Six | Two Different Pages

Pastel Heart: The Sixth Chapter

 

Sehun fought his urge to retort at Suin as he ended up burying his face in his pillow instead. “What are you gonna do then?” he asked, his voice muffled as it was mainly absorbed by the pillow. “Are you gonna creep on him?”

Suin chuckled, and Sehun felt a stab in his heart for knowing how cynical it sounded. He could already feel how he was slowly having a hard to time to breathe, yet he refused to look up from his pillow. The heat was already surrounding his face, and Sehun buried his face in the deeper without a reason.

“I don’t need to trail after a person like him,” Suin answered as she made her finishing touch on the painting. A few flicks here and there, and the addition of several colours, Suin could finally see the resemblance between her painting and Jongdae. It had been a long time since the last time she was amazed by her own painting, and it had truly been so long since the last time she had managed to actually re-observe the details in her painting. 

Sehun groaned in response and Suin just smiled when she heard it. Sometimes, she felt amazed by Sehun, too.

Sehun finally pulled his face away from the pillow and the first thing that he did was breathing rapidly. He tried to inhale as much as oxygen as he could to make up for the time when he was panting to breathe. When he was calm enough, he glanced at Suin who staring at her own painting. Sehun’s heart was burning when he remembered how Suin dubbed Jongdae as a disaster. It was an insult, from Sehun’s point of view, especially when he had witnessed the pain in Jongdae’s eyes. It’s just not right for somebody to have their miseries to be seen as an entertainment.

“It would be nice if you stop painting him,” Sehun said, “because it’s really disrespectful.”

Suin turned her body to face Sehun, and her eyes narrowed. “And why is that? Because he’s dying?”

“Stop saying things like that,” Sehun replied angrily. There was something in his mind, alerting him to retreat and just play it cool, but his emotion was too intense to be manipulated by his own mind. The sadness and anger in him were taking the lead, and Sehun, although he was too consumed by the emotions, could actually still feel the rationality in him. Maybe that was why he looked away from Suin’s painting and directed his eyes at the pure, white wall instead. It was like an auto-pilot mode, which allowed him to remind himself of the setting in his own mind.

From the corner of his eyes, he glanced at Suin’s back which was facing him. Sehun could only see the short hair of Suin being tied into a ponytail and how she casually put her sweater on her shoulders without putting her arms through its sleeve. Sehun was starting to regret his choice of showing his feelings when he found himself being frustrated as he couldn’t see Suin’s expression. He wondered if he had broken the girl even more.

“I’m leaving,” Suin said monotonously before she put her hands inside the pocket of her sweater. “And Sehun,” she stopped mid-way before she reached the front door, “I’m not gonna tell my mom about that, so just pretend like it never happened,” she stopped, but the way her chest moved was saying that there’s more to be said. “I can take care of myself.”

She closed the door softly, but that didn’t mean that Sehun wasn’t feeling less miserable. He was, in fact, worried.

Suin, on the other hand, was strolling along the hospital’s corridor. Her hands were still put inside the comfortable pockets of her sweater, and she wasn’t planning on taking them out soon. She really couldn’t bear to endure how her fingers were always numb due to the cold, and it was too frustrating to move her brush using her fingers when she felt like her bones weren’t functioning at all. Most of the times when she was in that kind of situation, she would just abandon her painting equipments and isolate herself in her room. She couldn’t bring herself to face the pressure of the difficulties in making her paintings, because she was Park Suin; she had always had it easy with her painting. So when the table was turned, it was not that questionable as to why she was really stressed out.

But it was pushing her off the edge as well when she couldn’t pour the images in her mind onto the blank piece of canvas. She thought of Sehun’s face, and she recalled how she almost lost her control in that room back then. She couldn’t do that, unless she wanted the purpose of her being confined in this hospital going to an utter waste.

“Excuse me.”

Suin slowly lifted her face which was staring at the ground to meet a man who had a camera in his hand and a recorder on his another hand.

Suin smiled while looking straight into the man’s eyes, “May I help you?”

The man transferred the recorder to another hand, making a single hand to support two loads. He then shoved his hand inside his pocket to show a card that told Suin that he was a reporter. “I came here for an interview with you, Miss Park.”

Suin was annoyed and she felt the itchiness on her lips to just blurt everything out, but she maintained her composure. Her public image was not supposed to be tainted by her indecent words. “I’m so sorry-“she looked at the man’s nametag, “- Mister Jung, but my manager doesn’t allow me to hold an interview. You’re advised to talk to my manager – Madam Park – before you approach me.”

The man – Mister Jung – smiled, “But I can take it that you have free times now, Miss Park? It wouldn’t hurt to hold a short interview, and the questions are very simple.” The man didn’t give up on persuading Suin although he had clearly been given an indirect, but clear declination.

“Once again, I’m so sorry, but that would violate the restriction that had been set up for me.”

“Is it true that you’re here for another purpose?”

Suin went silent, and her feigned composure was slowly fading. She stared at the reporter and witnessed how joyful the man was to receive such an arguable, yet clearly a hit-close-to-home reaction.

Her stare towards the reporter was calm, yet it was saying that Suin didn’t appreciate the thrown question. She forced herself to give a thin smile, “That’s false.”

She was taking her leave when the man aggressively grabbed her wrist, the one that was reported to be the reason of why she was admitted to the hospital. Suin’s mom had managed to create a story about Suin’s wrist being twisted, and considering that it was one of the most important body parts for Suin, Mistress Park had managed to use that fact to manipulate the news. But there was always somebody who managed to break the code.

“Your wrist,” the man held it tighter, “seems fine.”

Suin squirmed, and she struggled to pull her wrist back without making a scene. She lingered her eyes around the ground floor, and she was relieved to see that the other people were still absorbed in their own business. 

“Mister Jung,” she said, now her sweet and calm had disappeared. She glared at the recorder in the man’s hand, for she knew that the man was probably sly enough to record their conversation. Suin really needed to watch her words, and that’s why she said, “If you’re a gentleman, please let go of my wrist.”

That didn’t seem to do the trick, though, because the man was still keeping his grasp on Suin’s wrist. “It’s strange to see that you don’t feel much pain, although I’m squeezing you wrist real hard,” a mocking chuckle came, and the man continued speaking, “it makes me wonder if the rumour about you is true.”

Suin snorted mentally before she replied, “Sometimes people are just that good with hiding their pain,” she said as she strived to pull her hand away from the man’s grip, “and I just happen to be one of them.”

Out of the blue, a man suddenly appeared and accidentally knocked down the camera in the reporter’s hand. The camera fell down, and it was only lucky for the man that he succeeded to catch it before it touched the ground. But in return, his recorder fell on the ground instead. The recorder broke, and although it was obvious that the reporter had lost something important, Suin was more interested to look at the reckless man who had managed to bump into the reporter instead. 

“I’m sorry,” the reckless male said, but it didn’t sound apologetic at all. Instead, it sounded low and monotone, causing Suin to be more interested. The male just stood there, staring at the reporter who was busy mourning over the loss of his recorder and Suin only managed to curve a genuine smile on her face when she saw how the male was behaving.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” Suin blurted out while observing Jongdae’s face. She noticed that his robe was slightly wrinkled, and his hair was a bit dishevelled; a complete turn from his neat look before. Suin wondered if the news had eaten him too quickly. “Are you here for another can of coffee?”

Jongdae sighed at Suin, and his mind was now completely shifted to answer the girl’s question. The furious reporter was long forgotten. “I am.”

“It’s your second can of the day, isn’t it too much?”

“I need something to distract my mind,” Jongdae answered, and that made Suin smile.

Jongdae headed towards the vending machine, and Suin was about to walk towards the machine too if it wasn’t for somebody grabbing her arm.  She looked back, annoyed and surprised at the same time, to find the angry reporter holding his broken recorder in his hand. It was obvious that he wanted a payback.

“We haven’t finished talking,” the man spat out.

Suin decided that nobody will really care if an old man like him were to be harassed so she said, “We weren’t even talking at the first place, old man. Mind your place.” She stamped on the man’s foot – which caused the man to bit back his tongue to prevent himself from yelling – before she snatched her arm away from the man and walked quickly towards the vending machine.

“You chose the sweet one,” Suin stated as her eyes followed Jongdae’s index finger, which was pressing the coffee brand’s button. She grinned when there wasn’t any respond regarding her remark, so she continued speaking, “I’m gonna cut the chase and be straightforward with you,” she said, and that sentence actually managed to catch Jongdae’s attention. He picked the coffee can which just dropped before he slowly got up. His eyes were staring at Suin as his right hand was holding the coffee can. “I’m interested on you.”

Jongdae clearly took his time on replying to Suin’s statement, since he managed to open his coffee can before he took a sip. His eyes weren’t even looking at Suin as if he hadn’t heard anything. Suddenly, his eyes darted back to Suin, “I’m not sure if I’m in the mood to talk now.”

Suin snorted loudly, enough to show how displeased she was, “I’m amazed by your change of attitude, Chen.”

Jongdae stopped drinking his coffee, and he lowered down his can before he said, “It’s Kim Jongdae now.”

“Alright, Jongdae,” Suin said while showing clearly how amused she was. It was as if she was watching the live version of her painting, and it was refreshing for her in a way. “I wonder how could somebody who was being really careful in front of me before is now behaving recklessly,” Suin said, “and it is somehow rude. Is dying really too much for you?”

Jongdae sighed, “Miss Park-“

“Suin,” she corrected, “since I figured out that you don’t really need to put up the pretence anymore,” she said while staring cynically at Jongdae. “Don’t ask, I have the experience.”

“Suin,” Jongdae said, “it seems like you’ve figured me out so I don’t really think that I need to enlighten you anymore.”

“You’re right; you’re too easy to be figured out,” Suin folded her arms while resting her back against the wall. “You’re really a disaster.”

Jongdae went silent for a while before he spoke, “You’re the first one to say that out loud.”

Suin lifted an eyebrow, “So you weren’t aware before? That you have nothing too great about you?”

Jongdae must be lying if he said that he wasn’t feeling bitter when Suin directed those words towards him, but he was willing to swallow those words. He couldn’t see any good outcome from involving himself in a scene with Suin. He really wanted to live the last of his life in nonchalance instead of probably having to shield himself from the smearing campaign from Suin’s party if they were ever to be involved in any fight.

“It’s the denial from the people around me, I guess,” Jongdae replied. “But even their denial couldn’t save my life now.”

“I was right,” Suin spoke to herself, and Jongdae managed to catch her words. “You really are beautiful yet disastrous, and that’s why I’m interested on you. Such a corrupted and contaminated mind, and I couldn’t overlook that.” Suin smiled, “I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a compliment, but I guess that you finally mean something to someone now, Kim Jongdae.”

 

 

Author’s Corner

Ah I finished writing this chapter at two in the morning, so imagine how dizzy I felt when I woke that morning (around 11 am, to be exact). I’m lucky that I’m in my year-end break, if not I would’ve collapsed at school lol.

I feel like Suin’s kinda.... mean? I feel like I’ve messed up the flow of this story lmao. Please give me your criticisms guys or else I’m forever gonna have a ty writing otl.

Words count: 2.294 K

Written on 11^th November 2014