He felt numb. Lightheaded. Everything was foggy and confusing. Slowly Minho opened his eyes, blinking into the blinding light. A weak groan escaped his dry throat and he needed a few seconds to notice the whispering around him. A few more seconds to notice that the whispering was directed at him and that there were faces hovering over him, staring holes into him.

 

            "Guys...?", he asked with a rasping voice, coughing because of his dry throat.

 

            The next second a small ice ship was pushed into his mouth and he drank the melting water thankfully. After another two chips he opened his eyes again, this time recognizing all of SHINee surrounding his bed.

 

            "How do you feel, Minho-yah?", Onew asked, his voice laced with something strange.

 

            "Numb..."

 

            It was exhausting to speak. His eyes burned from the light and now that he was awake he started to hurt everywhere.

 

            "Do you know where that comes from?"

 

            "Oh please, Jinki, stop it!", Key stopped the older one, then turned to the man lying in the bed:

 

            "Where have you been, you ass? Do you know how worried we were? We thought you were dead! You just disappear for god knows how long and then some stranger finds you in some alley, half dead, and the hospital can only notify us because one of the nurses recognized you from Music Core! I'm so totally pissed right now! What were you thinking?"

 

            "What...? I don't remember... How long have I been gone?"

 

            "Almost four months... We thought you were dead.", the weak voice of Jonghyun was heard.

 

            Minho paled even more and his breath turned heavy.

 

            "What? Four? Why? I don't remember anything! I went outside to buy a package of chocolates, the ones Jonghyun-hyung likes so much, because I ate them all and then, nothing! I can't... How can...?"

 

            His breath turned shorter, small gasps, and his eyes didn't focus on anything, his fingers dug into the cover. Onew and Key grabbed for him, tried to calm him down, but Minho suddenly started to whimper, shook his head and mumbled incoherent things, his eyes shut tightly. The four boys started to panic, but fortunately a nurse and a doctor came inside and gave him a sedative to calm him down.

 

 

 

            The next time Minho woke up it was dark outside. He needed a few moments to remember where he was and then another moment to notice that he wasn't alone. Someone was sitting in the chair in the corner of the room. For a second he believed he would get another panic attack until he heard the person speak:

            "What happened to you?"

 

            Jonghyun. He didn't even wait for Minho to answer, just stood up and took a cup of ice chips out of a miniature-refrigerator, fed a few of them to Minho.

 

            "I blamed myself, you know...", he mumbled almost not hearable.

 

            "I blamed myself for yelling at you for eating my chocolates. I blamed myself for sending you outside, for demanding to buy me new ones in the middle of the night. I thought you were dead because of me."

 

            A short moment of silence, then:

 

            "Where have you been?"

 

            The boy lying in the hospital bed had problems to understand his band mate because of the sobbing the other couldn't suppress any longer. He wanted to hug him, to take his hand, to tell him that everything was alright, he was here, he was alive, but he couldn't even move, he hurt so much.

 

            "Thank you...", he mumbled weakly before he fell in a deep and exhausted sleep again, leaving Jonghyun wondering why he had thanked him.

 

 

 

 

            Minho had to stay in the hospital for six whole weeks. Although it had been so long already no one knew exactly what happened with him. The doctors had discovered different wounds but they didn't want to send him into a new panic attack and they didn't want to worry other people so Minho's parents decided to keep the specifics to themselves. His memories didn't come back yet and he still had panic attacks from short flashbacks from time to time. Normally a nurse would give him another sedative to calm him down but they noticed that he stayed calmer when someone of SHINee was by his side, even though the few times Key and Onew tried to touch him to calm him down his panic got even worse. It was so bad, Taemin was afraid to get too close to him, because he was afraid to touch him by accident and Jonghyun preferred to leave him entirely in the care of the others, their last interaction being when they had been the only ones in the hospital-room this one night Jonghyun had broke down.

            Finally the doctors decided to send him home, but he had to come back for regular check-ups. SHINee came to pick him up and help him. Minho had problems to walk without help, as if he hadn't moved all the time he had been away. He was thin, thinner than Taemin has ever been, and his big eyes, seemingly even larger, still didn't shine as bright as they did before. Nonetheless they were happy to have him back.

 

            "Manager said you don't have any schedule until you feel and are considerably better."

 

            Minho looked up to where Onew was standing in the front of the room, arms crossed in front of his chest and a frown on his face. Then he looked down again, watched his thin fingers play with themselves.

 

            "I'm sorry..."

 

            The others, who had been preoccupied with carrying sweets and drinks into the living-room, looked up, their attention caught.

            Jinki's frown seemed to deepen.

 

            "What are you apologizing for?"

 

            The second youngest in the room shrugged his shoulders, still looking intently on his fingers.

 

            "For everything. For making you worry. For holding you back. For being a burden. For not being able to answer all the questions, asked and thought. For not remembering. For being broken, I guess...", he mumbled lowly, almost not audible.

 

            Taemin exchanged a worried glance with Key, both still standing in the middle of the room with their hands full of bags. Jonghyun had put the bottles with refreshments down by now, kneeled in front of Minho but was careful not to touch him.

 

            "Minho, this is not your fault. Nothing of this is your fault. You are a victim of some kind of crime, yes, but you are most certainly not broken, you hear me? I refuse to think like that and the others also refuse to think like that. Everyone who ever tells you something else is dumb, okay?"

 

            A small smile graced Minho's face when he finally looked up and he nodded. Maybe he could even believe Jjong's words.

            Key grinned brightly and let the bags with candy fall down next to the drinks.

 

            "Okay, now that this is settled: 'Shopaholic' or 'The Devil Wears Prada'?"

 

 

            It had been a few weeks already since Minho had come back to the SHINee dorm. Most of the time he stayed in his room, thinking, reading or just existing. Although he believed Jonghyun's words he didn't want to be any more of a burden than he strictly had to be and thus didn't spent much time with his friends. He also didn't want to get any visitors, always refusing to let them into his room or to leave said room. Although he chose this situation for himself he felt alone, isolated.

            He was lying on his bed, just staring at the white ceiling, when a tentative knock was heard.

 

            "Minho? Can we come inside? It's Key. Taemin is also here."

 

            The boy's first reaction was to refuse, to tell them not to come inside. But after a second he reconsidered. He couldn't push them away as well. It wasn't healthy for him and for their relationship, he knew that.

 

            "Come in.", he mumbled, barely audible.

 

            The door to his room was opened and the two boys came inside, closing the door behind them. Slowly Minho sat up to make room for them to sit down, although he knew that they would keep standing. It had been like this for the past few weeks.

 

            "Minho, it is such good weather outside and you haven't left the dorm since you came back from the hospital. Heck, you barely left your room. Taemin and I want to go down to the park and I think you need a little bit of fresh air. You think you are up to a little walk?"

 

            No. He didn't think he was up to a little walk. He didn't want to leave his room. But just one glance to the hopeful eyes of his group mates and he knew that if he refused now they would never ask him again. And he was afraid of that.

            Slowly he nodded.

 

            "Sure, why not?"

 

            It hurt to see the obvious surprise in their faces.

 

 

            Just a few minutes later they were on their way outside. Key had insisted for Minho to wear really warm clothes because his body wasn't used to the weather outside anymore and he didn't want the weak boy to get ill on top of everything. Minho could only smile slightly and even if he would have wanted to protest he was still too weak to protest against a force like Kim Kibum.

            Big smiles adored the two boy's faces while they were accompanying him and for the first time since forever he didn't feel like that much of a burden anymore.

 

            They walked around for some time and whenever one of the two noticed that the tallest wasn't looking good they would sit down on a park bench and rest for a few minutes, until Minho managed to convince them that he was fine again. Neither Key, nor Taemin believed him completely but they still continued to walk around. It was a fairly big park and they were almost back where they began their round when the loud screeching of tires let them look up to the other side of the street. At first Minho only noticed the cars, Taemin's concerned question if Key or Minho could see if the boy sitting on the ground was hurt and the shouting people around them merely background noise. Next he noticed one of the drivers climb out of his car, face red of anger and a balled fist held high, cussing at the other driver. When Minho's eyes trailed the movements of the first driver, wandered over to the second driver he didn't notice him at first, too occupied by the fighting men. Then he looked up, into the eyes of the man standing in the background and his world seemed to freeze, the earth broke down under his feet.

 

            He had seen those eyes so many times, could still feel the pain he received while they merely watched. How they laughed when he had begged to just kill him, to end everything.

            He remembered how they were the last thing he saw when this sweet smelling piece of cloth had been thrust over his mouth and nose this one day a few months back when he had been on his way to buy Jonghyun's favourite chocolate.

            He remembered how they were the first thing he saw when he woke up lying on the hard floor of a storage house, his whole body aching.

            He didn't want to remember the things he had to endure while he was watched by those eyes.

 

            All this memories ran by his eyes in a matter of seconds and when he noticed the man making a step towards him he didn't even think of what to do. He turned away and ran. e ran without reacting to the shouts of Key and Taemin, ran without looking for the man, ran without noticing that he ran onto the road. When loud honking finally pulled him out of his panicked state he saw a car directly coming towards him. He had only time to raise his arms and prepare for the impact which would have been his death, when he was thrown from his feet, someone pulling him away.

            Without thinking he started to run and the next thing he noticed were strong arms holding him pressed to a strong chest and frantic breathing and murmuring he knew.

 

            Jonghyun.

 

            Tears started to pure down the younger boy's cheeks and he almost clawed at the back of his hyung.

 

            "He will hurt me again! Please! Oh god. He will kill me! I don't want to die! Please! Not again! I don't want to! He will hurt me!", he sobbed, his face pressed into Jonghyun's strong chest.

 

            The older boy tried to calm him down, didn't understand what was happening. Nothing of the things Minho said were logical, considering he just almost crashed with a car. He was glad when Key and Taemin finally arrived and tried to help him.

           Suddenly, just when Taemin touched Minho's upper arm, the young man screamed and shook his head wildly, begging for them not to hurt him. All three exchanged concerned looks over his head, Key and Taemin finally helping Jonghyun to stand up while he still held the trembling boy securely in his arms. Carefully they brought him back into their dorm.

 

 

            Concerned all of SHINee sat around the kitchen table, their eyes staying on Minho. The boy had fallen asleep almost immediately after Jonghyun lay him down on the couch, exhaustion taking its toll on him.  Onew had been confused until Key and Taemin explained everything while Jonghyun changed his clothes because his heroic action had destroyed his jeans.

 

            "What do we do now?", Taemin asked cautiously.

 

            Key shrugged his shoulders before whispering, out of fear to wake Minho:

 

            "Maybe we should collect some information. We should try to understand what happened."

 

            When he only received nodding in response he jumped up and vanished into his room, coming back after just a few seconds with a notebook and a pencil.

 

            "So, what do we know?"

 

            "While we had our walk everything was fine.", Taemin recalled, trying to remember as much as he could.

 

            "Then there was this almost accident and he suddenly freaked out and ran away."

 

            Key was already taking notes when Onew asked:

 

            "Did he freak out because of the accident? Did it trigger something?"

 

            "No. We were standing and watching already a few moments when he ran away. Taemin had just asked if we could see if the boy was injured and suddenly he took off. He had been watching the happenings on the other side of the street for the whole time.", Key piped up while constantly taking notes.

 

            Understandingly the two older boys nodded.

 

            Onew hummed.

 

            "Something he noticed later?"

 

            Key shrugged.

 

            "Could be."

 

            "Okay, what happened next?"

 

            "I had come down to meet you guys. You had been outside for a long time. When I arrived at the street I heard you screaming for Minho to stop running and then he was suddenly onto the street, the cars honking. I jumped forward, grabbed his arm and pulled him into my arms, not thinking about a possible reaction. But he didn't seem to care. Instead he was clinging to me, begging. He was afraid, didn't want to die. He was afraid someone would kill him, I think. But when Taemin tried to help him up and touch him he freaked out again.", Jonghyun finished.

 

            "He repeatedly said he didn't want to die, right? Maybe he really saw something that let him remember what happened?", Onew asked cautiously.

 

            Key had stopped taking notes, just sat there and doodled little circles on his notebook while Taemin tapped his fingers on the table. Jonghyun nodded.

 

            "But what could it have been?"

 

            " It was him...", came a weak voice from the couch.

 

            Immediately they jumped up and sat down in front of the weak boy, who cautiously grabbed for his younger hyung's hand.

 

            "Who was it, Minho?", he asked quietly.

 

            "Him... His eyes, so cold. He had fun while doing it... He laughed and it hurt so much. I wanted to die..."

 

            The hand around his own hand squeezed weakly and his body started to shake with sobs. Jonghyun stood up without loosening his grasp on the taller boy, helped him sit up slightly and slid down next to him onto the couch. Then he pulled him carefully into his arms, rocked him and whispered comforting words into his ears.

            Although they were glad that someone could hold him and comfort him the others were a little bit confused. Why did Minho react so strongly when someone else touched him?

            After a few minutes he calmed down again, only light shaking the indication that something wasn't alright.

 

            "Minho, do you want to tell us what happened?"

 

            A small shake of his head was the only answer Jinki got.

 

            "Please, we need to know what happened. We need to find out who did this to you."

 

            "It hurts, hyung. Even just remembering hurts, hyung."

 

            Jinki nodded understanding, exchanged a concerned look with Jonghyun over Minho's head.

 

            "Can you at least remember how he looked like? The guy who did this to you?", tried Kibum.

 

            A weak and humorless laugh left Minho's lips before he answered:

 

            "I don't think I will ever forget. And which one do you want?"

 

            Taemin's eyes grew wide and he asked:

 

            "It was more than one?"

 

            "Four. It were four."

 

 

            When the doorbell rang a few hours later Taemin was the one to open the door. The police man entered, a frown evident on his face.

 

            "Thank you for coming. I don't think he could leave the house so soon again without breaking down."

 

            Nodding understandingly he followed the young boy into the living room where the others were still sitting on and around the couch. Minho looked up with red rimmed eyes. It was obvious he had cried just a few minutes prior.

            He sat down in front of the couch, declining the chair Taemin had brought into the room.

 

            "You finally remember what happened?"

 

            Minho nodded, still saying nothing.

 

            "Can you tell me what happened?"

 

            He took a shaky breath and started to talk. He talked about how he was captured and tortured during the first few days. How it wasn't enough after some time and they started to rape him. How he begged for them to just kill him because he couldn't endure it anymore. A few times he had to stop because his sobs grew too strong, because he didn't get enough air anymore. Jonghyun held him pressed to his chest all the time, his hands rubbing soothing circles over his back.

 

            "Do you think you can describe the men?", the police officer asked quietly when Minho was finally finished, afraid to trigger some reaction if he spoke too loudly.

 

            "I don't think I can ever forget them again.", Minho responded.

 

            He had looked onto the floor the whole time, as if afraid to accidently look them into the eyes, but the police officer just continued:

 

            "Very well. I will send you someone to draw the phantom pictures. He will be here sometime tomorrow morning."

 

            All five nodded understandingly and Key, Onew and Taemin stood up with the police officer to bring him to the door, while Jonghyun and Minho stayed on the couch. Minho remained silent for a few more moments, but then he mumbled:

 

            "I'm sorry."

 

            "Didn't we tell you that you shouldn't be sorry? None of this was your fault. There is nothing for you to be sorry for."

 

            A small nod was the only answer he got.

 

 

            The next few days Minho didn't leave the dorm again. He was afraid to see him again. It was bad enough how he woke up screaming at night again, disoriented and still with half his mind in his nightmares. A few times Key, Onew and Taemin came running into his room but soon they stopped coming. It hurt them to see Minho breaking every day and they couldn't do anything because he still panicked when someone else than Jonghyun touched him.

            Minho on the other hand was breaking slowly even more inside. He didn't know what to do anymore. He knew that he couldn't control his nightmares but every time he saw one of his bandmates yawning he felt a little more guilty, felt that he should be doing better than this, that he should pull himself together and suck it up. He felt pathetic.

 

            It didn't happen often anymore, but sometimes he was left alone in the dorm. He sat trembling on the couch in the living room, an old concert DVD of SHINee playing in a futile attempt to make him feel safer. When Jonghyun had asked if he would be okay all alone, had even offered to stay and  cancel his appereance on a few shows, Minho had shaken his head, a reassuring smile on his face. It was okay, he would be fine. But he knew he would not. And now he was sitting on the couch, a scared and trembling mess, when suddenly the doorbell rang. With wide eyes he looked at the doorway to the hall. What should he do? It couldn't be anyone from SHINee, they all knew the code to the door by heart. But what, if they asked someone to look after him and he didn't open the door? What, if he worried them even more when he didn't open the door? Taking a deep breath he stood up, went to the door. Hesitatingly he looked through the peep-hole and his heart almost stopped beating. He backed away from the door until he stood with his back pressed against the wall, then he slid down on it, pulled his kneese up and hid his face in them, all the time trembling like leaves in the wind.

 

            He was there.

 

 

 

            When SHINee came back Jonghyun was worried. He had tried to call Minho a few times but the younger had never answered. The door opened and he saw the younger one immediately.

 

            "Minho?"

 

            When he didn't react Jonghyun hurried to get to him, but when he touched him the tall boy panicked, tried to get away and begged to let him go.

 

            "Please, please! I don't want to, not again!", he sobbed.

 

            Startled because of Minho's suddenly worsened condition he crouched down in front of him, pulled him into his arms, although he seemed to trash even more.

 

            "Minho, it's me, it's me. Calm down, baby. I'm here, everything is alright. I'll protect you!"

 

            "He was here. The bell rang and he stood in front of the door. I don't want to go back, I don't want to!", he cried, grabbed for Jonghyun as soon as he recognized the older one.

 

            Kibum and Jinki exchanged looks, signalled for Jonghyun to get up and go into the living room. When they finally settled down again Minho mumbled:

 

            "I can't do this anymore. Jonghyun, I'm getting crazy! I don't even know anymore if he really was here or if I just imagined the whole thing!"

 

            Taemin came into the room with a glass of water for his youngest hyung, smiled slightly when he took it with a thankful nod.

 

            "Why don't you leave?", he asked.

 

            Four confused faces looked up at him.

 

            "Leave?"

 

            "Yes", he shrugged "leave. They are looking for the guy, right? And you aren't allowed to come back into public until you are completely healthy, anyways. You can just leave for a few weeks and calm down without anyone knowing where you are."

 

            "I think Taemin is right. This might be the best decision for you.", Key mumbled.

 

            Minho nodded, but his grip tightened on Jonghyuns arm which was slung around his waist. But before he could say anything the smaller one mumbled:

 

            "I will stay with you."

 

            Just a second later Kibum jumped up.

 

            "You will what? Are you totally crazy? You don't even know where he will go or how long! Do you really want to sacrifice your career?"

 

            Jonghyun stayed calm, just looked up at his friend while stroking Minho's side.

 

            "I'll stay with him."

 

            A few seconds it looked like Kibum was about to explode then he seemed to literally deflate. A last look to Jinki and Taemin and he sat down again.

 

            "Okay. Okay. Where do you want to go?"

 

            "I need help. Therapy. I can't stay like that. Like this I destroy myself and you guys as well."

 

            Silence settled between them until Jinki mumbled:

 

            "There is a psychiatry just a few hours by car from here. They also help with trauma therapy. And they allow one accompanying person."

 

            "Why do you know that?", their youngest asked.

 

            "My cousin was there because of a car accident she was involved in."

 

            Before any more questions could be asked Minho nodded.

 

            "That's fine with me. As long as it's okay with Jonghyun as well..."

 

            "As long as you'll get better I'm fine with everything."

 

 

            Two days later they were already on their way to the institution. Although the management wasn't happy at all to let Jonghyun on 'vacation' they allowed him to leave. Without Minho they couldn't do any releases anyways.

            They kept mostly silent on their way, except for a short conversation halfway to their destination.

 

            "I'm sorry, hyung."

 

            "For what?"

 

            "For taking you with me. For destroying your career."

 

            "It was my own decision. I decided to leave with you. And I regret nothing. You didn't destroy my career, I'm just on vacation I choose to spend with you. And now stop apologizing. There is nothing you have to apologize for."

 

            "... Thank you."

 

            Minho didn't notice the pleased smile spreading on Jonghyun's face.

 

 

            His process was slow, but already after a few weeks he didn't wake up screaming anymore. He stayed at Jonghyuns side all the time at the beginning but the better his condition got, the longer he could stay away. He still needed the other by his side from time to time and sometimes looked frantically for him, but he could stay calm for ours by now. He even managed to stay calm when he was touched by other people than Jonghyun.

            The older one always looked out for his younger friend. He just couldn't see him hurt anymore. He helped as much as he could but knew that Minho had to fight this mostly alone. Nonetheless he was glad that his presence alone helped. Without letting Minho know he also stayed in contact with Kibum to stay up to date concerning the kidnapping. Except for Jonghyun Minho wasn't allowed to have any contact to the outside world.

            When after two months a call from SM Entertainment was made into the office of the institution neither Minho nor Jonghyun knew what had happened. But they were overjoyed when they learned that Minho's kidnapper - all four of them - had been captured. They left the same day for home.

 

 

 

            "Hyung... I'm not sure I'm ready to go in there yet..."

 

            Jonghyun looked up from his mobile phone he had been checking for the last few minutes. They had arrived ten minutes ago but when Minho didn't even look up from his hands to look out of the window the older one had stopped talking to him and just patiently waited for him to react by himself.

 

            "Why do you think you are not ready?", he asked softly.

 

            Minho's eyes wandered slowly over to his own, where he could see doubt and worry.

 

            "I'm afraid of their reaction. Because of me SHINee is on hiatus. Because of me you weren't there and they were left alone to deal with everything."

 

            Jonghyun sighed lightly, then he turned around in his seat to look directly into Minho's face and unlocked his phone to show him his chat with the other SHINee members.

 

            "Read this and tell me again they don't want you anymore."

 

            Confused Minho took the mobile from Jonghyun's hand and started reading. After just a few moments tears were sliding down his cheeks and he gave the mobile phone back to its owner.

 

            "They really missed me, didn't they? They really love me, don't they?", he asked sobbing.

 

            Jonghyun nodded and pulled the taller one into a hug.

 

            "They did and they do. Now pull yourself together and let's go out there to meet them before Kibum notices my car standing here and has my ass for 'keeping you by myself', how he likes to put this. This dude seriously needs to check up his brain."

 

            Minho laughed a little bit but nodded. After making sure that he didn't look too much like he brawled his eyes out he opened the door on his side of the car and went to the door. When they were finally upstairs and unlocked the door he didn't even have time to toe off his shoes when he was suddenly hugged by a person with bright red hair. Before he even had enough time to stiffen up or react in any other way to the hug he was released again and he finally noticed Kibum bubbling a mile a minute.

 

            "Minho, you're finally back! I'm so sorry I hugged you just know but I am so excited that you are back and Jjong wrote me that you are better but then he is always writing so much bullshit I wouldn't take his word for anything, and - oh my god - how are you, did your stay help you and why couldn't you at least call once a week, Jjong is just so unreliable with updates and he never let us write with you, that bastard!"

 

            Minho didn't know how to react and thus just looked at Jonghyun who seemed to get more pissed off every second Kibum didn't stop talking. Luckily, before either boy could explode, Jinki and Taemin came to the door.

 

            "Let them inside, Key. They still wear their shoes. Welcome home, you two.", he greeted them smiling and Taemin greeted them as well, also a bright smile on his lips.

 

            SHINee were finally together again.

 

 

 

            They stayed awake until late although Kibum, Jinki and Taemin had work the next morning. They were just too glad to have Minho and Jonghyun back. Even their packed suitcases were still sitting in one corner of their living room.

            Minho and Jonghyun had to tell them everything what they did in the past week and in turn all of SHINee told Minho what he didn't know yet. Nobody knew yet why Jonghyun and Minho hadn't been in public for the past month and the younger of the two was really glad about that. He didn't even dare to imagine what might happen if anything slipped into public.

 

            "Okay, guys. It's late. Minho and Jonghyun are probably tired and we have to wake up early. I'd say we are going to bed."

 

            Mumbling and yawning the other four nodded and left for their rooms.

            It was strange for Minho to go to bed alone. Jonghyun had been in the same room as him and sometimes, when the nightmares had been too much, he had allowed the younger to crawl into the bed with him. Minho just hoped that he wouldn't wake the others with his screaming, although he had slept through for the past week.

            Sighing he changed his clothes when he noticed a bunch of envelopes lying on his desk. It was rather late already, but he welcomed the distraction because he didn't want to go to bed yet. He took the envelopes and sat down on his bed, sorted them. He decided to start with the fan letters he got, surprisingly many. Most of them wanted him to come back soon, although he had been away only for a month. But when you were a regular at a show the audience noticed when you were missing. Then he noticed a thicker envelope lying beneath the others and picked it up. Maybe some kind of fan present? Curiously he picked it up and opened it. There was a bunch of photographs in it that looked like they were taken by a paparazzi. His brows furrowed when he noticed that they were taken over the period of almost a month. The month before he got kidnapped. Suddenly they changed, photographs of him being tied to a chair, unconscious. His hands started to shake and he was afraid to look further. He knew he should put them aside and call Jonghyun, the police, but he couldn't stop looking at them. He looked so frail...

            Then he looked at the next photograph and started to scream. He dropped the pictures and pressed as far into his wall as he could. He hid his face behind his hands and his screams turned into loud sobbing. The door to his room was torn open then and Jonghyun rushed inside, pulled him into a hug as soon as he reached him.

 

            "Baby, I'm here, I'm here! Calm down, nobody will hurt you. I'm here, I'll protect you!", he mumbled into his ear, stroke over his hair and cheeks and held him close.

 

            His gaze fell on the photographs scattered onto the bed and his eyes widened shocked. When he noticed the other three standing in the doorway of Minho's room he motioned for them to collect the photographs. Then he noticed how the boy in his arms mumbled something, almost inaudible.

 

            "What did you say, baby? Tell me, I'm here for you."

 

            Minho looked up with huge eyes, his pupils blown wide, and trembling hands clutching onto Jonghyun.

 

            "They won't stop. I can't endure that anymore. Please, just, kill me. I want this to stop!", he begged, his eyes wild and unfocused.

 

            Jonghyun didn't know what to do. When Minho begged him to kill him the chances were high that he would try to kill himself. And he couldn't let that happen. He was selfish, he knew that, but he didn't want to live without the younger one. Needed him as much as Minho needed him.

            His eyes ran through the room, took everything in. The trophies on the shelf, the books scattered on the bedside table, their group members standing in the doorway again and finally the photographs clutched in their hands, where his gaze stayed for a few seconds. Then he came to a decision.

 

            "Guys, go to bed. You have work tomorrow. I will stay here and take care of him."

 

            Kibum kept standing for a few moments, his eyebrows furrowed and it almost seemed as if he was trying to read Jonghyun's mind, which he couldn't do, thankfully. Then he nodded slightly and pushed the other two out of the room.

 

            "He's right, we have work tomorrow. Leave the photographs on the kitchen table, we have to call the police and show them. This might be evidence. Although we were dumb and touched them with our hands. Ugh."

 

            Jonghyun wasn't sure if he talked to them, or to himself, but he didn't really care. Patiently he waited until he was sure all of them were in bed and probably sleeping again, all the while holding Minho tightly in his embrace and mumbling reassuringly to him. Then he stood up slowly to not startle the frail boy and made sure to stay in his line of vision. He took one of the suitcases in Minho's closet and started to put anything necessary inside.

 

            "What are you doing, hyung?", a weak voice was heared after a few minutes.

 

            Without looking up he answered:

 

            "I'm packing your suitcase, Minho. We are leaving."

 

            Minho's brows furrowed, much like Kibum's just a few minutes prior.

 

            "What are you talking about? We just came back. Where are we going?"

 

            "I don't know yet where we are going. I will book the next flight to wherever available as soon as we get to the airport."

 

            At that words Minho stood up, his eyes wide.

 

            "Wait, you want to leave for good? What about SHINee? Your career?"

 

            "I don't care about my career. You are more important that this and I know that you will never be happy again if you stay here. And I will not leave you alone ever again!"

 

            "But...", he tried again.

 

            "No buts! I love you, Minho! As broken as you might be, I don't care! I love you and I don't intend to ever leave you alone, whatever you might say to me. SHINee and my career are great and all, but they aren't you. You are so much more to me!"

 

            After a few seconds he finally looked up to see Minho sitting on the edge of his bed, tears streaming down his cheeks and his arms reaching out to the older one. In just one long step he was in the younger ones embrace, holding him as close as possible. He didn't care that Minho didn't say anything, that he didn't answer his 'I love you'. He just wanted to stay by the younger one's side.

 

            "Okay, you finish packing your suitcase and I'm gonna go pack my own. We are leaving in an hour."

 

            Minho nodded slightly, turned around to finish his suitcase. Both knew that they wouldn't come back, at least for a very long time. Because of that he sat down after finishing his suitcase and wrote a letter to his family. It hurt him to leave them behind like this, but he knew he had to do this, to leave everything behind, at least for a while.

            Just when he was finished Jonghyun opened his bedroom door again and entered with his own suitcase.

 

            "You ready?"

 

            Minho nodded, grabbed his backpack and his suitcase, then looked at the envelope lying on his table.

 

            "Can we send this from the airport? It's for my family."

 

            "Sure thing. I have my own letter.", he grinned, pulling an envelope out of his bag.

 

            "And one for the guys, but I will leave that at the table. They should find it immediately in the morning."

 

            Understanding he nodded. Then he followed him out of the dorm, maybe for the last time.

 

 

~*~

 

 

I can't believe I finally managed to finish this story. I'm so so so sorry I let you wait for so long, but I finished! As a little present I promise to write you an epilogue. And I will not wait months (ugh) to update this time. I hope you liked this nonetheless~ Because I didn't want to let you guys wait any longer I didn't proofread it. So please just ignore the mistakes. English isn't my mothertongue as well.