"Lim Jaehee! Will you go out with me?"

 

I stared at Chanyeol, my mouth agape in shock. Not only could I not believe that he had asked me out in front of the entire student body, but I couldn't believe he was actually asking me out.

 

I couldn't find the words to reply so instead I nodded, earning a wide goofy grin.

 

He stood up and gave me a light hug and immediately I knew something was wrong. This memory wasn't right. When I had nodded he hadn't hugged me. He had run a lap around the school, throwing petals at everyone. I knew because it had been one of the most memorable days of my life.

 

I drew back from Chanyeol, trying to look into his face. My hands fell from him immediately and he slumped onto the ground, pale and cold. I screamed, cupping his face and shaking him vigorously but he wasn't moving. He wasn't doing anything.

 

 

 

"Jaehee! Wake up!" A voice screamed, ending the nightmare.

 

The girl woke up in disillusion, immediately searching for Chanyeol. A weight dropped off her shoulders as she saw his figure, his chest moving as air pumped into him. He was still hanging in there.

 

"Is it getting any better?" Sehun asked, taking the seat beside the girl.

 

One of the boys were always there in the mornings. Usually Jaehee tried to wake up before they arrived so they didn't have to see her in this state but she knew they had caught on when they started arriving extra early. Jaehee also knew they took turns in visiting in the morning because, like Baekhyun, they felt a need to watch over her in their friend's place.  She was thankful to them but she hated the feeling that they felt it was a duty. She didn't want to be anyone's burden.

 

She nodded even though it was a lie. The nightmares were only getting harder to deal with and even then nurses were beginning to worry that it would develop into insomnia.

 

Sehun nodded, probably not convinced, and handed her a cup of tea.

 

She shook her head as per usual and reached for Chanyeol's hand. She hated anything bought or brewed from the hospital. It all tasted the same to her and the only way to describe it would be...the taste of hospital.

 

He set the cup down, already expecting that response and produced another cup he had bought from a café on the way to the hospital. He shone her his knowing smirk and she finally graced him with a smile, gratefully accepting the cup.

 

"You know Jaehee no one is going to hate you if you-"

 

"Don't." She interrupted, "I know you're saying that for my sake but please...just not while he's here." She winced, squeezing his hand softly.

 

Sehun sighed before placing her uniform on the bed beside Chanyeol's legs.

 

"Go change. I'll wait with him."

 

 

 

 

Jaehee didn't forget to remind Chanyeol that she'd be back before meeting Sehun outside the ward. She slung her bag over her back, falling in step beside him as she headed down the corridor.

 

"Jae, It's been almost 6 months. We're all still praying he'll wake up but you can't do this to yourself. No ones going to hate you if you move on in life. Don't ruin your life because of him...it would kill him."

 

Jaehee whimpered internally. She hated it whey said things like that even if it was merely an expression. As if he wasn't dead enough as it was. "Sehun...how can I abandon him? We've been together for 4 years. His father is more than happy to keep the life support for as long as needed and I'm finally back at school and my grades are back in the top 20. What more must I do?"

 

Sehun smiled softly, "I know. I just want you to know that if its getting too hard...it's an option."

 

Jaehee nodded but she couldn't bring herself to smile. The amount of times people had told her it was alright to move on was too many to count but they were all shallow words. She was trapped. She couldn't leave him whether she wanted to or not. It was just a consequence she had to suffer even if, as they'd repeated on numerous occasions, 'it wasn't her fault'.

 

Luhan watched as the girl headed into the elevator with the blonde-haired boy. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop but he headed to drop Nam at school when he happened to hear something that caught his attention. He stared at the girl for a moment, disbelief in his eyes but it soon faded into sympathy. He knew exactly how she felt.

 

 

 

 

"Everybody listening! There's only 5 months until you bunch are graduating so you need to start getting your act together!" The teacher screamed, only earning a few lazy glares.

 

Mihye, who also happened to be class president now after Jaehee had given up the title, stood up and headed to the front of the classroom. For once, the class finally looked to the front.

 

"I'd like to announce the annual senior sports festival. We'll be divided into teams based on a draw so make sure you're all present tomorrow."

 

The class erupted into cheers. Jaehee's grade were especially were fond of athletics and the Senior sports festival was always a huge scaled event in the school.  Mina nudged Jaehee suggestively and she chuckled. Jaehee was known for her track record. She held the school record for women's running and hurdles but that was mostly because she had been a chubby child so her parents had sent her to so many athletics clubs and she had grown up to be good at sports.

 

She cast her eyes downward. She didn't want to participate in the festival. It just wouldn't be right without Chanyeol. He had always been so excited when it came to festivals and even thought he wasn't the most gifted in sports, he was always the most enthusiastic. His cheers for Jaehee could be heard from miles away and that was always what spurred her on.

 

The girl felt another nudge from her side and looked up, realising that Mihye had returned. "You're participating right?"

 

Sometimes she felt like no one was giving her the time she needed to come to terms with everything that happened. Nevertheless she ignored the sudden pressure on her shoulders and bit her lip before plastering on a huge grin, "Of course." She didn't need anyone else suspecting that she was depressed. She received enough probing as it was and besides, she knew Chanyeol would be enraged if he found out she wasn't participating.

 

 

 

Baekhyun couldn't come to the hospital today either because he had another event. Jaehee brushed it off like she didn't mind but she knew she was beginning to get a bit claustrophobic in the hospital. It didn't help that she spent majority of her time talking to an unconscious boy. It always made her question her sanity but the nurses had told her there was a chance that he could hear her so she didn't stop.

 

When it was time for her usual walk around the unit, she heard a knock on the door to Chanyeol's ward. It was odd because she knew it was past visiting hours so it couldn't have been the boys or her friends and nurses rarely knocked before entering. Her eyes whipped towards the door, rounding in recognition of the red haired boy from yesterday.

 

"Want to take a walk?" He chuckled, holding out his arm in a bent shape that gestured for her to hook her own through it.

 

She gave a troubled glance towards Chanyeol but the boy noticed, "Don't worry Mr Park. I assure you I won't try anything on your woman." He assured after looking onto the name post.

 

Jaehee couldn't help but laugh under her breath and finally succumbed into the red haired boy's friendliness. She didn't take his arm but she walked beside him.

 

"6 months huh?"

 

She didn't bother asking how he knew. She'd heard enough to know better than to question his sources.

 

"Yeah."

 

"Hey don't look so dull. It could be worse."

 

"Like you?"

 

His steps halted before finding its usual bounced one more, "Yeah. Like me."

 

Jaehee opened to ask more but he seemed to already figure out where the conversation was headed, "11 and a half months. Just under a year. I have it worse." He laughed, trying to bring light to the situation, "but I don't think anyone can be 'worse' off in this unit. Everyone has it pretty bad."

 

"So who is it?" She finally asked, unable to contain the curiosity.

 

He looked at her, his eyes sparkling with longing, "My girlfriend."

 

It was like someone had just the air out of Jaehee. She couldn't believe the irony. She'd found someone like her. She didn't say she was sorry to hear that because in truth, she wasn't. She did feel sympathy for him but who was she to offer it when she was in the same boat.

 

The boy offered her a wry smile before turning the corner, reminding her that they'd reached the end of the corridor. "Would you like to meet her?"

 

Jaehee didn't say anything and allowed the silence to answer for her. He took the hint and gestured towards a ward on the left hand side. She read the number 85 on the door before quietly walking into the room. The first thing she noticed was that the room was filled with lavender. It smelled like lavender, the walls had lavender wallpaper and there was a fresh bunch of lavenders on the bedside table. It was clear they had been in the ward for a long time.

 

Her eyes trailed over to the bed. The girl looked like a doll with her hair sprawled lazily across the pillow- it was clear that someone had been playing with it, and porcelain skin with her large eyes bulging from behind the closed eyelids. She was gorgeous but so obviously vacant but it added to the doll appeal.

 

"What's her name?" Jaehee asked in a hushed voice. She wasn't sure why she felt like she had to be quiet. It was like she was afraid speaking loudly would wake the princess from her slumber.

 

"Lavender." He grinned, like it was an internal joke. She stared up at the walls, suddenly feeling like the joke wasn't so internal. "Her little brother's name is Namwoo [A/N: means tree] so I guess you can say her parents have a thing for nature."

 

"She's pretty." Jaehee smiled, walking towards the girl. The red haired boy didn't say anything and stood at the door, watching her actions. She stood beside the girl's waist and put a hand on the girl's limp one. The feeling of the cold against her skin felt so familiar now. "You have a pretty name Lavender. For some reason I feel like it really suits you. I hope you'll wake up soon." She whispered, feeling like she was talking to Chanyeol more than the girl.

 

"Luhan hyung! I'm back!" A little boy exclaimed loudly as he waltzed into the room. He had his chest puffed out to tell everyone he'd accomplished something good. His eyes connected with Jaehee's and he immediately raised a finger to her, "Oh! Snow white Noona!"

 

There was a prolonged silence that wafted through the room.

 

The little boy who Jaehee remembered as Nam seemed to understand she needed an explanation because he defended his outburst, "Luhan hyung always calls Noona Snow white because you're always surrounded by dwarves."

 

Jaehee looked at the red-haired boy, who she'd only now realised was known as Luhan, and snickered behind her fist. Dwarves? Someone she felt like that was directed at Baekhyun. She knew how the boys would react if they ever heard that. Suho and Kyungsoo would be furious.

 

Luhan felt his ears burn bright red and quickly covered the younger's pie hole, playfully scolding him before taking him into a choke hold. "You little brat! Always dobbing on me!"

 

"Well Luhan, I'd like to assure you both that my Prince Charming is, in fact, very tall."

 

Luhan snorted but she smiled good naturedly. Her eyes flitted to her phone and she immediately paled. She'd left Chanyeol for so long because she'd been enjoying her time with Luhan. A pang of guilt washed over her so she excused herself and headed back to his ward. Chanyeol was still lying motionless, in the same state she had left him. It brought a sigh from her but nevertheless she took her usual spot by his bed and rubbed over his palm.

 

 

 

The next morning it had been  Kai who had woken her from her sleep. They'd headed out to get a breakfast bagel before school and for some reason Jaehee was in an oddly good mood.

 

"Someone's happy today." Kai raised a brow, biting into his bagel. "You weren't screaming today. Are the nightmares getting more bearable?"

 

Jaehee blinked. She'd completely forgotten about her nightmares. They'd been continuous for 6 months so why hadn't she had one last night? "I didn't...have one." She replied after a moment's hesitation.

 

Kai stopped, surprised by the news. "Not that I'm not glad but why so suddenly?"

 

She chewed on her lip unsurely. Did that mean good news? She didn't want to get her hopes up too high but she couldn't erase her giddy smile. Something good was going to happen today. She was just hoping that it had to do with Chanyeol.

 

 

 

 

Jaehee had signed up for all the events she was eligible for- 100m sprint, 200m sprint, 800m run, 100m hurdles and the relay. To add to her good mood she'd been placed on the black team and black had always been Chanyeol's favourite colour despite the amount of times she had tried to tell him that it wasn't technically a colour.

 

She felt the sudden urge to win all her events. For Chanyeol.

 

"God look how happy the black team is!" Mina whined. She was on the white team and Mihye was on the grey team. Odd how there was only three teams and they had the fate of being completely separated.

 

"Yeah of course they're happy. No one expected Jae to be competing but now that she's in 5 events they're bound to win." Mihye quipped making Jaehee grin.

 

The three of them split to meet with their teams to elect the sports captains. Chanyeol had often joked about being the sports captain. He had said that they would be the perfect captains together. Jaehee swallowed the lump that had formed from all the nostalgia and headed to the teachers lounge where her team had gathered.

 

She was glad to see Baekhyun and Sehun who both waved her over. She had to admit she'd become a bit of a loner after the accident. She just found it a lot more difficult to talk to people so she was glad she had Chanyeol's friends. It extended her circle from the twins.

 

Jaehee sat on Sehun's side and idly fiddled with her nails as the teacher informed them of how the election would work. The teacher began calling names of the students who had been nominated for the girls category. Honestly, Jaehee hadn't even known that the nominations had started. She was just praying no one had nominated her.

 

Unfortunately that wasn't the case.

 

"And Lim Jaehee."

 

She stood up at the sound of her name and immediately all eyes followed her as she joined the line. Jaehee knew it hadn't been any of her friends that had nominated her because they were all aware that she wouldn't be up for it but she didn't want the grade to remember her as the mope-y kid.  Managing a bright smile, Jaehee looked towards the teacher waiting to hear the candidates for the male representative.

 

She wasn't surprised when both Sehun and Baekhyun were nominated. All of Chanyeol's friends were rather popular so it wasn't something out of the norm.

 

"You okay with being a candidate?" Baekhyun asked as they left the room.

 

Jaehee softly smiled, "Yeah. I made the resolve that I was going to do this for Chanyeol so a little more responsibility won't hurt."

 

He grinned down at her and messed her hair. She frowned, wishing he'd stop choosing that as his mode of affection but the irritation was short lasted. 

 

The girl hugged her locket pendant between her thumb and index finger like it held the portal to Chanyeol. For you Chanyeol.

 

 

 

---

Authors note:
It's 1am and I just finished a horror movie. Guess I'm not going to sleep tonight ahaha
Thank you to Hoboprincess & sunfftu for upvoting <3