SEPTEMBER YEAR 2017

I'm Super Junior fan, an ELF. Heechul's Petal to be exact. That's why I'm here to see him once again.

One week ago, I saw the news that there will be a Super Junior fan signing near in my place. So I took the chance to meet them, to see him. It's been 3 years since my fan girl life started to fade since she came into my life. Though, I'm not complaining for her existence because she's the most precious gift he gave to me.

I remembered on Heechul's Thanks To in their Mamacita Album, he said and I quote, "I hope you will come to Super Show in future with your babies." That's why here I am, (though it's not a concert), holding my child's picture since it's not allowed to bring babies on this kind of event. I want him to see my baby.

"Hi." Heechul greeted me politely, smiled as his dimple flashes into my sight. His big eyes that attracts me for the very first time. His beautiful face that I always admire. His intimidating presence that keeps me shy. It's still there. He never changed, still the same Kim Heechul I loved and the only one can keeps my heart beats irregularly.

I reciprocate his smile and stared on his eyes. "H-Hi... Oppa..."

Thump... Thump... Thump...

My heart says.

I have a question.

Is it impossible to feel love towards your idol?

Is it wrong to fall in love with him?

Am I crazy to have this weird roller-coaster feeling in him?

Many people can't understand what a fan girl really feels. They think we're insane to fell in love because on the very obvious reason, idols didn't know us individually.

But hell! Who cares? Like what I've said, many people don't know what we feel because it's not them who can feel in the first place.

And if you ask me, yes. I'm in love with the great Kim Heechul. I'm still in love with him.

"What's your name?" Heechul asked me as he took the photo in my hand. Suddenly, his lips stretched for a sweet smile when he flipped the photo. "Is this your baby?"

Thump... Thump... Thump...

"Y-Yes..." I nodded and smiled.

"How old is she?"

"2 years old by next week." I saw him looked at the picture for a while so I got a chance to admire him. Same eyes. Same nose. Same lips. As pretty as her.

"What's her name?" He looked at me again and my heart starts to go wild for the nth time this day.

"Hee... Heejae."

"Hmm..." Heechul nodded as he signed the back of the photo. "Heejae... Pretty name for a pretty baby."

I felt happy and proud. It's a complement from the only man I loved. "Thank you..."

When he gave me the picture, I thought my time with him is over. But he suddenly asks me, "So where's the father?"

Thump... Thump... Thump...

"H-Huh?" I choked my words. I didn't expect him to ask me a question. I thought it's just he'll greet, signed and goodbye.

Heechul blinked his eyes. It's seems he also didn't expect what's happening. "Uhmm.. Hehe.. I'm just curious. Sorry for intruding. I'm not saying you should answer it, you know? Hehe."

I took a glance to the picture of my baby then answered him with a genuine smile. "He's on his work... Actually, I'm talking to him right now."

Heechul stared at me like saying 'what the f are you talking about?'. I burst out and laughed. "Yah... Oppa! As if it'll happen. I just hope that it's you. Pfft."

Heechul sighed in relief. "Aish. You naughty mommy brat! Go home now and feed your baby! She might be hungry by now. Palli!"

A smile never left my face as I walked out of the venue. I looked back and saw him smiling to the fan in front of him. Like the smile he gave to me a while ago. But the smile he wore when he saw my baby, it's perfect. So precious to treasure. I wish someday I can see him smile to her like that again.

~*~*~*~

"Hi baby. Have you been a good girl?" I hugged and kissed her cheek as I reached our house. I asked my sister to look after her as I went to fan signing.

"She's been too loud and she always hit my face. She's a bad girl, unnie." My sister pouts as he glared to Heejae.

I chuckled. "But you can't deny that she's cute."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah right."