This is a story of a two young people in high school who are trying to learn what love actually is, destroying each other in process. You were naive and cruel, and I was lost and I wanted you to love me. I wanted to be consumed by more than my own destruction. I wanted to feel sparks, not blades. I wanted to feel love, not hate. I used you just as much as you used me. The year is melting away, and I keep moving forward. Sometimes I sit alone under the stars and think of the galaxies inside my heart and truly wonder if anyone will ever want to make sense of all that I am?

         It was 3 AM when you woke me up, you took my hand and we walked  as far as we could go,  just to get away. We talked about our lives and us, until the sun came up. And now I'm thinking about how I wish I could go back, just for one more day.

Now I'm sitting here, like we used to do, and I think about my life and how I want you to remember me when the sky is a dark hue of melancholy and anger all at once. Let me be your storms that calm your shivering bones and agitate your already thundering heart. Remember me when the wind breezes between the spaces your fingers, when you feel like you hear the  whisper of my voice on your skin, when the noise around you becomes overwhelming and you need a room to breathe. Sometimes I want to be your shallow or deep inhales,  your overplayed favourite songs, and sometimes I curse myself for still thinking about you.

***

I remember that night like it was yesterday.
She stared at the stars like they were pillow for her mind and in their light she could rest her heavy head. She wrote things with her movements that I could never write with a pen in my whole life. She lived with hurricane in her eyes and fell in love with the way the waves of snow collapsed against her cheeks.

'Are you cold?' I asked her. She looked at me all confused, with eyes full of shine, as if the stars mirrored themselves in her irises. Then she laughed,  so loudly and truly, that I started laughing even though I had no idea what was so funny. That night I fell in love with her.

One week later, she called me all upset and she kept repeating herself how she can't believe this is happening to her. I didn't know what to say, how to comfort her. Next evening, I called her at 3AM and told her it's better for her to not be sleeping because it's time to taste adventures. That night I fell in love with her. Two months later, we were nearing the end. I admit, I was afraid to love. Not just love, but to love her. Loving her was breathing in her existence. I have googled 'how long does heartbreak last?' The result more popular than that was 'how long does heartburn last?' This implies people suffer from heartburn more than they do heartbreak which is a good thing because heartbreak way ing more than acid reflux ever could.

Once she told me she felt like a passenger in every city. On the day of our breakup, I could feel her breathing through the holes in me. In the end, we were just people drunk on idea that love, only love, can cure our transience.