Her fingers trace along the silhouette of his shoulder, curling up closer to him to feel his warmth radiating from his body. She remembers what this feeling was, but it wasn’t okay to feel it anymore. Their relationship ended many nights ago, with angry words and painful sobs. She shouldn’t have called him like she did, asking for a moment to remember what they had given up. But in the back of her mind she knew that he never gave up that love, she did and he wanted her to give it a second chance. That was his reason for visiting her bed that night.

When his eyes began to open she promised herself she wouldn’t be there, she’d be gone but she couldn’t bring herself to leave him. His smile was the one she woke to so many time before, but it was a fading memory to her. She notices the way the corners of his lips pull down into a frown and how he raises his hand to cup her cheek, she doesn’t realize why until he speaks in a raspy tone.

“Why are you crying, love?”

She freezes and reaches her own hand up to feel the salted droplets that are leaking from her eyes. In an instant she sits up and makes her way off the bed, but his hand stops her. With fingers firmly caught on her wrist, he stops her and pulls her back into his chest. His arms wind around her and cage her to him. His nose buries in her neck and her hands are holding onto his arms for dear life. For once she’s not sure if she wants him to let go or keep holding on.

As her eyes squeeze shut she sees the moment they had fallen in love for the first time behind her lids. Stolen coffees and accidental touches. She remembers how his eyes lit up when he first saw her, she imagines hers did the same. They were old school acquaintances, the ones that are quickly forgotten in the spiral of time and remembered the moment familiar eyes meet another’s. The way he smiled so warmly at her had her hooked from that moment on. A second meeting was inevitable when charming smiles were in play.

In a torrent of emotions, she is reminded of the first time they fought. The happy couple had only been together for a short time before the past began to catch up to them. They used to think of themselves as Romeo and Juliet, star crossed lovers but they were nothing like that. The two were just subject to a hierarchy that couldn’t be controlled.

“He doesn’t love you like I do.”

Those words broke her out of her reverie and she could feel a sharp pain in her chest. She remembers this quite well, the way he made her melt at his words but her duty to her family was more important. Or so she thought. She cried out and her hands that felt his warmth were used to cover her face. She wanted the tears to stop, she wanted to forcefully stop them so they wouldn’t fall anymore. You have to go. She spoke the words softly, barely above a whisper but he heard them clearly.

He pleaded with her, asking her to think about it again. What was so wrong with their relationship that it had to be over like it had never even begun? She didn’t know the answer to that, but her parents seemed to think they did. He would be an embarrassment was their excuse. Someone of his class was not meant for her and she fell under those lies easily. Her hands found his and she turned to look at him, eyes b with tears and his beginning to gloss over as he held her hands gently, gaze never wavering.

“He’ll ruin you. They’ll destroy you.”

She knew what he meant. Her heart that was so loving and kind would be torn apart by those people. He was the only one that had ever set her free and she misses it more than she thought she ever would. She glances at his lips, she’d never forget how they felt on hers. Warm. Leaning in as if to kiss him one last time she instead presses her forehead to his and closes her eyes.

“What they do to me is better than what they’ll do to you.”

In that moment he realizes what she meant and why she tried so hard to push him away. They were worlds that were passing by each other, meant to touch but only barely before moving on to the next. The two were meant to change each other’s lives, break each other, and then move on to what came next. Isn’t that what people referred to as soulmates? She didn’t know, she didn’t want it to be. He shook up her life in a way that she will fall victim to heartbreak and never love the same way again.

“I understand.”

He murmurs before letting go of her, pulling on clothes haphazardly. He stepped carelessly towards the door, pausing as he once did, before pulling it open. The last look he gave her was with tears streaming down his face and it was the look she’d remember for the rest of her life. The face of the man she loves broken by none other than herself.