go our way

Luhan’s eyes opened and with a few blink with his eyes he shifted his gaze from left to right. It was too dark to get up and head for work, and he was right when he saw the time. It was 4 in the morning and he still had 2 more hours to sleep. A quick change of his position in bed he was met with the space where usually she would lie, being empty. He growled and sat up in bed only to realize he was in his clothes from the previous day. He believed it was a miracle how he wasn’t suffering from a bad hangover after yesterday’s drinking. He rubbed his eye with his hand and threw the blanket off his body.

He knew Jia was probably busy just sitting in the living room staring in the air being in deep thoughts. She always was during the times she couldn’t fall asleep. Even if he didn’t care so much about her lately, he still felt bad enough for making her wait till late that night. She was probably mad at him for coming home late without informing her about his whereabouts. It was a coward move made by him, he knew that. He should have confronted her with the problem a long time ago and ended everything already just like he had planned.

That’s when it struck him. The divorce papers, she couldn’t have seen them could she? From drinking way too much the day before he could barely remember what he did the moment he came home. Did he hand her the divorce papers and she bailed out of the house after throwing her tantrum? Or did he leave the divorce papers on the coffee table and she spotted them later on? Everything was a blur to him which made the situation worse.

With every step he went closer to the living room. He was expecting the worst, but to his dismay the living room was completely empty. He furrowed his brows and perked up his ears. She was probably in the bathroom. He changed his tracks and headed for the bathroom only to notice it empty and the light being turned off. “She really did…leave” He mumbled under his breath trying to recall yesterday’s activities. “Did I actually confront her?” He pressed his palm against his forehead trying his best to make the memories come back to him, but the results weren’t positive.

A grey fog appeared in the middle of the hallway. Luhan’s eyes furrowed seeing a taller male staring directly at him with his piercing eyes. His hair dyed black working well with his all black attire. Luhan took a step back being rather confused and mostly frightened by this person appearing out of fog. His trembling legs continued helping him stepping away from the taller figure, but he only stared back at him with his hollow eyes.

“Where are you planning on running?” The man questioned with his brow arching. Luhan only gulped in response about to turn on his heels making a run for it, but the fog appeared right in front of him and the man was there gazing straight into his eyes. “Without me, there’s no you” He smirked and Luhan jumped backwards from fear, his eyes rounding and his nostrils flaring.

“W-what do you w-want? W-who are you?” Luhan tried maintaining his cool, but this person could sense and see that he was awfully frightened. Frightened for his life, how ironic he thought. With a snap of his fingers the both of them were inside the ER. Luhan’s eyes darted from left to right seeing the surgeon getting several equipment’s from the nurses, as a male was wiping away his sweat from his forehead.

Luhan was still on the ground staring up at the man who appeared out of nowhere inside his house, and the same male who took him to this place. He walked away from the fallen Luhan and leaned over the surgeon’s shoulder only to gaze back at him. With his hand he motioned Luhan to get up and see who was lying on the bed.

He was too confused to get the message right away. Too much was happening at once he couldn’t comprehend whether he was dreaming or if this was reality. With his shaking legs he managed to get up from his spot, his hands wiping against his pants. One step after the other he neared the bed and the male stepped away with a smile tugging on his lips. Luhan stared intensely at him at first, only to change his gaze over to the body lying on the bed.

His focused stare changed dramatically. He gasped loudly and for a moment there he was afraid the several other people would hear him so he covered his mouth. What a ridiculous move to make. The man on the bed, with the oxygen mask, who was injured and cut in half was no other than himself. He snapped his head over to the man in black. He was leaning against the nearest wall, one of his feet resting against the wall as well, with his arms crossed.

With a second snap of his fingers they were at the scene. Luhan’s car was crashed and smothered. Police were at the scene searching through his car and the other person’s vehicle as well. While some of the security guards were trying to calm down the several people surrounding the scene. Luhan who was standing beside this man in black, fell on the wet ground. The rain hadn’t stopped ever since he left the bar and