The screaming had been going on for a while now; it echoing through your entire body and making your heart ache. It was horrible to see your son like this; in panic, in pain,.. and the fact that Daehyun wasn’t even around made it worse. Life had been difficult ever since Jaejoong had been born. Of course you adored the little boy from the second you found out you were pregnant and Daehyun truly was a loving father indeed. If only he wasn’t so busy all the goddamn time. Truth was, his schedule prevented him from spending a lot of time with the two of you, which had made it so that it was mostly you who took care of your one and a half year old son. Especially during the night you were always the one to get up. After all, either your husband wasn’t home yet or too tired. And in all fairness, you understood how exhausting it must be for him to get up again after schedules like he had with BAP. So you did it instead, it was your duty as a mother and a wife, right?

But today was particularly hard. Jaejoong had a slight raise in his temperature, leading to fever, he hadn’t eaten much at all today and most of it came back out shortly after. The doctor told you earlier today it was quite possibly a stomach-infection. Medicine and having him drink a lot of water to prevent dehydration was the only thing could do right now. And it broke your heart. Hearing his endless cries, you cradled him close against you, begged for him to calm down and tried everything in your power to soothe your little boy. But it was in vain. And hours later you were sitting next to his crib, him clutching your finger in between the bars of it and holding on for dear life as you softly sang his favorite songs. Ironically that was also how you felt; worn out, exhausted, unable to say or do much more…alone and simply holding on. If only Dae was here.

“What are you doing here?” his voice sounded surprisingly loud in the silence of the night. With a shock you realized you must’ve been sitting there for at least 3 hours now; making it rather late since he was already home. His voice however, woke up the small child in the crib; causing him to burst out in cries yet again. “Oh no, no. It’s okay Jae-Jae, mommy’s here. Shhhh. Everything’s okay.” You instantly went back into full-on mother-mode, regardless of how tired you had been only seconds ago. “Oops.” His dry voice sounded from the door and had you glare at him. He was tired, you could hear in the way that he reacted that he wanted to go to bed. Unfortunately you were tired too, and annoyed. Not a good combination.

“Oops? Are you kidding me? I spend the entire day with our sick son; worrying like crazy! And then when I finally manage to put him to sleep, you come barging in and all you can is oops?” you bursted out over the crying of Jaejoong.  The surprise was obvious on Daehyun’s face as he looked at you. “Okay If you’re going to be like this, I’m gone. I’m not in the mood for this, I’m going to bed.” He then said, typically trying to avoid conflict. Logically, you knew it was the best thing to do; but the irrational part of your anger didn’t seem to agree.  How dare he act like you were overreacting about this? He had not called once during that day despite your text messages and all your worries for your son. “Oh YOU are not in the mood for this? Does it look like I am? Maybe for once you should try to be an actual father and do something!” you  then yelled, immediately regretting the words you said while storming past him holding Jae.

Daehyun was perplexed; he didn’t even move an inch as you passed him and went downstairs. Tears streaming down your face, Jaejoong crying in your arms; all of it was overwhelming you to the point of you almost dropping down in the couch were it not you were holding a baby. Seeing the tears of his mother and the change of environment seemingly surprised the little boy; having him stop his tears and look up at you with those big dark eyes of his. “Shh it’s okay sweetie. Mommy’s okay.” You nodded, kissing both his chubby cheeks before cuddling him sweetly. Being so absorbed in that moment of peace with him, you failed to notice how your husband had entered the livingroom and joined you.

“I only saw my cellphone on the way home, jagiya. I… I figured that since you didn’t text me for the past 3 hours he was asleep, that’s why I reacted like that when I saw you sit there.” He explained, trying to give you a soft smile while you still glared at him. “You should’ve answered sooner. You need to check your phone more often. I’m not only talking about today, I’m talking about all those moments you miss from our little boy.” You sighed deeply this time, not wanting to argue but needing to let it all out. Deep down you know it wasn’t Daehyun’s fault, but it was a fact that he hadn’t objected much to the busy schedules of BAP either. And it had made you wonder; did he not want to spend time together? It was a foolish thought, but it was there nonetheless; eating you up inside. “I try my best..” he reacted, “you need to try harder. He’s growing fast, Daehyun. It won’t be much longer before he’s two years old. You’re missing out on too much. Now, it might not all be fun and glitters, but even moments like this when he’s sick are moments we need to share together. To be strong together for our little boy.To be husband and wife, mother and father. I need you too. ” You brought out tiredly, watching him nod as you did so. .. Did it sink in? Did he realize what you just said?

Meanwhile, Jaejoong was softly fidgeting yet again. You knew he would be crying again anytime soon and to your own surprise, it was your husband who took him from your hands after a moment of silence from his side. “You go to bed. I will take care of him.” He insisted, holding the crying child against his chest. “Are you sure?” you mumbled, unsure if he was doing this against his will or not. It was hard to tell with that determined look in his eyes. “Jagi, please… You look dead tired..And despite of what you think, I do know how to take care of our son. Please go to bed.” He continued on, getting up and grabbing a cup of water to give to him. “Try to make him sleep some.” You nodded, slowly walking into the direction of the door and giving one last worried glance. “Go.” You heard yet again.

It wasn’t shortly after you felt a familiar warmth surrounding you as you felt yourself getting pulled back out of your dreams. Unaware of how long you had been asleep, you blinked a few times; dazed and confused. “I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” he mumbled as his arms wrapped around you and he spooned you.  “It’s fine… Is..is Jae asleep?” you wondered, seeing how two hours had passed and your husband was now by your side. The house was silent and you couldn’t be happier. “He is…and…” Daehyun started, a silence following. “And?” you replied, not moving an inch but you were wide awake right now and curious as to what he had to say. “And you were right… I… I had no idea of how difficult it was for you. Seeing Jaejoong cry the past two hours, seeing him in pain and hold on to me like that. It made me realize how much I had missed. You know I didn’t even know he was wearing a bigger size of diaper right now?” he let out a small sigh at his own words. To you it was painful to hear how you had been right, but at the same time you were glad he did realize it now.  

“From now on I’ll get out of bed too at night. And I will talk to the CEO and ask for more time with my family. This… it just isn’t fair to both you and Jaejoong. He needs his daddy.” Daehyun decided with a certainty to his voice that made you smile and turn around in his hug. “And I need my husband too.” You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his plump lips. “I need you too sweetheart. Always have, always will. And I’m never going to make you feel so alone ever again, okay?” he promised, moving to pull you closer yet again.