"You can leave if you want to. I understand."

Simple, seemingly earnest words that shouldn't feel burdensome but never fail to be just that. Guilt mind-play. Maybe he really meant what he said, but seeing how much older he is than I am, and how much more white hair he had (ungracefully mixed with the remaining of his almost-but-not-quite black hair and moustache) compared to even Mother, he couldn't be that innocent, could he?

"Here's your coffee. Enjoy your drink." I only gave a mindless nod to the chirpy voice that dropped the steaming cup on saucer carefully onto our table, without looking up. Plain, dull, strong, straightforward, bitter, traditional, non-fancy. All signs pointing to not making a good first impression especially for a lady since such qualities seem to suggest a more positive notion when associated to men, that's all I could see in the plain black coffee I ordered that had just arrived, which actually, mirrored the drink choice of the man, or if I rather call him in my head, ahjussi, but of course, I couldn't and wouldn't address him that. Not in front of him.

Then again, I don't even know why I ordered this harsh plain black coffee that doesn't exude anything special in a cafe where there would be at least thirty types of fancy coffees and teas. Maybe I subconsciously was hoping to not make a good impression on him? Though why would he care to be bothered by my drink choice to decide whether this 'date' would end or begin here? Don't get me wrong. I never said or thought of myself as having some superior face or body or anything, but I definitely deserve better than to date on ahjussi who probably look older than Father even though I've never met him again after he left us. I don't even get why Mother could have the heart to do this after pestering me for this chance. I trusted her and gave in because she stopped talking about how I should be grateful if even there's anyone who wanted to marry me and started to say nicer things like how I should trust her because no mother would give anything but the best to their children and all.

Well, her tactic worked I guess. Because otherwise, if I had known or seen this ahjussi, I doubt I'd even turned up today. So I guess, her real stance on this old-and-unmarried daughter first world problem of hers remain the first one, that I should just be grateful with whoever she sets me up with. Even though I couldn't even harp at her even if she never left for the long vacation with Jinyoung, Jerry and JJ. Because maybe this is the reality. Am I entitled to be choosy? I've seen myself how almost all guys out there with more preferable age and appearance treat me. Even someone with same age as myself, like Eric, treated me like a joke when we used to be classmates at some point of our youth. Who knows, maybe happiness will come from accepting something you thought you couldn't and wouldn't accept, either with open heart, or grudgingly?

"It's...alright. We should finish the drinks first at least or it'd be a waste."

He nodded with a smile that only increased the creases and enhanced the wrinkles on his face. He didn't particularly look that bad, but to say he's not shabby at all is a stretch as well. He doesn't look rich nor dirt poor. He's wearing a black suit with a white shirt underneath, but it didn't fit him to a T, the suit in fact looks a little too loose on him, either he was a fatte